PARENTAL CONTROL

1. BPOV

It was one of those long afternoons after Jacob got me in trouble with the motorcycle where I had nothing to do. I had figured that stupid television shows could fill this time period quite nicely. And I was right, sort of. This particular afternoon I was watching Parental Control on MTV, when I heard my father's key turn in the door. What was he doing home? It was only 4:30.

"Dad?" I called.

"Yeah, hey, Bells. I got off early today. What are you watching?"

"Parental Control," I answered.

"I've never heard of that. What is it?" he asked.

"It's umm, this show where parents set up blind dates for their son or daughter 'cause they hate their boyfriend or girlfriend and want them to go out with one of the people they picked and break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend," I explained.

"Sounds cool. Mind if I watch?" he asked. I shook my head. Please don't get any ideas, I thought.

We watched a set of parents interview lots of guys, and then saw a girl go on very original dates with two guys, while her boyfriend made snide comments to her parents as they watched the dates, and then we saw the girl choose to go out with guy #1. Charlie was in awe.

"Do they always choose one of the blind dates?" he asked me when the show ended.

"Not always, sometimes they stick with their old boyfriend or girlfriend."

"Hmm," he said, then later, "I wonder what you would do."

I rolled my eyes. I would choose Edward, duh.

2. BPOV

Charlie spent the next few nights incessantly on the phone. It was odd. He barely ever talked on the phone. Barely ever. Something must be going on, I thought. I just wish I knew what. On Thursday, things just got weirder.

"Bells?" he said as I was doing dishes.

"Yeah?"

"I have to go out of town tomorrow, I'll be gone all day."

"Okay," I said, wondering where he had to go and why he seemed so nervous about telling me. Then again, it was Charlie, and he was probably just waiting for me to go crazy again. As if.

"Yeah. And you should invite Edward over on Saturday. All day, I'll make an exception."

"Cool. Thanks Dad." It didn't matter where he was going. I'd get to spend a whole day with Edward. I was happy, although I couldn't help but feel suspicious. Charlie hates Edward, and wants me to see him as little as possible. Why would he let me spend a whole Saturday with him? And was he going tomorrow? I thought I'd ask.

"Hey Dad?" I started.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you going tomorrow?"

"Oh, umm, just to Seattle. I have some, uh, business to do." What business could he possibly have in Seattle?

"Okay, well, have fun," I said, trying to sound enthusiastic instead of highly doubtful.

3. Charlie POV

I hated not being able to tell Bella about where I was going, but I was doing it for her own good, and besides, she'd know soon enough. I arrived at the building where we'd agreed to meet. I yawned. I hated getting up early. Sure, I had to get up early for work, but not as early as did today to get to Seattle on time for the meeting.

"Charlie!" Renee yelled as I stepped out of the cruiser.

"Hi," was all I could stifle as a response.

We walked in silence to the room they had set up for us, passing by a long line of teenage boys. Great, I thought, just great.

"Are you gonna say anything?" Renee asked right before we got there. I had hoped it would have gone smoother than this, but oh well. That's life. I hadn't really wanted to involve Renee in this anyway, but I had to.

"I'm just tired," I lied. Then later I added, "Are you ready to kick his butt or what?", trying to increase her enthusiasm for what we were about to do. And increase mine too for that matter.

"I guess. But I don't really see why we need to though, and he is truly incredibly good looking," she said. Great, she was in love with him too.

"Just act like you hate him, please." I begged. I wanted him gone, and badly.

We arrived and the interviews started. Some of the questions that MTV made us ask we ridiculous. Why should we care if our daughter's boyfriend can dance? Renee thought the whole thing was hilarious. I, on the other hand, thought it was just moronic. Why did I do this again? After a long day we settled on two guys. My pick was a guy named Jeremy, who was a freshman at Washington State and an English major. Renee picked a guy working for his uncle who didn't have a clue about what to do with his life, and her sole reasoning was that he was cute. She was crazy.

