A/N: This was originally the end of a story I wrote awhile ago but never published and although you don't get the back story or the reasons behind Magnus's actions I think that to some extent this can stand alone, I edited it a bit in light of becoming a one-shot but not very much.
Drink My Sin
The wine was a rich shade of red.
With shaking fingers Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, poured the liquid silk in to a finely formed glass that was an object of beauty in its own right. Everything about the situation said "decadence".
The worn out furniture belonged to another place and time. They cast long shadows across the wooden floorboards as the dying sun helplessly held out long rays of light against every surface, searching for a saviour amongst the gothic armchairs and drawers. But they too, were deteriorating, dying a death that they had been anxiously awaiting for, oh, so long. Velvet curtains which had once been so blue that the depth of their colour seemed as deep as the sea were now faded and fraying.
Standing in the middle of this palace of degradation that a hundred years previously was a realm of luxury of the highest order was the tall, slim warlock. He was as faded as the rest. A glittering silhouette of his former self, he remained the eye of the dying storm from which everything else was connected. Magnus Bane, the furniture, the curtains, the crystal glass brimming with the red wine- which was the most vivid of all the colours in the room-and the fading sunlight were all one and the same.
There was not a drop of colour to his attire apart from the thin gold ribbon that was neatly tied beneath his collar. His shirt and thin trousers and Victorian style blazer were all as black as night. Silently with his hand delicately holding the glass he brought up to eye level.
Murmuring softly, with his eyes closed, spidery tendrils of blue light wound around the glass and flowed over the brim. Red became blue just for a second before returning to red but this time in a much more tantalising shade of scarlet. The edges of the glass were covered in condensation from where his hot breath had rippled across its surface.
His eyes flicked open. He stared emptily at his creation.
There was a creak behind him as the floorboards shuddered over the weight of a newcomer and the door winced as it moved on its rusted hinges. The youth that walked in shattered the picture of decadence. With his bright blue eyes and gently blushing cheeks he stood out from everything like a birth at a funeral and yet it was the place he was always destined to reach. This room and this man were inextricably linked in ways that neither could guess, except for Magnus Bane. He knew.
Alec Lightwood smiled shyly at the warlock, his shoulders hunched together. Ragged black hair framed his face perfectly as if he were a fallen angel that had not had the time to straighten himself out since.
An Angel of Penance come to soak up the sins of a Demon.
Magnus looked at him with the same empty stare. It startled Alec to see those eyes. It was as if the fire of life had been extinguished inside of them. Magnus noticed the twitch in the twenty-one year old Shadowhunter's expression and quickly rectified the situation, assuming a look of tamed happiness.
But the smile was fake. The eyes still dead. Nevertheless the shy smile returned to Alec's face. He either couldn't see the remnants of despair and destruction or he simply refused to believe his own eyes and was ignoring it completely.
With his head tilted to one side the Shadowhunter pensively walked towards his lover who had now lowered the wine glass and set it down on the desk with a mild clink, his fingers gliding down the stem then across the table top before falling forlornly to his side.
"Alec."
The boy stood right in front of him now. Alec called himself a man but in many ways Magnus still saw him as a child, an innocent.
The Shadowhunter leaned against the warlock his hands running up and down his sides. A sigh of content slipped out of his pale lips. Accepting the intimacy Magnus gripped his hands around Alec's waste tightly, as if at any moment the boy may be blown away by the wind or fall to the same disease as the fading sun.
Magnus burrowed his head against Alec's shoulder and then tentatively nuzzled his hair. Alec smelled clean. It was the best way Magnus could describe his odour. Clean and pure. He would miss that smell. The perfume of lavender and roses was repugnant to him now, in comparison.
He was half sad that Alec was formally dressed in a smart black suit, that suited his figure well, and with a blue silk tie that made his eyes seem all the brighter.
He wanted to remember Alec as he had met him. In old black jumpers and ill fitting clothes.
Because memories fade...
Images burn to dust in the barren landscape of time.
Never mind. What was done was done.
"Alec."
"What?" The boy's voice was muffled against the warlocks shoulder.
"Do you love me?"
Alec looked up, wide eyed. His smile widened and one of his eyebrows was crooked with surprise. "Of course I love you. I'll always love you."
Nothing more was spoken for three more lazy minutes. Slowly Magnus pulled Alec towards a large ornate sofa. They fell in to it and as they did so their lips erupted against each other with a furious passion. Theirs limbs entangled and their hand fluttered over every curve of each other's body.
"I love you," Magnus whispered in a strangled voice.
Alec answered by bringing on another onslaught of sweet kisses, from his neck to his mouth.
Magnus's fingers were tangled up in Alec's black hair, clutching at every bit of the boy he could find with an unexplained intensity. He could feel Alec's drumming heart beat and feel his ragged breathing caress his face.
He was so alive.
The sun rays were retreating now and the shadows were fighting with each other for space.
It had to be tonight.
