A/N: I have read Half Blood Prince and I am debating with myself about using them. I'm most likely going to act as if I had not read it since I want Draco and Harry together and that won't be happening if Draco is evil and Dumbledore is dead. So…They won't be. Enjoy!
HP/JF Slash, HG/RW, HP/DM Slash.
A Diary of A Teenager
This story is completely diary entries. I'm going to be going between a few different people and I hope it doesn't get to confusing for anyone. It's mostly going to be Harry and Draco's diaries, but also I'm going to have Hermione and Ron and Remus. The last three are going to be scattered every once in a while when something major happens so that the reader can get it on a few different levels. This is my first shot at one of these types of stories so please don't hate me for my inexperience. I really am trying hard and good feedback is always welcome. Flamers please don't even review. If you really hate it, close the little box and read something else. But constructive criticism is always welcome, I could use some help with my ideas.
July 31st
Today of course is my birthday. I've been sitting here in bed, since the clock on my bedside table turned to midnight, staring at this blank diary. At the end of last year Hermione gave it to me telling me to write in it everyday, that it would help with all the feelings that I have bottled up. I don't know what she means, I have no emotions bottled up. I believe I show how I feel quite often. But she doesn't seem to see it that way. All summer I have avoided writing in here, but I gave into the temptation just now. And I have to say I am beginning to feel a lot better. Hermione is always right, I hate that about her. She is such a know-it-all. But you can't blame her, she thinks she is doing what is right for everyone, and a lot of the time she is right. Like right now. How does writing in a journal make you feel so much better? It's just a stupid book. I'll ask Remus about it later.
Remus. I've seen him carrying a journal a lot like this one now that I think about it. He probably helped Hermione pick it out. Rely on Moony to come up with something like this. He is almost as bad as Hermione. They both like to meddle in my life. Now that I think about it the whole wizarding world likes to meddle in my life. That's what I get for being the Savior of the Wizarding World. Golden Boy. The Boy Who Lived. How many other names have these people given me? It's depressing thinking that a whole race of witches and wizards, hags and vampires, giants and goblins all depend on me to save them. I'm only seventeen. And here I am expected to defeat the most hideous and evil person on the planet. I really don't know if I can do this…I know that I could never do it alone that is for sure. Which is why even though they try to control my life far to often, I need Remus and Hermione and every one else who is there on my side.
Speaking of my side. I can't wait for August 3rd. Dumbledore promised he would get me out of the Dursley's house. I've been counting down now since he sent the letter to me. Just three more days of pretending I do not even exist.
This summer has been the worst yet. Which I never would have thought was possible. But it is. Uncle Vernon has been down right degrading of me…in every way possible. Physically as well as emotionally. I'm use to his calling me a freak and putting down Hogwarts. But never has he actually hit me. Sure he's shoved me into my cupboard but I'm use to that. This has been different though. Threats on a daily basis, grabbing me and throwing me against things, hitting me and still that's not the worst. Even though I don't plan on having anyone read this I can't even bring myself to write what else he has done to me. It's too fresh in my mind.
I really do have to remind myself to thank Hermione for this.
Reminder: Thank HermioneThere that should work. I really am feeling a lot better then I have this summer. If only I could let out what Vernon has been doing that has made me feel like dirt. Lower then dirt. I feel like filth on the bottom of his work shoes. Why does he do it to me? Is it just another way for him to feel more powerful then me? Just another way of pointing out my abnormalities. That's what he has been calling it. Ever since he overheard me talking to Hermione about Justin and I, he's been doing this. You would think it would disgust him more, but no. He finds a sick humor in hurting me like this. I swear if I didn't know about Voldemort, I would have to say my Uncle is the most evil man in this damn country.
There I go again. This summer I've been so damn emotional. I wish Justin were here to hold me in his arms. I need him so much right now. But he will be there on Wednesday, he promised he would. Then I'll see him and actually have someone who cares about me. Sure I have Ron and Hermione but they care about me differently then Justin. Justin can get in touch with all my emotions. He makes me cry, he makes me laugh, he turns me on and makes me scream. Wow who would have guessed just thinking about the ways Justin can drive me crazy could make the world seem so much better. Maybe I do love him. Hermione told me so many times I was in love and that was why he always made things seem so much better. But I don't know. Is it possible for me to actually love? I never really thought about that. I mean I do love the Weasleys and Hermione, Hagrid and Remus and even Dumbledore, but they are like my family…
Family. Something I have never really truly had. Now I'm feeling self-pity. I am pathetic. I have the best people surrounding me. People who have always looked at me like I was family. And I am now feeling bad about myself? That's not right. I shouldn't be feeling this way. They are my family. All of them, they would do anything, and they do, do everything to make me happy. I should be more gracious.
I just looked at the clock and the little red numbers are flashing 3:00A.M. I think I am going to finally try to get some rest. Just three more days.
Days left until I leave: 3