There's something wrong with Relena
By Maraih Kechum
Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? U'know I don't own 'um!!!
Chapter 1: Maybe it's a virus. . .
Relena looked up at her door, deciding weather or not she should answer it. Finally the angry pounding became too much to bear and she opened the door to see a very angry Wufei standing there.
"You weak woman! You can't even remember the peace conference you said that you spent so much effort into getting to occur! NO one should have to suffer with the likes of you! WEAK WOMAN!" Wufei howled. "Get going!"
She stared coolly at Wufei. "You done?" she asked. " 'Cuse if you're not I'm going to ask you to leave."
"Get going, NOW!!!"
"Read my lips, NO!! I DON'T WANT TO!!!!"
Wufei got up, ready to physically drag her out if necessary. As he reached out to do just that, Relena punched him in the face. As his brain tried to register the fact that she, not any one else, had punched him, her foot connected with the side of his head. She landed numerous punches on his face, stomach, back, and chest, before he gathered his wits enough to retaliate. He reached for his gun, but his hand never quite got there. Instead, Relena struck Wufei's ears at the same time, so that the pressure equalized. Then she hit his head with the base of her palm, and Wufei hit the ground. She dragged the unconscious solder to the door by the scruff of the neck , opened it, and dumped him unceremoniously on the ground where Duo was watching. She swore a blue streak and told him to never enter her room again without her permission, or else. Duo meekly dragged off Wufei to find out what he did to Relena.
*******************
Wufei slowly came to. Heero was towering over him, scowling as usual.
"What did you do?"
"What do you mean?!"
"What did you do to Relena? She attacked you. She believes in nonviolence, remember?"
"I didn't do anything!!!" snarled Wufei.
"So, you didn't do any thing, huh? She came up and beat the snot out of you just because she decided that she doesn't like your face?" Asked Duo. "She was swearing up a storm when she kicked you out of her room, and you say you didn't do anything. Pardon me if I'm somewhat sceptical. . ."
"You question my honor?!!!" Wufei tried to stand, without a lot of success.
Quatre stood between them "That's not what he meant. . ."
"Well, in any case, I'd better find out what's wrong," muttered Heero
***
Heero banged on Relena's door, hard.
"DAMN YOU! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He was slightly pissed.
Relena had refused to acknowledge him, for once. This only further convinced him that something was wrong; up until recently she would have NEVER ignored him. There was something really wrong here.
"Relena, you have until the count of three to open this door! ONE!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!! "
He ripped open the door. Relena was sitting on the bed, looking straight at him. Her eyes flashed with anger. The space around her glowed a startling pink, and her hair stood on end. She let out and outraged cry, and suddenly Heero was flung up against the wall, and Relena had never touched him. As darkness began to overtake him a thought ran through his head, one that probably belonged in Duo's head, not his. Never the less he thought it, even as he became disgusted with himself for thinking it.
'Gee, maybe it's that time of month. . .'
******************
Heero lost consciousness. Relena grabbed his wrists and dragged him into her room. She tyed a bandanna over his mouth and used duct tape to bind his legs and arms together. Then she tyed his hands to his feet and the rest of his arms to his back, untill he looked a little bit like a mummy. She had searched him before, and now she looked over the things she had removed from him and set on her dresser.
"Let's see. . . gun, gun, knife, bomb, gun, knife, scotch tape, a few jelly beans, a big knife, a reloading cartrage, bullits. . . a lot of bullits, sniper rifle, dagger, the keys to a car, some money, a camera, sinide, peper spray, . . .oh! Here they are!!"
She grabbed the handcuffs and hooked one on Heero's wrist, then covered it with more tape. She grinned, tying a blue ribbon around his neck. Then Relena hooked the other cuff to the leg of her bed, and grinned, shoveing Heero under. She packed dirty clothes around him to muffle any sounds he made.
She grabed a bag and filled it with things she would need, some of which she had been saving for months. She kicked off her shoes, sense they would make a lot of noise, and stealth was a nesseity. She picked up the majority of the contences of Heero's pockits and dumped them in her bag. Then she wet a sponge and soacked the wall where Heero's head had hit his head. She dragged a 'WET PAINT' sign over to where his head had left a dent. Then Relena walked back in and gave an apologitic shrug toward the bed. Then she locked the door and left the room. She gave one last look twoard the room; she knew that she would probbly not see it for a long time- or if things went according to plan, never again. No matter. She walked casualy down the hallway. She knew that all the things she had done would not hold Heero for long. It wasn't suppost to. She was simply was tryng to by herself time. She grinned, hurring down the hallway.
She stoped at a perticular corner, momentarly putting down the bag. Glancing around to be sure that she and her target were alone, she reached around to the solider she knew was garding the door. She made a quick, chopping motion with her hand that landed on the base of his neck. He colapsed. She caught him and dragged him to a nearby side room. There she striped him to boxers and donned his clothes, and dressed him in hers. The solider was a compulsve lier and a known cross-dresser, and the more confusion, the better. She quickly braded her hair and pulled a beer bottle out from the corner of the room. After she pored the entire bottle on him, she put the empty bottle in his hand. She pulled his cap low over her eyes to make herself less femine,( she had already wraped an Ace bandage around her chest to make it flat ) and stuffed her hair up in it. Then she picked up the bag and left the room.
