I never did understand what I was seeing. At the age I was, all that mattered to me was whatever 5 year old boys liked. I was too young for girls, but too old for the Wiggles. You just don't have anything you truly love when you're 5.

It'd started when my sister Hana came home one night with a grin on her face, and smiled that way all throughout dinner. She slept like a rock that night.
I overheard her talking to Ma the next morning at breakfast, she'd said she had a crush on a boy she had met in school.
Ma was real proud, I was real apathetic. My grape juice was helluva lot more important than some boy my sister had her heart set on.

2 days later, Hana came home after ninja practice; grinning even bigger.
"He held my hand when we were walking back from the training grounds!" she'd told us ten hundred times over the course of one, chicken and potato dinner.
Ma smiled and kept saying, "well ain't that cute! Right Kiba!"
I'd just took a sip of my milk and complained about eating my carrots.

The next day, she came home skipping and twirling around. Joyfully laughing to herself. I could have sworn she was glowing like a lantern.
"Oh Ma! You should have seen him! He picked me up and hugged me and told me I was cute!" my sister squealed the second she pranced into the living room.
"That's great, hun!" Ma squealed back.
"I get hugs alllll the time…" I muttered to myself, tearing out a page from my coloring book.

Not too much later, Hana flew through the door, soaking wet from the downpour outside but smiling ear to ear. Oddly, she didn't rush to tell us anything, she just sat at dinner after changing into dry clothes and twirled ramen around her chopsticks, humming some upbeat song, her face all squinted with a big smile. Ma kept glancing at her to make sure she wasn't going to explode or anything.
After dinner, we went our own ways. Hana went to her room(I think), Ma went into the garage and I sat on Ma's bed watching Spongebob. But I hardly made it through the first set of commercials before Hana sped in, leaped onto the bed and stared at me excitedly.
"Kibakibakibakibakiba!" she pawed at the remote and turned the TV off.
"Whaaaaattya want Hana!" I whined, a little frustrated that I was missing my show.
"Guess what he did today!" Hana scooched closer to me. But before I could guess, she outbursted, "He kissed me! In the rain! Kinda like Spiderman! But not upside down!"

I'd told her kissing was yucky and giving up on the TV, I began to make GI Joe beat up a plastic dinosaur. Hana rolled her eyes at me as she got off the bed and walked out with her hands on her hips.

Of course, I was confused! At this age I didn't understand why was Hana so happy about this. To me, it was just a guy! She'd known him for a week, so I didn't get what the big deal was.
But I was missing something big. I knew she'd been with this guy for a week or so. Though had I seen him? No. Had Ma seen him? No.
I didn't find out he was an 14 year old idiot, she was an 11 year old genius until it was too late. Something was wrong and I didn't open my eyes enough to even see it.

Hana came home the next day holding a hand over her mouth, but her bright, tearless eyes told me everything was okay.
Dinner came and she was bouncing in her chair. "Oh Ma! He said he loved me! He said he'll never ever let me go! This is the greatest day everrrrr!" she smiled.
Ma nodded, but something in her expression told me she was confused. "He said that...?" she asked.
Hana nodded.
"What did you say back?" Ma leaned forward, putting her fork down.
Hana answered this with ease, "Oh! I told him that he's the greatest and I love him even more! We're gonna be together forever and ever and ever!"
"Okay… 'course you will… honey" Ma got up from the table and put her dish on the counter, she walked into the garage. Hana didn't seem to understand why Ma's reaction was different from yesterday's. I didn't understand either(that wasn't the first time in the last week).

When I was laying in bed one Friday night, Hana walked quietly into my room wearing all black.
"Hana?" I asked, "Why are you not wearin' your pajam-ers?"
My sister just giggled and said, "because I'mma gonna go see him tonight! He said he's gonna take me to the park!"
"You be sneakin' ouuut?" I gasped.
"Well duh! You know Ma won't be lettin' me out the door past my bed time!"
"No Hana! Sneakin' out's baaad! Real baaad!" I'd stood up and walked over to her.
"Silly kiba! It aint bad if I get back home before school! Ma'll never find out! I'll just be there at the park with him for a lil' bit! Don't worry Kiba!" and with that, Hana climbed through the window in my room and landed on the ground below. I watched her run off down the road until she was no longer in sight, and then I anxiously went to sleep.

Around midnight, I woke up having to go to the bathroom. I slid out of bed, forgetting Hana had left.
Walking down the dark hallway, I saw a light peeking through the bathroom door, it was open just a crack. I'd thought it was Ma, she stayed up real late on some nights. So I just stood outside and waited for her to come out, shifting my weight from one foot to the other to remove the urge to pee.

But then I heard crying from inside the bathroom. Rapid but quiet coughs of tears.
My stomach felt super heavy, but I slowly shuffled closer to the door.
Another dry sob, followed by a sniffle.
I hesitantly peeked through the doorway, trying to be as quiet as possible but I was worried my beating heart might give me away.

The light was too bright at first, my eyes had to adjust a bit. And when they did, I let out a mix between a little gasp and a squeak.

I saw her. Hana. Bent over the sink, coughing and rubbing her eyes. It was a scary sight, of course. The back of her shirt was torn a bit, and from what I could see, she had dirt and bruises painted across her arms and face. Strands of dark hair were loose from the braid it was in before she left.
She left.
She left.
She left.
I gasped even louder when I remembered she'd snuck out to see her boy. My first thought was that she got jumped or attacked by bad people on her way there.

Hana sniffled, putting her arms down and staring at her reflection in the mirror. She stifled a few more cries before she said, "Don't tell Ma… Kiba…"

She'd seen me somehow. So I gave up on peeking and opened the door to reveal myself, standing in the doorway with wide eyes and a stuffed wolf under my arm. She walked over to me and looked down at my scared expression.
"Wh- wh- happen to you!" I squeaked.
Hana wiped her eyes with the back of her bleeding hand. But she didn't say anything, she tried to smile but she didn't say anything.
I just winced at the sight.
"Hana pleassee! Why are y'hurtt!" I begged, walking closer to her.

She shakily crouched down on one knee.
"Kiba." She started, choking on my name, "if you ever… find a nice girl… that you love-" tears started to fall from her eyes, and mine too. "don't you… ever tell her you… love… her… unless it's absolutely… true!" she lunged forward and took me into her. I closed my eyes and nodded-

"I understand…"