MG: Yoohoo! Hey there, we are the Digital Artists, the author with two bodies! This is our very first HP fanfic so we need advice! And reviews, too! And now, to my co-writer . . .

LD: 'our'? 'our' she says. I have actually started a humorous Harry Potter fanfiction . But yeah, I guess this is our first serious one (grins) oh how I'll enjoy this one…

xXx

"And what does Harry Potter want Dobby to do with it?"

"Dobby!" Harry sighed for the fifth time in exasperation, causing the little House Elf to cringe in the knowledge that he'd upset his idol and saviour.

"C'mon, Harry. We can always find another way to give it to him," Ron interjected.

"Nooo! But Dobby wants to help! Really, really! Please let Dobby help!" The scrawny creature began to jump up and down in synch with its protests but went ignored by the two Gryffindors, who began to discuss other methods of dispatching their evil plan.

"We could really use Hermione for this," muttered Ron, "I mean it's great we've got so far on our own but it would have been a hell of a lot easier with her help."

Harry started to nod but changed his mind half way through so it became a strange lopsided shake.

"You know what she's like when it comes to the House Elves, Ron. Besides, she'd probably tell us what we're doing isn't 'right'."

"Never been anything more 'right' than this, in my opinion."

By this time Dobby had found a stool. Dobby had also found a piece of paper. Dobby had rolled this paper into a cone. Dobby was taking a deep, deep breath.

"DOBBY KNOWS HOW TO HELP! DOBBY CAN SNEAK IT INTO THE KITCHENS!"

The two Gryffindors turned to each other. They grinned.

xXx

Dobby muttered to himself as he entered the Hogwarts kitchens. The house elves were so busy running around trying to prepare everything for the meals that very few noticed him.

"Must do this for Harry Potter, must make it right for Harry Potter," he muttered as he waited by a large table. A few seconds passed and piles of toast appeared on the table, some slices half eaten and some plates holding only crumbs.

"Dobby must find toast and place it in potion . . ." Dobby continued muttering as he rummaged around the piles of toast.

"Harry Potter's toast!" He picked up a half eaten piece of toast, knowing it was Harry's, being the Harry Potter fanatic he is. He thought for a while. "Should I use Harry Potter's toast? Or did he want me to use someone else's toast?" Dobby started to worry, nervously twisting his apron in one of his spindly hands. A sudden thought of salvation struck, "Harry Potter's toast will make the potion better!" and with that Dobby dropped the toast into the potion.

"Now Dobby must find Mr Malfoy's drink . . ." Dobby scuttled off to the line of drinks to find the exact glass of pumpkin juice that would be taken to the Slytherin table and placed in front of Draco Malfoy.

He located it with considerable ease, able to smell the stench of Malfoy snobbishness from three feet away, even though the glass was yet to find Draco's lips. After a quick glance behind him, to his sides, and, for some reason known only to him, the ceiling, he upended the small vial of milky liquid into the pumpkin juice, a few crumbs floating to the surface before deciding that they'd rather sink to the bottom.

Dobby nodded to himself in satisfaction. He had helped Harry Potter. Now Harry Potter would be very pleased with him. Harry Potter might even give him a medal. He skipped off happily to take his position up by the bowls of cereal, humming while he sorted the owl shaped WizardKrispies from the newt shaped WizardKrispies.

xXx

Hermione was suspicious. She tended to be suspicious a lot of the time, due to the fact that she knew too much. She was suspicious when Professor McGonagall said "This is a very simple spell . . ." because she knew very few transfiguration spells were simple. She was suspicious when Dumbledore said "I have a very special treat for you . . ." because she knew Dumbledore usually gave hidden meaning to his 'treats' and often a lesson was involved. And she was suspicious when Ron and Harry said "We haven't done anything, Hermione. Honestly . . ." because she knew what a pair of idiots they were.

She sighed as she reached for one of the bowls of cereal that appeared along the length of the table. Although Harry and Ron obviously thought they were acting innocent it was clear that they were waiting for something. Something at the Slytherin table, if their frequent glances in that direction were anything to judge by.

"I hope Dobby did the job . . ." Ron murmured quietly so Hermione couldn't listen in.

"I think he has done," Harry said turning his gaze back from the Slytherin table and at his bowl of cereal while avoiding Hermione's gaze.

"Are you sure? I mean, he did seem a bit . . ." Ron made a gesture that implied a sense of insanity.

Harry chuckled at his red haired friend. "I think he's done fine, Dobby will do anything," Harry replied quietly, thinking of how Dobby rushed off to do his bidding, and then an image of a very angry Hermione appeared shouting things about House Elf rights. Harry sighed.

Moments passed and the unfinished and finished bowls of cereal disappeared from the tables to be replaced by drinks and croissants.

"This is it Harry . . ." Ron couldn't help but grin and his glances over at the Slytherin table grew more frequent.

Harry smirked. "I just hope Dobby chose something from the Hufflepuff table to put in it."

Ron snorted, "Yeah, Mr Up-Himself wouldn't be able to stand the thought of being with a Hufflepuff. He'd probably have to bathe in acid afterwards!"

Harry couldn't help but laugh at Ron's comment, and found himself looking over at the Slytherin table, not even bothering to turn away even though he could feel Hermione's curious and oh so suspicious gaze stabbing into the back of his head.

He nudged Ron as he saw Malfoy pick up his drink. Hermione followed their gaze to where the Slytherin was taking a large gulp of pumpkin juice. He choked a little as the liquid made its way down his throat. He made a face. He turned a very elegant shade of green. He threw up.

Amidst the laughter caused by Malfoy's sudden affliction Hermione noticed the expressions of her two best friends.

"What did you do to his drink?" she demanded sternly, folding her arms for effect.

"He wasn't meant to spew it up," Ron moaned. Harry just rolled his eyes and shrugged at Hermione. At the glare she sent him he cringed.

"So maybe we spiked it a little . . ." the glare continued, ". . . with a bit of homemade love potion. But it doesn't matter," he added on quickly, "because he threw it up so it won't work. And besides, you've got to admit it was funny seeing Malfoy throw up on Pansy Parkinson."

Against her will, Hermione grinned, but then shook her head disapprovingly.

"I'm still very disappointed in you two," she said, actually making them both avert their eyes in a semblance of shame, "If you had included me it would have worked properly."

After a moment's silence:

"I told you so," Ron told Harry, smugly.