I drove home, hoping that today's headache paid off. I think my guy stood a pretty good chance. His words from the interview echoed through my head. "I would never do anything to hurt her. I'd be nice, and do stuff that she wants to do, etc." But the line that stuck out the most was this: "I would never leave her." Please, Bella, choose him, I thought. Or Renee's guy. He didn't seem so bad now that I thought about it. He was into art, and one day might have a career with that. He was eighteen, and just about to graduate high school, unlike my guy who'd already been through his first year of college. Well, I thought, we'll just have to see. Both Jeremy and Conner and Renee and a whole camera crew would be arriving at my house tomorrow morning at nine o' clock.

4. EPOV

"So, Alice, what's on the agenda for tomorrow?" I asked, knowing that she would be able to tell me if anything interesting was going to happen. It was Friday, and I had just gotten back from Bella's house and had to make my way to school.

"Well, umm, you're going to Bella's house, and then-" she didn't finish. Instead, she started laughing hysterically.

"What Alice?" I asked, since she had blocked her thoughts from me.

"I'm not telling you. You're just going to have to be surprised." Great.

"Wait, how can I go over to Bella's if she's grounded?" I asked, hoping that Charlie had decided to lift her house arrest.

"We should really get going Edward," Alice said and headed for the door.

The drive for school was horrible. I desperately wanted to know what was going to happen tomorrow, but Alice kept thinking about stupid little things and not the vision she'd had this morning. I waited in the parking lot until I saw Bella coming toward, a huge smile on her face.

"Hi," I said, taking her hand.

"Guess what?" she asked, bubbly.

"What?"

"Charlie said you can come over tomorrow! All day, but you have to be there at 8:30 sharp."

"I know," I said smiling. A whole day. It would be great.

"You know? How?" she asked, slightly confused. I pointed toward Alice. "Right," she said. Then later, "Does she know why Charlie's been acting so strange lately? And if it has anything to do with Saturday?" I shook my head. So Charlie's behind this, I thought.

"Oh well, what should we do?" she asked.

"I don't know, but now we should get to class."

5. BPOV

It was finally Saturday. After Edward left (only to return shortly in about an hour) I showered, and got ready for the day. I went down to get breakfast, and saw Charlie and Renee sitting at the kitchen counter.

"Mom!" I shrieked. What was she doing here? I ran to her and gave her a hug. It'd been too long.

"Hi Bella," she said, "It's good to see you."

"You too. What are you doing here?"

"You'll see," she replied, smiling widely. Uh-oh, something is definitely up, and I don't think it's a good thing.

We talked for awhile about her life in Florida, and Phil and how he wanted to come but it didn't really work out. At that I asked, "And what occasion would Phil want to come here for?" She laughed and said it was a secret. I pressed for more information, but she decided to change the subject.

"So, how are things with you and Edward?" I preferred the other topic.

"Good," I said, not really wanting to explain to my mother how excited I was to become a vampire, and explain why I didn't want to marry him, at least for now.

"Well, that's good, I suppose."

"Yeah," I said, hoping she'd drop it. Luckily, Edward rang the doorbell right after I spoke.

"Speaking of the devil," I said as I went to answer the door.

There was a huge smile across his face that was oddly similar to Renee's. Except, hers wasn't as beautiful.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked him quietly.

He nodded.

"What?" I pressed.

"You'll see soon. I just hope you choose me."

I was about to complain, but then a whole camera crew walked in and a guy in blue jeans and a polo shirt explained to us that we were on Parental Control, and how the day was going to work. I was shocked, although I don't know why I didn't figure it out. It was kind of obvious. Charlie, in awe of the show. Charlie, inviting Edward over. Renee being here. Charlie going to Seattle. It added up. I did hate being the only one left in the dark though.

We took a seat on the couch, me and Edward on side, my parents on the other, and Joey (the camera guy) right in front of us. As he adjusted the shot, and told everyone what they needed to say for their one on one camera interviews, I started to become nervous. What if I knew the guys that my parents had picked? What if they were guys I knew? What if they were guys like Tyler or Mike and they got the wrong idea? That would be horrible. Edward seemed to sense this, and put his hand on my knee and asked if I was alright. I nodded. He seemed tense too. I wondered why, and then it hit me. But he couldn't seriously be afraid that I'd choose one of the blind dates over him, could he? Unless he knew something I didn't. Uh-oh.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said, "Just that your parents don't like me very much."

