Yay for random oneshots! Co-written by Mus, aka TwilightXari. Funny story in writing this. This is all based off a true night we had when she slept over and we decided to voice-rp Gwendal and Gunter and...this happened. It's not quite in order of actual events and the "plot" is somewhat cleaned up...I guess. Yeah.

ANYWHO, Gwendal and Gunter don't belong to us, they belong to the creators of KKM. We own this little story, though, so there :p


It was the dead of night and Gwendal was contently snuggled in his own bed in his own castle. While Blood Pledge Castle was wonderful, he much preferred the place in which he grew up. For one thing, there were less heists that had to do with King Yuri's hero complex, not to mention less fights between the boy in question and Wolfram. Yes, Gwendal loved his brothers, but they got on his nerves. Anissina was also often a bother, but she was back at Blood Pledge and therefore not a bother at the moment. So, Gwendal slept peacefully for once.

Until something heavy with limbs crawled onto his bed and crawled under the blankets with him. Gwendal woke up to a certain person latched completely onto him, fast asleep.

"…Günter…What are you doing?"

"Hm?"

"Günter, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but you're in my bed." Gwendal tried to nudge him so he'd realize he was also clinging to the owner of said bed and let go.

Günter un-clung a bit. But only a bit. "I know."

"...Why aren't you in your own bed?" Uncomfortable wiggle.

"...I was lonely..."

"Surely there's someone else who will let you share their bed. I'm not much for sharing." With anybody. Ever. Except the cats.

"But I don't want to share with someone else..."

Gwendal looked down at him and got a huge whiff of alcoholic breath. Ah, that explained it. "How much have you been drinking?"

Günter considered that for a moment. "Not that much..."

"How much?" Gwendal growled, not about to spend much more time arguing with him, since he was tired.

"Um, a couple glasses..."

Gwendal sighed irritatedly. "Either way, go back to your own bed. If you feel lonely, go ahead and take a stuffed animal with you." He could be kind every once in a while, even when highly annoyed.

Günter resumed clinging to him. "But you're warm...and cuddly..."

"Rrrg... I don't care. You're not sharing my bed. Sleep on the floor if you don't want to go to your own room."

He fixed Gwendal with the sweetest, widest eyes he'd ever seen in a human being. "But - "

"..." Gwendal was hooked. "Fine...But no more clinging."

"Yay!" Günter hugged him, then let go and gave him a little space. Finally.

Gwendal sighed a little in relief and settled down to sleep. But not for long, because Günter began creeping closer almost immediately, like a cat named Günter being drawn to a sunbeam named Gwendal. If, of course, Gwendal was sunny, which he most certainly was not.

"Günter..." Gwendal growled warningly.

Günter just snuggled closer.

"...Günter...Günter...Günter!"

He jerked awake, but didn't let go. "Wha?"

"You're clinging again."

"Oh, sorry..." He didn't let go.

"...Günter. Let. Go."

"Do I have to?" Günter pouted cutely.

"Yes."

"Alright," he mumbled, releasing him and scooting away to give him some space.

Gwendal hoped he wouldn't do that again, and if he did, he hoped to not wake up before morning. Zzz...

And then Günter started to snore.

THAT WAS IT. Gwendal picked Günter up and deposited him on the floor. He at least gave him a pillow and blanket as well.

Günter didn't wake up one bit. He just cuddled the pillow and continued snoring, loudly. Gwendal pulled his own pillow over his head to escape the snoring. A few minutes later, Günter jerked awake mid-snore. "Did you hear that?"

Gwendal snorted awake, having just been dozing off, and said so articulately, "Hn?"

"I just heard something. ...You don't snore, do you?"

"No, I don't. You, however, do."

"I do? No I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No I don't."

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Well, now I am. You snore. Loudly."

"But I've never snored! Then again, I suppose there's never been anyone to tell me if I did..."

"Yeah. You snore."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Lie on your side and go back to sleep." He got comfortable again.

Günter cuddled his pillow again and tried to get back to sleep. ...And once again started to snore.

Gwendal found some earplugs and put them in. Zzz...

He was woken up around fifteen minutes by someone yelling and something running into the side of his bed very hard. Gwendal immediately sat up and grabbed his sword from beside his bed. "What's going-...Günter, what are you going on about?" Seeing no imminent danger, he put his sword down on the mattress.