Relena walked for a long time around the hallways, waiting for a chance to escape, unnoticed. Once or twice she ran into Lady Une and Sally. They had questioned her for a little while, then let her go. She sunck around and droped off some thing in Heero's room. She noted that it was quite spartan. She had offered him better rooms for when he did decide to bless her with one of his rare visits. He had said that he liked these rooms better, and so she always kept them open. Oh well, why wasn't she suprised? She left her burden on the bed, and left. Soon afterwards she escaped the compund. She ran through the forest, for the most part, staying up in the trees, leaping from branch to branch. When she did come down, she spalshed through every water sourse she could, even if it was only a puddle. Sometimes she would run back along her path, and then jump off the trail compleately. She had been traviling for some time when she stopped to rest up aganst a tree. She removed the soping wet clothing and stuffed it up in a hollowed out tree trunk. She donned the day's third pair of clothing. This was a pair of thermal socks, a pair of steel toed combat boots she had *ahem* borrowed from Heero, a pair of camoflage pants and matching jacket, and several layers of warm clothing. She also hid two guns in her jacket and a knife in the bun she had made with her hair. She then reslung the bag over her sholder and continued her trek towrad the mountans.
***************
Duo got up from the table and excused himself. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei joined him as he left, and went walking down the halls.
"Where are we going?" Quatre asked as Duo picked up the pace.
"To check on Heero, he's been gone too long. Normaly, I wouldn't worry about it, but Relena's been acting weird lately,"
Trowa looked at Duo odly, " I'm sure that he can handle one little girl. . . "
Wufei hissed quietly, "There was no mere girl in the room when I went to drag her out. She was a vilont demon." The pase steped up a notch.
Duo was the first to reach Relena's room. He grabed the knob and turned, "DAMN! It's locked!" He pulled out his gun, "On three I'm kicking in the door. ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!"
The door banged open. The pilots filed in quickly, guns drawn. They heard a low muffling coming from underneath the bed. Duo dragged a still drowsy, but very angry, and still chanied Heero out from underneath it. A few moments passed as he freed himself.
"What happened?" asked Duo as Heero removed a saliva soaked bandana from his mouth.
Relena knocked me out, no doubt she did all of this," he said, then swore a blue streak. "Where is she?"
Duo shurged, "Don't know. No one has seen her."
"Well, let's go find her, she can't have gone far," said Heero.
They split up and searched the base from top to bottom. Even Heero's room was torn apart, (Heero seached his own room, as any one else going into his room would be promptly skinned) but everyone came up empty handed. When she coulden't be found, the gundam pilots returned to Relena's room to try and look for clues as to where she went. Trowa tossed down a small folder.
"Well, no doubt about it, Relena tied up Heero. She didn't even try to hide her DNA or finger prints; it's like she didn't even care. . ."
"Or she wanted us to know it was her," dryly remarked Sally.
Duo held up a small book, "I found her diary. Maybe it will give us some answers. ."
Quatre dragged forward a solider.
"I found him in a sideroom, wearing Relena's dress and covered with beer; he says he didn't do anything."
"Right." (Duo of course!)
Trowa frowned. "Did you find anything, Heero?"
Heero's right eyebrow twiched, "Just this, left on my bed in plane view." He pulled out a tedy bear, with a blue ribbon around it's neck.
Duo shook his head. This was getting more complex by the momment.Out of the cornner of his eye, Duo saw Heero pick up Relena's diary.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going with that?"
"There's something wrong with Relena. I'm going to find out what. And if you try to stop me- omae o korsu. . ."
"Heero! Now is not the time to gain insite on your crush!" shouted Duo.
"There's someting else, Relena never kept a dairy before. She didn't beleve in them. Too easy to discover and read."
Then Heero left the room, leaving some thoughtful pilots.
****
Heero sat on his bed, reading Relena's diary by candlelight. Heero found the darkness soothing, but because he couldn't read in the dark, Heero had lit one lone candle in the corner of the room. The more he read, the more disturbed he became. One of the more disturbing entrys went
"The darkness is comming, it wants the people of this star. I fear for the innocent and for Heero, he cannot fight this enemy. It will surely drive him mad. I alone can fight, and the voices say I cannot allow dakness. . .who am I ? I can't rember. The voices say I'm Relena Peacecraft Dorlin. . .tell me diary, are they right? Or am I someone else. . .
And it went down hill from there.
'Could Relena be suffereing from a phycoligical dissorder?' Heero thought to himself.
**********************
Duo looked up from inhailing the mornig walfales. Heero walked in, his scowl somehow pericing and thoughtful at the same time. He picked up a glass of orange jucie and began to sip it, looking over it for something to kill.
"Try not to look at the milk, Heero," said Duo.
"Why?" asked Heero, not sure if he could stand another bout of Duo's brand of humor without snaping.
"Because that scowl of yours will make the milk curldle. What'd you find in Relena's diary?"
Heero gritted his teeth. "The begining was typical, she complaned about the weather and the peace confrences, the usual. We're also mentioned. As you read further and further away from reality. By the end, it's just random phrases and poems and symbols. Whatever is wrong with her, she's had it for at least six months."
"What has she had for at least six months, Heero?" asked Quatre.
"Listen to this entry-" answers Heero and he reads "The darkness is coming, it wants the people of this star. I fear for the innocent and for Heero, he cannot fight this enemy. It will surely drive him mad. I alone can fight, and the voices say I cannot allow darkness. . .who am I ?"
The other four ex-Gundam pilots simply stared at him.
"What was she talking about? What darkness?" asked Trowa, actually speaking up for once.
