Rated: K
Spoilers: For Ua Hopu, aired May 7, 2012. The story is based on events up to the season 2 finale. I apologize for any inadvertent errors...
Disclaimer: Hawaii Five-0 is owned by Peter Lenkov, Bob Orci, and CBS, sadly not by moi. No profit being made here, but I sure do enjoy writing about the 5-0 gang.
Author's Note: This story had its roots in our trip to Hawaii in February, 2012. We were welcomed with such aloha by friends old and new, and the word ohana became very real to me. It is to our island friends that this story is dedicated.
Rainbows
by Jet
"Anybody seen McGarrett?" Chin Ho called from the big computer table in 5-0's bullpen. "It's after ten, and I have the insurance numbers on that chain of robberies in the Diamondhead district."
Kono's voice lilted from her office. "Not me, Cuz. Just got in from court."
Danny Williams' eyes squinted as he checked his watch then confirmed the time on his computer clock. Ten sixteen and no McGarrett. Definitely not normal.
His eyes strayed to the calendar beside the computer's clock, and Danny winced. Damn!
Grabbing his cell phone from his desk, Williams sprinted for the door. "Don't wait up," he called back. "Steve's ok, but just...just don't look for us back here today, ok? Hold down the fort, guys!"
And he was gone, leaving a confused Chin Ho Kelly staring at the closing door.
Another perfect day in paradise. Steve McGarrett stared at the crystalline aqua water and grimaced. Paradise...right. Not every day. Not for everyone. He chugged another swallow of beer and sighed heavily. Maybe if he stared long enough, the gently lapping waves would wash away the memories. Just for today. Tomorrow he would be fine, and paradise would return once more. If he could only make it through today.
"Thought I might find you here."
McGarrett didn't turn his head, his gaze still fixed on the hypnotic interplay of wave and sand.
"Why are you here, Danny?"
The warm voice from behind his right shoulder was quiet and calming. It didn't interfere with the drone of the waves, Steve observed with relief. Forgetting might still be an option.
"I, my friend, am here because here is where you are." Danny's voice softened. "I'm sorry, Steve. I didn't realize until Chin asked where you were, then it hit me. I should have..."
McGarrett waved the beer bottle absently, cutting Danny off. "Not your place, Danno. I don't expect you to..."
"I expect it. Furthermore, I beg to differ, but it is my place to remember things like this. Things that are this important to you."
A shadow fell between McGarrett and the crystal waves. His eyes slowly lifted until they focused on Danny's face as his partner and friend continued, "Because what's important to you is important to me. That's how friendship works, right?"
Their locked gaze held a long moment before Steve gave a quick nod of agreement.
Steve's acceptance of his words seemed to satisfy Danny. "OK, then." Danny gestured to the reusable fabric grocery bag in his hand. "I'm going to put these on ice, grab a beer, and be right back."
Steve inquired flatly, "What is...?" He nodded at the bag as his words trailed off.
"This? This is dinner. We'll raid the fridge for leftovers for lunch or call for pizza. Lunch isn't a biggie. But tonight we dine on steaks, potatoes and salad. Grilled to perfection and served at an oceanfront table at Chez McGarrett." The teasing tone belied the concern in Danny's blue eyes. "If that works for you, Steven. As always, but especially today, you are in control."
Steve stared again at the clear turquoise-tinged waves caressing the sand. He took another long swallow of beer. "It works."
The shadow vanished as Danny moved toward the house, his shoes crunching quietly in the sand. "Hey, Danno?"
The footsteps hesitated then stopped. Steve swallowed hard but didn't turn away from the hypnotic waves. "Thanks."
"Be right back..."
The hot dogs from Steve's fridge, combined with corn chips and beer, made a decent enough lunch. Few words were exchanged, but none were necessary. After lunch, they drifted separately back to the beach. Steve dragged down a second chair but stopped short of inviting his friend to join him. After cleaning the kitchen, Danny changed into swim trunks he'd left at Steve's along with a change of clothes. Made things easier for spur of the moment surfing excursions. Danny grabbed a towel and headed to the beach.
