"So after presenting the band with the precious gemstone on it, you ask if your loved one would marry you. That is the right word, correct?"
Kaidan still hadn't gotten used to Thane's poetic way of speaking, but it didn't interfere with their current conversation, which had started out as simply as a quick greeting in the mess hall. Kaidan had been returning from a chat with Garrus in the main batteries when Thane bid him good morning, refilling the mug which never seemed to move from his desk. The dark-haired man had responded with small talk, after which the drell invited him back to Life Support, as he had a few questions. There was never any doubt about who they were speaking of.
"That's generally how it goes," Kaidan murmurs, nodding and looking down at his desk, wondering how drell culture was different. He had referred to Irikah as his wife—was it just the translator picking up the closest word? He could worry about that later. Right now, there was a question hanging heavy in the air, and he knew he had to ask it.
"This is about Shepard, isn't it? You're going to ask her."
After he spoke, there was a long silence, Thane trying to search for the right words. Kaidan preoccupied himself with once again searching the desk. Only after peering into Thane's mug—Is that hot chocolate?—did he get an answer.
"I love her. Normally I would wait a while longer, since it seems a bit early to, ah, propose. However, I'm dying, and I want her to know the depths of my feelings. What could have been."
The small smile that had been building at the corners of Kaidan's mouth quickly faded at the last sentence. He may still have lingering feelings for Shepard, but he had accepted Thane, and even come to like the drell. It was obvious he cared for Shepard, and after seeing the way his commander reacted when Thane fell during a mission, those strong feelings seemed to be returned. He wanted them to be happy, and Thane's last sentence foreshadowed something far more tragic.
"Shepard's been talking with Mordin and Dr. Chakwas non-stop for the last couple of days," Kaidan says quietly, folding his hands in his lap. "I'm sure she has something up her sleeve. I haven't heard anything specific, but your name's the one that's come up." A lie of omission, but he doubted Thane would either notice or care in his current state.
Thane shook his head at this, as if Kaidan had just told a barely amusing joke. It was clear that he didn't believe anything would cure him, and when studying the drell's face, Kaidan came to a startling realization. It was the same face he himself had studied in the mirror in the hours following Eden Prime, waiting for Shepard to wake up. There was some small bit of hope, but it was overshadowed by fear and overwhelming shame.
Not sure how to continue, he decided to change the topic somewhat. "I was listening to the radio this morning. There was a lot of talk about you and Shepard…seems like some scientists are angry. Something about how Shepard's genes, and how if she's with you there's no chance of a child. Apparently it's started a lot of alternative procedures—trying to replicate what the Asari do, only with a fully human child instead."
There was a soft chuckle from the man sitting across from him. "I heard. Siha isn't pleased—she claims they're trying to find ways to impregnate her without bothering to ask if she even wanted children. I'm not worried—she'll have children someday."
"Thane." Kaidan surprised himself with the commanding tone of voice. He probably shouldn't have been startled—he was a commander. But while on Shepard's ship, he felt like a lieutenant again, letting her take control. "You're leading up to something. What are you trying to say?"
"There was something else I was going to ask, beyond the human idea of marriage," Thane admitted, taking a small sip from his mug before continuing. "I will not be around much longer. Whether the Kepral's takes me, or I'm claimed in battle, Shepard will be alone. Hopefully she'll have my ring to remember me by, but I must remember she isn't a drell. In time the pain from my death will fade, and she will want to move on, to have a real family."
"And you want me to be there, to be the one she moves on to."
"She loved you. And you loved her. You will take care of her." Thane didn't exactly look at peace, but it was clear he had thought about it for quite some time, and deemed this the best course of action. Kaidan, on the other hand, shook his head slowly.
"Shepard loves you…more than she loved me." It was painful to say, but the lump in his throat wasn't as large as the last time he had thought this, and the time before. He was healing. "She won't want this. Besides, I already told you, she's up to something. She's not letting you go that easily."
"I believe that. But if it doesn't work, take care of her. Please."
Something about the raw emotion in that last word prompted Kaidan to stand up, and squeeze the drell's shoulder in an act of comfort. "I'll take care of her as best I can." Though I know it won't come down to that. I won't let it. "We're heading near the Citadel. If you want help picking out a ring for Shepard, I'll come along."
"Thank you." A small but noticeable smile appeared over Thane's face, and that was enough for Kaidan. He nodded once, and left Life Support, heading down to the Medical Bay to see how the lung transplant plans were coming along. He knew what it was like to lose someone you loved, to know they died gasping for breath. Shepard was not going to suffer. Not again.