Crash Chapter 1, a degrassi fanfic

AN: Well this is my first ever one-shot. So I hope you enjoy. I got the idea while listening to music. I loved the song and thought it would be a cute little story... So it's kind of a song-fic.

Remember I don't own Degrassi and I don't own Crash by Good Charolette.

Turns out there is alot of firsts in this story... first oneshot, first sex scene, first time I've posted anything pushing 5k words. Warning there is sex and cussing... enjoy!

It feels so strange
To be back at your place
You look away
A smile creeps across your face
Remember the sounds, the laughs, the screams, the crashing plates
How we'd lay awake all night and listen to the rain

What if I just crash here tonight?
I can tell you're lonely
You've seen this look a thousand times
Don't you know what it means?
I just came by to get my things
But now we're both here wondering
What if I just crash here tonight?
Would you let me?

Would you let me?
Would you let me?

I knock on the door
And feel the nervousness inside
You open it up and say hello
And it subsides

So I can admit I've said some things that just aren't true
And we both agree we've done some things we shouldn't do

Would you let me?
Would you let me?

I know you've been trying so hard to forget me
Ignoring all my calls and I know you've been lonely
And all your girlfriends they won't even look at me

I heard about the guy that you started to date
I heard about the drama
Yeah I heard that you're late
I did the math and we both know what that means

Would you let me crash
Would you let me crash
Would you let me

Crash

Eli

I sighed heading over to Clare's apartment, which use to belong to us. It was pretty late but I knew this was the only time I could do this. She finished packing up the last of my things since I had been away on business. Having just got back in town I figured might as well get it over with as Adam always says "just rip the bandage off.". This hurts more then a bandaid. Much worse.

Since I got home I've nothing but rumors about Clare's new boyfriend. About her late night partying, her coming home late with him... I gripped the steering wheel tightly remembering the rumors that Clare had bought a pregnacy test. I tried to ask Alli about her but she wouldn't even look at me much less say a thing to me. Hell Adam couldn't even help me cause she had stopped talking to him as well cause he reminded her so much of me. I again sighed as I pulled into the parking lot.

I sat for a while looking up at the front door to the only place I really considered home. I felt another tear slide from my eye as I thought of all the laughter we shared painting the walls. All the noises we make while in bed, the silence afterwards as we'd lay in bed. I remember she always liked to do it while it was raining so afterwards we'd listen to the rain and fall asleep in eachothers arms. I laid my head forward on Morty's wheel as I my thoughts began to float to all the arguements, the times we'd scream at eachother. Or the time Clare thought I was cheating on her when I started having to leave town on business trips. I watched helplessly as she cried over the broken plate she threw at me and broke on the wall. I remember how she broke down when she realized it was the one her mother had given her before leaving to join Darcy in Kenya. Just as I remember her breaking down when she found out the plane her mom had been on crashed and no one survived.

I tried to conpose myself as I looked back up at Clare's place. I wanted to throw up every time I thought about it as Clare's place instead of our place. It felt really strange being here only to get a few things and then leave. It was strange to think that I wouldn't stay and lay beside her. It was strange but I had to do this. I had to face her and all she has done to me, all that has happened to her. I just hope that the he isn't there. I wouldn't know because she won't answer my calls or text or emails or anything. It's as if she's been trying to forget about me. Leave me in the past. To bad I couldn't do that same.

I take a deep breath and get out of the car. I can barely breath as I get closer to her door, closer to her, closer to the end. My knees are shaking as I stand in front of the only place I'll ever consider home again. I nervously knock on the door. I wait and wait... and wait. I knock one more time louder. I am very nervous about seeing her again. I have been gone for over a month and we had broken up weeks before I had left. I think I'm about to throw up... Once that thought passed through my mind the door opened and I hear a quiet hello.

My heart stops and all nervousness is gone when I see the red eyes and patchy face. My Clare has been crying. It's all I can do not to grab her into my arms and hold her close to me until she had no more worries. My own nervousness was gone as I watch her small frame move and step aside so I can step in.

"What are you doing here?" She asked wipping at her face, rubbing her eyes in a sleepy way. My heart skipped at how adorible she looked right then as she leaned against the door and looked up at me.

"I thought I should go ahead and get the last of my things. I got back in town and all and just got a new place. Cece is happy about it... but..." I trailed off not being able to say out loud my thoughts. About how miserable I am and how I didn't want to live on my own, not without her. She looked down as if to ignore what I hadn't said out loud. "Why are you crying?"