Might as well get a little sun.
He spread the towel on the sand next to Steve's chair then stretched lazily. Flopping onto his back, he sighed in contentment. The sun was warm, the breeze gentle, and the waves lapped so peacefully against the shore. "Hey, Steve," he murmured minutes later as he felt sleep approaching. "This ain't too bad, partner. Not bad at all." If McGarrett responded, he never heard.
Danny woke with the sun baking his chest and legs. His back hurt. That wasn't totally unexpected considering he'd fallen asleep on a thin towel spread over sand. Speaking of sand...
"Water?" he croaked. The sun was noticeably lower in the sky. How long had he slept?
A tanned hand passed him a cold bottle from the cooler Steve had packed after lunch. Droplets of condensation dripped from Steve's hand to his, cool and refreshing.
The breeze brought a gentle hint of plumeria, and the water looked so inviting.
A few swallows later and the parched feeling abandoned his throat. Danny stood up, stretching his arms wide before bending down to touch his toes. Nice to get the kinks out. "I'm going for a swim. Want to cool off, too?" When Steve didn't respond, Danny jogged down to the ocean.
He was already up to his knees in the Pacific when he heard a slight sound from the beach. Danny smiled quietly as the Navy SEAL glided soundlessly beneath the water.
Danny flipped to his back and floated, enjoying the contrast of white clouds against azure sky. For all his complaining about Hawaii, even he couldn't deny its beauty. Not to himself anyway.
A few ripples quietly captured his attention, then Steve's head emerged from below water, right at his shoulder. McGarrett gracefully straightened, slicking his dark hair back against his head. Water beaded on his tanned shoulders as he stared at his home.
The home that had belonged to his parents not so long ago.
"Doesn't seem like two years." Steve's voice was flat. Most people wouldn't have heard any emotion in the brief comment, but Danny caught the underlying wisp of sadness and flinched inwardly.
Steve added quietly, "Other times, it feels like forever."
Danny dropped his feet to the soft sand and stood up next to Steve. Like his partner, he focused his gaze on the house. Restraining his natural inclination to jump in and force a discussion, to delve into Steve's thoughts and feelings, Danny held back, remembering all he'd learned about McGarrett in the almost-two years they had known each other. Follow his lead. Let him be in charge. Or at least let him think he is.
He simply replied, "I wish I'd known you then. I have a feeling you could have used a friend."
Steve's shoulder pressed against his own for a moment, and Danny felt him draw a long breath then slowly release it. "Me, too, Danno."
In an instant, McGarrett slipped beneath the water again, and Danny tracked his long graceful shadow. "C'mon, Steve," he whispered. "Open up here. Work with me, partner."
When McGarrett surfaced far in the distance and began swimming an easy backstroke, seemingly in no hurry to return, Danny trudged to shore. He grabbed Steve's spare towel, briskly scrubbing at his hair, watching his friend.
McGarrett's slow backstroke became a brisk freestyle. Stroke by stroke, McGarrett gained speed, arms and legs driving powerfully as though in an Olympic event. Danny leaned forward, the towel stilled, as he watched his friend propelling himself harder and faster through the clear blue water. Suddenly, McGarrett plunged below the water, scarcely creating a ripple, and Danny's breath caught.
It's okay. He's a fish, right? This is his element. No worries...
Seconds followed seconds and stretched into minutes as time ticked slowly by.
Damn…
Despite his best intentions not to worry, Danny felt his heart beating faster. He didn't see Steve anywhere. How deep was the water out there anyway? He stood up, taking a few steps closer to the ocean. McGarrett was an emotional wreck today, not that he showed it outwardly. Probably not the best time to make some crazy long underwater free dive, right? What was Steve thinking?
C'mon, Steven! Let me see you, buddy. Exactly how long can you hold your breath anyway?
