THEN THERE WAS LIGHT
CHAPTER 1
"Dean!"
Dean heard Sam's scream first, then everything around him went completely black, the darkness was back. In a second's time a flash of bright, white light shocked the darkness around him. The screams and pain in his head was gone, replaced by the blinding light that felt like it was burning his eyes.
Dean, closed his eyes as tight as he could, followed by a scream. Then he collapsed to the ground.
Everything went blank. He was floating, in an endless space of white emptiness. His body laid, motionless on the ground, his soul, gone, floating away from the darkness that once held it in its grips.
The air was clear. Dean felt like he could breath with no problems. The peacefulness was overwhelming. The silence, was welcomed. The screaming had stopped. The pain, gone. Dean was floating on a cloud of light.
He floated past an image, a memory.
He was just a little boy. Maybe 3 years old. He was at the park with his mom. She was pushing him on a swing while he giggled. Dad had just got off work, Dean jumped from the moving swing as soon as he saw him.
"Daddy!" He ran to into his dad's arms, being lifted into the air.
"Hey there buddy, you and Mom playing?"
"Yes!" Dean announced with a huge grin across his face.
Mary had walked up beside them, rubbed her hand across Dean's back and gave John a kiss. "How was work today?"
"It was a busy day, but it's all good now that I'm back with my family!"
Dean hugged his arms around his dad's neck.
"Someone has been waiting for his dad to go down the slide with him." Mary announced.
"They have? And who would that be?"
"ME, Daddy!" Dean giggled.
"You? Well then, what do you say you and me go down the slide together?"
"Yayyyy!"
Dean laughed and giggled the rest of the day, wrapping his little arms around his daddy's neck on the way back home.
Dean floated away from that image. He didn't want to leave it, he wanted to stay in that memory forever. But, he continued to float in the feeling of peacefulness.
Passing another image of a memory of him being young, enjoying the perfect Mom and the perfect Dad. He kissed his mommy's tummy, loving on his little brother. The feeling of excitement waiting for his baby brother to enter the world.
Floating past that image he saw another one, the day little Sammy was born. He was so excited, jumping with joy. He couldn't sit still as he sat in the back seat of his beloved car on the way to the hospital. The moment he saw his baby brother for the first time, he felt the instant connection. The bond that could never be broken. He didn't want to leave his brother. But, Daddy insisted he could see him again, but Mommy and Sammy had to stay at the hospital, which meant Dean got to spend lots of time alone with Daddy. He was so excited about the new change in his life.
Floating through the light, image after image of happy times passed by him. His childhood, passing by him in a dream state of peaceful light. He didn't want to leave, ever. He wanted to remain in the warmth and comfort that came with the light. He had never felt so much warmth, so much love in his life.
Sam was knocked against the wall, unconscious when the flash of light came. He woke with a headache, his vision blurry. He opened his eyes, blinking a few times before his vision starting clearing. It took him a few minutes to remember where he was at.
"Dean!" Sam tried to make his way to his brother. It took him more than one try to get his legs to cooperate, to get his balance to even out.
Once he had made his way to Dean's side, he took a quick inventory of the sight in front of him. Dean was laid out, unconscious. He wasn't responding, no matter how hard Sam tried to wake him. The cave had become cold with the lack of the fire. He scooped his brother up into his arms, pulling him away from the place that once held the pile of death.
Laying the sleeping bag in a nearby corner he placed Dean on it, covering him. He then went and gathered the wood he needed and started a fire to keep them both warm.
Sam made his way under the cover with his big brother, wrapping his body around him in a protective manner, and for the much needed warmth.
He then saw the image of the night his life changed, only this time it was different, this time it wasn't full of darkness. There was love and concern in this dad's eyes. Something he had never noticed before. He was scared when he placed Baby Sammy into Dean's arms, but also concerned for their safety above his own. His main priority was to make sure his boys were safe. Then second, he had to try to save his wife. Concern for his own life fell last.
Dean stood in the yard, holding his brother close to him, watching the flames through the window, when his dad scooped them up and pulled them to safety right before the window exploded, leaving shards of broken glass and splinted wood covering the place Dean once stood.
There was warmth and comfort in his dad's arms. Something else he had never noticed before. He was loving and concerned about them, making sure they were okay. There was so much going on around them. So many lights and noises, all the emergency vehicles that surrounded them. Sammy started crying and Dean was scared, so, their dad pulled them away from it all.
He carried them to the place that Dean would learn to find so much comfort in, to their car. John sat the boys on the trunk, then joined them. Wrapping his arm around Dean and holding Sammy tight in his arms. He comforted them, keeping them safe by his side.
