A/N: This whole thing started so innocently. Seriously! I couldn't get the song from 'Annie Get Your Gun', the one where they sing "Anything you can do I can do better" "I can do anything better than you" "No you can't" "Yes I can" "No you can't" "Yes I can, yes I can, yes I can!"... or something like that. Anyway, I finally decided the song fit the kind of love/hate relationship between Takeshi and Hitomi and took advantage of it. So here it is-- enjoy! Oh yeah... I tried a Ryo first person POV. Tell me what you think. (This is your not-so-subtle hint to REVIEW!!)
Anything...
It had all started so innocently. I don't even know how I got roped into it. I mean, I was just minding my own business when Hitomi popped up behind me with that half-smile of hers that says 'I've got a plot cooking and I want you to be a part of it'.
"Go away, Hitomi. I'm not going to be a part of it," I said quickly, jamming a welding helmet on my head and grabbing a torch. "Now hurry up and leave so you don't get poisoned by any fumes."
Hitomi tapped my helmet. "What will you be welding? There's nothing here to--"
"Oh, stop it!" I snapped. "Last time I got roped into a three-dimensional chess tournament after which Hikaru battered me in the training arena for beating him in ten moves!"
"That was last time," Hitomi said. "You won't be directly involved this time."
"I don't even want to be indirectly involved, Hitomi!" I cried, "Cant you see that from my pathetic attempt to hide from you?!" I pulled off the welding helmet and leaned forward. "I'm not going to be part of it. Forget it. End of story!" I waved my hands for emphasis.
With a smirk, Hitomi reached up and tweaked my nose. "Please Ryo?" She wheedled, pleading with me, her dark eyes gazing at me, begging me to say yes.
I'd never really been able to say 'no' to those eyes. "Oh…fine," I muttered. "What nefarious plot do you have in mind this time? Are we going to see how many times Hikaru can stomp all over me before my guts spill out?!"
Hitomi glared at me, snorting in disgust. "No, Takeshi and I are just arranging a little contest, and we want you to be the referee. We both agreed you'd be the best person for the job."
It was then I knew it for certain… I'd really gotten myself into a mess this time.
"Okay, on my mark. Ready… set…" I glanced up from my timepiece. "Are you two sure you want to do this?"
Annoyed glares met my suggestion.
"Okay, okay," I said, backing down. "On your marks, get set… go, I guess."
The two of them dove into their platefuls of slop with vigor.
I sighed, cradling my chin in one hand and holding the timepiece with another. "Dum, dum, dum-dum, dum, dum…" I muttered, sort of half-singing a tune I just started to make up as I went along.
"Are you calling us dumb?!" Takeshi demanded, glancing up.
"Less talking, more slurping …er… eating!" I ordered.
Takeshi complied.
I continued to stare at the timepiece, bored.
"Done!" Takeshi crowed.
"Six minutes, forty-seven point two-five seconds," I intoned. "Hitomi?"
She gulped down her last bowl. "Done," She gasped.
"See?" Takeshi pointed out, "I can eat fifteen bowls of slop faster than you can!"
"I'm amazed you can even eat the stuff, much less eat it in that quantity," I muttered. But of course no one was listening to me. No, I'm only the refereee, why would anyone listen to me?!
"Yeah, well I know something you can't beat me at!" Hitomi snapped at Takeshi, "Knitting!"
"Burping!" Takeshi shot back.
"Who says I want to be better than you at burping?!" Hitomi demanded.
"Who said I wanted to be better at knitting?!" Takeshi replied.
"Fine. Chess," She hissed, eyes narrowing.
"Three dimensional," Takeshi smirked.
They both turned to me. Uh-oh, I thought. Here it comes…
Without saying a word, each of them grabbed an arm and drug me from the room. "Ack! Guys! I have legs! And I even know how to use them!!" I cried, my pleas falling on deaf ears. After all, they had a contest to get to. Who would listen to the Techie they were pulling in half as they turned in opposite directions?
With a sigh, I wrenched free and took the lead, heading to my room, which of course had a portable 3d chess holograph. Otherwise who knows how I would have gotten away…
"Checkmate," Hitomi said smugly.
I was trying to keep my eyes open, but the chess game had been so much of a joke it'd been an insult to my eyes. The two of them knew nothing of strategy, or maybe they were both to busy trying to figure out how to kill each other's pieces they simply didn't notice they'd practically dropped the entire meaning of the game.
"I'll beat you at our next even," Takeshi vowed.
I didn't dare ask, but Hitomi did. "And what will that be?" She asked.
Takeshi grinned. "Hand-to-hand combat."
I swallowed nervously. "Maybe Sensei Keiken could oversee the match…" I suggested, slowly making a move for the door.
Simultaneously, both Takeshi and Hitomi grabbed me.
"I say we don't let go of him until we reach the sparring rooms," Takeshi said, a devilish gleam in his eye.
"I second that," Hitomi grinned.
After watching the two of them go at it for awhile and seeing a clear leader in the fight for the entire time, I finally called it off. "Hitomi has you beat, Takeshi," I said. "No doubt about it."
"You're a traitor to your own kind!" Takeshi snapped. "Letting the girl win. Is it just because she's an engineer like you?"
"First of all, she's nothing like me. She lacks the finesse and originality to make field adjustments, as well as the advanced knowledge an engineer such as myself would require. She is a second-rate technician, nothing more, nothing less."
"I'm a pilot," Hitomi shot back.
"And so am I. It practically comes with the job," I replied. Just like that, I was sucked into the competition.
"Let's see you beat me!" She snapped.
I shrugged amiably and followed her onto the mat. Takeshi said "Go!" and I promptly kicked her feet out from under her so she landed on her back on the mat.
Kneeling, I placed my index finger between her nose and her top lip and pushed. Hitomi tried to sit up, squirmed uncomfortably and finally cried, "Okay, Okay! I give!"
I stood up and backed off. "It's called the filtrim. A bundle of nerves right there, very sensitive. Easy to knock anyone into submission. A trick used by martial artists for hundreds of years." I folded my arms. "Now both of you quit squabbling over this 'who's better than who' business and just do you jobs! Try to get along for a change!"
Hitomi grinned. "I know one thing Takeshi and I can do to start working together," She said.
I was of half a mind to say 'good' when I noticed the gleam in her eye and thought better of saying so.
"Like what?" Takeshi asked.
"Like… chasing Ryo out of here and wreaking havoc on his labs! We'll put everything away-- then he'll never find anything!"
My mouth dropped open as the two of them cackled maniacally and dashed from the room.
"Wait-- wait!! I won't be able to find anything! You can't do this! It was your idea to spar me and… Hitomiiiiiii!!"