Chapter One
Barry knew something was wrong the second he entered S.T.A.R. Labs. One moment he was sauntering into the room feeling pretty good about the thieves he had apprehended and the fact that he had eluded Eddie's task force, the next his smile dropped as he surveyed the scene.
Caitlin was on the phone, and looked on the verge of tears. Cisco and Dr. Wells were both standing at attention (well, Cisco was, Dr. Wells was leaning forward in his wheelchair) as if awaiting a heavy verdict. Barry looked from one to the other and moved closer to Caitlin as well. He leaned towards Cisco for information, and being the fount of information he usually was, Cisco immediately obliged.
"Caitlin called Felicity to ask if the DNA results she sent were helpful." He muttered in a low tone. "I don't know what's going on but it sounds very bad."
"I'm so sorry." Caitlin tried to control her wavering voice as she spoke. "What will you do…Of course, of course. Please call us if there is anything we can do from here. Okay. Okay. Bye." Caitlin hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. The men waited in suspense. For two of them it felt like several seconds. To Barry it felt like a year.
Caitlin took a deep breath and looked at them. "That was Felicity" she said unnecessarily "and…umm…Oliver is dead." The tears finally spilled over as the men stood in horror. Cisco looked like he might vomit, Barry could only stare at her with his mouth open. Even Dr. Wells looked disturbed, his brows knitted together and his jaw set.
"But-" Barry began. "But that's not possible. We were just there. How…who?"
Caitlin shook her head. "She wouldn't say much about it. They are trying to keep it quiet. The last thing Starling City needs for every criminal to know that The Arrow is dead. But they're pretty sure."
Barry shook his head slowly. It couldn't be. It just couldn't. His hands went to his head, pressing in on both sides. Oliver was the ultimate survivor. There was no way. He could never… He swallowed hard and headed for the door. "I have to go." He muttered as he started running. For all he knew they didn't even hear him, he took off so fast.
He ran. He ran as fast as he could, trying to outrun the truth. It was lucky he still had his suit on, or his clothes would have burned off in seconds. Windows exploded as he raced down the street. The shattering noise and shards of broken glass echoed his own mindset so perfectly right then that he wasn't even sure if it was the glass he was hearing or just his own world fracturing. He cleared the city limits in minutes and was halfway to Starling City before he even realized where he was headed. Part of him wanted to keep going, to get to Felicity as fast as possible. What she must be going through right now… He knew how she felt about Oliver, had known it for such a long time now. She had to be devastated.
But the other part of him, the one that was still trying to keep the screaming from bursting out of his throat knew that he would be no good to her right now. He was just trying to deal with this news himself. He was neck deep in his own grief and couldn't be a capable shoulder to cry on. Not right now. Not while his shoulders carried such weight. The best he could do was let Diggle and Roy be there for her right now, and hope they were up to the job. Please let them be up to the job….
Memories and emotions flowed freely, sliding past him on the wind. "You can inspire people in a way I never could." "I'm trading away little pieces of myself..." "It means I have some humanity left." God, what would they do now? Would Roy be able to keep going, by himself? What would Diggle do? How could this happen? He could barely even accept that Oliver was gone. Oliver was always there. Stubborn, brutally honest, tough. He had cheated death so many times Barry had grown comfortable in the idea that Oliver would always come out on top. "I have been doing this for almost 8 years now, and I am still alive. Wasn't it just weeks ago that the team had visited Central City? "You can always talk to me." Even less time had passed since he had been in Starling City and helped Oliver take down Captain Boomerang. Oliver had built a case for Barry's suit. "For the next time you're in town." Barry was sure Oliver had not realized just how incredibly happy that had made him. And their sparring afterward had been the icing on the cake. "I get it Barry, I get it. You're fast." He ran even faster. Tears burned his eyes and blew past his face.
He didn't go to Starling City. He ran back to Central City and raced around it for a while. He turned his comm off. He couldn't imagine talking to his team right now. Not right now. But he needed to talk. It needed to get out of him, this pain. He thought about talking to his dad, but that was probably not a good idea. His clothes were definitely wrong and his dad had no idea about his powers, much less that he was a friend with the Starling City vigilante. Joe? Joe had called The Arrow a crazy man. Granted, after Oliver's invaluable help while Barry had been whammied his stance on that opinion had changed a bit. But Barry still couldn't imagine trying to talk to him right now. He felt like time had reversed, and he was once again that child who couldn't talk to anyone about what had really happened to his mother, because no one had believed him.
Actually, one person had believed him. Had always believed him. In him. Until recently. Without even realizing it, he changed course and headed towards downtown Central City.