"Your things are in our...I mean my room. I'll get them." She replied also ignoring my question. She walks past me into the apartment. I follow her looking down as I walked through the hall. I look up as I get into the living room and stop in my tracks. All the lights were out except for the lamp in the kitchen. Plates and clothing lay around everywhere and I could see where she had been nested on the couch before I had arrived. I take a seat on the couch beside her blanket and in front of her jar of ice cream. Oh shit she was depressed.

She never was messy, and she only eats ice cream alone in the dark on occasions when she is depressed. I groaned at myself as I thought of what I had heard from the moment I got back into town. I've only seen her like this one time, after her mom died. She would beg me to take her out to bars and she let her house go. I remember finding her that night she found out and she trashed her childhood home and I found her wrapped in a blanket crying her eyes out. The memory made me want to cry even more knowing this was my fault. Knowing she went back to this because I couldn't let my job go because I couldn't ease up on my intense feelings.

I heard a crash in the bed room and looked over to see the lights were still off. I got up and walked to the door way to see her reaching into the top of the closet. I flipped on the light and watched as she struggled to reach a box I only assumed was mine. "Do you need any help?" I asked trying to stop myself from staring at her ass.

She looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a small appreciative smile as she stepped away from the closet. I moved past her barely holding in the groan as I got a whiff of her scent. I carefully stepped over things laying on the floor and pulled down the box from the top. It had my name on it and I walked over to place it on the bed then I looked at her. She was grabbing another one from under the dresser. This time I couldn't stop myself from ogling her curves. She was so beautiful it took all I had not to walk over and slip my hands around her hips and pull her to me. I missed her, I miss her touch, the soft warmth of her body close to mine. I traced my gaze down her bare legs, then something on the floor caught my eye. Why the hell did she have a baby magazine on the floor. I looked over to the closet and noticed a box that held a crib that needed to be put together.

I ran out of the room and too the bathroom, I couldn't hold it in anymore, I threw up. I was shaking so badly as I held the sides of the toliet. The thought of someone else touching my Clare, of having her here in our bed I threw up again. I couldn't do it. I shouldn't have came here I should have let her have my things. Seeing what I had heard was true was tearing me apart. "Oh Eli are you okay?" She asked rushing in to my side and pulling my hair out of my face.

I closed my eyes at the sound of her voice saying my name. I couldn't let her know what was really wrong. I had to be supportive for her. Obviously things weren't going well for her. I love her and I will prove it by not putting her through anymore hell. I threw up one last time and sat back putting my face in my hands. I felt something wet touch my hands and I looked between my fingers to see Clare giving me a wet wash cloth. I took it and pressed it against my heated face. "Thanks." I choked out through my burning throat.

I felt fingers running through my hair as we sat there quietly. I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling while it lasted. "Come on why don't we get you into the living room. I'll get you some water." She said gently into my ear grabbing my wrist. I allowed her to pull me up and I followed her into the living room. I sat in the dark as she made her way to the kitchen to get me a drink. I sighed as I looked at the floor noticing a picture of us laying under the glass table. I smirked a little grimacing at the nasty taste in my mouth.

"Here you go." She sat down beside me handing me the glass.

"Thanks." I said again chugging it down.

"Are you sick?" she asked looking at her hands then up at me. I just nodded finishing up the glass of cool water. "I didn't know you were coming or I would have cleaned up." She stated looking at the floor.

"You're depressed?" I questioned, sounding more like a statement I looked at her. Her cheeks flushed a little but she didn't say anything.

"It's been rough lately." She finally said. I looked at her sadly. "How was your trip?"

"It was boring. Who would have known that writers are getting more and more egocentric these days." I stated sitting back against a pillow she had.

"Me. You are a writer after all." She answered with a small smile. My heart skipped a beat as I saw a little shine in her eyes as she attempted to joke with me. I chuckled and started feeling at ease again.

"I tried to call while I was there. I texted you tonight letting you know I was on my way over. Kind of as a warning."

"I lost my phone, somewhere here. I think it was left on silent from a movie night Alli forced me too. It's probably dead by now. What do you mean as a warning? I'm not scared of you Eli."

"I just wanted you too know just incase you had company. Cece told me you've been hanging out with this guy. I didn't want to interupt."

"Jake?" She asked with a disgusted, confused look on her face. "How the hell did your mom know about him?"

"Rumors travel far." I said. I could feel the bowel crawling up my throat again at the memory of one certain memory being confirmed just a moment ago.

