I had only just turned 11 when it happened. I can't remember any other time that I've felt that amount of fear.
My mother had come running to see what was the matter when she heard my scream. But instead of taking me in her arms, as she had always done before, she just smiled. I see still that smile in my nightmares.
I realise now how silly I was being then. But I was young, and anyone would panic, seeing that they were bleeding so heavily. I thought I was dying.
Looking back, it's little wonder that I felt hurt. My body was going through all manner of changes, and all my Mother could do was celebrate. I can't really blame her. The border moon which she came from had a high death rate, so a young girl surviving to an age where she could bear child was quite an achievement. But that life was not to be mine.
I'm not sure when Zanina hired my mother. She was so successful as a Companion. She mainly spent her time touring the Core Planets, but sometimes a rich Client would take her to one of the moons. It was the furthest out she'd ever been in the System, and she was so moved by the plight of the people on Shadow that she decided to take on Mamma as a lady's maid. It was one less mouth to feed, and Mamma would be able to send the credits home to help buy the essentials. It seemed a like a beneficial situation for all.
But Zanina didn't realise Mamma was expecting. Neither did Mamma, I suppose. But Zanina didn't go back on her word. She kept Mamma on, and when I was born, suggested that she tutor me to give me the best possible chance of being accepted into the Guild Academy.
It's not widely known that the Guild Academy accepts girls as early as age 9. Of course, the skills which are used in the union with a man, or a woman, aren't taught until a girl is at least 17, but a girl is eligible to apply from the time she reaches womanhood, and she is taught all the other skills which enable her to function at the higher levels of society. Music, dance, languages, literature, even fencing.
So this is what my mother was celebrating that day. My body had matured. I had become a woman, and so I could start learning the skills which would see me through my whole life. I just wish she'd explained before it happened.