I laughed. "Isn't that obvious if we're on the show?"

"Yeah, but the reasons they have for not liking me that'll appear on TV are total bogus."

"I'm sorry. What are they anyway? I can't even think of one."

"They think I'm clingy, they think that I don't care about you, that I get jealous and won't let you hang out with anyone besides me, and that I only want you for your body." He fumed. He was mad now.

"What?" I said, bewildered. "None of those are true!"

"Yeah, but I guess it doesn't really matter."

"Look on the bright side, there won't be any confusion in their heads when I turn up dead." I said, trying to lighten his mood. It didn't work.

"Yeah, now they'll just have an easier time blaming me. Real helpful."

"It's SHOW TIME!" Joey yelled, and we all got into position to do what we were told.

6. EPOV

This was not good. Not good at all, and there were so many reasons behind that, with some bigger than others. First, Bella's parents didn't like me and were trying to replace me...on national television! I knew Charlie never really liked me, and it didn't bother me so much. The big problem was the national television. Sure, it might be fun to be on the show as the "loser" boyfriend who makes inappropriate jabs at the parents that already hate him, but the big problem was the fame that might come. What if people who saw the show recognized me ten years later, looking exactly? Appearing on national TV isn't exactly the best way to remain inconspicuous, and hide the fact that you and your family are vampires. I guess I can't really get too mad at Charlie though. He didn't know, and nor did I ever want him to.

The doorbell rang, and Renee went to answer it. This must be blind date number 1. A guy about my height walked in with messy blonde hair, jeans, and a very ratty old t-shirt.

"I'm Conner," he said extending a hand first to me, then Bella. I laughed at him, as I had been told to do. All forms of politeness were to be thrown out the window in my case.

"Hi, Conner," Bella said, shaking his hand. She seemed nervous. Poor Bella. I just hoped she didn't trip or do something so totally Bella while she was out with this guy and I couldn't be there to save her. And I know she'd hate falling on national television. What couldn't go wrong today?

Wow, she's hot. And she seems really nervous. I hope she chooses me. That boyfriend of hers looks kinda scary...

Great, this can worse. I get hear how excited these guys are to go out on a date with my girlfriend, and how 'scary' I am. I'm not that scary, though, am I? You'd think I'd be scarier to those who actually knew what I was. But his thoughts continued. Maybe I would do a good job acting the part of jealous whiny loser boyfriend who you always see on the show.

Ok, so maybe he's not scary, scary. More like secret serial-killer scary. You know, those guys who seem so perfect, and everybody loves them, and it turns out that they're actually mass killers? That's what he looks like. Maybe if I can go out with her, and then like, be his friend, he won't kill me when he goes nuts on a killing spree...Man, I did not like this guy. What an idiot! Oh well. Soon I wouldn't have to hear his thoughts, just his words and actions. I continued to glare at him though as he and Bella walked out the door.

Nothing happened for awhile. Another guy from the crew went to mess with Charlie's TV so that we could watch Bella and Conner go on their date. I'd taken it that they hadn't arrived yet, as the image on the TV was just an empty field and people setting up things in the distance. This was going to be torture. It hadn't even started, and I couldn't wait for it to end.

Finally, people arrived on the screen. All eyes in the living room became fixed on the television.

7. BPOV

The ride to the actual date sight was nerve-racking. We rode in silence, whether we were trying to save all of our conversation for the camera, or we just had nothing to say, I couldn't tell, but it was awkward. I hate awkward silences. Conner looked nervous, and I wondered what he was thinking. I wonder if he thought he might win. Poor guy, he didn't have a chance. My mind was made up long before this even started.

We arrived, and the camera was on us.

"So, what are we doing?" I asked, looking around at the white furniture that didn't seem to fit in with its surrounding, the middle of a field.