"I think that we should find Miss Relena quick," said Quatre. The other ex-pilots nodded in reply.
"Mission accepted," said Heero, as he turned to walk out.
*********************
Meanwhile, Relena had been hiking up the mountains. She came to a small cottage that disguised the entrance to the underground area where she had been building something. She took out a small gold key and slid it into the lock and turned it. It came open with a click. Walking in she went to the far wall where a picture hung askew. Straightening it, a door on the left slid open to reveal a metal elevator.
Stepping into in, the door slid shut silently behind it. A few seconds later it opened to reveal an underground hanger. Seven mobile suits stood against the wall. Not just any normal suits, but Gundams. The rebuilt Wing ZERO Custom, Deathsythe Hell Custom, Heavy Arms Custom, Sandrock Custom, Altron Custom and The Tallgeese Four stood there. And across from them stood a very different Gundam. This was her new Gundam Lady Hawk.
She smiled at the fruits of her labor. Then she took a long look at those around her, trying to imprint the faces firmly in her mind. 'This will be the last time you see this time, this place-' Something halted the train of thought. 'No, you can't start thinking that way, then you'll be killed for sure. Besides, you've got to come back for your teady bear!'
"Howard! Rashid!" she called out.
"Miss Relena!" they called back in greeting.
"Is everything prepared?"
"Yes, it's all ready, but are you sure this is wise? You could be killed, then where would we be?"
"With one less mouth to feed. I'm not special, you know, anyone could lead if they had to. This is the reason I live, this must be done. . .for the sake of humanity. You remember that you've been sworn to scilence?"
"Of course, untill you leave," replied Rashid.
"Oh, Howard, Rashid, one more thing."
"Yes?" repiled them both.
"Make sure that Heero dosen't get himself killed, OK?"
"Will do. You'd better get going," said Howard.
"Yes, thank you for everything."
She grabed one of the handholds that lead up to her Gundam, and let it take her up. She fingered the small, key shaped pendant that hung from her neck. 'This is my mission, to save humanity. I won't give up!' She swung off the handhold and into the cocpit. The straps instantly responded by sucuring her into place. The helmit came down, and once she dawned it she 'saw' the underground hanger. She gripped the key, and lifted it high.
"Gardien of Time! Open the hevenly gate and split the heavens to me! I call upon you, mighty warrior of evoloution, under the time-space star. Lead Me! Protect Me! Onward to the road of Light!"
There was a flood of light, drowning out all else. When it faded both the Gundam and it's pilot was gone. The workers stood staring at the empty space. Howard became infurieated.
"Come on, you bunch of good-for-nothing gawlkers. Get going! We still have alot of work to do! Don't you forget our promise to the Lady! We've got to deliver these!"
"Yes Sir!"
*********************************
Heero was sleeping in. He had spent all day combing for any signs of Relena and/or where she could have gone. He had retired around three in the morning. It took half an hour just to get to get back to Relena's house, and by the time he blindly picked up a pair of night clothes, it was very late, or early, depending on how you looked at it. He spent most of his time tossing and turning, tring to get to sleep. He eventualy sucedded, around five.
At exactly 6:15 AM, Heero awoke to some noise. Still half asleep, he stumbled acoss the room to his window. The sun was just beginging to rise. In the steel-gray light he saw several very familar sillowettes.
"Oh, no. . . "
Duo stummbled in, still half-asleep, to ask Heero a question. When he entered Heero's room, the person in question was staring at the window. Curious, he came to stand beside him. The glare of the riseing sun and the sillowettes pirced them both. It only took Duo a second to recodnise the shape of the force that controlled his destney.
"Oh, shit."
*********************************
It was about 7:00 when the ex-pilots assembled themselves outside on the front lawn. Trowa stood staring up at Heavy Arms, or. . . at least some thing that looked like it. He shook his head, his forest-green pajamas blowing slightly in the moring wind. Wufei stood in only boxers and katana, (the former was red and gold with dragons on it) seemingly entranced with Altron's still from before him. Duo shook his head.
"Hey! Maybe we're all dreaming!" he shouted, then to prove his point, he kicked Deathsythe Hell in the left leg. The sound of bone making clear contact with gundainum alloy filled the air."OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep!! Defintily real! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"My dear Sandrock. . . ."
All heads turned tward the sound. Quatre was attemting to make his small arms incircle the Gundam's huge ankle.
". . . . you came back to me. . ."
All presant sweatdroped. Duo started to turn heel.
"Hey Heero-", what ever Duo had started to say was instantly forgotten as he and Wufei colasped to the ground laughing.
"Look, this was all I had clean," said Heero(somehow) in his usuall monotone. Heero's pajamas were. . interesting. . . They were a pair of white boxers and nightshirt, both covered in little yellow. . .smilly faces. Quatre burred his face in Sandrock's leg to muffle the giggles.
Trowa coughed into his hand, "Now I'm sure we can all be mature about this. . ."
Duo took a deep breath, "You're right, Trowa."
"Thank you, Trowa," whispered Heero. He started to walk back to Wing ZERO, and as soon as he did, the laughter started up again. Even Trowa cocked a smile.
"Look, Relena got me this as a Christmas present, I didn't pick it out," said Heero, with maybe the beginings of thinking about a sight undertone of annoyance; maybe. . .
Wufei smothered another round of laughter as he re-read the back of Heero's nightshirt.
"Don't Worry. Be Happy."
