Stage Fever OR, Romano and the Microphone, Why won't he sing?:
By Mandi
A/N: ER with music, who woulda thunk it? This has almost defiantly been done before. But, the idea is pretty universal, so I'm using it. My songs are original. I didn't copy anybody. But, if you feel I have, tell me and I will give credit where credit is due. Things in bold are actions.
It's hard to rewrite entire songs. So please, reviews are greatly appreciated. It works best if you sing along with the songs.
Rating: G
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Do I look like I own anything? Darn straight. The songs are as follows:
~*~*~*
Twinkle, Twinkle, little star---------Umm, Mother Goose?
I will survive----- Gloria Gaynor
I'm a Believer-----The Monkees
Holding out for a hero----Bonnie Tyler….it was in footloose
If you don't know the song, try looking it up on the internet to see the real words. Then sing along with the fake ones. Its fun. I tried.
I'm pretending this is a normal day at County. Pretend with me. It's a normal day, but for some reason, the doctors, nurses and patients can't help but burst into song. Like in a Disney movie. That's it, a movie….
ORMAN: No!
Mandi: Why not?
ORMAN: Nobody wants to see a Disney ER movie
Mandi: Sure they do. Mickey Mouse needs surgery -
ORMAN: NO!!!
Okay, not a movie.
This will be a chapter thing cause it's a little long and I want to see what people think so far. So PLEASE tell me and then I will continue.
On with the show…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
We fade up to Abby and Susan standing in the lounge, being bored. A bird sings. Susan opens the window and Abby takes out a rifle and shoots it. ER mustn't have singing in it.
Susan: It's a beautiful day
Abby: No, it's not. The sky is blue, the birds won't shut their mouths, this is the worst day ever.
Carter walks into the lounge.
Carter: Twinkle, Twinkle, little star
25 year old male was hit by a car
Pulse is low, BP's high
Can you two please take this guy?
Twinkle Twinkle little star
25 year old male was hit by a car
Abby and Susan glance at each other. Carter looks amazed.
Abby: Did you just sing?
Carter: I…guess…I did! It just came out! I felt like singing! LaLaLa!
Little do they know that the MVA victim is the director of writing musicals. County General is going to catch stage fever.
Yosh rushes in and tells Susan and Abby that MVA victim #1 has arrived. We'll call him Vic, okay? Like VICtim.
Abby and Susan run out to the gurney, which is already being wheeled down the hall. Vic winks at Susan and says to nobody in particular "Lights!"
The lights dim.
Susan, Abby and Doris the paramedic step back.
The gurney turns into a stage. Vic jumps up, standing dramatically in the spotlight. At Admit, Frank is sitting at a piano. Vic nods and Frank begins to play. As fog rises from the gurney, Vic begins to sing.
VIC:
At first I was afraid,
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
With this infection in my eye
But then I came to County General
And they treated me so bad
And I got an eye patch
And it became the newest fad
And now I'm back
To this place
I just came here
Because I got hit in the face
I should have listened to my friend
And not run in front of that old jeep
If I had known for just one second
I'd be brought back to County
Oh Ow, that hurts! It really does
Could you stop now? Cause I think my nose is really bust
Hey, weren't you the doc that tried to hurt me with the drops
They made me cry
Cause they hurt my injured eye
Oh no, not I
I can't survive
As long as I'm in this hellhole
I know I'm going to die
I have all my life to live, I have no health card to give
I'm going to die!
I'm going to die, hey hey
It took all the strength I had
Not to die right then
To keep living 'till I got here
So that you could mend
I spent oh so many dollars
Out of the healthcare systems jar
Shouldn't have got hit
By that new expensive car
And you see me
I'm almost dead
I'm just another weirdo
With a bump on my old head
You felt the need to push the morphine
Because my pain was way to great
It'll be over soon
If you treat me at this rate
Oh Ow, that hurts! It really does
Could you stop now? Cause I think my nose is really bust
Hey, weren't you the doc that tried to hurt me with the drops
They made me cry
Cause they hurt my injured eye
Oh no, not I
I can't survive
As long as I'm in this hellhole
I know I'm going to die
I have all my life to live, I have no health card to give
I'm going to die!
I'm going to die, hey hey!
Vic dances. He's got the moves. It was all going good until Dr. Romano showed up. Romano pulled the microphone away from Vic's hands, one of which is bent at an odd angle.
Romano: What are you losers doing?
Vic: Excuse me?
Romano: You're injured
Vic: Hit by a car He grins proudly
Romano: You're delusional. Nobody sings in this hospital. Romano pulls Vic off the 'stage' and tapes him to a gurney.
Romano: We'll have to operate on your brain. Corday will assist. And if I catch any of you he glances meanly at the doctors singing, you will be fired. Singing is outlawed in this hospital!
Romano wheels off Vic. Corday follows.
Frank, Abby, Susan and Carter are left to talk.
Carter: Why won't he let us sing?
Abby: It's a shame. Really. Rolls her eyes
Carter: But I wanna sing!
Susan: There must be a reason he won't let us sing
Abby: Maybe he's just smart
Susan: Nah, there must be a secret he doesn't want us to know…
*Gasp*
Susan: Do you think….he can't sing?
Everybody in the hospital freezes. Three people faint. Somebody cries. Somebody screams.
Carter: No…
Susan: Do you think…
Carter: NO
Susan: I think -
Carter: NO!!! NOOOOOOO! Not Romano! NOO!
