A/N: This is the re-write of Chapter One! I have renamed the story and I am in the process of editing the other chapters!

I have changed Finn to Jesse as most of the reviewers said that's who they wanted.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

The summer before her junior year Rachel Berry thinks she has it all. She has the guy of her dreams on her arm, a professional vocal coach, and a grueling dance instructor-one that could rival Coach Sylvester when it came to perfection during rehearsals. She has to keep everything up to par because in 2 short years she will be off to New York City, pursuing her dreams of being on a Broadway stage. She can't very well just sit around and let her vocal chords go unattended, there's so much work to be done if she was going to make it big. It's been a great summer so far, Jesse always takes her out at least 4 times a week, if her lessons allow. Once he took her to the park and serenaded her with a cover of The Doors Hello, I Love You. Her favorite lyrics always hint at how beautiful he thinks she is and who much he loves her. She's not used to hearing it much with Jesse being only her second real boyfriend, after Finn, but every time he says it, she gets butterflies in her stomach.

She holds her head so high

Like a statue in the sky

Her arms are wicked, and her legs are long

When she moves my brain screams out this song

He looks at her with so much love in his eyes it makes her smile the million-dollar smile she's so famously known for. Unfortunately for others who can't tell the difference, it's her show face, the one she uses when she's acting. The one she's spent months perfecting to keep her secret. Life is always perfect for Rachel. Perfect family-although she has two gay fathers, perfect house with the perfect daughter who makes perfect grades. It's all perfect; her life can't get any better now that she has the perfect boyfriend to top everything off. Until the 4th of July party she attends with Jesse and shesees his true colors for the first time.

He is drinking of course and had gotten up from his seat on the couch they shared to go refill his cup. She doesn't condone drinking and she never will. Ever since that incident last year at her house and the performance they gave the next day, she hasn't touched alcohol. She swears she can still smell Brittany's vomit in her hair and she gags at the fainted hint of it in the air. She's sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for him to return. Parties are not really her type of thing, she'd much rather be watching Funny Girl with her dads in the Oscar room. She taps her fingers nervously while she waits and wrinkles her nose as she watches her colleagues drunkenly grinding against each other and make out. She doesn't understand why they find this appealing, it's degrading to her and she wished Jesse would hurry up.

She's sipping from the bottle of water she brings with her when a footballer from a different school approaches her. She can tell by the letterman jacket he wears, which now reeked of booze that he's an upperclassman, probably the quarterback if his size indicated anything. He sits next to her and tosses his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close to his large frame.

"I'm sorry do I know you?" Rachel asks slightly irritated that he's so forceful.

"No baby, but I know how we can get to know each other," he leers, leaning in to whisper in her ear. She starts to lean away from him in an attempt to get up from the couch when he holds her down with the arm he had tightly around her shoulders.

"I have a boyfriend, I'm going to have to ask you to remove your limb from my shoulders please," she states proudly, she loves the way the word 'boyfriend' falls from her lips and she smiles softly before trying to remove his arm from her shoulders, more forcefully this time.

Across the room in the kitchens doorway stands Jesse. He has his back to them, so he can't see her face or hear what she's saying to this guy. All he sees when he turns around is Rachel grabbing the guys arm. He thinks she's enjoying the jocks arm around her and that's when he looses it.

Walking up to them he grabs her and leads her out of the noisy house party and to his Excursion.

"Drive." he spits at her pushing her to the driver's side before walking around to the passenger side and getting in. She's still confused and shocked at his sudden outburst, she was only defending him after all. She shots him one last confused glance beforegetting in and hesitantly starting the car.

"Where are we going Jesse?" she questions as she pulls off the curb and onto the street.

"Your house" he says tightly. "Are you really that dumb Rach?" he knows that her fathers are out of town this weekend, not that they were in town often anyways.