Should he go in after him? If he did, what the hell did he expect to do - rescue a Navy SEAL? Him? Danny Williams of Jersey? Right.
An nightmarish image exploded in his mind's eye. Steve...floating motionless beneath the water...arms and head slack...lifeless.
Danny broke into flat run, hitting the water at full speed, slowing only when the water became too deep to run. "Steve! Steve!" He scanned from left to right and back again. Nothing.
A cramp? If Steve had experienced a strong cramp below water, could he have made it back to the surface? "Steve! Damn it, Steve!"
What if he had encountered some kind of sea creature? What all was out there, really? Sharks for sure. Rays? Eels? Barracudas? Sharks were worse than barracudas, right? Sea snakes! He'd heard about venomous sea snakes. Did they live in the waters around Hawaii? Could they bite underwater?
No blood. He didn't see blood. That was good, right?
He dove beneath the surface, peering as far as he could through the clear water. No sign of McGarrett. He swam underwater, heading deeper and deeper, then Danny stopped, staring in disbelief.
The ocean floor dropped off steeply just ahead, the water turning from a pale blue to a deep indigo to black. Beyond that, he couldn't see. His chest tightening from lack of air, Danny pushed off the sandy bottom and shot to the surface. One breath, treading water, then he yelled, "Steve! Where are you?"
His cell phone. Definitely time for 911. Danny swam back toward shore, reached the bottom, then half ran, half stumbled for shore.
"Danno!"
He froze, breathing hard. For an instant his temper flared, but his eyes locked on the house and he remembered. Breathe, Williams. He's okay. Just breathe and don't lose it. Not today.
Steve strolled up beside him from down the beach, dripping wet but not breathing hard at all, his eyes staring down at Danny, searching his face. "You okay? You looked scared to death."
The veil of sadness had lifted from Steve's blue eyes, Danny noted, replaced by undisguised concern for his friend. "What's wrong?" Steve's hand clasped Danny's shoulder, kneading gently.
"Nothing…" Danny muttered, embarrassed at having been caught in full panic mode. "I thought…I couldn't see you and…I..." He shrugged, but Steve's hand held firm. "You were down so long."
That sounded lame, now that the perceived danger had passed. Danny tried to lighten the mood. "Should've known Super SEAL wasn't in trouble." His attempt at humor sounded flat, even to his own ears.
Steve's expression hardened in a heartbeat, his hand dropping from his friend's shoulder. "I'm not a super SEAL, Danny. I never have been," McGarrett said roughly. "I'm a long way from that." He turned and stalked to shore with long, angry strides.
Stunned, Danny could only stare after McGarrett. What the hell? He had teased Steve with the nickname for as long as they'd known each other. The teasing was part of who they were - what they were. It went both ways.
His brows knitted as he watched his friend's departing back. Why turn on him today? Puzzled, Danny watched Steve's retreating back for a few moments then in sudden a burst of insight, he got it. Steve wasn't angry about the nickname.
He was angry about what it implied.
No, Steven. You're wrong. We are going to talk about this. Now.
"Steve!" Danny sprinted from the water, catching up to his friend halfway to the house. "Stop!"
When McGarrett spun around, his expression stole Danny's breath. The naked pain, the pure grief, tore at his heart. "Steve," he whispered. "Talk to me…please..."
Steve's hands clinched and released at his side. His voice was rough with emotion. McGarrett shouted, "I failed, Danny! Don't you get that? I should have been here! I should have stopped it! I should have done…something!"
Steve grabbed Danny's shoulders, gripping hard and staring desperately into his friend's eyes. Danny forced himself not to wince, gritting his teeth against the pain. He held Steve's desperate gaze just as firmly, almost afraid to blink and break the connection between them.