Abby: In the OB, we never used to sing
Susan: We sing around here all the time. It's just the writers *Evil glance* won't let us share our talents
Abby: Teach me!
Carter: Gladly.
Carter, Susan, and Frank gather around their student. Frank starts up some music.
Carter: (to Abby)
You thought songs were only sung in musicals
Meant for somewhere else, but not for here
Ah, t'was quiet in OB
That's the way it seemed
You can't believe we'd sing, not in your dreams…..
Then you saw us sing
Now you're a believer
Here's the thing-
You doubt that you can
I'm in shock
(OoooooOOOoo!)
But I'm a believer and you can sing if you try
Abby:
I thought song was more or less a talent thing
Seemed the more I sang, the more they hate me, yeah
What's the use in singing
All you get is pain
Unless you're good, and then you can get fame…
All: Then you saw us sing
Now you're a believer
Here's the thing-
You doubt that you can
I'm in shock
(OoooooOOOoo!)
But I'm a believer and you can sing if you try
Frank and Randi take care of the musical interlude
Carter: Ah, t'was quiet in OB
That's the way it seemed
You can't believe we'd sing, not in your dreams…..
All: Then you saw us sing
Now you're a believer
Here's the thing-
You doubt that you can
I'm in shock
(OoooooOOOoo!)
But I'm a believer and you can sing if you try
Abby:
Yes, I saw you sing
Now I'm a believer
Here's the thing
I know that I can
Yeah, I'm a believer
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
By this time Carter, Susan, Frank, Randi and Abby are dancing *well*. Think of the mental images…*shudder*. The music is up full blast, the patient with the broken leg is breakdancing, and the lights are flickering on and off. Partay. Suddenly…
Shirley: Romano's coming! Romano's coming! Run for your worthless lives! He's on a warpath!
Carter: Why?
Shirley: He just got sued- 50 million dollars- for unnecessary brain surgery.
Remember Vic?
Carter: Ahhhh!!!
Abby: Ahhhhh!!!
Patients: Ahhhhh!!!
Susan: We need somebody! Help! We need a hero!
Abby: Yes. Yes. Yes we do.
Susan: Can you think of anybody?
Abby: Can I? I'll get Luka
Susan: *swooning*
Female patients: *swooning*
Carter: *swooning…kidding*
Because this is a musical, the lights dim. Randi starts up music. Abby walks dramatically through the darkness. Susan and Randi prepare to be backup dancers and singers. The counter at admit serves as a stage. Picture it. Cool, eh?
Abby:
Where have all the good men gone
Why is Romano mad?
Where are all the Doug Ross doctors
Like the guy I used to have
Doesn't he still work here, was he fired for no cause
Just because it was late at night and he was breakin' all the laws
(*Swoon*)
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero to save us from rage
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta get here by page
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero to give us some mind
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
Cause we're running outta time
(*more swooning*)
Somewhere before midnight
When his shift is nearly done
He talks to me, I nearly melt
Like I'm in the noonday sun
He says he's coming now to save us from the man
And if I know, because I do, he'll save us like no one can
(*Swoon*)
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero to save us from rage
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta get here by page
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero to give us some mind
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
Cause we're running outta time
(*more swooning*)
Up where the hospital meets the smoggy Chicago sky
Out to the wide concrete place
I would swear on the night and the stars in the sky
He's coming face to face
Through the trauma and the blood and the bone
His patients pay with life
I can feel his approach
This is going to be so strife
(*Swoon*)
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero to save us from rage
He's gotta be strong
And he's gotta be fast
And he's gotta get here by page
We need a hero
We're holding out for a hero to give us some mind
He's gotta be sure
And it's gotta be soon
Cause we're running outta time
(*more swooning*)
We need a Hero!
Abby finishes dramatically just as Romano steps into the room. He looks really angry. Abby, Susan and Randi gulp and hop down from the desk. A patient hides under a chair. Carter and Frank duck behind admit. Another patient goes into a closet. Dr. Corday gives a sympathetic glance to Abby, Susan and Randi, makes death eyes at Romano, then hides in a trauma room.
Susan notices Romano holding a knife. She nudges Abby. They are in BIG trouble.
Romano: Well, well, well, what do we have here? It looks like Ms. Lockhart, Dr. Lewis and Randi, singing behind my back. After I told them not to. Well, what happens to bad doctors who don't do their job and break the rules?
Susan: They get raises?
Romano: No. They get FIRED.
Abby: I was just calling Dr. Kovac
Romano: Is the phone not good enough?
Abby: Phones are overrated. Singing is the new phone.
Romano: Really? Randi! 'phone' Dr. Pratt
Randi: I uh, I
Romano: Do it!
Randi: Okay.
She sings one note and Romano flips.
Romano: I can't take this singing! He picks up the knife. This is when Dr. Kovac arrives.
Susan: Hero!
Abby: I was just talking about you…
Luka: Really? What were you saying?
Abby: Nothing, really.
Luka: Huh.
Elizabeth picks this time to be bold. She walks in on the scary scene.
Elizabeth: We have a trauma coming in by flight. Dr. Gallant, Dr. Chen and Dr. Lewis, you guys are needed. Romano, you're needed in surgery.
Romano: It's about time!
So, Susan, Jing-Mei and Gallant leave for the roof.
A/N: That was chapter one. Tell me what you think. There is more, I promise. This took a week to write, so it was hard.