"O-Ok, what has you so angered?" she stutters, looking over at him at a stop sign, she sighs and shakes her head when she gets no answer. This is another reason she hates alcohol, it prevents people from making clear decisions and lowers their inhibitions. She can tell it's going to be a long night with Jesse.

She's barely pulled into her driveway when he throws his door open, gets out, and slams it shut. She follows him to her door, unlocking it and leading him inside. She frowns when he stomps behind her, making it a point to show that he's angry with her. She honestly has no idea what is wrong with him and she refuses to try and reason with him while he's intoxicated. She can already feel a headache coming on and she wants nothing more than to curl into her comforter with a hot cup of herbal tea.

She jumps when he slams her front door shut and narrows her eyes as he walks on her pristine carpet with his muddy shoes. She's just about to scold him for not respecting her property when she's met with a harsh and rather surprising slap to the face. She falls to the ground and holds her stinging cheek, looking up at Jesse with tears in her eyes.

"W-what was that for?" she nearly sobs. She wants to cry so badly, her cheek is burning and she can practically feel the bruise forming on her delicate skin, but if her daddies taught her anything it's that she has to stay strong. Crying was showing weakness and she would not let Jesse over power her in his drunken stage. She pulls herself onto shaking legs and looks into his dark eyes, still cradling her injured face.

"You don't think that I didn't see you flirting with that douche?" he yells, slamming her against the wall next to the door. "Did you think I wouldn't catch you flirting with someone else Rachel? How could you do that to me? How could you let him touch you like that? Don't you love me?" he screams as his fist makes contact with her upper torso.

She gasps and hunches over, yelling out as the pain spreads throughout her entire middle section. Tears burn at the backs of her eyes, threatening to spill over. She has to stay strong; she can't let him see her cry like this. He's not himself right now, she reasons. It's the alcohol that making him this way. Jesse would never hurt her, he loves her and she loves him. This isn't real, this isn't her Jesse. Her Jesse would know that she wasn't flirting, her Jesse would trust her and never question her actions when it came to other guys because their love was special and nothing could tarnish it. Her Jesse would understand.

"Excuse me, I was certainly not flirting with him Jesse. He was trying to get me to sleep with him and even after I told him about you, he wouldn't let me go" she panted, her eyes squeezed shut in pain and she hugged her abdomen tightly. "I was trying to remove his arm from around me, I didn't want him touching me, I don't want anyone touching me but you, Jesse!" she yells once she's regained her breath. She knew that going to this party was a mistake; she's ashamed that she's even in this position. That she's letting her boyfriend abuse her because he's feeling a little insecure. She's stronger than that, she wants to tell him to leave but she can't. She needs him here while her dads are away, she hates being in this huge house alone and she loves it when he holds her at night. He makes her feel so safe and warm.

He doesn't buy her excuse and his fist hits her again, sending a loud crack through the air as it slams into her jaw. She falls backwards again, this time hitting her head against the tiled floor of the foyer they were still standing in. She holds her face in her hands, feeling her now split lip swell quickly as if it were going to burst. She looks down at the blood on her hands and whimpers before looking up at him with a horrified expression, silently begging him to stop.

"Shut the fuck up! I know you liked it!" he says, hovering over her, "Anyone that gives you the slightest attention you run to it like you need it to live!" he spits in her face. "Pathetic little Rachel, nobody loves you but me, understand?" has asks as she nods her head. "You're mine, no one else gets to have you but me. No one else wants you, but me! Look at you, you're disgusting! You have no friends, Rachel. Your own dads can't stand to be around you, that's why they're gone so much" he yells.

He glares at her in disgust before finally standing back up and walking upstairs to her bedroom,

"Are you coming?" he screams back down to her. She's still lying on the floor stuck in a state of shock over what's just happened. She jumps as she hears him from upstairs. She quickly gets to her feet and stumbles up to him, wincing as he body moves through the pain.