"Two years ago today Hesse broke into our home and took my father hostage. They killed him, Danny! With me on the phone, hearing the whole thing! They made me listen to the shot that killed him! I'm no super SEAL! I couldn't even protect my own ohana!" Steve's breath caught in a choked off sob as he jerked away and strode back to the water's edge. Stunned, Danny could only stand and stare.
Aw, Steve.
Family
That's what it all came down to, right? A flash of Grace...Rachel...his parents and brother...then...Chin Ho...Kono...and Steve. What would he do - how would he feel - if something happened to any one of them and he had been unable to do a damned thing?
Steve slammed back in his chair, another beer grasped in his shaking right hand, staring unseeing at the water. He'd lost it with Danny, something he hadn't intended. Having his friend with him today meant a lot. Danny shouldn't have to glimpse the guilty darkness Steve had banished deeply inside. Some things were too raw, too painful, to share...even with himself. He had done so well hiding the darkness. His military self-discipline had held firmly, allowing no access to the churning anger and guilt he had denied. Until today…
Now the discipline had broken, and Steve knew he couldn't banish the darkness any longer.
He focused on the shaking hand holding his beer, willing it to still. Hearing Danny's approach, he breathed deeply, slowing his racing heart. He was surprised at how normal his voice sounded. He really was good at the control thing - at least most of the time.
"Sorry, Danno. I didn't mean to…"
Casually, Danny sat in the chair next to him. "Really, Steve? You're apologizing for getting emotional on the anniversary of your father's murder? Not necessary, my friend." He gestured at the beer in Steve's now stilled hand. "Give me one of those, will you?"
Steve dug a beer from the ice chest and handed him and handed it to him. Danny leaned back in his chair, digging his toes into the sand. "Is it hard living in the same house where...it happened?"
Steve cut his eyes to Danny and read only genuine concern on his face. "Most times, no. There are a lot of good memories here. I focus on those. On this day, though…" His voice trailed off and he shrugged. "Yeah, today's tough."
A catamaran with a rainbow sail glided past. His father enjoyed sailing and had taught his son. He'd have to take Danny out sometime. Let him see the island as it should be seen, from the water, flying with the wind. No engines required. Nothing to disturb the peace. Yeah, they'd go sailing. Soon.
Danny's quiet words interrupted his reverie. "You don't have to stay here tonight. You...we...could go to my place, such as it is. It's not much but the couch is okay. For a night, anyway. Or two...whatever you need."
"No. Then he'd win," Steve said firmly. "If he drives me from my home, even for a night, Wo Fat's won."
"He's in prison, Steve. You beat him. You don't have to be here tonight to prove anything."
"Just to myself," Steve said softly. "I'm not leaving. But thanks for the offer." He leaned his head back and a crooked half-smile broke through. "Really, Danno. Thanks. For being here…"
Nodding, Danny sipped his beer. "It's my place, remember?"
A few minutes passed, the silence easy between them.
"What could you have done?" Danny's words were soft yet overwhelmingly powerful.
Steve was caught off-guard. He shook his head, not comprehending.
Danny forged on. "That day. If you'd been here, what do you think would have happened? I mean, ignoring the fact that they didn't want you to be here at all. That was kinda the point, right? For you to hear what was happening but be helpless to stop it. But let's say you had been here, what would you have done?"
Steve shrugged. "I can't know for sure but I would have fought. I would have taken some of them out. Maybe I would have stopped them from killing him."
"Maybe you would have died, too." Steve didn't miss the ghost of pain in Danny's flat statement. "There were more of them. They had the element of surprise. They had your father. Maybe you would have died, Steve. Think about that a minute."
McGarrett stared at the lapping waves. That possibility had never occurred to him. Any fantasy about being there that fateful day ended with his saving his father, blasting away all who stood in his path. The vision of what might have been had haunted him for two years. The scenario Danny suggested never crossed his mind.
"Think about it," Danny pressed. "No Five-O. All the people we've helped, the crimes we've solved - none of it would have happened. You'd never have brought Chin to the team or met Kono...or me. No Uncle Steve for my Gracie."
