Since it is Chrisney week I've decided to write this epic one-shot, just for some of the authors I love. I hope they enjoy it!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Total Drama. From what you guys have read of my other fics, it would be odd if I was the owner of a kids' show. I know many kids' shows push boundaries and contain jokes just for the parents though… my fics go beyond that.
After All Stars ended, the show was put on hiatus because Chris needed some time to relax. And what better way to relax than to rent a house next to one of the contestant's house in the suburbs?
Courtney was sick and tired of living next door to Chris. Every time she went into her room she had to close the curtains so that Chris wouldn't look in. Every time she left the house, she locked all the windows and doors and turned on the alarm so that Chris wouldn't break in. Every time she went to bed, Courtney would plug her ears so she wouldn't have to hear what Chris was doing across the wall. That was the problem with living in a semi-detached house. If there was something loud going on in the house next to you, you'd have to deal with it unless you were not lazy enough not to bother getting up off your arse and knocking on your neighbour's door, demanding that they keep it down.
Courtney could've swapped rooms. Other than her room and her parents' bedroom, there were two guestrooms, one of which she used to sleep in before her older brother moved out. But neither of these rooms had an en-suite shower-room and she hated the bathroom because it had an electric shower. So she was stuck living in a room adjacent to Chris's. Every night Chris would knock on the wall just to piss her off.
One day, Courtney got sick and tired of it. So she marched over to Chris's house and banged on the door.
Chris answered it, smirking.
"Oh, so you've came?" he teased.
"Don't give me any of your bullshit!" Courtney shouted. "I am sick and tired of living next door to you! You cause a racket every night, you pour dead grass from your lawnmower over the fence into our garden and I'm pretty sure I saw you grinding the slide one night!"
"Yeah, I've been wandering about that slide and the swings in your backyard," Chris laughed. "Do you still use them?"
"I have three cousins who are young enough to play on them whenever they come over!" Courtney scolded. "That reminds me; in future watch your mouth when they're outside. I know they did not learn some of those words they've been saying lately from elsewhere."
"Will you relax, they're going to learn them eventually," Chris rolled his eyes. "I'm sure their parents don't have a filter between their brains and their mouths either."
"Look," Courtney hissed, grabbing Chris's shirt and pulling his face closer to hers, "just stop with the rackets, okay? Stop looking in my window, okay? Stop breaking into my garden, okay? And stop licking my dog! We now have to let him sleep indoors and he sheds."
"Maybe I lick your dog because a certain someone has been rubbing him," Chris smirked.
"Pervert!" Courtney snapped, slapping Chris on the face. Chris laughed. "Touch my dog again and I will alert the authorities. This is exactly why my cousins are not allowed to go outside to play when they're over unless they are supervised."
"Okay, I'll stop. But how about a kiss first?" Chris smirked.
"ARGH!" Courtney growled, frustrated, stomping back to her house. What was the point in trying to get Chris to stop whatever he was doing, she thought to herself, he was always going to be creepy.
A few hours later, Chris decided to annoy Courtney again. He knew that if he did, she would show up to give him a piece of her mind. As you can tell, Chris likes it when she's angry. Feisty girls or feisty guys were his thing, which was why Chris pretty much stalked Courtney, Heather, Duncan, Eva, Noah, Chef, Blaineley and Scott, even though neither Blaineley nor Noah were not into men.
Speaking of Heather, Chris noticed the queen bee and Alejandro getting out of their car in the driveway of the house next to Chris's on the other side. As it turns out that house was Heather's uncle's house. This made sense, considering that the couple living in that house talked a lot about Heather.
Suddenly, a sick, twisted idea came to Chris's mind. He remembered how Courtney reacted to what he said to her earlier that day. She knew something was up. He decided what better way to exploit that than to spy on Heather and Alejandro. When no one was looking, Chris climbed up on to the roof of the garage that was attached to the house and looked in the window into the bathroom, where he saw Alejandro and Heather. Both were naked and in the bath. Heather was on top of Alejandro, licking his nipples while he sniffed her hair. This was a huge turn on for Chris; heterosexual porn turned him on.
Too bad Alejandro noticed him. He pointed towards the window. Heather climbed out of the Bath, went up to the window and opened it. She slapped Chris on the face.