Pulling himself away from Alec was painful. Like having all of the thorns from a rose bush penetrate his heart a thousand times over. But he had to do it; Alec's eyes followed his every move, drinking up every twitch in the warlocks form hungrily. A contented smile sat upon his lips although he regretted the withdrawal of his lover.
All he could see was Magnus's back in the gloom of the room. The only light he could see by was natural and that was quickly receding. The setting of the sun was imminent, dusk was almost over.
It was their anniversary. They had travelled to London to celebrate. Magnus had old friends here, but Alec had not met a single one of them since they had arrived but he preferred it that way; a romantic and private holiday, that was what he wanted. It made him feel almost normal, which was always a comforting notion.
Looking back at Magnus he found him standing in the exact same position as before Back turned and unmoving, as if he had been turned to stone.
"Magnus?"
He didn't turn around.
"Can you come here, Alexander?" His voice was hushed and withdrawn. It worried Alec.
Heaving himself off of the tired sofa he walked back to the table.
Back to the beginning again.
Once again he naked his arm around the warlock's waist, but Magnus's body was stiff and unforgiving to Alec's attempts at intimacy. So he stopped. Withdrawing completely. Magnus turned around to face him. With the same fake smile and dead eyes, he held out the glass of wine Alec had seen him with earlier. It stood between them now in Magnus's tight grip.
"A drink? To our anniversary."
Alec shrugged slightly.
"Oh come on, darling. This is a time of celebration. A celebration of how long it has been since you took my heart away and kept it to yourself," he chuckled lightly to himself, "you selfish little thing." His expression was softer now and Alec could see the Magnus he loved again standing beside him rather than the frighteningly hollow one he had endured until now. The warlock's voice was soft and calming, as if Magnus were soothing a child. It made Alec feel safer.
He reached his hand out to take the glass from Magnus. As he took it up to his own lips his hands shook but he did not know why. When Magnus saw Alec's hands his heart almost stopped.
Does he know?
Does he understand?
Alec did not know.
Alec did not understand.
The liquid velvet flowed in to his mouth and down his throat and in to his stomach and the poison went in to his blood and the poison flowed through his veins.
Alexander Lightwood's eyes felt heavy, quite suddenly. The glass fell from his hands and shattered in to a million pieces.
He felt Magnus's strong arms wrap around him as his legs grew too weak to hold him up.
"Everything's going to be alright, my love," Magnus whispered softly in to his ear. Alec had never heard so much emotion in Magnus's voice before. He didn't know why he heard it now. He couldn't think properly, his mind was clouded.
Magnus carried him carefully back over to the sofa as Alec's body grew limper and unresponsive.
"Magnus?" His voice was slurred.
"Yes, my love, my darling, my life?"
"I feel so tired. Why do I feel so tired?"
"Sin is a heavy burden especially when you are carrying the burden of that of another. I am so sorry."
Magnus was looking out of the window and speaking slowly as if his voice, like the glass, would shatter if he were not careful.
The sun had finally died and night ruled over all.
Magnus looked back at Alec. There was no blush in his fair cheeks now. The boy was as white as snow and his lips were paler then before. He had never looked so beautiful, so much like Snow White lying in wait for true love. If only his lips had been ruby red.
Magnus held the boys head in his hand forcing his drowsy eyes open. To Alec Magnus's eyes seemed glassy and bright with a vivid sadness, he thought them beautiful.
"I love you more than anything else in the entire world. I have loved before but I will never love again. You own my heart, Alexander Lightwood. You are my ultimate weakness. Nobody can ever punish me more or hurt me more then I do to myself now. I'm so sorry. I have to Alec... Alec... I can't let you see me become a monster."
He had said it. The issue that had been eating away at his heart for the past two months, the fear that Alec would discover that he was not perfect. The idea that Alec would turn on him and see the evil in his slitted pupils just as Magnus's own parents had done. To hear Alec say that he hated him would have been worse than this.
.He would give in to the darkness now, the demon inside of him. He had no weakness now. No allegiance to anyone in the world. Free of all worldly bonds, Magnus was liberated.
If only Alec could have understood why...
But then he would have known the darkness inside of me. He would have seen how ugly I truly am.
Oh, Alexander, I am a monster and you, you were my only tamer. You tamed my sin and now I shall be damned.
Alexander Lightwood breathed no more and his heart, through which poison had flown, lay still within his breast.
There was once a man who was a fool.
He was a slave to sin.
Pride, vanity and greed were his vices.
He allowed himself to sacrifice his Angel, his heart and his soul for the sake of another who did not deserve it.
He thought his Angel was a restraint and could ultimatley only bring him sadness but after his Angel's death he never slept or loved again.
Never again did a smile pass his lips or a sparkle come to his eys.
Dead in his state of immortality, the foolish man lived in eternal punishment for his deeds.
The one he gave up his Angel for abondoned him without pity, thinking him a fool.
Which was very true.