Danny let that sink in a moment then added slowly, "No partner...no best friend. Do you think your dad would have wanted you to die and miss all that? When they would have killed him, too, anyway?"
Steve felt like he'd been sucker punched in the gut. He thought of his life ending that way, of missing so much, and his chest tightened in protest. He quickly rose from his chair and walked into the water for a few steps, staring at the catamaran as it sailed in large, lazy circles. Moments later, he sensed Danny beside him.
"Look," Danny said tentatively when Steve didn't respond to his presence. "There's a lot about this place I've griped about. I'll never get used to winter being pretty much the same as summer. All the damned Hawaiian shirts and nobody wearing a tie. I'll never adjust to pizza with pineapple. Hamburgers with pineapple. Hell, everything with pineapple!"
Steve felt a small lopsided grin sneak up on him. "You have made it abundantly clear that Hawaii isn't your idea of paradise."
"But it's not all bad. For instance, I do like surfing. And the rainbows. Grace loves seeing so many rainbows. She says they're everywhere here. I like the people. Nice people here, at least the ones who aren't murderers and drug dealers."
Danny's tone deepened and his words slowed. "And I like one word in particular. You used it a few minutes ago. Ohana…"
"Family?" Steve questioned.
"Yeah. The way I understand it, ohana is your blood family but it's also the family you choose for yourself. The ones you choose to love. You've lost most of your family, Steve. That's really terrible but you still have ohana. You still have all of us. You still have me. That's the another thing that really doesn't suck about being here, y'know? The friends I've made."
Danny took a deep breath. "I'd lost pretty much everything when I came here. I was just trying so desperately to hold on to Grace. She was all I had left, and I really wasn't sure if I could compete with all Stan could offer her. Rachel was doing her best to make my life miserable, and I've never felt so alone in my life. Then when I least expected it, I found my ohana with you and Five-O."
Danny kicked at the water, sending a sparkling splash upward. The droplets caught the light, breaking into a rainbow of color for an instant before plunging back into the ocean. Steve saw the effect and his heart lurched. Gracie was right. Rainbows were everywhere.
"I...I seriously don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come along, Steve. I was just treading water with the PD before you...how shall we say it...drafted me for your special task force. Bitter and miserable...living for weekends with Grace and very little else."
Steve kept his eyes glued to the waves lapping around their feet, too moved to risk looking directly at Danny. The rainbow was gone but its message lingered.
"You've affected a lot of people, my friend. What happened to your father was unbelievably horrible but you weren't to blame. It wasn't your fault! What you did was pretty amazing, really. You took that tragedy and brought something very good out of it. Five-0 has changed lives, including mine, for the better. It's brought some justice where it was most definitely needed. Even to the man who had your father murdered. You've done good, Steven."
Looking steadily up at his partner's profile, he added firmly, "Your father would be proud."
Those five words released the last of the weight from Steve's heart. His father would be proud. He really couldn't have prevented what happened. It wasn't his fault.
Steve drew a ragged breath as he reached over and caught Danny's neck in the crook of his arm, drawing him close for a quick sideways hug. "Thank you," he whispered. "Again…"
The sun was dropping low on the horizon, adding fiery strokes to the pastel palette of the sea. Steve realized he was hungry, ravenous really. Releasing his friend, he jerked his head toward the house. "You said something about steaks?"
Danny grinned broadly. "The best, Steven. Only the best!"
"You make the salad, and I'll fire up the grill. I think I have a pretty decent bottle of wine waiting for a special occasion." He assessed the approaching sunset. It should be a beauty. But then, weren't they all? This was paradise after all.
"And this is it? Your special occasion?" He heard the laughter in his best friend's voice and welcomed it.
They strolled casually toward the house. Steve slung one arm loosely over Danny's shoulders. "Yep. No more looking back. No more guilt. Seems pretty special to me."
Steve smiled down at Danny. "I think my dad would like that, too."
Finis...