She had been thinking a lot lately…about the future, her future. What was there at the end of the world? Could she really ever love someone, knowing that one day they would die and leave her heartbroken? Was she going to spend forever alone? She couldn't possibly know the answers to these questions but she knew one thing was certain, if it were possible to die of loneliness, she would without a doubt.
As she stared at the winding road in front of her, she let her mind wonder. As images of her past, her family, and friends filled her head she felt the tears welling up inside of her. She had left her family in fear of hurting them again. It was the hardest decision she had ever made yet, it was the one that she needed to. Blinking ferociously, in an attempt to hold back the ever growing wall of water in her eyes, she turned her head back to the road, back to emptiness that was her life.
****
He was looking out the window of his penthouse in the heart of Chicago. The lights of the various buildings and vehicles below created a rather splendid display. It had been seven years, today. He had survived and, believe it or not, found peace and tranquility in his new life. As he turned his back to the window, something caught his eyes. This object often grasped his attention when he least expected it. He walked over to the table by the door and picked up the broken watch. As he looked into its face, he saw his own demon look back. Was there anything in this life that he could do to make up for all the wrong he had done? Were second chances a reality? Could he even stand to spend eternity with himself?
He walked back to the window, trying very hard to keep himself together. He had severed every tie he had in his life. He had done so much wrong to so many people. As hard as he tried, he couldn't get their faces out of his mind. They were forever engraved in his memory. He was ALONE.
****
For what seemed like forever, she continued to stare out the windshield, blocking her mind from the thoughts and images that so badly wanted to take her under. She switched on the radio of the car and began to lose herself in the smooth guitar chords that sounded more like a lullaby than a modern rock song. As the lyrics became present in conjunction with the melody, she began to regret turning the radio on at all.
****
This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know
You know, you know
That I love you, I have loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
****
He came to the conclusion that it was entirely too quiet in this vast "home" of his. He walked over to the night stand on the right side of his bed and switched on the radio. To his surprise he knew the song that was playing and didn't mind it. He often hated modern music, preferring the classics to the mumbling mushiness that was music today. As he listened he shut his eyes and let himself get lost in the meaning of the lyrics.
****
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you I'd withstand
All of it to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know
You know, you know
That I love you, I have loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
****
She started to cry again, harder than most times. The sobs took over her as she pulled her car to the side of the abandoned road. She couldn't go on like this, couldn't keep suffering. What had she ever done to deserve this? The song brought everything back to her; the feelings of loss and of love. She knew there was something she had to do…after she stopped crying.
****
So far away, been far away for far too long
So far away, been far away for far too long
But you know
You know, you know
****
This song hit him, like a truck. He wanted to change more than anything. He wanted to be able to say "I love you" and have another human repeat the words, and mean them. He knew he could change, he was trying but it wasn't enough. It was never enough.
****
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
****
She gathered herself, holding back the tears long enough to turn on the light imbedded in the ceiling. She fumbled through her purse until she found her cell phone. It had been quite a while since she used it. If she needed to call someone, she used a payphone but this was important and it could not wait.
****
I love you, I have loved you all along
And I forgive you for being away for far too long
So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go
****
It finally dawned on him, why he had changed. He didn't want to be alone, unloved, and hated by all who knew him. He had to make amends, starting with his victim. He took four large strides to the resting place of his "home" phone. He was nervous and worried but this had to be done.
****
Keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me, never let me go
Hold on to me, never let me go
Hold on to me, never let me go
****
She punched the numbers into her phone. She paused for a moment, her thumb hovering over the talk key. Is this right? Should I do this? Just as she was about to press the button her phone began to ring. She flipped it open.
"Claire?" The man on the other line asked.
"Sylar? I was just about to-"
Sylar cut her off. "I know. Listen, we need to talk."
"Yeah, I know we do."
"Can you come to Chicago?"
"Of course." Claire paused making sure she controlled what was coming out of her mouth. "Gabriel," she added "I forgive you."
"I'm so sorry Claire."
And he meant it.