He's already under the covers of her bed half asleep when she makes it upstairs. Her entire body aches and she's hurt that her boyfriend's acting this way. She knows it will not happen again, he loves her and he was just too drunk to realize what he did. She knows she he'll forget this by morning and that they can pretend it didn't happen. She needs Jesse in her life, he's the only thing she has. He was right when he said she was disgusting. She's a loser and she has no friends. She's a freak and everyone knows it. No one wants her but Jesse, no one appreciates her the way he does. No one ever compliments her voice or applauds her solos, they always bring her down and try to break her. Jesse never did, he always tells her how talented she is and how she'll be a star. He's her biggest fan and her number one supporter next to her dads when their home.

She toes off her shoes, and slowly makes her way into her en suite bathroom to change. She looks up into the mirror and suppresses a sob when she sees the reflection. She lightly touches her bloody lip and grabs a towel to clean the wound. She can already see the bruises starting to show.

Leaving the bathroom she climbs into her bed and turns to face away from Jesse. It's not his fault he got angry, it's hers. She's a selfish diva who no one will ever want. She's ugly and stupid and it's all her fault. She wants to be a better girlfriend, Jesse deserves a better girlfriend.

That particular event had occurred almost three months ago. She has now become a perfectionist when it comes to covering her scars and bruises. Using tattoo makeup to hide the bruises and lots of concealer for her face, she looks like a normal happy teen. Her fathers don't have a clue what's going on, not that she tells them everything anyway. Jesse has already threatened her and she knows she can't tell anyone. In one summer she went from the most annoying, headstrong, and determined lead vocalist in New Directions to a scared shell of herself. She continues to attend her dance and vocal lessons and she gives her all. She smiles through the black eyes and bruised ribs and she laughs despite the constant pain she's in. She's determined to make it big and with all her hard work, she knows it'll happen. She wakes up every morning and plasters on her show face and acts her way through the day. She already has the lies formulated, so when someone asks her why she's wearing a long sleeve top in the middle of May she won't look stupid. Playing the role of Jesse St. James's girlfriend/punching bag is her most challenging role yet, and she intends on acting the part perfectly.

She never goes out without Jesse by her side. If she does it's with Kurt, who he knows is gay and will not hit on her. It's the only reason he allows her to go with him.

Since Jesse had insisted on spending every night at her house when her fathers were gone, they hosted many Gleek parties/sleepovers. The girls were the only ones allowed to stay the night though, he didn't trust Rachel. She was a greedy little slut who would probably fuck his best friend if given the chance.

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Puck's summer is amazing so far. His pool cleaning business is going great and he's banging cougars left and right. He gets shitfaced almost every weekend because he can and goes to most of the "Gleek" parties that Berry and St. Jackass host at her house. All in all it's a pretty fucking awesome summer!

It's at one of these so called "parties" that he notices something different about the hot little brunette. Her studies her hard before realizing she's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt instead of her normal short as fuck plaid skirts and animal sweaters. Not that she didn't doesn't rock this new look because she totally does. Her ass looks amazing in those tight jeans and her sweater's exposing cleavage he didn't know existed, but it just isn't… Berry. It catches him off guard to see her wearing this, so he worriedly asks Finn if she's okay.

The tall boy only mumbles something about changing up her style and making her closet bigger before walking away to get another beer. Puck has no idea what that means, but he does know that something is going on with Berry. Whatever he shrugs, she's not his so he doesn't care. Only he does care, and he wants her to be his and he can't shake the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach when he sees Rachel limping the next day.

The week before school starts, the gleeks meet up at Breadstix for lunch. Everyone is there laughing and having a good time but Rachel.

"Yo anyone seen Berry?" Puck asks, making it seem as if he doesn't care where the fuck she is. It's not like her to not come out with her "friends" if they could be called that.

Everyone mumbles and shrugs that they don't know. Puck notices that Finn and Quinn have become really close over the last few weeks. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head before jumping in on Brittney, Santana, Artie, and Matt's argument over the best Michael Jackson song.