"What the Hell, Chris?!" she demanded. "Are you stalking us?!"
"Yes and no," Chris smirked, staring at Heather's boobs. "No because I live next door, and yes because I'm so close to climaxing."
"Get lost, Chris!" Alejandro barked, getting up as well. "How would you like it if we were spying on you while you were shifting Chef?"
"I'd ask for a four-way," Chris shrugged, staring at Alejandro's cock. "Though I'm not sure if Chef would want you taking part," he told Heather.
Heather was fuming. "LEAVE!" she bellowed. Suddenly, Heather's uncle walked in.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Chris is being a pervert! And please get out of here?" Heather groaned. "We're not descent!"
"I used to change your nappy before, so you're grand," said Heather's uncle. Heather was about to scream at him when Alejandro spoke up:
"Look, we'll handle it ourselves. Just go back to what you were doing."
"Actually, since Chris was here, I was wondering if he would like to shift my wife," said Heather's uncle. "It's hot the way she dominates other men," he swooned, getting a nosebleed.
"Ew! No!" Heather groaned. "Just get rid of Chris so Alejandro and I can go back to what we were doing without Chris looking in," she ordered.
"What's going on here?" came a familiar voice from outside. Chris smirked. Alejandro and Heather groaned. Heather's uncle was still standing in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob. For unexplainable reasons he had no intention of leaving that position.
"Oh no, not her!" Heather groaned.
"Chris, what are you doing here?!" Courtney demanded, as she climbed onto the roof.
"Spying on Alejandro and Heather," Chris replied. "What are you doing here?" he smirked.
"I was just checking on you, making sure you weren't doing anything illegal!" Courtney justified. "After living next to you for four months I knew something weird was going on when you haven't bothered me in three hours."
"Just as I expected," Chris smirked. "I knew you'd come to me if I was creeping the other neighbours out and not you."
Courtney blushed. "Shut up."
"That's it," Heather huffed. "Uncle, Alejandro and I are checking into a B&B. I want that window bricked up by the time we return." She and Alejandro left the bathroom.
Heather's uncle remained and asked Courtney: "If Chris agrees to shift my wife, are you willing to ride me?"
"Now I know why Heather is grumpy most of the time," Courtney scowled, leaving. Chris tagged along. The uncle shrugged and climbed into the bath. He turned on the taps but his clothes were still on. He tells Heather that it saves them money because they wouldn't have to use the washing machine as often, but Heather and Alejandro knew the uncle liked to keep his clothes on whilst pleasuring himself.
"I knew you'd come for me," Chris smirked as he and Courtney helped each other get down from the roof.
"Fuck you," Courtney scowled. She was blushing, however.
"Admit it Court, you don't like it when I'm annoying the other neighbours," Chris laughed. "Just so as you know; if you want to spend some time with me in my bathtub, you're more than welcome," he added. Courtney kicked Chris in the shin. Normally, she'd aim for the balls, but for some reason she couldn't bring herself to target that area.
Chris grabbed his shin, but raised his head at Courtney and winked at her. Courtney gave Chris the finger and marched back to her house, not noticing how red her cheeks were. Chris chuckled to himself as he swaggered back to his house, knowing that he's got Courtney reacting the way he wanted her to react.
Scott was watching all of this from the driver's seat of his car. To say that he was pissed would be an understatement. He hated how Chris was teasing Courtney like that because he wanted the CIT all to himself.
Little did he realise that a certain purple-haired stalker was crouching between the front seats and the backseats, wearing a gas mask and holding a smoke grenade that she was about to set off in her hands.
Dun! Dun! Dun!
I hope you guys enjoyed that epic, suggestive one-shot. That Chrisney was for I'll Cover Angel and Collins, who has the same sordid sense of humour as I do. The AleHeather was for her and Torie Rilistkrytcat. The Scoterra moment was for them, plus GreenPokeGuy, slendie258 and pretty much all of the other great authors I've met on Total Drama Writers' Forum. I hope ye all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I'm going to try and update one of my stories tomorrow. Come Saturday, when I'll have two more projects out of the way, I will be uploading fuck loads of new chapters and maybe a few one-shots.
Until next time!