Disclaimer: I don't own HIMYM or any of it's characters.
It was the year 2005, and a young man in his 20's had been staggering throughout the streets of New York like a lost child. He began to walk towards a small store called "Carsons Grocery" then smack, the hopelessly drunk man walked straight into the glass door of the store. He stumbled to the ground and began laughing hysterically.
"Watch out MacLaren's, Teddy Westside is coming, I'm gonna-" his words were cut when he began retching on the sidewalk. He then casually raised himself up and pointed his finger into the air and loudly declared "RULE NEW YORK CITY!" he slurred, finishing his sentence.
The few people who had still been up very late at night shot him dirty looks as they passed by him.
"WHATCHA LOOKIN' AT?" Ted yelled at a woman who had been holding a yellow umbrella in her right hand. The woman took one quick look at him before one again walking back into the streets of New York.
"Watch out, MacLaren's TEDDY BEAR IS COMING BAAACK!" he screamed before walking into the small grocery store he believed was MacLarens.
"We're closed" a young Latino man said as Ted walked in.
"OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO CARL?" Ted demanded.
"Carl?" the man asked very confused
"You know who I'm talking about! I know you're keeping him hostage!" Ted said hollering.
"Okay, dude you're obviously really drunk so how about you just calm down and-" his words were cut off when Ted grabbed a coconut that had been sitting by the fruit aisle and threw it in the direction of the man at the register. He reacted quickly and ducked, dodging the coconut, despite his terrible aim.
"Where's my Carl?" he slurred.
"I'm telling you, I don't know! Man, listen up, you get out of hear in the next 20 seconds, I wont call the cops, 20,19,18,17..." he said counting down.
"I'M OUTTA HERE BITCHES!" he shrilled before grabbing a pineapple, and raising it over his head. "WATCH OUT NEW YORK, YOU GOT A PINEAPPLE MANIAC ON THE LOOSE".
"No you can't take tha- , ah never mind I don't care, you're going to wake up with a killer hangover that's all the satisfaction I need" the man said rolling his eyes.
Ted quickly dashed out the door and sprinted throughout the streets of New York, when he finally made it to the Upper West Side, where his apartment was located. It took him multiple attempts to get the key in the hole, but once he finally did he dashed into his room. He held the pineapple up to his chest, and hugged it tightly, and said "You're safe now, Carl, you're safe" he said crying. Ted gently placed the pineapple on his nightstand next to his bed and declared "I'M COMING BACK NEW YORK!" before once again, walking back into the night.