****************************
Heero porred over his coffie, and a package of asprin. 'That is the LAST time I drink ANYTHING with Duo. Especialy HIS vadka!' As of late Heero had been drinking often and heavly. This nasty habbit had come back to bite him after he and Duo went out to search for Relena. Together they had finnished off two bottles of Russian Vadka and the bottle of rum Duo kept around for emergency purposes. By the time Heero had finnished looking for any clues, the both of them had been pretty stoned. The next person to talk was going to recive a trakeomtmy. His temple throbed. Suddenly the door was unlocked, and Trowa, Quatre, Duo, and Wufei walked in, carring a bound and gagged man in his mid to upper twentys.
"Heero, we found this. . " Duo said indecationg the body ". . .hidding in the bushes. He ran when we spoted him, but we got um' in the end."
"You going to interrogate him?" asked Heero.
"Yes." said Trowa.
"I'll help."
***************************
Quatre walked out of the room and sniffed. "He won't talk to me. . ."
Duo's eyes flashed. "I wanna got next!" He grabbed a bunndle at the floor. "Heheheheheheheheheh" he went giggling down the hallway.
Trowa rased an eyebrow. "I think we'd better keep an eye on him."
Wufei nodded, "Agreed. You never know what that baka is up to."
They filled into a room holding the see-through side of a one way mirror. After they took their seats Duo stormed in. He was waring a dark hood that compleatly covered all his skin.
"I AM THE GOD OF DEATH!!!!!!!! FEAR ME MORTAL!! YOU WILL TELL ME ALL!!!!"
The prisoner rolled his eyes. Duo threw back his hood in frustration. "Ok! What's your name, punk?"
"Albert." said the prisoner arrogantly.
"What kind of red-necked hick names their son Albert?!" yelled Duo; an argument commenced.
Finnaly Duo gave up. "Your turn." was all he said to Heero. Heero calmly stood up and walked over to Albert and pulled out a gun.
"Gun says talk."
"Albert says no."
" I'm going to count to three. Then I shoot."
"Right. . ."
"One."
Albert rolled his eyes again.
"Two. I mean it."
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Two point five. . ."
Albert flicked Heero off.
"Three."
BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOT ME IN THE ARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That middle finger was seeing too much solo time. Besides, just because I said I wouldn't kill anybody doesn't mean I can't serously mame you. . . and on top of all that, there's something about you that really pisses me off. . .now talk, or I'll shoot you in your other arm."
Needless to say our poor Albert began to sing like a canary; a carary that was REALLY out of tune and missed half the notes, but a canary none the less. Unfourtionaly he was saying everything from some babble about Howard and Rashid to the President's birthday.
"Hold on! Wait. What about Howard?"
"Idon'tknow!Howardjustsaidtodmyverybestworkonanarmmadeofgundanium.Idrewtheshortstickandhadtopioltittothishellhole! IWANTMYMOMMY!!!WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
Just then, Howard walked in. "What are you doing with my friend?. . ." Howard backed up a few steps. "He piloted the Deathsythe Hell. But hey, don't shoot the messenger! It was all under her orders!"
Heero's eyes narrowed. "Who's orders?"
"Relena's." he answered simply.
All the pilots froze. "You know where she is?" they asked in unison.
Howard shook his head. "Not right now. As soon as all the Gundam's were completed she told us to deliver them and she said a short speech, almost an incantation, and disappeared in a portal of light."
"What kind of an incantation?" asked Trowa.
"She said 'Guardian of Time! Open the heavenly gate and split the heavens to me! I call upon you, mighty warrior of evolution, under the time-space star. Lead Me! Protect Me! Onward to the road of Light!' and then a bright light flared blinding everyone and she and Lady Hawk were gone."
"Who's Lady Hawk?" asked Duo.
"Her Gundam."
"Her WHAT?" they shouted in unison again.
"You heard me." He answered.
"I think this qualifies as a 'Oh Shit' situation," muttered Duo. Heero only growled.
"I think this is more than Relena acting crazy." whispered Quatre."She's devloped some sort of magic."
"I thought every former queen disappeared in a bright flash of light." said Duo sarcastically. Heero gave him a death glare.
"Not funny, baka."
"Is 'Baka' my name now, or something!?"
"Yes," muttered Wufei.
"I heard that!!" yelled Duo.
"Quiet!" yelled Heero, his commrads seeing more emotion in him then they had through most of the war." We can argue later. Howard, where was she when she disapered?"
"In a underground hanger in the woods near the mountans." he answered.
"Then that's where we're going," said Heero, as always, in a monotone.
"Hey, wait. What makes you so sure that you'll find her?" asked Duo, crossing Heero's bad mood once again, "I mean, if she isn't throwing herself at you, who knows where she is, plus I don't think she'll be happy to see us. . ."
"Duo?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
Duo pretended to snap to attention. "YES SIR!!" The assembled group sighed. It had been almost a year and a half sense Mariemaya's war. . . somethings would never change, no matter how much time passed.
*************************
The year is After Coloney 198. Peace has decended in this time and place and the weary ex-pilots can now rest, and set out on the difficult task of recovering their humainty. . . and souls. Little does anyone know that in another time and place a newly born solider has commited herself to saving the world, and this time in a not so friendly Earth and coloneys.
Stay Tuned for the next chapter of "There's Something Wrong with Relena"!
***************************
Author's Notes: This is the non spellchecked version. It will eventualy be put up in the crossover section. Tell me if you like. . . I may put it up early. . .but it will have spoilers!!
