Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis

Summary: McKay argues about the English language. (Sorry it's not better)

"Guys its ZPM, pronounced ZED PM not ZEE PM."

Ronon tilted his head, "But Shep-"

McKay snorted, "Sheppard has a rather one sided point of view."

"I do not think so. The rest of the base says ZEE." Teyla reasoned.

"That's because they are American! Carson, Grodin and heck, anyone NOT American will say ZED."

"Yeah, but we're normal." A calm drawl said as he Sheppard came slinking into the rec room.

McKay rose an eyebrow, "Uh huh, I'm sure the under appreciated 'u' is liking that. 'Valor', 'color'. Dear God, its colour! It sounds different and just not right without a 'u; there!"

Sheppard chuckled slightly, "McKay, I think you're over reacting. Calm down, anyway, I think they have fries in the-"

Sheppard was cut off as McKay let out a slightly strangled shriek, "Chips! They are chips!"

"No, I'm pretty sure they're fries…" Sheppard muttered slightly confused.

"Fries are chips and chips are crisps!" McKay all but screamed.

Sheppard tilted his head at the Canadian, "What are crisps?" He asked.

"Oh, please, now you're just being obtuse!"

Sheppard sighed deeply, "Okay, McKay, I'm thinking you need a vacation."

"No! What I need is a holiday!" McKay said. "I need a holiday, with normal people who speak normally and are all on holiday's not vacation's!"

Now Sheppard was losing his cool, "Come on McKay, calm down, just because American's speak slightly different-"

"You expect everyone else to talk your way as well! If we don't you laugh and make us sit in the corners." McKay told him, then he used his arms, "Its America," He said make a small cardboard box thing with his hands, and then he did a big circle almost spinning round, "then the rest of the world!"

"Now you're just being silly." Sheppard said.

McKay laughed, "Me? Silly? Ha! I'm just saying what everyone non-American is thinking!"

Sheppard put his arms on the aggravated scientist's shoulders, "McKay, how about we go get some pudding?"

"Dessert!"

"Why would I want to go to the desert?"

By this time Ronon and Teyla had been thoroughly freaked out and were slowly backing away from the room, "We'll be going…I have to umm…spar." Ronon said.

Teyla looked out as Ronon left, "I'll make sure he doesn't kill anyone." She said following him.

"Now look what you've done, you've scared Ronon and Teyla away!" Sheppard scolded, "What would your mother say?"

"My mum would say well done, it's always good when you make grown men cry."

"You have a scary mom then!"

"For the love of all that is good, it's mummy, not mommy!"

Sheppard once again confused, "Why would you want a bandaged wrapped corpse?"

McKay, at the end of his tether, stomped his foot and left the room, "I'm going to put in for leave, I need a holiday…and a good pint, and oh I could murder a curry or maybe fish and chips…I hope there isn't a line in the cafeteria…I don't want to queue."

Sheppard confused by everything McKay had said, just stood and looked at the floor dumfounded before muttering, "What's a queue?"

So, basically, I was thinking of writing this, then my computer started annoying me with it's constant's attempts to correct 'colour' and 'favourite', then I watched an interview in which David Hewlett completely slagged of American's for not saying zed and making fun of him because he himself says zed and basically it was funny, so I wrote this :D

Hope you like!

xXxrouxXx