"Rumor would be the key word. Eli, Jake... Well I mean not to say he hasn't tried but we're only casual. Nothing is between us." Yep I think I am going to throw up again. I don't ever want to think about someone else on top of her, touching her in the place only I had.

"I don't want to know details. Why are you living like this?"

"Eli! Me and him aren't like that. I admit I've made mistakes these past few months. Hell I made some while I was with you... Not like that... But just because I couldn't do it anymore doesn't mean that I don't miss you. Eli you have no clue how...nevermind. " I pinned my eyebrows together trying to read her expression through the darkness. "I'm lonely. I can't stand living here by myself."

"That's why you've been bringing Jake home?"

"What the fuck did you just say?" She asked me anger dancing in her eyes.

"Don't you say your lonely, not always. I'm the one who's been alone. Traveling with no one to call and talk to, no one night stands, no clubing, nothing. You've been partying and bring home guys."

"What the hell. Where did you hear that?"

"Around. What I want to know is how long have you been sleeping with him? Did you two get together right after us? I saw the crib, I heard about the pregnacy test, is that why Jake wants more?" I yelled suddenly very angry with her. How dare she give another man what I so badly wanted. How dare she sit here crying when she has a chance to move past this. How dare she say she's lonely when she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. "Well is it. Huh, is a christian too. Does he not want to live in sin and have a baby out of wedlock. I bet it was real nice having someone to fuck all this time."

She jumped up and stared down at me. Tears coming to her eyes. "I... I can't believe you just said that." She whimpered and I did the only thing I could think of. Seeing her cry made all my anger vanish and I stood up pulling her into my arms. I forced her to sit down on my lap and I pulled her closer. She cried into my shoulder and as I held her I couldn't help but be happy. In spite the fact she was crying I couldn't help but think about the situation one sidely... Clare Edwards was in my arms.

"I haven't been out partying." She whispered into my ear. Her voice was cracked from her tears so it was hard to understand her.

"What?" I asked her petting her hair. She pulled away from me and whipped her eyes. She looked up at me with those amazing blue eyes and I couldn't breath. She looked scared and lost and I wanted nothing more then to make that feeling vanish away from her. It was what I was made for to make her happy. Without thinking I leaned down and crashed my lips to hers. At first she did nothing, as if I had stunned her. Then she responded deepening the kiss and wrapping her arms around my neck. When she pulled away she looked up at me more tears threatening to fall.

I placed my forehead to hers closing my eyes trying to catch my breath. She tasted the same as I always remembered. "I said I haven't been partying. No late nights getting in, no steamy nights having sex."

I looked up at her. "But Jake..." I started.

"He was there when I bought the pregnacy test. He was the cashier, he had to help me cause I didn't know what I was doing. I met him when I got it. Eli, I'm three months pregnant." She whispered the last part staring into my eyes.

I stared back at her, at first her words didn't register. When they did I crashed my lips to her. I was at a loss for words and I couldn't do anything else. I just had to have her. I pulled her closer to me gripping on to her sides tightly as I shoved my tongue past her lips when she gasped. All my anger and pain was gone. Clare Edwards was kissing me back with as much passion as I was giving and just confessed that I was the father of the child she was carrying.

I moved us and layed her down and gently hovered over top of her. "I love you!" I declared as I pulled my lips from hers and gazed into her amazing eyes. "I love you so much. I'm sorry for everything." I whispered before I started trailing kisses all over her face. My hands began to explore her body over her clothes. I was so glad for her shorts as my hands came in contact with her bare legs.

She gasped as I slipped my finger tips under her short legs and felt up to her panty line. My lips moved down her jaw line to her ear which I nipped at until she whined in pleasure. My hands moved up her body as my lips moved down her neck. I latched on to her collar bone as my hands slipped under her shirt. I stopped as I felt her stomach. I pulled away touching her skin. Our eyes met and hers was full of concern and lust and sadness.

"I'm going to be a father?" I asked, she nodded. I smiled at her with joy. "Do you mind if I crash here tonight? With you and the baby?"

Instead of answering me Clare's lips collided with me again. In the distance I could slightly hear what I thought sounded like thunder. I smirked against her lips. I gripped her thighs and pulled back into sitting position with her following me. I slowly stood up her legs wrapping around me for support as I carried her to the bedroom. I carefully stepped over forgotten items. Unfortunately not everything made it. "I think I found your phone." I chuckled.

