*Please allow me to preface this by saying that this is a memoir that Jasper 'wrote'. All right, I'll admit it. TWLOHA influenced this a little as well.*
"Remember Your Life Jacket"
It was a dreary day one October when I learned the lessons that completely changed my life. My siblings were at school, and I was at home because it was simply too dangerous to let someone as ravenous as myself roam around a public place unsupervised. Esme had some errands to run, and she asked me if I'd be all right by myself. I said yes, but I had lied. I sat there, miserable both physically and mentally, not knowing where my life was headed, but having neither the strength nor the will to find out. My body had known abuse and the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I was haunted by the memories of a traumatic past that'd I'd rather not recall. I remember thinking, I'm in a very safe environment, and I have the most wonderful, loving family anyone could ever ask for. All of my needs are being fulfilled, and I have all of the luxuries I could ever want. Why, then, am I still in so much pain? How can I have triumphed over so many obstacles and still feel so empty and weak?
It was at that moment when Carlisle got home from work, and he came up to my room to check on me. He asked how I felt, and I told him I was all right. Due to his acute perception and my inability to lie to him convincingly, he saw right through me. He asked me what was troubling me, and the floodgates opened. He listened, privileged but breaking, as I told him every thought that occupied my mind. He sat quietly and politely, never saying a word except to comfort me when I became so hysterical that I could no longer speak.
Carlisle then shared his feelings with me. He said that he had spent long days and even longer nights fretting about my well-being. I knew he was speaking the truth, that he worried about me, but I didn't understand why. I had always thought of myself as a pathetic excuse for a person, unworthy of anyone's love and care. Carlisle gave me advice, and he told me the words that I will remember as long as I live: "Remember your life jacket."
It was that day that I learned that kindness, love, and acceptance are the greatest gifts that we can bestow upon one another. Even the smallest things, like a smile, a kind word, or a hug can impact a person so deeply.
The simple fact is that we often forget this as we're going through life. It's so easy to get wrapped up in ourselves as we struggle to find our niches. However, it's a wonderful thing to step outside our own personal bubble and extend a hand to someone in order to make his or her struggle less difficult.
Every day, I feel the emotions of others, and this only solidifies my belief. You see, most beings with a conscience stray away from anything that causes them pain. However, I've learned that in that pain lies the comfort zone of many. Many people are trapped in a state of limbo: too scared to leave the darkness for it is all they know, yet too depressed to stay there. This, among other things, has led me to believe that it is our purpose in life to offer hope and help to those that require our aid. I know this may sound a bit hypocritical coming from a bloodthirsty vampire who rarely comes in contact with others for fear of what he might do to them. However, it is not so. I live for the moments when I can make my family happy. I use my gift to give my family members an emotional lift whenever I feel that they need one. It makes me feel valuable, I suppose you could say, when I can ease their pain. There is no hypocrisy in the statements I've made. One who feels the emotions of others by can by nature only want the best for people. I was taught that October day that we were meant not just to want what's best for people, but to help them attain it.
I have seen this in motion, and believe me when I tell you that it works wonders. Take a broken boy. Tell him he's wonderful. Tell him he's beautiful, and that he's a person just as amazing and just as worthy as anyone. Tell him that he's loved, and that he deserves every birthday present and every Christmas gift he receives. Tell him something true when all he's known are lies. Accept him for who he is when others have rejected him. Be a light to him in the darkness. Be a guide to him when he has lost his way. Be someone he can lean on when he's worn out and has lost all hope.
Carlisle said that day, "Remember your life jacket. In smooth sailing, it gives you peace of mind. But in times of turbulence, its true worth is made known. It is much like hope in that way. I suppose what I'm trying to tell you in a rather roundabout fashion is to remember hope. We have hope."
There I sat that day, and here I sit now, covered in scars that are a constant reminder of my trauma, but believing with all my heart that Carlisle was correct. Believing that the acceptance and love that we give to people can change or even save their lives. We would ask you to remember.