disclaimed, yo.

this is for dani (finding-forever.) because she rocks like that and is kind of amazingtastical. plus this makes up for everything she's dedicated for me. (: i love you!

Maybe We're Meant To Be

(because you never know what fate might decide)

Life sucks, and then you die.

She rolls her blue eyes and asks why you're so pessimistic and how come you won't look on the bright side once in a while? Without waiting for a reply, she laughs and then pulls on your arm and suddenly, miraculously, you're flying.

It's snowing and then she's throwing stuff at you that feels wet and cold - snowballs, you hope - and she's so fast; she's twirling now. She's twirling and her hair is the color of the sun and the snowflakes fall like a curtain of white between you and her, and you know that you'll never be able to do anything less than love her.

Why don't you paint me, Josh?

It's a joke, really.

It started when you were complaining about not knowing what to paint for the creative art shit that your teacher had assigned you the previous class. And she blinks and says, very seriously, Well you could always paint a person.

And she smiles a little bit and you smile a little bit, knowing that she doesn't mean a person but her person. You kind of have to, kind of want to, because she's already nodding and thinking about it and deciding it's okay.

You would never argue with her.

I can't paint perfection.

But I'm not, she says, and when you try to explain to her that she is and she'll always be and once someone's perfect, they can never be normal ever again. She shrugs this off with a roll her cerulean eyes and a flick of her hand and then! just like that, the discussion is over. Conversation closed.

She has this power to get everything she wants, and if she wants something she'll definitely get it.

You don't bother pointing this out, because then her lips are on yours and you know she wants you.

Did you know that you're broken?

Why she had to lead you on with promises and kisses and memories, you don't know. But you do know that she's under Cam Fisher at the moment and fuck, you don't know when was the last time you hated someone so much.

But it's not her you hate, it's him. Because she's just a girl and she's only Claire and she doesn't really know the difference between right and wrong.

Cam apparently doesn't either. The next day at school, he winks at you in the halls and it's horrible, anger shoots up your veins but she's right there and she looks confused so you don't say anything, don't do anything.

He's broken, she's broken, you're broken.

And how do you fix it?

Take it or leave it.

You take it, not because you want it anymore but because leaving it would be the same thing as killing it.

She's messed up and crazy and angry half the time while being drunk the other. She hates your apartment, hates your clothes, says she hates you. But she comes up to you in the middle of the night and her rose petal lips that taste a bit like cherry wine kiss your bare skin you know that she doesn't hate you, can't hate you.

Just like you can't love her.

"What happened to fairy tales, Josh? I thought you said we were meant to be." She smiles and her lips are crimson red. Her hair is the color of new snow against her porcelain skin and she grips the gun tighter, closer.

You can't speak. She whispers harshly, "Tell me you love me," and puts a finger near the metal.

"Say it!"

But you can't and you won't and there's nothing you can do about it anymore.

"That's what I thought," she says, and pulls the trigger.

i told you it was angst.

and fyi: i love claire/josh. it's made of win win win. but the pairing didn't seem right for this one-shot, so yeah.
reviews would be excellent? :)