This was the dad Dean remembered from his childhood, but why had he never noticed the love and comfort from that night? All he remembered was the darkness, the pain, he hadn't noticed how gentle his dad's arms were. How calming his words came out. He soothed them both, telling them everything would be okay. Reassuring them that he knew they were scared, but he would keep them both safe.
He had a lot to do, he had to talk to all the cops and firefighters. But, he never left his boys alone when he did that. He wasn't concerned about what the cops or anyone else wanted, he was concerned about his boys and their need to feel safe at that moment. Especially Dean. Dad was especially attentive to Dean. Sammy was just a baby, he didn't understand what was going on, but Dean was old enough to know, old enough to be scared.
Once things had calmed down, he buckled Sammy up in his car seat, told Dean to stay in the car with him, to watch him. He said he had to go into the house for some things. Dean waited. He remembers expecting his mom to come out with Dad. But, that's not what he saw this time. This time, he realized his dad left them alone, in the car, because the house wasn't safe, because he didn't want Dean to suffer from any nightmares of what just happened.
He realized if he would have seen the house after everything else that had happened then he may not have been able to be as strong as he was. But, John had to go back in. The firefighters told him he could, but to be careful. The fire was mostly contained to the nursery. John gathered some clothes for the boys, Dean's favorite blanket, a few toys that were in the living room, and some diapers and wipes, bottles, formula, the basic needs for them for the next couple nights.
When John put the items in the trunk, and handed Dean his comfort blanket, he told him they were going to stay in a motel that night. Dean had felt so much more comfortable with his blanket. He was glad his dad brought it. Dean realized the hurt in his dad's eyes, but also the need to make everything okay. He tried to make it sound fun, tried to make it something Dean would be excited about. It worked, at least for that moment. He hadn't realized before just how much his dad had tried to keep Dean comforted.
That night, for a moment, John held Dean in his lap, brushing his fingers through his hair, holding him tight against his body. John needed the comfort of knowing his boy was okay, as much as Dean needed the comfort of knowing his dad was okay. They both needed the reminder that they weren't alone. Dean remembered, laying with his head pressed against his dad's chest, he could hear his heartbeat. It was comforting, and put him to sleep while he laid in his dad's arms.
Dean couldn't understand why he had never noticed these things before. The images continued, and even though John didn't speak much, or acknowledge his kids, Dean felt different about it. He could feel the heartache, the loss that his dad felt. The depression he had slipped into. He noticed, he tried to pull himself out of it. There were small moments that he would try hard to smile at them, or acknowledge their needs. He would hold Dean close, making sure he knew his dad was still there, he may not have been in a good place, but he was still there.
Their days were filled with things that John didn't want to involve the kids in. He realized, they were all funeral arrangements, and viewing what little was left of Mary's body. He had to talk to people about what happened that night. And, he had to gather more items they would need from the house.
Dean got upset because he felt like his dad was ignoring them, not allowing them to be with him during those things, but now, he realized he did it to protect them from any further heartaches. He loved them so much he protected them anyway he could.
When they were allowed to go into the house, Dad told them not to leave the living room. But, Dean didn't listen. He put Sammy in a safe place and went upstairs. John got so mad, but he didn't remember the fear and anger, he only noticed the fear of concern.
John was upset because the house wasn't safe enough for Dean to be wandering around, and, he also didn't want any memories to intensify by him seeing the damage to the house. He knew how hard it was to see the after effects. He had seen them himself, and wanted to spare his son from the heartache, but Dean wouldn't listen, he was always a wanderer, he always had to see everything there was to see. He was so curious about everything. It didn't surprise John that he had went upstairs, but he let his concern and fear for his safety to come out as anger.
It didn't take much for Dean to notice how overwhelmed his dad got with everything. Dean didn't like his dad letting other people take care of Sammy, but, he realized now, it was because he was just so overwhelmed with everything, so heartbroken, so much depression had set in, that he didn't want to have to worry about the baby, and didn't want Dean to have to worry either. After all, he was just a little boy himself, it wasn't right for him to shoulder all the concern on his own.
Dean started stirring in his unconscious state, waking Sam from his sleep. Sam placed a comforting hand on Dean's chest to calm him. But, it wasn't a nightmare, this was something different. Sam could tell. Dean's heart beat was slow and even. His breathing, the same, slow and even. Like he was comfortable, more than just comfortable, like he was at peace.
Dean let out a low groan, opening his eyes slightly. It took him a few minutes and several long blinks to bring his world back into focus. His eyes had to adjust to the colors that surrounded him, it wasn't complete whiteness like before. The only brightness was coming from the glow of the fire. But, somehow Dean felt different. He didn't feel a heavy, dark weight anymore, he felt light, peace, like he was safe and everything was good.
"Hey, Dean, hey there. You alright?"
Dean nodded his head, pushing himself to a seated position. "Yeah, I'm good."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, actually, I feel great."
