OK, so here's a little breakdown of the story
Chapters 1 and 2 - mostly describing the journey to elsewhere (you can skip these if you want)
Chapter 3- Where it starts to get interesting!
Chapter 4- well, stay tuned and see! :)
Jonas walked among the many trees, their bark a dark chocolate brown, thin as bamboo stalks but as tall as oaks.
The air was a biting cold, and Jonas shivered as he held little Gabriel close to him and felt his chest rising and falling against his.
Despite the brilliant sunshine the cold stung like a thousand needles and his thin, generic community clothing did little to protect him from the harsh elements. His fingertips, ears, and toes had become numb long ago. He felt as if he had been walking forever, and that he would be walking for all eternity. Every hour was like the one before it; trees, and rocks, then more trees, and then some bare bushes. Even in his desperate situation, Jonas could acknowledge that the simplicity of the forest was great yet so was its beauty.
Back in the community, all of the trees looked exactly the same, as if they came out of a photocopy machine. Bushes were always kept trimmed in perfectly identical cubical shapes; the grass always kept at the ideal length and was a dull shade of grey, like everything else. All plants were kept in shape by the Community Maintenance Committee, which ensured that all plants "Are kept neat, orderly, and in a manner which adds to the overall organized structure of the community". Psssh. Jonas scoffed, almost laughing at the memory. He preferred the unorganized, but beautiful, forest much more.
With each step his shoes made a rustling sound as they crunched last fall's dead leaves along with the delicate frost that took over the forest that morning. Just keep walking, he told himself.Don't think. Just walk and walk and walk till your legs are sore, then walk some more. Elsewhere is out there, and walking is the only way to get to it.
After what seemed like forever and a day, Jonas collapsed against an ancient oak tree. His feet felt as if they were on fire. They burned with the pain of mild frostbite and were sore and blistered for walking hours on end. He simply couldn't walk anymore, not now. He had forced himself, scolded himself for wanting to give up, and even bargained with himself, thinking things like if you keep walking for a couple more hours, you can rest an extra night when you stop. But now, he had to rest.
The ache in his legs and the stinging in his feet was simply too much to bear. He wrapped his arms around Gabriel and held him close, leaning his head back and tried to get comfortable.(Well, as comfortable as you can get in freezing cold, leaning against an oak tree, ) As he stared off into the distance, His eyelids immediately began to grow heavy. In fact, just keeping them open was taking so much strength…
Jonas opened his eyelids slowly to find himself still against the old oak tree. Gabriel's tiny face was smudged with dirt, and he clung to Jonas as he slept. He was getting losing weight, though, and Jonas could tell by his thinning cheekbones. Jonas placed his hands at his side and gingerly pulled out the parcel of stolen community food. His fingers split open the clasp between the cover and container, and he peered inside eagerly. There was nothing more than a few stale bread crusts in the food container, clearly picked at by a young child who hadn't felt like finishing the evening meal. Jonas carefully picked up the hard crust with his thumb and forefinger. He took a tiny nibble and savored it more than he ever thought possible.
He took another tiny bite, but then he simply couldn't take it. Why should he act as if he was being forced to eat when he was rash with hunger? He stuffed the bread crust into his mouth, and then another. He hardly tasted the dry crusts before swallowing. What was there to taste, anyway he thought? All of the food in the community was bland and quick-filling. Should I eat another piece? Jonas thought. I can't, Gabriel will wake up and he'll be hungry. Plus, we'll probably be traveling for a while before we get to elsewhere. Those two bread crusts did little good, but his hunger would have to wait. Jonas closed the container and –plunk! Something tiny and hard came out of nowhere and bounced off the top.
Jonas swerved his head around in fear. "Who-who's there?" he asked the forest –plunk! There it was again! A small piece of ice hurdled down from the skies and hit Jonas smack in the nose. Bewildered, Jonas picked up the tiny spherical crystal. What in the world!? Jonas thought. He held the piece of ice in his fingers and examined it closely. It was a tiny piece of spherical ice, about the size of marbles he used to play with his friends back in the community. Jonas recalled the memory of snow that the Giver gave him. But never had he received memories of this bizarre weather, whatever it was.
Plunk! Plunk! Plunk! Were the sounds of the pieces of ice falling all around him. Plunk! Plunk! Plunk! They went as they hit the trees, the rocks, and the bare ground. They were falling more heavily now, and they as if someone had a giant bucket of ice and was simply pouring it out on to the forest. He had no idea what the ice was, but he knew he had to build a shelter to get him and Gabe out of it. Jonas stood up quickly, holding Gabe close to him. He ran around the forest, desperately searching for fallen tree branches. There was one! Jonas grabbed it and leaned it against the oak tree.
PlunkPlunkPlunkPlunkPlunk The ice was falling heavier now, and it was growing by the second. Strategically placing his feet so he didn't slip, Jonas fond more and more tree branches and leaned them against the tree. The ice kept on falling like tiny, icy, comets falling from the sky and pelting Jonas all over. Finally, when he had made a pathetic excuse of a lean-to against the old oak tree, he scurried underneath it and cradled the still slumbering Gabe in his arms to wait out the storm.
Hope you enjoyed! Any suggestions or constructive criticism (I'm a newbie so go easy on me)would be very much appreciated!