AN: I have had this little story sitting around for a while and am just now getting around to publishing it. Like the description says it takes place after 5x14. During one of the final shots of the episode we see Damon chained to the floor of the boarding house cellar, defeated. I was reminded of all the times we have seen Damon in that basement while taking into consideration his time spent in the Augustine society.
SICK CAROUSEL
More cell time.
Another prison.
More chains.
More vervain.
More starvation.
It always comes back to this. It's a sick carousel that I'm doomed to ride for the rest of my existence.
5 years in the 50s to forever scar me. To turn small dark spaces into time machines that transport me to a traumatic experience.
I grimly reminisce on my time spent on our basement's dirt floor.
A few weeks after my return to mystic falls and baby brother gets some yummy vervain in my system, locks me up, and wishes me a happy desiccation.
Then again that was a result of my own foolish actions driven by a love that was not returned. I regret the decisions I made in response to my obsession with rescuing Katherine.
My own damn fault.
Then a year later Lockwood's wolfy love bite promised a long unpleasant death filled with nightmares of my past. Yeah, you think I want to relive the past 170 years of my sad life in vivid twisted fevered dreams?
Exactly.
So I decided to take off my ring and burn myself to ashes leaving my brother with one less bad guy to worry about and a carpet to deep clean.
But no, Stefan plays the hero and locks me away to keep me from offing myself until they found the magic cure I doubted was even real. Another lock up, now with enhanced hunger the added benefit of flashbacks. Goodie.
Well… That was my fault too. I only ended up with that bite trying to clean up a mess I made. Another mess born out of love and desperation to keep her alive. I am so fucking toxic. My love is destruction.
Next was when an original was bored. Prick compelled me to kill Jeremy Gilbert. No way in hell I'd let him die on my watch and not by my hands. I know how it feels to kill him, to feel his life bleed out of his body. I hate that feeling. So away I go, back in the slammer. Sliced open and bled dry. Kept weak and fed only a small amount of blood to keep me from desiccating. Like a broken recorded, my life.
But that cell session can be faulted to me as well, I was tasked with helping Jeremy, protecting him, and I screwed it up.
And now here I am again.
Repeated punishment, different crime, same stupid me.
Chained to the floor
In a cell
Starving
Vervained
The love of my life wants me dead
I want to be dead
The control I taught myself is gone
They all hate me
It's all my own damn fault.
I was born with this fate.
To screw up and get locked up.
At least I don't blame myself for the 50's.