Chapter One- Trying to be the me without you.

Trying to be the me without you,
It's like driving in a car with no wheels
Flying through the sky with no wings,
A needle in the eye don't sting.
Loick Essien

Flashback:

Elena was almost in tears.

She clung to Damon's leather jacket like her life depended on it, with every intention of never moving, never letting go.

"You said that you'd never leave me," She half whispered, half sobbed. "You promised."

Damon's heart broke.

"And what about last night? Did it mean anything to you? Do I mean anything to you?" Elena gulped loudly, her stomach churning maddeningly as it dropped every second the deafening silence screamed at her.

Damon's protective hold on the distraught brunette in his arms tightened and he squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the tears. Flickers of last night returned to him, flashing fresh in his mind. The way her skin left a trail of goosebumps whenever he touched her, the way she held him like his was the only man in the world. He felt his heart break all over again.

"Elena," He breathed softly, "My dear sweet Elena. I can't deny that last night was the best night of my exsistence. You were the last person I ever wanted to hurt. But Im wrong for you. You deserve someone who can give you everything. I can't be that someone."

But his explanation fell upon deaf ears.

Elena stepped back, just enough to stare into his cobalt blue eyes, but just enough to keep her hold on him. Her hands wandered up his chest, fingers trailing across his throat, to rest on either side of his face. He felt his whole body igniting.

"You," She stated with complete confidence, eyes glazing over. "are the only person who's ever made me feel truly alive. You were always that someone, Damon."

Damon tried to look away, but he was already too lost in her eyes. His name floated off her tongue desperately, her hands keeping his head locked in place. All he could see was her. Emotions were running wild, too far gone to turn them off now.

"Your all I ever wanted."

There was no way of stopping the tears now, no way of pretending that she wasn't the same for him. He was acutely aware of Alaric, Bonnie and Caroline watching them, even more so for the tears that were partly streaming for them. In a way, they had been his family, and it had been a long time since he had ever had anything close.

"Damon, please, don't go." Elena choked, breathing rapid and uneven. "You have a home here. You have me."

Damon wanted to scream in frustration. He knew that, of course he knew that. Elena, Alaric, damn, even Caroline and Bonnie were the best things he never knew he could have. But he also knew this was a decision he had to make. This was always going to happen. He just couldn't bear the thought of sticking around to watch the girl he loved wither away and die, when he would still be the same person he was now.

He pulled Elena into another embrace, dropping a light kiss on her forehead. He wanted to stake himself right then and there for all the pain he was causing her on top of everything else she had been through. Guilt washed through his body, but he didn't bother trying to prevent the flood, he just went along and let it drown him. He needed to feel this.

Elena's body rocked with spasms as she sobbed into his shoulder. She couldn't believe she was saying goodbye to another important part of her life. The part that forced her to hold on and brave the storm. The part that had saved her from herself many of times.

In pure abandonment and selfishness, she clamped a hand around his raven black head of hair and closed in on the lips she had yearned more than anything to touch again. It was soft at first, their lips gently molding together, building up urgency as their tongues touched tentively. In that bittersweet moment, it was only them. But Elena knew better than to expect time to stop for her. The salty taste lingered, the aftermath of their mingled tears. It was the sweetest thing either of them had ever tasted.

"I love you," Damon's voice cracked out. His head rested against her's, eyes boring deep. "I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you and I dont doubt for a minute that I'll ever stop loving you."

Elena swallowed, hard, and brushed a finger across his lips. "If you feel that way," She whispered. "Then why do you have to leave?"

Her question was simple enough, and he knew how logical the answer could be. Instead, he kept quiet and untangled himself reluctantly from her hold, the warmth of her touch dissipitating instantly.

Elena watched as he closed the space between himself and their audience and she sobbed again, realising she wasn't the only one losing him. She vaguely heard Damon's hushed goodbyes to her history teacher/father figure, smiling sadly when his lip quivered. The two men hugged, forgetting their pride.

Caroline was next. She flew like a shotgun into his arms and they stumbled a couple of steps backwards. Damon chuckled softly and returned the hug with as much vigour as he could. The insecure, neurotic blonde before him was like the sister he never had, and he was grateful for her distraction.

Much to everyone's surprise, Bonnie hugged Damon before he even had time to open his arms. He stood for a moment in shock, until he realised he should probably return the embrace. The witch had never been a fan of Damon or his big bad wolf persona, which made it seem much more saddening.

"Your so sure your making the right choice?" She questioned."Leaving Mystic Falls, Leaving Elena? Is this really the best thing? For any of us?"

Damon chuckled lightly again, quoting her from the last school dance Mystic Falls High held. "Careful, judgey, might start to think that you care."

Bonnie scoffed. "Don't joke about this Damon" She scolded. "This is real. Of course I care. Elena's future depends on your actions."

Damon growled in annoyance. "You think I don't know that, witch?" He spat. "I thought you'd be glad I was out of Elena's life. This is whats better for her. This is whats gonna help her move on."

Bonnie shrugged and the pulled apart. "Im glad you so sure. I know how much she loves you, Damon. And your wrong."

Damon squeezed his eyes shut, biting his tongue and swallowing the lump in his throat. "Thank you, Bonnie. For everything. Take care."

Damon even surprised himself by using her real name instead of 'witch' or 'judgy'. Bonnie just smiled.

Now that the goodbyes were over, this was really it. He was really leaving. His bags were already in the trunk. All that was left now was to get in the car and speed away. Far away. Elena stood in the driveway, her hair billowing around her wet face. She hugged herself fiercely, trying to keep warm. Damon couldn't bring himself to close the space between them. He didn't think they'd ever get over the goodbye. Instead, he climbed into the car, the engine roaring to life as he closed the door. The wheels rolled across the gravel, carrying him towards a search of a new home.

Behind him, Elena took off in a sprint, trying desperately to keep up. Alaric went after her, his arm wrapping around her waist, keeping her from going any further. She kicked and thrashed in his hold, calling out Damon's name until her voice became scratched and her throat became dry.

Even out of the drive, Damon heard her sobbing and screaming for him.

The remains of the shaky ground her walked on finally went Kaboom.

End Of Flashback

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