By Maraih Kechum
Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? U'know I don't own 'um!!!
Chapter 1: Maybe it's a virus. . .
Relena looked up at her door, deciding weather or not she should answer it. Finally the angry pounding became too much to bear and she opened the door to see a very angry Wufei standing there.
"You weak woman! You can't even remember the peace conference you said that you spent so much effort into getting to occur! NO one should have to suffer with the likes of you! WEAK WOMAN!" Wufei howled. "Get going!"
She stared coolly at Wufei. "You done?" she asked. " 'Cuse if you're not I'm going to ask you to leave."
"Get going, NOW!!!"
"Read my lips, NO!! I DON'T WANT TO!!!!"
Wufei got up, ready to physically drag her out if necessary. As he reached out to do just that, Relena punched him in the face. As his brain tried to register the fact that she, not any one else, had punched him, her foot connected with the side of his head. She landed numerous punches on his face, stomach, back, and chest, before he gathered his wits enough to retaliate. He reached for his gun, but his hand never quite got there. Instead, Relena struck Wufei's ears at the same time, so that the pressure equalized. Then she hit his head with the base of her palm, and Wufei hit the ground. She dragged the unconscious solder to the door by the scruff of the neck , opened it, and dumped him unceremoniously on the ground where Duo was watching. She swore a blue streak and told him to never enter her room again without her permission, or else. Duo meekly dragged off Wufei to find out what he did to Relena.
*******************
Wufei slowly came to. Heero was towering over him, scowling as usual.
"What did you do?"
"What do you mean?!"
"What did you do to Relena? She attacked you. She believes in nonviolence, remember?"
"I didn't do anything!!!" snarled Wufei.
"So, you didn't do any thing, huh? She came up and beat the snot out of you just because she decided that she doesn't like your face?" Asked Duo. "She was swearing up a storm when she kicked you out of her room, and you say you didn't do anything. Pardon me if I'm somewhat sceptical. . ."
"You question my honor?!!!" Wufei tried to stand, without a lot of success.
Quatre stood between them "That's not what he meant. . ."
"Well, in any case, I'd better find out what's wrong," muttered Heero
***
Heero banged on Relena's door, hard.
"DAMN YOU! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He was slightly pissed.
Relena had refused to acknowledge him, for once. This only further convinced him that something was wrong; up until recently she would have NEVER ignored him. There was something really wrong here.
"Relena, you have until the count of three to open this door! ONE!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!! "
He ripped open the door. Relena was sitting on the bed, looking straight at him. Her eyes flashed with anger. The space around her glowed a startling pink, and her hair stood on end. She let out and outraged cry, and suddenly Heero was flung up against the wall, and Relena had never touched him. As darkness began to overtake him a thought ran through his head, one that probably belonged in Duo's head, not his. Never the less he thought it, even as he became disgusted with himself for thinking it.
'Gee, maybe it's that time of month. . .'
******************
Heero lost consciousness. Relena grabbed his wrists and dragged him into her room. She tyed a bandanna over his mouth and used duct tape to bind his legs and arms together. Then she tyed his hands to his feet and the rest of his arms to his back, untill he looked a little bit like a mummy. She had searched him before, and now she looked over the things she had removed from him and set on her dresser.
"Let's see. . . gun, gun, knife, bomb, gun, knife, scotch tape, a few jelly beans, a big knife, a reloading cartrage, bullits. . . a lot of bullits, sniper rifle, dagger, the keys to a car, some money, a camera, sinide, peper spray, . . .oh! Here they are!!"
She grabbed the handcuffs and hooked one on Heero's wrist, then covered it with more tape. She grinned, tying a blue ribbon around his neck. Then Relena hooked the other cuff to the leg of her bed, and grinned, shoveing Heero under. She packed dirty clothes around him to muffle any sounds he made.
She grabed a bag and filled it with things she would need, some of which she had been saving for months. She kicked off her shoes, sense they would make a lot of noise, and stealth was a nesseity. She picked up the majority of the contences of Heero's pockits and dumped them in her bag. Then she wet a sponge and soacked the wall where Heero's head had hit his head. She dragged a 'WET PAINT' sign over to where his head had left a dent. Then Relena walked back in and gave an apologitic shrug toward the bed. Then she locked the door and left the room. She gave one last look twoard the room; she knew that she would probbly not see it for a long time- or if things went according to plan, never again. No matter. She walked casualy down the hallway. She knew that all the things she had done would not hold Heero for long. It wasn't suppost to. She was simply was tryng to by herself time. She grinned, hurring down the hallway.
She stoped at a perticular corner, momentarly putting down the bag. Glancing around to be sure that she and her target were alone, she reached around to the solider she knew was garding the door. She made a quick, chopping motion with her hand that landed on the base of his neck. He colapsed. She caught him and dragged him to a nearby side room. There she striped him to boxers and donned his clothes, and dressed him in hers. The solider was a compulsve lier and a known cross-dresser, and the more confusion, the better. She quickly braded her hair and pulled a beer bottle out from the corner of the room. After she pored the entire bottle on him, she put the empty bottle in his hand. She pulled his cap low over her eyes to make herself less femine,( she had already wraped an Ace bandage around her chest to make it flat ) and stuffed her hair up in it. Then she picked up the bag and left the room.
