Hester had put up with a lot in her years. She could deftly avoid any questions about male suitors from her family. She could deal with Anadil's rats shedding and Dot's groan-worthy "jokes." She could deal with Hort's...existence, and even Sophie's incessant singing.
But this would be her breaking point.
"I can't think over this music," Hester thought. Her dark eyes were fixed on a person standing in shadow at the far end of the ballroom.
"You'll get used to it. I certainly did." Agatha's voice rang in her ears, an added plus of one of Merlin's spells. Now the two could communicate without the other guests knowing.
Hester bit her lip in concentration. The corset on her dress was pinching her ribs, making it hard for her to think. She guessed this is what prissy Evergirls felt like all the time.
That certainly explains their lack of intelligence.
"Agatha?"
Hester turned.
Tedros offered his arm to her, smiling. Only his eyes conveyed what they were both truly thinking:
Not Agatha.
The witch nodded, feeling her crown dip slightly on her head. "...Tedros." She took his arm and tried not to recoil.
He walked her to the dance floor, waving to a few other happy couples. Hester smiled, keenly aware that all eyes were on her. Hopefully she played the part of the queen long enough to distract them. They swayed lightly to a waltz, since Hester didn't actually know any dances, and Tedros and Agatha didn't have time to teach her.
"You're not doing so bad, actually," he commented. "About the dancing, i mean."
Hester smirked. "I suppose it's not exactly uncharacteristic of our queen to forget a dance step." The two of them laughed awkwardly.
Tedros cleared his throat, his voice soft enough that only she could hear him. "The spell was...successful?"
She gestured to herself with one sweeping arm. "I mean, yeah." He turned red.
Hester was encapsulated in the body of Agatha, a disguise so flawless that not even the most powerful of villains could see through it. Even Tedros was starting to get confused.
"Any side effects?" He paused, keeping his eyes trained on her. Anyone who looked over would just see a young couple conversing on the dance floor.
Hester shook her head. "My demon complied with the switch, so Agatha's taking care of him. I'm sure he won't do much without my command."
"That's good. We can't have a demon flying around a Good castle, even in the middle of Camelot's greatest stakeout."
The only reason Hester agreed to the mission was because of Agatha. She had forced her hand.
"The spell doesn't conceal voice, and you're the only one who sounds similar to me," Agatha had implored earlier that day. She begrudgingly agreed. That, and she couldn't resist a good spy mission. Even if she and Tedros were technically the bait.
Hester had only been given the plan in pieces, as Merlin was want to do. A rival nobleman had supposedly sent a bandit to steal some of the crown jewels, and the monarchy of Camelot had arranged a stakeout to track down the thief.
While Hester and Tedros kept the enemy spies hidden in the castle busy, Agatha would sneak around and take down the operation while they were distracted. Hester didn't understand why she needed to sub in for the queen, but she guessed it was because the wife of a king just had to stand around and look pretty during these parties. No one would notice if "Agatha" wasn't really Agatha.
"King Tedros! Queen Agatha! what a lovely surprise."
The two turned, coming face to face with the duke and duchess of Glass Mountain- the very monarchs that were executing a heist at that very moment. Hester tried not to scowl at the sight of them.
Tedros smiled tightly. "Duke Grigory! It's so nice to see you again." He cleared his throat. "Have you met my wife, Agatha?"
She curtsied, feeling the greedy eyes of both the duke and duchess fixed on her crown. "How do you d-"
"Your highness, I simply must talk to you about Madame Clotide von Zarachin's fall collection," Duchess Vashya exclaimed, swathed in an emerald green gown. Within seconds, Hester was being dragged away from Tedros, the one person she felt safe around that night.
"We'll leave the men to their conversation, won't we, Agatha?"
Hester would later deny this, but out of sheer desperation, she grabbed Tedros' hand and clung to it. The duke and duchess of Glass Mountain chuckled.
Tedros' eyes pleaded with her:
Play along.
"Agatha, darling, what did you think about the upcoming fall trends Sophie wrote about?"
Hester racked her brain for an answer. "I thought they were...good?" The duchess raised one eyebrow suspiciously.
"I mean...well, I don't often think of fashions," she sputtered. "A queen's duties are never finished, so I just don't have time to pick out my own dresses. But I'm always supportive of my best friend."
The duchess' nose crinkled. "That must be nice," she said. "Your servants choose such beautiful outfits for you." Her eyes flicked upwards to Agatha's crown. "Do you let them handle your jewelry, too?"
Hester could practically feel the jealousy radiating off this woman. "She's probably planning her next outfit with your stolen jewelry right now," she thought.
"Just stay calm," Agatha said. "I think we're almost through. Can you tell Tedros I have eyes on the bandit?"
"Sure."
Hester smiled tightly at the duchess. "No, I pick it out all on my own," she gloated, taking extra time to relish in her sour expression. "I wouldn't want anyone else touching Camelot's crown jewels."
The Duchess of Glass Mountain pursed her lips. "I would feel the same way if they were mine."
"If you'll excuse me, I really must talk to my husband," Hester interrupted, already turning to leave. Tedros looked up from his conversation with the duke.
Agatha's voice flooded into her head. "Not cool, Hes. We're supposed to be nice to other nobility."
"Screw that. I'm the queen now."
"Hmmph."
