Hum. So. I don't even know what this is about, but I think it's fluff. I don't remember it starting out that way - there was once a point, and it was decidedly dark - but now it is very much a piece of fluff. Also, I have to apologize to the Chamber of the Ordeal, as it is utterly out of character (everyone else, too, but mostly I regret the Chamber). Fen, I hope you're happy.
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"You must have so much emotional baggage."
Neal says it out of the blue, but Kel is used to him by now and barely reacts. Any move on her part to deny will convince him that she's in denial and then she'll never hear the end of - whatever this is. Besides, she's just barely interested to see if Neal can either mention Yuki or relate this back to her in some way before he is through. She has faith.
"All that arch nemesis goes crazy and dies before you can really get the kind of closure you need sort of thing." Neal continues unwantedly. "That can't be good for a person."
"Nealan," Kel says. "I certainly hope you aren't talking about Blayce."
"Blayce?" Neal looks genuinely shocked. "No, he was evil, certainly, but also highly pathetic. Not good nemesis material."
She doesn't ask who he does mean.
"I'm sure you'll agree," Neal goes on, "that while your brother scores well for being a childhood bully (which therefore deserves special mention), of all your opponents in the Battle of Life, the one who can claim the most damage to your psyche over the most prolonged…
"Mithros, what have you been reading?"
"Master Sigmund's treatise on human thought and dreams – it's a fascinating read, even if he probably made most of it up under the influence of extensive amounts of hard drugs (he's a little – you know). But as I was saying, most damage to your psyche over the most prolonged period of time…
"Lerant!" Kel says.
"What? No I wasn't going for Lerant at all. I was talking about Joren, obviously, as he..."
"No, Lerant's back from his mission. See?" Kel points him out and thanks the gods for a welcome distraction. "Lerant!" she calls.
Lerant looks up, squinting a bit. He waves, hesitantly, and makes his way over to her.
"Conal," Neal says bluntly, "probably can't hold his own against you any more, Blayce is dead, thank the gods, but Joren was crazy for no apparent reason and then died before you could settle things out. Just think about it." He sighs, "I wish Yuki were here," and turns abruptly as Lerant reaches them.
"Lerant!" says Neal. "How wonderful to have you back at the castle; we missed your cheery face a little more with each passing day. Also, while I would love to catch up, I have something important that I forgot I need to do, so if you'll excuse me..." Neal bows himself neatly out of the conversation "Lerant. Kel."
"What was that all about?" Lerant asks.
"I have no idea," says Kel firmly. They watch Neal disappear into the crowd, sneaking obvious glances at them over his shoulder.
Lerant's lips curl slowly into a self-deprecating little grin. "Neither does he."
Kel gives him a look, but resists the urge to hit him, which is hard. She gets that coming from the house of Eldorne has made his life pretty terrible for him, and that Lerant doesn't want her help even though he might as well have a "hit me" sign stuck to his back. It's not even a 'too manly to take help from the girl' thing, as he does it to everyone else, as well. Usually, though, she thinks he is just comfortable being pitiable, even though he hates being pitied.
After the bit where she asks him about his mission and he tells her that nobody died horribly, there's a lull in their conversation and they fill it by people watching. Specifically, they watch the same girls attempt to attract the same boys while the adults deal and curry favour. Someone discovers girl A was cheating on fiancé B with boy C, and there is instant scandal.
"These parties are so boring," Kel remarks.
Lerant's annoying grin deepens and takes on a bit of a leer. "We could always find an unoccupied closet and make out, if it would help make this more memorable for you." Kel forcibly relaxes her gritted teeth and looks at Lerant closely, remembering that everything he says is wrapped in bitter resentment, and the only way he will ask her for help is to put himself down. As an afterthought, she decides he isn't half bad-looking.
"Come on," she says, feeling reckless. He follows, looking amused.
"Where are we going?" he asks, as they leave the party behind. "Kel?"
She smiles. "This way." He's stopped following her so she turns back for him and grabs his hand. He looks at it, astonished and after a second lets himself be pulled along. He adjusts their hands a bit and it twists her wrist uncomfortably. She ignores it. They enter the Chapel and Kel leads him down a nave aisle, straight to the heavy door of the Chamber of the Ordeal.
"Kel..."
"It was the nearest unoccupied place to make out," Kel interrupts before he has the chance to say anything.
"That's not true, there was an alcove right beside..." He balks, eyes wide. "You're crazy."
"Lerant, it's a room. It can't hurt you if you don't let it. I'll be right there with you."
"I'm not..."
She kisses him, can feel his heart hammering through his chest. "I'm going in," Kel says. And she does, opening the door wide so Lerant can see there's nothing inside. She holds out her hand. "Come with me."
"What are you doing?" Lerant whispers. But he is moving forward. He stops in the doorway. "You can't talk in there."
She smiles, fondly. "This isn't your Ordeal, Lerant. The rules have changed." She pulls him in the rest of the way and reaches behind him to close the door. "Although you might want to keep it down. The priests keep a random watch on this place, and I'm not sure how soundproof the walls are."
And then all there is, is darkness.
Lerant immediately runs his hand down Kel's arm to where he thinks the doorknob should be. She catches it before he can realize there isn't one and rolls them away so that her back is against the wall. Her other hand finds the back of his neck and traces his jaw, wired shut with tension.