Relena walked for a long time around the hallways, waiting for a chance to escape, unnoticed. Once or twice she ran into Lady Une and Sally. They had questioned her for a little while, then let her go. She sunck around and droped off some thing in Heero's room. She noted that it was quite spartan. She had offered him better rooms for when he did decide to bless her with one of his rare visits. He had said that he liked these rooms better, and so she always kept them open. Oh well, why wasn't she suprised? She left her burden on the bed, and left. Soon afterwards she escaped the compund. She ran through the forest, for the most part, staying up in the trees, leaping from branch to branch. When she did come down, she spalshed through every water sourse she could, even if it was only a puddle. Sometimes she would run back along her path, and then jump off the trail compleately. She had been traviling for some time when she stopped to rest up aganst a tree. She removed the soping wet clothing and stuffed it up in a hollowed out tree trunk. She donned the day's third pair of clothing. This was a pair of thermal socks, a pair of steel toed combat boots she had *ahem* borrowed from Heero, a pair of camoflage pants and matching jacket, and several layers of warm clothing. She also hid two guns in her jacket and a knife in the bun she had made with her hair. She then reslung the bag over her sholder and continued her trek towrad the mountans.
***************
Duo got up from the table and excused himself. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei joined him as he left, and went walking down the halls.
"Where are we going?" Quatre asked as Duo picked up the pace.
"To check on Heero, he's been gone too long. Normaly, I wouldn't worry about it, but Relena's been acting weird lately,"
Trowa looked at Duo odly, " I'm sure that he can handle one little girl. . . "
Wufei hissed quietly, "There was no mere girl in the room when I went to drag her out. She was a vilont demon." The pase steped up a notch.
Duo was the first to reach Relena's room. He grabed the knob and turned, "DAMN! It's locked!" He pulled out his gun, "On three I'm kicking in the door. ONE!!! TWO!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!"
The door banged open. The pilots filed in quickly, guns drawn. They heard a low muffling coming from underneath the bed. Duo dragged a still drowsy, but very angry, and still chanied Heero out from underneath it. A few moments passed as he freed himself.
"What happened?" asked Duo as Heero removed a saliva soaked bandana from his mouth.
Relena knocked me out, no doubt she did all of this," he said, then swore a blue streak. "Where is she?"
Duo shurged, "Don't know. No one has seen her."
"Well, let's go find her, she can't have gone far," said Heero.
They split up and searched the base from top to bottom. Even Heero's room was torn apart, (Heero seached his own room, as any one else going into his room would be promptly skinned) but everyone came up empty handed. When she coulden't be found, the gundam pilots returned to Relena's room to try and look for clues as to where she went. Trowa tossed down a small folder.
"Well, no doubt about it, Relena tied up Heero. She didn't even try to hide her DNA or finger prints; it's like she didn't even care. . ."
"Or she wanted us to know it was her," dryly remarked Sally.
Duo held up a small book, "I found her diary. Maybe it will give us some answers. ."
Quatre dragged forward a solider.
"I found him in a sideroom, wearing Relena's dress and covered with beer; he says he didn't do anything."
"Right." (Duo of course!)
Trowa frowned. "Did you find anything, Heero?"
Heero's right eyebrow twiched, "Just this, left on my bed in plane view." He pulled out a tedy bear, with a blue ribbon around it's neck.
Duo shook his head. This was getting more complex by the momment.Out of the cornner of his eye, Duo saw Heero pick up Relena's diary.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going with that?"
"There's something wrong with Relena. I'm going to find out what. And if you try to stop me- omae o korsu. . ."
"Heero! Now is not the time to gain insite on your crush!" shouted Duo.
"There's someting else, Relena never kept a dairy before. She didn't beleve in them. Too easy to discover and read."
Then Heero left the room, leaving some thoughtful pilots.
****
Heero sat on his bed, reading Relena's diary by candlelight. Heero found the darkness soothing, but because he couldn't read in the dark, Heero had lit one lone candle in the corner of the room. The more he read, the more disturbed he became. One of the more disturbing entrys went
"The darkness is comming, it wants the people of this star. I fear for the innocent and for Heero, he cannot fight this enemy. It will surely drive him mad. I alone can fight, and the voices say I cannot allow dakness. . .who am I ? I can't rember. The voices say I'm Relena Peacecraft Dorlin. . .tell me diary, are they right? Or am I someone else. . .
And it went down hill from there.
'Could Relena be suffereing from a phycoligical dissorder?' Heero thought to himself.
**********************
Duo looked up from inhailing the mornig walfales. Heero walked in, his scowl somehow pericing and thoughtful at the same time. He picked up a glass of orange jucie and began to sip it, looking over it for something to kill.
"Try not to look at the milk, Heero," said Duo.
"Why?" asked Heero, not sure if he could stand another bout of Duo's brand of humor without snaping.
"Because that scowl of yours will make the milk curldle. What'd you find in Relena's diary?"
Heero gritted his teeth. "The begining was typical, she complaned about the weather and the peace confrences, the usual. We're also mentioned. As you read further and further away from reality. By the end, it's just random phrases and poems and symbols. Whatever is wrong with her, she's had it for at least six months."
"What has she had for at least six months, Heero?" asked Quatre.
"Listen to this entry-" answers Heero and he reads "The darkness is coming, it wants the people of this star. I fear for the innocent and for Heero, he cannot fight this enemy. It will surely drive him mad. I alone can fight, and the voices say I cannot allow darkness. . .who am I ?"
The other four ex-Gundam pilots simply stared at him.
"What was she talking about? What darkness?" asked Trowa, actually speaking up for once.