"What the hell happened?"
"I'm not sure, but everything feels different, everything is great now. How about we get out of here? There's a whole world out there, full of wonders, that we need to see."
Sam just stared, dumbfounded, at his brother. Since when did Dean become the upbeat, positive one? "Uh, yeah, okay, I'm not sure what time it is, it might still be dark out."
"That's alright, the fresh coolness of the moon lit sky would be nice."
Sam was still questioning the sudden change in his brother, but didn't disagree when he wanted to leave. Sam had enough of this place. If he never had to come back to this cave again that would be fine by him.
Dean packed their items and carried the bag. He enjoyed the walk back to the car. He chatted to Sam about different things, stopped to admire the beauty in the things they passed in the woods. The moon light was shining through the leaves, casting interesting shadows on the ground. Dean couldn't help but point them out. He even played a game with Sammy to help pass the time. They took turns pointing out different shapes in the shadows and the moon light.
It felt like time passed quickly, and before either of them realized it, they were standing beside Dean's Baby. He put the bag in the trunk.
"Hey, little brother, do you want the pleasure of driving us back?"
"Me? Dean, unless you're dying, you don't ever let me drive."
"Yeah, I know, that's why I figured I'd offer."
"Uhhh, nah, I'm good right now, you can drive your baby."
Dean just nodded and slid behind the wheel. "Man, I love this car. I always have. She's been so good to me. She's just like family."
Dean started the engine, commenting on the calming sound of her motor purring. He pointed out things he noticed on the way back to the motel. Things that he would have never noticed before. There were some small flowers beside the road that Dean seemed to enjoy. It was still dark, but the shining of the headlights made them light up and Dean couldn't help but notice their beauty.
Sam wasn't sure what was going on, but he honestly wasn't sure if he wanted to fix it or not. He kind of liked this new Dean. He liked seeing his brother happy and feeling at peace. He enjoyed the fact that Dean was noticing the beauty life could hold, and not just the darkness that intertwined with the light. But, he could also see how this could become very annoying very fast. And, he knew he needed his brother back to being himself. He just needed to figure out how. But, he figured it would be okay if a part of this version stuck around.
They made it back to the motel room. Dean commented on how nice it was, how lucky they were, to have a roof over their heads, that so many people out there don't even have that. He went and enjoyed a nice hot shower, and put on clean clothes, that he pointed out he was thankful for.
The whole ordeal of the day had him worn out, so he decided he would take advantage of the fact they had a bed to sleep in and comfortable pillows to put under his head. It didn't take him long to drift to sleep. His soft breathing told Sam there wasn't a risk of nightmares anytime soon.
Sam had sat on his bed, laptop in hand. He had started looking up the symbols in the cave. He had to know what they meant. Had to figure out what was going on with his brother. He found symbols that looked close, but not exact. He had discovered there were beliefs of ancient dark magic that had taken place in the area. Some believed it was a sacrifice to a pagan god, others believed it was pure witch craft.
Through research that he had done prior to their hunt, he had discovered that three people had gone missing in the past month, and that every year, three people would go missing around the same time each month. Sometimes, they were locals, sometimes, visitors to the town, sometimes, they were hikers in the woods.
Sam began to question why there were 3 bodies that went missing when there were only 2 creatures. Originally, they believed it to only be 1, now that they knew there were 2, Sam wondered if there was a 3rd somewhere out there, or perhaps, Dean was right about little off springs?
Sam looked at his brother, who seemed to be in a peaceful stated. He had been right about everything else, so far. Somehow, this thing, whatever it was, has attached to him. Entered his mind. Became a part of him, or he became a part of it. Whatever 'it' was. But, they had searched the whole cave, and didn't find any other creatures. Dean insisted that the nest and feeding pile be burned, leaving nothing for a creature to survive on.
He wished he could understand what was going on inside his brother's mind. He wished even more, that he could figure out what was going on. He closed his laptop and laid it on the table beside him. He figured, for now, he had done all the research he could do online. He needed to visit the library or local historian before being able to research further. He picked up a paper and pencil and started to draw the images that he had seen. He couldn't afford to lose them in memory.
Looking at his brother's peaceful sleep again, he laid himself down, under the covers of his bed. He reached up and turned out the light, knowing he needed rest, that he had a lot of research ahead of him, and had a feeling his brother wasn't going to be much good at helping him. Hell, he'd probably get lost in the beauty of a word, or the amazement of print on paper. Sam chuckled to himself with that thought.
He wondered, once his brother was himself again, how long he could get away with teasing him about acting like such a girl. He smiled thinking of all the things he could say that would get his brother going, and closed his eyes. Allowing his brother's soft, peaceful breathing to fill his ears and rock his mind to sleep.