"Gwendal, the dust bunnies under your wardrobe are moving!" Günter was pressed against the edge of the bed, as far as he could get from said wardrobe and its dust bunny inhabitants.

"...What?" Gwendal couldn't fully process that at the time...

"There are dust bunnies under your wardrobe, and they were coming towards me!"

"...Günter, they're just dust bunnies. I'm sure it's just a draft."

"How do you know?" Günter demanded, turning to stare at him with big wide eyes.

"Dust bunnies aren't sentient."

"But what if they are? You don't know that they aren't!"

"They are clumps of dust and hair. They are definitely not sentient," Gwendal enunciated. "You can stay up here if you're going to keep freaking out. Just go back to sleep."

"Alright..." If the dust bunnies were alive, which they certainly were to be coming toward him in such a creepy fashion, then they couldn't climb. Yes, they couldn't climb and he was safe, especially with Gwendal there to protect him. Ah, big, strong Gwendal... So, Günter pulled his blanket from the floor, shook it to make sure no evil dust bunnies had gotten onto it, and snuggled under it to go back to sleep.

Not long later, when both men had just started to doze, Günter had decided that Gwendal was quite lovely for nightly snuggling and so had attached to his side and arm. Gwendal decided he really didn't care at this point, so ignored him since he wasn't being as intrusive as he usually was during the day and forced his mind to clear. However, just a moment after that, something weighty but not heavy jumped up onto Gwendal's mattress at the bottom. Gwendal knew what it was, but Günter didn't. So, Günter looked up.

"AAAAAH!" Günter's entire body shot to fill a small space up by Gwendal's arm and abdomen in order to cling to him in fear. "IT'S A GIANT DUST BUNNY! KILL IT, KILL IT!"

"...Günter...That's a cat."

"No, it's a giant dust bunny! I can see it!"

"I can see it, too. That's just a grey, fluffy cat." Gwendal forced himself into a sitting position, feeling heavy from exhaustion.

"I don't believe you," Günter hissed, clinging closer to Gwendal since it was easier now that they were both sitting up. Gwendal ignored him and leaned forward to coax the cat nearer so he could pull it into his lap and show Günter properly, which he did.

"See? It's a cat."

"Oh...It's a cute cat, too!" Günter scritched the cat's ears, having apparently forgotten that he'd just been freaking out about the poor creature a moment ago.

"There, now go back to sleep." The irritated Gwendal put the cat at the end of the bed again and slipped out of Günter's grip to lie back down. Günter stayed sitting up so he could lean over and continue to pet the furball. Gwendal became dead to the world. Until the cat decided to jump off the bed and play with the dust bunnies.

"WOOH, YAY, GO CAT, KILL THEM!" Günter had moved to sit cross-legged at the edge of the bed so he could watch the cat attack the evil dust bunnies and practice some cheerleading. Gwendal was up like a shot and grabbing Günter by the arm and towing him toward the door.

"That's it," the angry man growled as he grabbed the doorknob and twisted. It didn't give. "...Locked? Then how did you and the cat get in? I know I didn't lock it..."

"I didn't lock it," said Günter innocently and contritely, not wanting to anger Gwendal further. "Maybe a maid locked it when she noticed it was open from the cat coming in?"

"Possibly." Gwendal went digging around for his key, but couldn't find it, of course. "What a shitty night this is..." he grumbled to himself, looking outside to see if he could estimate the time. It was only a few hours until sunrise and he had gotten next to no sleep. Great, just great. He wondered how tying Günter up and gagging him would work...

"I'm sorry, I'll sleep on the floor again and be quiet, I promise," said Günter sweetly, moving to quickly do that so Gwendal could finally get to sleep. Gwendal sighed and supposed they had no choice but to wait for someone to walk by in the morning and hear them screaming and pounding on the door for someone to let them out. Yeah, wonderful. He was definitely looking forward to that.

"Don't worry about it." After all, Gwendal had been in worse situations thanks to his pale sometimes-companion which left him with pounding headaches and plenty of messes to clean up, so he could handle it. Gwendal could handle anything.

"Gwendal...My blanket is covered in dust-bunnies!" shrieked Günter when he finally looked at the blanket he'd pulled off the ground.

...Well, he could handle anything except that for much longer.