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She stays home from the lunch with the rest of the glee club today. She has fresh bruises from last night because she didn't make Jesses' dinner right and she can barely walk without a noticeable limp. She worked really hard on that dinner and he just threw the food on the ground, after he had thrown her on the ground and kicked her a few times, demanding take-out since she apparently 'can't cook for shit'.

She's become an expert with hiding the marks, but her bloody nose is just too much to cover and she can't hide it. It swollen and purple and no matter how hard she tries, she can't help but stare at it. It's the part she hates the most about her body and it hurt that he's stooped so low and found new ways to torture her. He knew she wanted to have lunch with the gleeks; it was her chance to prove that she really belonged, her chance to prove she was worth something and has the potential to be their friends. She was desperate for them to like her.

Plugging her iPod into its dock, she turns on Stone Sour's Made of Scars. She found the lyrics online somewhere and can relate completely.

Yeah, Cut right into me
Yeah, I am made of scars
Yes, I am made of scars

God, Don't you believe it

This isn't what her 'normal' genre choices consisted of, but she has acquired a somewhat new music choice as of late. She runs a bath before getting out the hand cloth from under the sink that has her razor wrapped in it. She lifts her pajama shorts up to where she had various other scars and makes the first cut of the night. She breathes deeply as she feels the rush of pain wash over her body, it feels amazing.

She starts cutting two weeks after Jesse hit her. It's the only pain she can control in her life. With this, she has a say in who gets to hurt her. No one controls her, but herself when she cuts. She's free of Jesse, she's free of her continually absent fathers, and she free from all the bullies at school. After making 4 slices on her upper thigh she gets the bleeding to stop and sinks into the bath water. She hisses as the water makes contact with her open wounds, but relaxes as the nice hot water dulls.

The tears she lets silently let fall down her battered face are not from pain, but from sadness. When had she let herself become a victim? When did she let someone dictate her life? When did she let a man hit her? She knows the answer to these questions; it's the night that she and Jesse got in another fight, the first of many this year. After beating her to a pulp, he crouches low to her and whispers darkly in her ear, "No one likes you Rach, not even your precious Glee club. They only tolerate you, I'm the only one who can even stand to be around you." With that he stood up and left her in her room to go play Xbox in her father's den.

After spending half an hour in her now cold bath, she gets up dries off, and crawls into bed. "Tonight's a good night" she thinks to herself, Jesse couldn't come over, his mom demanded he stay home the 3 days before school to get back in habit of sleeping in his own bed. Cassadra didn't like the idea of her teenage son spending so much time unsupervised with his girlfriend, but when she found out the girl's parents were gone for most of the summer she practically insisted that Jesse stay with her.

Rachel's dads were finally coming home. They always make time to stay home the first week of school to hear about her new classes. They only comment once on her new wardrobe choices, claiming that the new attire made her look more grown up and more sophisticated. She remembers the first time they see her that skirts had been thrown in a box in her closet, she laughs at the compliments they gave her. Not to their faces of course, but after they had gone to dinner she sits and laughs at them. They have no clue what's really going on in their daughter's life, nor do they seem concerned.

The night before school starts, she kisses Jesse goodnight on her porch as he gives her a final warning. Leaning down to her ear he whispers, "You better not even think about telling anyone about the real reason you stopped wearing skirts. If you do, next week will be hell, I know your dads are leaving next Monday. Don't make me hurt you again Rachy." With that he kisses her forehead, and leaves her standing on her porch alone and scared.

So how did you guys like it? I know not much has changed and I think it will change more as the story progresses.

Im changing the update day for this story to either Wednesday or Friday, which would you rather have it?

Please check out my other story They Saved Me, its a Grey's Anatomy fic but I think you guys might like it!

Please leave some reviews, ideas and constructive criticism, please no flames. I have had enough to last me a lifer time with my other story!

Thank you!

Jacque :)