Disclaimer: characters not mine
Ok, this is really random, VERY OOC. It wasn't intentionally written for fanfiction, but I decided to put it up here…
This is JUST a oneshot!!!!! Ughhhh!!
Im NOT trying to make fun of these characters or anything. Im sorry but I wrote this at like 6 in the morning after I stayed up all night and then I crashed right after it so yeah…
Its funny just read it!
bella: hi im bella, and this is my wolf-of-a-best friend, jocobey
jacob: bella, didnt i tell you not to call me that?
bella: yeah...well...thats too bad...jacobey
jacob: but--
bella: -ignores the dog- so, jacobey, whats it like to be a dog?
jacob: im a dog bella, not a warewolf.
bella: thats what i said
jacob: wait, what!? I MEAN, I MEAN, IM A WAREWOLF NOT A DOG UGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
bella: well...someone has some anger issues...jacobey...
jacob: -trembles- I TOLD YOU -trembles- NOT TO -trembles- CALL ME -trembles- THAT -trembles- UUGHAHHUGHAHHUGHAUHAGUAHGUAAHHGUGUAAAHHHHHGGGH!!!!!!!!
bella: SPAZ ATTACK!! SPAZ ATTACK!!!! OH NO!
jacob in dog form: -deep voice- BELLA! LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE!
bella: yeah, so...you always do that...whats your point??
jacob: oh. i guess i dont have one. -SHIFTS BACK INTO MAN-FORM-
bella: OHMYGODJACOBYOURNAKED
jacob: what? -looks at bella- -looks at what bellas staring at- SHIT! BELLA! I HAVE TO GO!
bella: why?
jacob: BECAUSE IM FUCKING NAKED THATS WHY!!! DUDE!! HELLO!!!??!?!
bella: what?
jacob: what?
bella: what were you talking about?
jacob: i dont know...something about snails?
bella: o yeah. i like snails. theyre sexxxxyyyy.
jacob?
bella: hey you wanna go take a walk on the beach?
jacob: alright!
bella: ok
jacob: ok
bella: ok
jacob: ok
bella: shut up you whore stop saying ok.
jacob: ok
bella: -slaps jacobs arm-
jacob: -arm falls off- aw man not again. i need to get that sowed back on sometime.
bella: oh yes i get the same problem all the time let me tell you
jacob: yeah its really a hassel sometimes, especially when youre trying to go the bathroom. i HATE it when my body parts fall off...
bella: same, same
jacob: so how about that walk?
bella: alright lets go now
jacob: kkk
bella: JACOB! DO NOT SAY THAT! BAD DOG!
-edward walks in...YAY!-
edward: hey bellllllll...A
bella: hi edward. this is my friend, jacob
edward:yes, bells. i remember...jacob
jacob: i hate you
edward: yes, i know.
jacob: your mom knows
edward: actually, she does. and she agrees with me. and oh my god why are you naked!? bella dont look at him!!!'
bella: -looks at jacob- why not? hes hot.
jacob: hellllllll yes i ammmm.
jacobs thoughts: bella thinks im hot? maybe i shud walk around naked more often...
edward: dont even think about it.
jacob: screw you.
edward: -flicks jacob off- hey bella you wanna go make out at my house? i just got a new vibrating bed. its funnnnnnnnn
bella: ok! lets go! -jumps on edwards back- -turns around to look at jacob one last time- bye jacob! go get some pants on. -mouths: 'just kidding'- -winks- -makes a 'call me' gesture-
jacob: bye bella! bye mother fucking leech!
yeah im so hot
she tried to make me go to rehab, i said yes, yes, yes...
yes ive been BLACK--HAHAHA! THATS SO FUNNY! IM SO FUNNY! MY LAST NAME IS...BLACK!!!!!!!!!!
jacob...OUT
read and review and stuff….yeah…