Agatha's disgruntled sigh made Hester smile even wider. Tedros grinned back at her, momentarily forgetting she wasn't actually the love of his life. As she swept him away from the duke and duchess, he even planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Ew! What the hell?"
"Sorry!"
"Did you really forget?"
"Yeah."
The two turned a corner, vanishing from the bright lights of the ballroom into the dark hallways. Hester exhaled, losing her royal composure, and promptly smacked Tedros in the back of the head.
He turned red and rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey! What did you even call me out here for? I was trying to distract him."
"Forget it. Agatha told me she has eyes on the thief. We need to get over there now."
"Right. Where did Agatha say she is in the castle? Should we wait 'till the thief is actually there to close in?"
Hester furrowed her eyebrows. "No, it might be easier to sneak up now. We'll have more backup-"
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of emerald green duck out of the ballroom and stop to look at them. It was the duchess, along with her duke, staring at them.
"Crap," Hester whispered. "Tedros, play along."
"Wha-"
She pulled the prince in for a passionate kiss, hoping to distract the duke and duchess and not seem too suspicious. And Hester regretted every minute of it.
Tedros, thankfully, got the message, leaning into the moment and wrapping his arms around her. The duchess sighed in relief. Tedros and Hester did too.
They had to kiss for a good minute before the nobles left, walking down the hall in the same direction the thief was headed. Once they were out of sight, the two broke apart as fast as they could.
"Wow, Hester," Tedros smirked. "I never knew you felt that way about-"
"Fuck. Off." Hester seethed. "I was trying to distract them. You know that."
"So now that we've distracted them?"
She shrugged. "We run."
Hester skidded across the hallway floor, her heel catching on a loose tile. She had to hobble to catch up with the now-sprinting king.
"Jeez, Tedros, could you slow down a bit? Agatha has it under control." She glanced back at the tile. It had come dislodged from the floor and glinted in the moonlight. "And fix the floors while you're at it. If you have so many precious jewels, how come you can't hock them to pay for repairs?"
He turned, watching her catch up to him slowly. "I'm just worried about her." He chose to ignore the second question.
"She faced down your crazy sister-in-law three times. I think she'll be fine."
Tedros looked down at her shoe. Its embroidery was scuffed, the heel about to come off if she walked any further.
She sighed. "Between the high heels and the corset, I don't know how Agatha does it."
"We don't usually have to chase after people at parties."
"True."
Tedros huffed. "C'mon." He extended his hand.
"What?"
"I'll carry you. We'll get there faster that way."
Hester turned red, but begrudgingly accepted. He put one hand on the small of her back, put his other behind her knees, and swung her up. She turned a darker shade of red when she instinctively put one hand on his chest. He pretended not to notice.
"Ready?"
Hester nodded.
He started running again, staying a safe distance behind the duke and duchess. The two stayed silent for a long time.
Then Agatha's voice returned. Loudly.
"Are you here yet? I'm in the main hall, right near the Camelot exhibition. The thief is eyeing Uther's scepter."
"Who's Uther?"
Tedros grunted as they turned a corner. "My grandpa."
"Oh."
He set Hester down at the main entrance hall, where they could see Agatha, in Hester's body, spot them from behind an old shield. She put one finger to her lips.
The Duke and Duchess of Glass Mountain were conversing with the bandit in hushed tones. He was gesturing towards a mounted sword in the center of the room.
The three of them sucked in a breath.
"Excalibur," Tedros whispered. "They weren't going for the jewels at all. They wanted my sword."
"Why do you have it up there, anyways? Wouldn't you ever need it?"
"I'm 28. I don't need to swing a sword around every day to feel like Camelot's king." He shrugged. "I do paperwork instead."
Agatha had crept up behind the trio with a wooden club in her hands. She signalled to someone in the shadows- Merlin! -who lit up his wand. The three went stiff, their faces wide with surprise.
"Petrification spell," Hester said. "Nice."
Tedros rushed over to Agatha, holding her face in his hands. "I was worried about you."
"Me, too," she breathed. "Both of you," she added, turning to grin at Hester.
"Can you quit it with the heart eyes and get over here? Grigory and Vashya are gonna need to be put in the dungeons until the party's over."
The two broke away. "Got it."
It's creepy seeing myself canoodling with Tedros. Or my body. Whatever." Hester grimaced. "Ew."
"So let me get this straight," Agatha said, in between giggles. "To distract the duke and duchess, you had to- you-"
"Kiss your husband?" Hester winced. "Yeah. I had to. Sorry, by the way."
She shrugged, lacing her fingers through Tedros's. "It's okay. When I was at the School for Girls, I might've been upset. But I know it was for the mission."
"Plus, you know I've been insulting your prince since the day we met. There's no way I would ever be into him."
"True."
The three of them were sitting on the bed in the royal bedroom. Agatha had her skirt pooling around her, with her knees pulled up to her chest like a little kid. Tedros had his nose in a book next to her, refusing to pay attention to their conversation.
"Well, I'm glad you two had fun," she said, yawning slightly. "All I did was camp out in the exhibition. In the dark. For three hours."
"Hey, that sounds miles better than talking to the duke and duchess of Glass Mountain for 15 minutes."
Tedros glanced up from his book. "She's right. They're insufferable."
Hester smiled.
-end