"Well, I really like to paint, and one way to paint that's not that hard and really fun is splatter paint! So, we're going to be splatter painting these chairs today. What do you think?"

"Sounds fun. Let's try it." There. That sounded like something I was supposed to say, wasn't it?

"Ok, and then you might want to wear this," he said handing me a huge white jumpsuit that looked like something that belonged on a prisoner.

"Why?" I asked, horrified at the thought of wearing that on national television.

"So you don't get your clothes dirty," he explained. Of course! But still, it was pretty ugly. "Although, if you want to get your clothes dirty that's fine too, but I wouldn't if I were you. They're very cute."

I smiled, I couldn't help it. I imagined the things that Edward was probably supposed to be saying to my parents right now. It made me laugh.

"What's so funny?" Conner asked.

"Nothing," I lied, "I just haven't done splatter paint since I was really little."

"Oh, need help remembering?" he asked coming toward me with a paint covered brush in his hand.

I shook my head, and flicked the paint brush at a previously all white coffee table. We continued doing this for what seemed like a long time, and then all the furniture pieces were covered with multi-colored paint strands.

"Well," said Conner, admiring our work, "What do you say about a bite to eat?"

"Yeah, I'm starved," I lied.

We went over to a picnic table covered with sandwiches nearby and started to eat.

"So, what don't your parents like about your boyfriend?" He asked. I wanted to tell him to shove off, that it really wasn't any of his business, but then I remembered the show. Thanks to them, it was his business.

"Um, I think they don't like him because he's a v-. Never mind" Crap! I stopped myself. Where was this coming from? They didn't know he was a vampire, how could they hate him for it? What were the reasons Edward told me earlier? And why does that seem so long ago? This is bad, very bad.

"No, tell me. He's a what?"

"A virgo," I stated, hoping that that would cover up my little slip where I nearly said 'vampire'.

"A virgo?" he repeated dumbfounded, "Your parents don't like your boyfriend because he's a virgo?"

"Well, yeah. 'Cause I'm a Gemini, and our signs don't work together."

"Um, okay, that's cool, I guess." The look of confusion and disbelief was so clear on his face, it was almost funny. I wondered what his expression would have been if I'd really said vampire.

"Yeah, so what do you do?" I asked trying to keep conversation going, for the show's sake.

"I'm a waiter part time at my uncle's restaurant, and then I paint in my free time. I wanna be famous one day. What about you?"

"Well, I'm still a senior in high school, and I work at a store," I answered, hoping I didn't sound completely idiotic.

"I'm a senior too. Well, we should really get going. I'm sure your boyfriend's going to want you back."

"Ok," I said, getting up from the table. And then the worst thing happened. I tripped, and fell flat on my face. "Ow!"

"Are you okay?" Conner asked.

"Fine. I trip all the time. No big deal." And I was hoping to stop that, but for now, I could at least be grateful that this was the first time I fell during the whole date and that I didn't fall near the paint.

We left, and I was so happy to get home and see Edward, and be away from Conner. That was the worst date of my life! Although, to be fair, Edward had made all the other ones I'd been on perfect, so there wasn't really a fair chance for comparison.

"How'd it go?" Charlie asked as I came through the door.

I shrugged, and then after a menacing glance from Jerry, I added, "Fun."

I sat down beside Edward, hoping I could talk to him for a little before the next guy shows up.

"Have fun?" I asked him, sitting in his lap.

"Sure," he replied indifferently.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing. You just looked pretty unhappy there, and there wasn't anything I could do to help," he confessed. I smiled. He was so sweet.

"It was fine," I lied to reassure him, "besides, I'm half way done now."

"Ok, would you do me a favor?" he asked.

"Of course," I'd do anything for him.

"Make this next one interesting."

"Ok."

He smiled. "Oh, and by the way. You're the virgo. My sign is Gemini."

I laughed. That was pretty ironic considering I just picked those signs randomly.

There was a knock at the door, and a guy stepped through it. Here we go again.

8. EPOV