a night in your arms is my only regret
by NiNA_eN
warning for mature suggestions.
"Isn't it better to regret something you've done, rather than not?"
Honey and Haruhi have been getting together for secret little sessions every now and then, right under the Host Club's very noses. Usually it's just kisses and stuff, slowly progressing into less innocent activities but still pretty tame all the same. HOWEVER, it has now escalated into something much more...
As I came to, I was suddenly all too aware of the feel of skin on naked skin - and the whole intimacy indicated once brought to mind. Now that I was no longer caught up in a heavenly hurricane, in which my every nerve had been tortured and toyed with, feeling so so delicious, my conscious was clear and I was flooded with horror at what I'd done.
I'd committed a sin. A sin so heavy that I'd know my soul would never be rid of. A sin that had felt so heavenly, so delicious, just so right, it had robbed my normally precautionary mind clean and filled it instead with a dozen senses, a thousand moans and sighs, pleasure beyond any imagination, that had brought me to beyond the limits of chaos.
The power this person had over me...
...was terrifying.
Guilt washed over me like a tidal wave, making me feel so lowly and disgusting, so unworthy of the innocence of which he so freely gave to me...
True he was older than me, the senior of this relationship but it was me who should've bore more responsibility. Yes he was three years older than me but he was so innocent and sweet, so easily swayed by emotion, so guiless, just so so innocent.
And I'd taken advantage of it, so tempted by the forbidden fruit.
Snuggled up against me, arms wound tight around my neck, he stirred. Slowly, his eyes opened.
"Haru-chan..." his murmur was breathy, so different from his normal bubbly tone and his half-hooded eyes, dark from sleep and something else, gave me no doubt that this was the man whom I'd just committed this sin with, that he was the owner of the muscles I'd so adoringly worshipped before.
From a distance, his chest did look strikingly similar to that of an elementary child but I now knew, up close and personal, just how firm those abs were.
So firm, so solid, so warm...
"Haru-chan?" he blinked at me with his large doe-like eyes, shining with a vast myraid of blues...azure clashing with cerulean...stormy oceans colliding with cloudy skies...Somehow...he just seemed so adorable...so sexy?...at the same time. Once again, I was overcome with revulsion, at my train of thought.
It must have showed in my face, because he now looked concerned, reaching up to cup a cheek. His eyes shimmered with such tender care, it shook me to the core.
What...?
...are you doing to me...?
Looking down at him, so trusting, so beautiful, still captured by the innocence of childhood, I could not help but swallow the lump in my throat.
"Iie, Misukuni-kun. Nandemonai." said a voice that didn't seem to belong to me.
He looked unconvinced for a moment, his eyebrows slanted over narrowed ice-blue eyes, the intensity of his concentrated gaze chiseling at my breakable facade, making me feel ready to fall to pieces underneath it.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, his eyes widened, grew lighter in shade and he nodded, satisfied, then turned away.
Away from his watchful eyes, a tear fell.
Mother in Heaven, what have I done?
It seems even Haruhi can be swayed by human emotion, raw guilt and an undeniable feeling of wrong. It seems even she could lose her cool judgment & misinterpret things, then attempt to lie in order to cover things up.
well, here you are. My HaruHoney oneshot, AT LAST! The timeline? I'm not sure. It may or may not be connected to my near-completed series My Sweet Craving. It may be an aftermath, it may be an alternate universe - who knows?
Edit* looking back at this, I'm not horribly proud of it. Freakishly OOC it is - no matter how I tried to convince myself back then. Perhaps if it'd been for Tohru/Momiji instead?