"I think that we should find Miss Relena quick," said Quatre. The other ex-pilots nodded in reply.
"Mission accepted," said Heero, as he turned to walk out.
*********************
Meanwhile, Relena had been hiking up the mountains. She came to a small cottage that disguised the entrance to the underground area where she had been building something. She took out a small gold key and slid it into the lock and turned it. It came open with a click. Walking in she went to the far wall where a picture hung askew. Straightening it, a door on the left slid open to reveal a metal elevator.
Stepping into in, the door slid shut silently behind it. A few seconds later it opened to reveal an underground hanger. Seven mobile suits stood against the wall. Not just any normal suits, but Gundams. The rebuilt Wing ZERO Custom, Deathsythe Hell Custom, Heavy Arms Custom, Sandrock Custom, Altron Custom and The Tallgeese Four stood there. And across from them stood a very different Gundam. This was her new Gundam Lady Hawk.
She smiled at the fruits of her labor. Then she took a long look at those around her, trying to imprint the faces firmly in her mind. 'This will be the last time you see this time, this place-' Something halted the train of thought. 'No, you can't start thinking that way, then you'll be killed for sure. Besides, you've got to come back for your teady bear!'
"Howard! Rashid!" she called out.
"Miss Relena!" they called back in greeting.
"Is everything prepared?"
"Yes, it's all ready, but are you sure this is wise? You could be killed, then where would we be?"
"With one less mouth to feed. I'm not special, you know, anyone could lead if they had to. This is the reason I live, this must be done. . .for the sake of humanity. You remember that you've been sworn to scilence?"
"Of course, untill you leave," replied Rashid.
"Oh, Howard, Rashid, one more thing."
"Yes?" repiled them both.
"Make sure that Heero dosen't get himself killed, OK?"
"Will do. You'd better get going," said Howard.
"Yes, thank you for everything."
She grabed one of the handholds that lead up to her Gundam, and let it take her up. She fingered the small, key shaped pendant that hung from her neck. 'This is my mission, to save humanity. I won't give up!' She swung off the handhold and into the cocpit. The straps instantly responded by sucuring her into place. The helmit came down, and once she dawned it she 'saw' the underground hanger. She gripped the key, and lifted it high.
"Gardien of Time! Open the hevenly gate and split the heavens to me! I call upon you, mighty warrior of evoloution, under the time-space star. Lead Me! Protect Me! Onward to the road of Light!"
There was a flood of light, drowning out all else. When it faded both the Gundam and it's pilot was gone. The workers stood staring at the empty space. Howard became infurieated.
"Come on, you bunch of good-for-nothing gawlkers. Get going! We still have alot of work to do! Don't you forget our promise to the Lady! We've got to deliver these!"
"Yes Sir!"
*********************************
Heero was sleeping in. He had spent all day combing for any signs of Relena and/or where she could have gone. He had retired around three in the morning. It took half an hour just to get to get back to Relena's house, and by the time he blindly picked up a pair of night clothes, it was very late, or early, depending on how you looked at it. He spent most of his time tossing and turning, tring to get to sleep. He eventualy sucedded, around five.
At exactly 6:15 AM, Heero awoke to some noise. Still half asleep, he stumbled acoss the room to his window. The sun was just beginging to rise. In the steel-gray light he saw several very familar sillowettes.
"Oh, no. . . "
Duo stummbled in, still half-asleep, to ask Heero a question. When he entered Heero's room, the person in question was staring at the window. Curious, he came to stand beside him. The glare of the riseing sun and the sillowettes pirced them both. It only took Duo a second to recodnise the shape of the force that controlled his destney.
"Oh, shit."
*********************************
It was about 7:00 when the ex-pilots assembled themselves outside on the front lawn. Trowa stood staring up at Heavy Arms, or. . . at least some thing that looked like it. He shook his head, his forest-green pajamas blowing slightly in the moring wind. Wufei stood in only boxers and katana, (the former was red and gold with dragons on it) seemingly entranced with Altron's still from before him. Duo shook his head.
"Hey! Maybe we're all dreaming!" he shouted, then to prove his point, he kicked Deathsythe Hell in the left leg. The sound of bone making clear contact with gundainum alloy filled the air."OWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yep!! Defintily real! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"My dear Sandrock. . . ."
All heads turned tward the sound. Quatre was attemting to make his small arms incircle the Gundam's huge ankle.
". . . . you came back to me. . ."
All presant sweatdroped. Duo started to turn heel.
"Hey Heero-", what ever Duo had started to say was instantly forgotten as he and Wufei colasped to the ground laughing.
"Look, this was all I had clean," said Heero(somehow) in his usuall monotone. Heero's pajamas were. . interesting. . . They were a pair of white boxers and nightshirt, both covered in little yellow. . .smilly faces. Quatre burred his face in Sandrock's leg to muffle the giggles.
Trowa coughed into his hand, "Now I'm sure we can all be mature about this. . ."
Duo took a deep breath, "You're right, Trowa."
"Thank you, Trowa," whispered Heero. He started to walk back to Wing ZERO, and as soon as he did, the laughter started up again. Even Trowa cocked a smile.
"Look, Relena got me this as a Christmas present, I didn't pick it out," said Heero, with maybe the beginings of thinking about a sight undertone of annoyance; maybe. . .
Wufei smothered another round of laughter as he re-read the back of Heero's nightshirt.
"Don't Worry. Be Happy."