"I wonder who they get to clean this place," she comments inanely, brushing her thumb over his lips. Lerant makes a noise that sounds like unhappy laughter and Kel closes the gap between them.
For a while, Kel thinks Lerant's erratic heartbeat might not be entirely panic-induced and she lets her eyes flutter shut. Just as Kel is thinking about pushing him away for an overenthusiastic use of teeth, Lerant shoves her back by her shoulders. She pants, shocked and adjusts her eyes to the… light. The Chamber is lit dimly (mood lighting, Kel thinks absurdly) and Lerant is looking a little to the right of her face, through where she knows is a solid stone wall.
"Lerant," she says.
"Kel?" Lerant asks. "They're going to stone her." He looks back at her and his eyes widen. "You're fading," he says.
Kel's mouth opens and shuts again. "Hey!" she says to nowhere in particular. "Hey! This is not his Ordeal. Stop playing with his fears Right Now!"
A pause. Lerant looks at her slowly.
"My apologies," says a new voice. Lerant's head whips around in search of the source. "It is a habit," it explains, without a trace of irony. "Not very many people visit me more than once."
Lerant's head whips back around to stare at her. It looks painful and Kel winces accordingly. She sighs. "Lerant, meet the Chamber of the Ordeal. Chamber, Lerant of Eldorne."
"Good evening, …" Lerant replies, etiquette training kicking in. Kel can see he's a little lost on how to properly address a room.
"We have met before," says the Chamber. "Or is it soon?"
"Oh, er…," says Lerant.
"He's already passed his Ordeal," Kel says. For Lerant's benefit she adds: "The Chamber exists outside of time."
"That isn't entirely accurate," corrects the Chamber stuffily, "but it will do in the absence of a proper explanation."
"Wait," says Lerant, brain catching up to him. "You've been back here before, Kel?"
If Chambers could sound impatient, Kel thinks. "I was given a task during my Ordeal," she starts.
"…The killing machines?" Lerant asks.
"Yes," she says, pleased. "But as I was not permitted to speak during the ritual, I had to come back to ask questions."
"You questioned a…," Lerant turns towards the centre of the room, where Kel supposes he thinks the voice is coming from. "Are you a god?" he asks.
"No," says the Chamber. "I am much, much older."
Lerant arches an eyebrow and stares pointedly at Kel.
"You're taking this well," Kel says hopefully, for lack of anything better to say.
Lerant's eyebrow arches higher. "No I am not. What exactly are we doing here? I thought we were supposed to be heading for an unoccupied closet?"
"I am not a closet," mutters the Chamber.
"I meant no offence," says Lerant. "Kel? Is this some sort of strange voyeurism kink?"
"I resent the implications you are making about voyeurs," the Chamber sulks.
Lerant ignores it. "Were you even going to tell me? Kel?"
"And also I am very clean, to answer your earlier question," the Chamber goes on in an undertone. "One of the priests inhales a special smoke to ward himself against any effects I might have and washes my floors at least twice a week. Between ordeals, too."
"Look," Kel says. "It's not like that. The Chamber told you it was old – think of it as an slightly deaf Uncle."
"What?" the Chamber exclaims. "I am hardly your Uncle."
"A very clean, slightly deaf Uncle – and to get its attention you have to shout really loudly."
"I can hear perfectly well!"
"Yes, right," says Kel soothingly, "which is because instead of noise, the Chamber reacts to very strong emotion. So now that it has no use for me, and because it doesn't scare me, I need some other way to contact it."
"So you used me for my fear," Lerant sneers. "And what's all this about needing to contact it?"
"Actually, it was the lust that caught my attention," the Chamber muses.
"I wanted a favour," Kel tells him, and sort of directs this out to the Chamber also.
"Ah, a favour," the Chamber says. "You never did me a favour, if you will recall."
"I know I told you I would have stopped the killing machines, regardless, but you wanted me to do it and I did."
"Fine. Ask me for that which your heart desires," grumbles the Chamber, "and I will consider granting it."
Kel hesitates and wishes Lerant weren't in the room. "I want to be here during Joren of Stone Mountain's Ordeal."
"You what?" Lerant shouts. "Why?"
"That is an interesting request," the Chamber says.
Kel waits, and avoids Lerant's eyes.
"I see no reason why not, as you were both already there anyways," the Chamber states.
"What?" Lerant asks. And then: "Oh… Oh. I guess we were." Kel's eyes, when Lerant looks over, are a little glazed. "You have some serious issues."
Kel's getting tired of this particular defamation of character. "So do you", she retorts wittily.
"Yes," says the Chamber. "In fact…."
"Well," says Lerant. "I guess we'll be going now. Thank you."
"Yes," says Kel. "Thank you."
"You are welcome," says the Chamber airily. "You can come back if you need to get over yourself, too" Kel could swear it's winking at Lerant.
The door reappears in the room and Kel follows Lerant out the doorway and out the Chapel. Lerant, in fact, doesn't stop until he's nearly back to the main ballroom.
"That certainly made for a memorable party," he says.
"As far as parties go," Kel agrees. "But there's still a couple of hours left of the night."
Lerant looks at her suspiciously, until…
Kel is glad to see that she can still shock him.
"I'm choosing the closet this time," Lerant says. "Follow me."
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