Chapter 1- Time Goes By

"It's done, over," I said, staring at my feet, not wanting to see the pained expression on his face. I instantly regretted saying those words the second they came out of my mouth, but there was no taking them back now. I knew that in the long run, this would be the right decision for the both of us; right now though, it hurt like hell. The seconds ticked by slowly, and he didn't say a word in response. A minute passed, and he still hadn't said anything. Two minutes. Three minutes... and still nothing. Breaking up wasn't supposed to be this easy, was it? Where was the yelling? The tears? "Edward, say something," I demanded. "What do you want me to say, Isabella?" He had used my real name, a name that he had never used before. It cut me deep and instantly added to the twinge of regret. I squared my shoulders, preparing myself for the screaming match that was brewing under the surface. "Anything!" "Why? You've made up your mind, and there's no changing it for you. So the way I see it is..." he ran his hands through his hair "...I have two options.

"One: I can beg and plead my case and have you still walk out on me, and me look like an utter fool. Or, two: I can respect your decision -although I strongly disagree with it -and save me the humiliation." I stood there, stunned "I... I... I-" He looked up at me, the pain written in stone across his face. "I love you, Bella. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Forever and eternity. If this is something that you want, and that will make you happy, then so be it."

I nodded, weakly. "It is." "Then promise me one thing..." His voice trailed off. "Anything." "Be safe," he whispered the words that I had heard a hundred times before. "Always." I nodded, grabbing my jacket and truck keys. "And, I can promise you this, Bella. I will always be here. So, if you ever change your mind or miss me, I will be easy to find." I took one last look at those topaz eyes that had been the subject of many a dream, almost disgraced at what I had done, and walked out. For good. In my old truck, with the engine roaring, tears trickled down my cheeks. Part of me was thankful that Edward didn't have the chance to see me like this, while the other part of me wondered why now? I placed my hand protectively over my stomach, whispering quietly, "It's just us now."

~*~ I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing Just praying to a god that I don't believe in Cause I got time while she got freedom Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even {{The Script, Breakeven}} ~*~

EPOV Five years later The morning sun was peeking in through the curtains of my bedroom, and I groaned - it was too early to be getting up. I fought the urge to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day, but the reality was that I couldn't. Today - despite being just a regular Monday - was my own personal version of hell, though without the fire, brimstone, and guy with a pitchfork and pointy tail dancing around in red. Today was her birthday... Bella's birthday. September 13th. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I wondered where she was now, what she was doing with her life, and most of all, who she was living it with. So much time had passed. I was sure she had found someone that made me just a distant, blurry memory. On the other hand, in my mind, no other woman ever came close to what I'd had with Bella. Every girl I dated couldn't measure up to the standards that she had set. Her hair, her eyes, her quirky clumsiness, the smell of strawberries and freesias that lingered on her skin- all were emblazoned in my memory. In five years, I hadn't left the state of Washington, in hopes that maybe one day there would be a knock at my door and Bella would come back into my life. My world would be right again. Still, my door had been quiet for years, and I couldn't help but wonder if she would ever come. Life went on, though. I graduated college, and was now on a temporary break from getting my Master's in Family Psychology, working full time at a troubled teen placement facility. I got dressed in typical office wear of black slacks and an olive green polo, but all the while my mind was stuck in memory mode. I became engrossed in memories of a happier time, with Bella by my side. I never really knew why she wanted to end it, but I always wondered if it was something that I could have done differently. That girl was... that girl is my heart and soul. My drug of choice, my own personal brand of heroin, if you will. - I walked into work and went through the ritual of greeting everyone I passed in the hallways, checking messages, and getting caught up on the pile of paperwork that seemed to grow exponentially. "E! How was your weekend?" Jasper asked, standing at the doorway to my office. The curly, blonde haired Southerner was my best friend, both inside and outside of the office. "It was amazing," I answered, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "That great, huh?" he asked, concerned. "Yep," I muttered. We ended up inside the break room down the hall from office, drooling over the all important cup of the thick, dark liquid the company tried to pass off as coffee. "E, you have to snap out of it. It's just another day," Jasper said, stirring his coffee with one of those little stir sticks. "I can't, she was just..." I trailed off, staring helplessly at my coffee. "The one that got away, blah, blah,blah. I know, Edward; you say that every time she comes up." "What, she was." "But the thing is, she's more than likely moved on; why haven't you?" "I don't know, Jazz. No one seems to measure up to her," I answered truthfully. He shook his head. "Is it that no one actually measures up, or is it that you don't want anyone else to measure up?" I wondered vaguely if he had a point.