****************************
Heero porred over his coffie, and a package of asprin. 'That is the LAST time I drink ANYTHING with Duo. Especialy HIS vadka!' As of late Heero had been drinking often and heavly. This nasty habbit had come back to bite him after he and Duo went out to search for Relena. Together they had finnished off two bottles of Russian Vadka and the bottle of rum Duo kept around for emergency purposes. By the time Heero had finnished looking for any clues, the both of them had been pretty stoned. The next person to talk was going to recive a trakeomtmy. His temple throbed. Suddenly the door was unlocked, and Trowa, Quatre, Duo, and Wufei walked in, carring a bound and gagged man in his mid to upper twentys.
"Heero, we found this. . " Duo said indecationg the body ". . .hidding in the bushes. He ran when we spoted him, but we got um' in the end."
"You going to interrogate him?" asked Heero.
"Yes." said Trowa.
"I'll help."
***************************
Quatre walked out of the room and sniffed. "He won't talk to me. . ."
Duo's eyes flashed. "I wanna got next!" He grabbed a bunndle at the floor. "Heheheheheheheheheh" he went giggling down the hallway.
Trowa rased an eyebrow. "I think we'd better keep an eye on him."
Wufei nodded, "Agreed. You never know what that baka is up to."
They filled into a room holding the see-through side of a one way mirror. After they took their seats Duo stormed in. He was waring a dark hood that compleatly covered all his skin.
"I AM THE GOD OF DEATH!!!!!!!! FEAR ME MORTAL!! YOU WILL TELL ME ALL!!!!"
The prisoner rolled his eyes. Duo threw back his hood in frustration. "Ok! What's your name, punk?"
"Albert." said the prisoner arrogantly.
"What kind of red-necked hick names their son Albert?!" yelled Duo; an argument commenced.
Finnaly Duo gave up. "Your turn." was all he said to Heero. Heero calmly stood up and walked over to Albert and pulled out a gun.
"Gun says talk."
"Albert says no."
" I'm going to count to three. Then I shoot."
"Right. . ."
"One."
Albert rolled his eyes again.
"Two. I mean it."
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Two point five. . ."
Albert flicked Heero off.
"Three."
BANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"OOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOT ME IN THE ARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That middle finger was seeing too much solo time. Besides, just because I said I wouldn't kill anybody doesn't mean I can't serously mame you. . . and on top of all that, there's something about you that really pisses me off. . .now talk, or I'll shoot you in your other arm."
Needless to say our poor Albert began to sing like a canary; a carary that was REALLY out of tune and missed half the notes, but a canary none the less. Unfourtionaly he was saying everything from some babble about Howard and Rashid to the President's birthday.
"Hold on! Wait. What about Howard?"
"Idon'tknow!Howardjustsaidtodmyverybestworkonanarmmadeofgundanium.Idrewtheshortstickandhadtopioltittothishellhole! IWANTMYMOMMY!!!WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
Just then, Howard walked in. "What are you doing with my friend?. . ." Howard backed up a few steps. "He piloted the Deathsythe Hell. But hey, don't shoot the messenger! It was all under her orders!"
Heero's eyes narrowed. "Who's orders?"
"Relena's." he answered simply.
All the pilots froze. "You know where she is?" they asked in unison.
Howard shook his head. "Not right now. As soon as all the Gundam's were completed she told us to deliver them and she said a short speech, almost an incantation, and disappeared in a portal of light."
"What kind of an incantation?" asked Trowa.
"She said 'Guardian of Time! Open the heavenly gate and split the heavens to me! I call upon you, mighty warrior of evolution, under the time-space star. Lead Me! Protect Me! Onward to the road of Light!' and then a bright light flared blinding everyone and she and Lady Hawk were gone."
"Who's Lady Hawk?" asked Duo.
"Her Gundam."
"Her WHAT?" they shouted in unison again.
"You heard me." He answered.
"I think this qualifies as a 'Oh Shit' situation," muttered Duo. Heero only growled.
"I think this is more than Relena acting crazy." whispered Quatre."She's devloped some sort of magic."
"I thought every former queen disappeared in a bright flash of light." said Duo sarcastically. Heero gave him a death glare.
"Not funny, baka."
"Is 'Baka' my name now, or something!?"
"Yes," muttered Wufei.
"I heard that!!" yelled Duo.
"Quiet!" yelled Heero, his commrads seeing more emotion in him then they had through most of the war." We can argue later. Howard, where was she when she disapered?"
"In a underground hanger in the woods near the mountans." he answered.
"Then that's where we're going," said Heero, as always, in a monotone.
"Hey, wait. What makes you so sure that you'll find her?" asked Duo, crossing Heero's bad mood once again, "I mean, if she isn't throwing herself at you, who knows where she is, plus I don't think she'll be happy to see us. . ."
"Duo?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
Duo pretended to snap to attention. "YES SIR!!" The assembled group sighed. It had been almost a year and a half sense Mariemaya's war. . . somethings would never change, no matter how much time passed.
*************************
The year is After Coloney 198. Peace has decended in this time and place and the weary ex-pilots can now rest, and set out on the difficult task of recovering their humainty. . . and souls. Little does anyone know that in another time and place a newly born solider has commited herself to saving the world, and this time in a not so friendly Earth and coloneys.
Stay Tuned for the next chapter of "There's Something Wrong with Relena"!
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Author's Notes: This is the non spellchecked version. It will eventualy be put up in the crossover section. Tell me if you like. . . I may put it up early. . .but it will have spoilers!!