Disclaimer: D. Gray-Man is the rightful property of Katsura Hoshino.
Spoiler warning: 187th Night or something like that... but very minor. Plus some to after the Ark etc. Oh, you'll live.
Author's Note: Well that's just a little random joke I thought of, nothing much to say about it.
Lavi was bored, honestly bored. There were currently no missions for those who still needed – or at least were told that they needed, much to their annoyance – recovery after the events in the Ark and the battle in the Headquarters. As a result, they were just hanging around, waiting for this compulsory vacation to end.
It wouldn't really be so bad, Lavi reflected, if only he hadn't been left so damn alone. Allen was being supervised and at the moment drowning in the infinity of forms and questionnaires he was required to fill in; Lenalee was busy helping Komui prepare the moving of the HQ, gramps Bookman was busy with hell-knows-what, Crow-chan was kept in the infirmary, and Yuu-chan…
Well, Yuu-chan was sitting not far away from him, eating his soba, but he was no help at all. Irritated beyond Lavi's comprehension, he'd better not be teased, and to attempts of polite conversation he remained indifferent.
So when someone new approached him, Lavi welcomed the interrupter of his daily monotony with much enthusiasm.
"Hello…" The stranger – a new finder probably – began, only to be cut off by the redhead.
"Hi! Wanna sit here? It's plenty of space here you see, so just sit here with us, okay?"
The use of the word 'us' was a bit dangerous, but as Lavi had predicted, Kanda ignored the man entirely.
"Thanks." The guy sat down as instructed, the young Bookman was even surprised at how easily he agreed to remain in the close proximity of Yuu-chan, then again he was new and inexperienced…
"Actually, I wanted to ask you about something," he said, encouraged by Lavi's warm welcoming. "Because I've seen you together with Allen Walker…"
Now, this sounded interesting. More, it sounded like fun. Pretending not to see the swordsman's frown on the other side of table, the redhead decided to take another risk and replied.
"Yup, Allen's our buddy! What about him?"
The man stirred uncomfortably; he believed he was talking to Lavi alone.
"Well, I heard people say he's the 14th or something… I wonder what that means, that's all. 14th of what? The exorcists?"
"Ah…" Lavi hesitated. He didn't want to talk about the possibility of Allen being a Noah, but hey-wait-a-second… "Why, yes! Didn't you know exorcists had numbers?"
"They do?"
"Sure thing! Each piece of the Innocence is unique and each exorcist is unique, so when they find a compatible pair, they engage numerologists and astrologists and all…"
"Astrologists too?"
"Of course, and an exorcists is given a horoscope for his or her eyes only, you know, like, top secret, and what is lucky and what unlucky to that exorcist, fortunate days and all" the redhead let his eloquence take over, "and they're also given a number."
"Really…" the listener's eyes were wide as saucers, which filled Lavi with self-satisfaction he had lacked for so long.
"Really! The number helps in further divination, and it's so very-very import for an exorcist to know his or her proper number, it helps with the understanding of the self and of the Innocence!" Crap, was that plausible anymore? The presumed finder's face told Lavi that yes, that still sounded plausible.
"But… what is so special about Walker being the 14th?"
"You know…" the eye-patched boy faked reluctance in answering, "it is special in itself that he made his number known all around here. This doesn't happen normally. Also, I heard his prophecies – or something about them that he told someone – say really awesome things."
To emphasize the specialty of Allen and the awesomeness of his predicted future, Lavi lowered his voice dramatically and leant slightly over to his interlocutor.
"I don't know the details," he nearly whispered, "but the 14th is really someone, if you know what I mean, and if that's Allen…"
The new staff member stared at the redhead in amazement.
"Wow…"
"Right?" Lavi grinned.
"Certainly… do you have a number too?"
"Me?" This caught Lavi a little of guard, yet in a moment he had the answer ready. "Of course I do! Normally I wouldn't tell, but we're friends, aren't we? I'm sure you can be trusted. I'm the 49th."
"Oh."
"Yes, and have you maybe seen Crow-chan? He's the 3rd. There's also Miranda, she's the 101st…" The man was about to protest, overloaded with the amount of trust placed on him by Lavi, but the redhead had one more person to mention, "…and Yuu-chan here is the 2nd!" He waved nonchalantly in the general direction of Kanda, whose head popped up to sent his talkative companion a death glare.
"Baka Usagi!"
"What's wrong, Yuu-chan?" The young Bookman smiled innocently, "The 2nd is a mighty number, no need to be ashamed!"
The finder sensed a densification of the mood and stood up.
"Thank you, um, I think I, um, will be going now, good bye!" And soon he was nowhere to be seen.
"Ah Yuu-chan, really, you take it too personally you know!" Lavi raised his hands, intuitively attempting to shield himself from the already raising Kanda.
"Shut up!"
"No, wait, it was just a joke, no, you really don't have to pull this out, you know, Yuu-chan – AH!"
As usual, words and rational arguments were lost on Kanda. As he kept backing off towards the door, careful not to provoke the vexed exorcists any more, Lavi thought he had had enough 'records' of his dark-haired friend to have learnt his lesson already…
But hey, it was fun! And he wasn't that bored anymore…
"Wait…"
"…"
"A- aaaAAAHHHHH!"
Leaving the rest to your imagination...
Can you tell where all I took all those numbers from?
Ah, there might be another chapter, with explanations as for the numbers, dedicated to anyone who guesses ;) But if there is no interest, there won't be.