Disclaimer: I don't own Angel Sanctuary.
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'Why do I always ask whether or not I'm beautiful, even though I already know the answer? Well, the answer is very simple: I want to hear Katan say it over and over again. If I can't have him love me as a lover, then at least… It's a small consolation prize. It's better than nothing.'
These words echoed in Rosiel's mind as he contemplated random things. What else did he have to do? Kirie and Katan were willing to do everything for him. All he had to do was… He flinched as he remembered Katan's words, or at least, the way Katan put it.
"Why do you get Kirie to do everything for you?" Katan demanded.
"Why should you care, Katan?" Rosiel replied, still staring outside the window.
"All you do is sit there and look pretty!" Katan said angrily as he turned to leave and stop Kirie from doing something reckless.
"Pretty?" Rosiel's eyes narrowed.
Katan stopped dead in his tracks, realizing what he had just said. "I'm sorry, I meant beautiful." He said before continuing.
"Pretty?" Rosiel repeated himself, unbelieving.
But Katan was gone.
Rosiel stared at nothing in particular before he stood up. The wound had remained there, but it had also worsened. Especially when Katan chose that little child over him. It had hurt very much. Even though Katan remained with him at the end, his self-confidence had taken a rollercoaster ride back then. Katan had responded to all his am-I-beautiful questions dutifully since then, but still… Scars remain scars. He looked at himself in a mirror. Had his beauty faded since Alexiel sealed him?
This brings us to another topic: Alexiel. His sister, the one who could actually compare to him in terms of physical appearance. She couldn't kill him after all, that weakling. She broke her promise. His fury welled up inside him. Yet he was so obsessed about her… Did he love her as a man loves a woman? No, he hated her. This hate was mistaken for love. The only one he loved was Katan. If he didn't love that gurigol so much, he wouldn't have given that gurigol a body. But that gurigol was ungrateful. That gurigol didn't love him as he wished it to.
"Rosiel-sama?"
That voice broke through his thoughts, and he turned to see Katan. Shaking away all his thoughts, he smiled at his beloved. Even though he doesn't love me as I want him to… It's all right. It's all right, as long as I have his undying loyalty and attention all to myself.