I do not own Glee. I can dream, though. Enjoy!

Summary: It's Kurt's birthday and Burt is completely helpless when it comes to fashion and common sense.

All mistakes are mine and only, read/review!

"What in Gaga's name is this supposed to be?" Kurt gapes in horror.

"It's fashionable, don't you like it?" Burt crinkled his nose at his son's expression. "I got it in pink, but according to the guy at the store, it can come in purple or blue."

Finn is both amused and horrified. "Uh, pink is nice…right Kurt?" Finn says trying unsuccessfully to hide his snorts. Kurt's eyes move back and forth between Burt and Carole. Carole simply looks helpless and apologetic, as if to say, I tried to stop him. Burt seems proud of his birthday gift to Kurt.

"Well, what do you say to your old man?" Burt smiles. Kurt winces.

"Um, thanks Dad!" Kurt puts on a false expression of enthusiasm. His voices cracks in the effort. Mentally slapping himself for doing so, he adds, "It looks great. And very pink." Kurt doesn't have the heart to tell his father that the color is actually 'salmon.' Burt beams.

"Well, now you can't say that I don't know who Mr. Valentine is!"

"Valentino, Dad."

"Right, him! I looked him up on Wikipedia, to make sure I was getting the same type of fancy-shmancy things you get." Finn is having a hysterical laugh-attack in the corner. Kurt thinks he sees tears. Thankfully, Burt doesn't notice or doesn't care to. "Apparently, this was the only thing on sale and under eighty bucks!"

"Dad, do you honestly think that this is Valentino?" Still appalled at his present, he still manages to look down his nose at his father. "Where did you even buy this…thing?"

"Down the street, at that huge store with two stories." Burt is confused.

How in God's name are we related? "Dad, that was a department store. Was it connected to the shopping center from the inside?"

"…maybe." Burt huffs.

Sighing, Kurt explains, "Dad, what made you think you were buying me Valentino?"

"The nice lady with the nametag told me it was made by Valentine-o." Joining Finn in the corner, Carole is silently banging her head against the wall in frustration.

Kurt wants to scream she was being sarcastic! "Well, Dad, I appreciate your efforts in shopping." Kurt is genuinely impressed. Last year, Burt had purchased stirrup pants, which were promptly thrown out less than sixty minutes later. Even though his present this year is downright crazy, Burt is taking baby steps. Right now, Kurt didn't want to begin another fight about fashion with someone so completely oblivious. It was clear his father would never learn, but Kurt had accepted that.

"Maybe you can even wear this to Prom!" Kurt can see the wheels in his father's head turning.

Quickly and panic-stricken, he simply can't take it any longer. "Dad, I am sorry, but I'm never going to wear this."

Burt looks like someone just told him Deadliest Catch had been cancelled. "But I thought this is what you liked!" Burt persists.

Kurt mutters in exasperation, "Dear Lord…" Then in an outburst of indignation, Kurt announces, "Dad, I do not wear dresses!"

A large intake of breath comes from the corner, as Finn struggles to breathe between sobbing and laughing. Carole takes a final look at Kurt's new dress, and walks away silently to the kitchen. Returning a few moments later with a rather intimidating steak knife, she hands it to Kurt and steps back. "You know what to do," Carole says darkly.

Kurt nods and finishes the job. A tear forms in Burt's eyes.

Softly, Burt protests, "It was on sale for twenty-percent off."

For a picture of the dress: ./_RkdN7kEoRcE/SavZo2yWcwI/AAAAAAAACgg/xBjNQtIloIM/s400/1110_