beautiful soul

a/n: Something's been nagging at me since last night's episode, and that is Stefan's side. I know that a lot of people just think he's a monster right now, but in the end, I don't believe that. I don't believe that Elena fell for someone who has no humanity. I don't think she belongs with him anymore, but he doesn't deserve the hate he's getting. So this is my last tribute to Stelena. Keep an open mind, and I hope you enjoy(:

If you love someone, ask them for nothing. Don't hold them from their destiny. Don't keep them from going off in search of their own answers.

But should they not return to you, then life hasn't cheated you. Your bitterness will not last long, and you will feel thankful and blessed that at the very least, this beautiful soul has colored your life, that knowing them has already made life infinitely more meaningful.

- anonymous

The light filtering through the curtains is a little too bright, the covers are a little too smothering, and her eyes are a little too far open. Elena breathes quietly as she gazes into the darkness of her room. It's all still here; she hasn't changed that much in the past year. Jewelry is still balled up on her dresser where she tried to untangle it so long ago, her closet is still stuffed with old cheerleading relics she hadn't plucked up the nerve to throw away. His scent is here too, if she concentrates hard enough; it's nearly obscured by Damon's soft scent, but the old one is still there, a reminder that she'd loved, lost.

The memories are never going to go away, are they?

All Elena has to do is close her eyes and she can acutely remember his soft hands playing with the tiny hairs on the back of her neck, the way his dark-bronze hair brushed her collar-bone as he left barely-there kisses down towards her stomach; the way his eyes shone with some kind of adoration as she shared the dreams of her future, his lips pressing against hers with a passion so intense it makes her abdomen burn. Every night she remembers the expressions on his face, how they shifted, revealed parts of him to her she never could have thought existed; she remembers how he whispered "I love you" in her ear when she was crying, how he seemed to understand the source of her sadness before even she could sometimes.

She remembers his torso pressing against hers, his hands peeling away her clothing; his patience, the compassion and understanding in his eyes when she was afraid to let him see her completely naked, completely vulnerable. It's impossible to prevent the tears from escaping down her cheeks when she remembers the way they joined as one, remembers the joy on his face, the way her heart thrummed with happiness so pure.

She doesn't regret that he was her first time.

And now the memories bring with them an edge of pain, because she let him go. She saw him transition when she fed him her blood, watched him lose the compassion and the carefree smile. She let him walk away, convinced herself that he was a monster and she wanted nothing to do with him. She threw it all away because he was going through a dark period in his life - something Lexi handled fine but Elena, she couldn't even fight for the man that she loved.

She should have fought harder, because that's what love is all about in the end: fighting for someone throughout the high and low points, being there for them even in the moments when you despise them. Not let them walk away and somehow start to fall in love with their brother.

That's what hurts the most. She let Stefan go, didn't fight nearly as hard as she should have, then fell in love with Damon.

Elena's eyes fly open, glistening with tears as she swings her feet over the side of the bed. Her toes snuggle eagerly into the flats by the nightstand and she runs a hair-brush hastily through her hair a few times before heading out. Alaric is sleeping on the couch - he never felt comfortable in Jenna's bed after she died - and Jeremy is kneeled on the floor in his bedroom, packing a few last things before his departure in the morning. Yet another thing she's letting go, Elena thinks as she walks quietly down the stairs, praying her brother won't hear her. She can't seem to get it through her head that he won't remember how close they were - how much she loves him - once he's gone.

She can't even say for certain that she'll see him again, and that hurts, so much.

The door clicks shut behind her, and Elena begins to walk down the street, not even sure where's she's really going. All she knows is that she can't let this go any longer, the feelings brewing in her chest, because Stefan's here in town. She can't waste such an opportunity, but at the same time she knows she can't face him again without totally breaking down. If she breaks down, she'll never get the chance to say what she has to.

Elena reaches the forest in a few minutes, a couple miles from the abandoned house where Stefan has been known to reside. She wraps her arms about herself, takes a deep breath. "Katherine?" she calls out, praying that the sadistic vampire is still in town. "Katherine, I have to talk to you!"

The bushes to her left are rustled by a wind that doesn't exist.

"Well, well," Katherine says as she steps towards her doppleganger, "if it isn't the little brother snatcher. How's Damon doing?"

"Damon has nothing to do with this," Elena says, fighting the weirdness that comes with seeing someone who looks identical to her. "I need you to tell Stefan something for me."

"Why don't you tell him yourself?" Katherine wonders, gesturing with her head towards the woods where the abandoned house lies. "Maybe he'll take you back." Her voice sounds darker, more dangerous, when she says that.

"I don't want him back," Elena admits, voice soft. She forces back tears, tells herself that she needs to be strong. "I need you to tell him goodbye for me."

Katherine studies her for a long moment, dark eyes flickering. "You still love him," she says at last. "Why not try to get him back?"

"Because -" Elena hesitates, really not wanting to get into the complications of that, "I just can't anymore. We're done, but he needs to know that I'm so so sorry for what I did to him." She bites her lip but the tears fill her eyes anyways. "He was struggling, trying to protect me by taking my blood, and I just let him go. I was so stupid for not fighting. And after I heard that he saved Damon's life -" she breaks off again, swallows hard. "Will you tell him that I love him, Katherine? I'll never ask you for anything ever again."

Katherine licks her lips, laughs, "You actually mean it, don't you?"

Elena nods.

"For the record," Katherine says, stepping forward until they are only a few feet apart, "I never do anything for anyone else that doesn't benefit myself."

Elena smiles sadly, "But it does. Take care of him for me, won't you? You fought even when I didn't; you didn't walk away." She takes a deep breath. "I know you care about him, Katherine. He's your weakness, isn't he?"

Katherine hesitates, her lips tugging down as she thinks. "He's stubborn, that one," she says with one of her smiles that could be understood as remotely human. "He'll never believe me when I say that I do care, but I'll do my best to keep him in line." She winks. "Don't bang his brother too hard."

Elena feels herself flushing, "Thank you."

Katherine shrugs, turns to head towards the house. As she saunters off, she turns her head back over her left shoulder and says, "Don't think this makes us friends. I'd kill you any day if it could guarentee my freedom."

Speechless, Elena watches Katherine walk away, knowing that finally she can put the past behind her. Katherine will take care of Stefan, will deliver Elena's last message even if she has to force herself to.

"That was really brave," someone says, and hands wrap themselves around her waist. Elena leans back against Damon's chest, smiles up at him.

"Are you sure you're not going to be running back to my little brother anytime soon?" Damon asks, trying to make his voice sound saucy. But she can see the hint of uncertainty buried in his eyes, the real worry that one day she'll just change her mind and bury him in the dust.

"I'm sure," Elena says, placing her hand on his cheek as she turns. Then she stretches up and presses her lips gently against his, kissing him.

Damon is smiling when she pulls back. "So what is this about not banging me too hard?" He smirks. "I know some really kinky poses if you're up for it."

Elena flushes bright red, slaps his shoulder. Then she tangles their fingers together.

Stefan takes a step further into the shadows as he watches his brother and Elena kiss again. He tries to banish the instinctive need to rip out his brother's heart, tries not to feel the hurt. She loves Damon now, and she should. He pushed her away.

"Let her be happy," Katherine says as she rests her head against his shoulder. "She loved you. That's what matters in the end, isn't it?"

He doesn't shove her head away, knows that for once in her damn life Katarina Petrova is right.

By setting a person free, you run a risk of them not returning. But always remember that you found them beautiful precisely because they were free.

People are like sunlight. You can feel their warmth and their glow, but you can't hold them in your hand and keep them with you forever.

- anonymous

fin