She was drunk. So, so drunk. And kind of on the pathetic side, too.
"Fuck you, asshole-face-man!" she yelped as she slowly tumbled off her bar stool, pointing at no one in particular.
"Hey, Bella, maybe it's time for a cup of wawa?" I suggested in the voice I used with my first graders.
"Wawa." She snorted, her eyes closed as she felt her way back onto her stool. "Fucking Helen Keller and that book that we read..."
"The Miracle Worker," I reminded her.
"Yeah, that," she mumbled, her face cradled in her palms. Then she sniffed. Fuck, was she crying? "It's such a beautiful story!"
I rubbed her back. "Yeah, it really is."
"Edward?" she asked as the bartender shot me a glare as he placed a glass of water in front of her.
"Yeah?"
"Am I ugly?"
"No, hell no!" I exclaimed, surprised at the sudden turn of conversation.
"Then why'd Jake cheat on me?" she blubbered. She pulled her shirt down so that she'd be giving a nip slip if it wasn't for the sexy, lacy bra she had on. "I'm hot." She snorted. "I'm hot, I'm everything she's not, I'm cool, I dominate this school."
"Did you just bring it on?" I asked with a smirk.
"Oh, I can bring it on," she continued with a serious nod. "If there's one thing I'm good at, it's sex."
"Is that right?" She was going to hate me tomorrow.
"Fucking rights it is," she said, pointing at me, but because of her lack of depth perception, she actually shoved her finger in my mouth and twirled it around a bit. "I could make that little fucker scream like a little girl I was so good at sex." She sighed. "He could make me scream pretty good, too." The tears started again. "God, I'm probably never going to have sex again! If Jake didn't even want me, who would ever want me?"
"Oh, Christ, here we go again," I mumbled under my breath, grabbing my debit card and waving the bartender over so I could pay her tab and get her home.
"Would you fuck me?" Bella asked some random man. He was in shock at the question and didn't answer. "See, Edward! That guy won't fuck me! No one will ever fuck me again."
"We'll invest in a vibrator, then," I assured her as I punched my pin number in. "I don't need a receipt, thanks."
"No problem," the bartender replied. "Have fun with her."
I rolled my eyes. "The fun never ends with this one."
"I can tell," he chuckled. "See y'all later."
"Come on now, Bella, time to go home and cry in your own home with no one watching," I told her as I grabbed her bicep and proceeded to drag her out of the bar.
"I don't have to work in the morning, do I?" Bella asked as I buckled her seatbelt in my car.
"No, tomorrow is Sunday," I reminded her. "You only work Monday to Friday, eight 'til five."
"Right," she replied quietly. "And you work Monday 'til Saturday all hours of the fucking day." She snort-laughed. "Fucking loser."
I chuckled. "I make a hell of a lot more than you, though."
"Not in cool points," she argued. She started digging around the back seat for God only knows what. "Hey! These are Bree's Easter eggs from yesterday!"
"They sure are."
"Why are they here?"
"Well, I picked you up from your dad's place on Friday night and brought you home, and it's been a drinking binge since then."
"Right, from when I found Jake in bed with that girl."
"Right."
She stared at the three cartons of painted eggs in her hands. "Let's go to Jake's and throw these at his house and car."
I laughed, but she didn't laugh with me. "Seriously, Bella? It's, like, 2:30 in the morning. He'll be at home."
"Fucking good," she sassed. "I want to have words with that POS."
I shook my head but started to head in that direction. "Whatever you say, there slugger."
We got to her ex-boyfriend's house and she stumbled out of my car onto the front lawn and set her eggs down carefully before bending down and grabbing a handful of them. Her aim was off and the strength was there, but she sure had fun.
Finally, after a carton and a half, an egg hit the house instead of the walkway to his front door.
"Now and then I think of when we were together and how you said you were so happy that you could die!" she screamed as she continued to hit the same window over and over again.
"Fucking Goyte," she mumbled, because I knew she didn't know all the words. "Now you're just somebody that I used to know!"
"What the fuck?"
Looked like Jake had finally woken up to his ex-girlfriend serenading him.
"Bella?" he asked, still rubbing his eyes. "What the fuck are you doing?"
"Egging your house, jerk-off!" she replied, humming an egg at him, hitting him in the chest.
"Listen, I know I fucked up, but is this really necessary?" he asked, stepping closer to her. Idiot.
"Maybe, maybe not, but it's making me feel a hundred times better," she said, throwing another egg at him, this time hitting his forehead.
"Edward, can you take her home?" he begged.
I shook my head and smiled. "Your fault, dude. I'm just the chauffeur."
He huffed. "Bella, baby, can you just go home and sleep it off? We'll talk in the morning. I've been phoning you non-stop since you left last night."
"Yeah, after the fifth call, she put her phone in the stove, grabbed a beer, and we left her house to start this shitshow."
"How long has she been at it?" he asked in shock.
"Since she left your place last night," I replied with a shrug. She phoned me around ten last night and she passed out for a couple of hours this morning, but she hasn't sobered up since then."
"Wow..." Bella smashed an egg over his head.
"Shit, we're out of eggs," she mumbled. "Let's go, Edward. He's just somebody that I used to know. Hasta la vista, moth'a fuck'a!" She giggled and ran back to my car.
"Good look getting the egg out!" I called as I jogged after her.
She passed out on the way home, thank God. I tucked her in at her place and slept on the couch. At seven the next morning, she was still passed out, so I was pretty sure that the binge was over.
She texted me at noon. "Why do I feel like death?"
"Maybe it was the 28 hour drinking binge," I texted back.
"Or maybe it's because you egged your ex's house at 3 AM while singing 'somebody that I used to know' by goyte."
"Wtf is wrong with me..."
"Nothing, my dear. Nothing at all."
Inspired by a text from last night... "You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to know'." That was all I got from Twitter, and I went with it, lol.
So, basically I suck at WIP's. Either I write the whole story ahead of time (which is definitely not happening for me right now) or I just post random little one-shots that may or may not be continued later on...
I have a good feeling about this little guy. So much potential. :) Now, if I were only done school... Two and three quarters more semesters...