"Oh well." She simply said as I laid her before me on the bed. I kissed her legs making her squirm. I smirked at the look on her face as I nipped on the inside of her thigh. I gave her a questioning look as my fingers played at the waistline of her shorts. She gave me a bashful nodded which I found charming. I was stunned that even though we've done this many times she was still remained seemingly innocent to the vaulger nature of our nights together. I slowly pulled her shorts down my fingers expertly catching her underwear too pulling them both off in one swift movement. I tossed them over my shoulder before looking down at her.

Holy fuck I've missed her. I thought as I saw how wet she was. She rubbed her legs together and I looked up at her. She looked almost as if she was unconfortable under my stare. I smiled at her reassuringly before placing a kiss on her hip. I pulled her shirt up and kissed her stomach before pulling her up to take off the offending material. This too got tossed over my shoulder until all that remained was her I looked up confused... She wasn't wearing a bra. I grinned at her and dipped my head to her chest taking in a perfect nip into my mouth. I groaned at the taste.

"I've missed you so much." I groaned before latching on to the other side. She fell back and gasped bringing her hand to the back of my head. Her fingers dug into the back of my head. I smirked as I started moving lower on her. Her nails dug into my scalp and I hissed in pleasure. I continued until I reached the one place I wanted more then anything to be in. Without any hesitation I dived in between her legs and licked her. I had to taste her to have her on my tongue to have her scream my name. "Fuck you taste amazing." I groaned as she threw her head back and arched into my mouth. I sucked her clit in and clintched it between my lips as I flicked it with my tongue causing her to cry out. God how I've missed her sounds.

I reached my hands up using one to push her legs open wider and the other to slip between her folds. I thrusted two fingers into her and she cried out louder this time. I knew my name was coming soon. "Please Clare say my name." I moaned up to her as I lapped at her sensitive clit. I curled my fingers up in her and she screamed.

"Elijah!" I heard her moan and I smirked. I trailed kisses up her body as my fingers found a steady rhythm just the right about of pressure and speed to keep her on the edge but not enough to push her over. I found her lips and harshly kissed her. I needed her. I was past the point of being kind about it. I thrusted my tongue into her mouth at the same pace as my fingers causeing her to moan. "Please Eli." She gasped as I pulled my lips away to catch my breath.

"Please what?" I teased.

"Please take off you clothes." She growled suddenly flipping me over. In the process of her suddenly being on top of me my fingers slipped from her and I whimpered from the sudden loss. She smirked down at me as she straddled my body. Slowly she removed my shirt.

She place sweet kisses across my chest and moved to remove my pants. Her hand barely brushed my throbbing member before she sat back on top of me. She looked down at me about to come down on top of me. I grabbed her hips real quick stopping her. "Wait a condom." I grunted with impatients. She laughed causeing me to give her a confused look.

"Eli I'm already pregnant what more could happen." She stated and I mentally slapped my head. I didn't have long to think about the stupid comment I had just made because she slammed down on top of me. We both cried out at the feeling. We needed this. Both of us need this moment, this feeling so badly.

As she connected our bodies it seemed like all those lonely nights apart never happened. I peered at her between lidded eyes as she slowly began to move over top of me. Her brest slightly bounced in my face as she rocked back and forth. I cressed her nipple with my tongue and gripped my hips and slid her over me. "Fuck." I grunted as she twisted over me causing her to squeeze over me. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. She looked fucking sexy as hell rocking over me. Her eye closed in pleasure. I light shine of sweat began covering her body.

My hands made it to her stomach and I began rubbing her as she continued her slow pace over me. That was enough I thought as I flipped us gently placing her on her back and spreading her legs further. I looked into her eyes before thrusting hard and fast into her. This new angle allowed me to enter her further and she cried out in sheer pleasure. "Fuck Clare you're still so tight." I groaned into her ear as I held her legs apart.

She arched up to meet each of my thrust, her hands clawed at my back as she screamed my name over and over. The sound of it made me want to cum right there. No I wasn't going to last much longer. At that realization I moved a hand between us and began applying pressure to her clit. "Oh fuck yes clare cum for me." I groaned sucking on her neck and chest. I picked up my pace and slammed into her as I felt my pleasure about to hit the boiling point. I pressed my finger into her hard and she screamed louder then I think I've ever heard her scream.

Right before I came into her my mind flashed back on our past. All the times we'd had sex, all the late night chats, all the laughters and good times, all the memories from high school, the fact I was going to be a dad. The very last thing I thought of as I looked down into her face which was the same face that she had when we had first made love, was how much I love her and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. "Clare!" I groaned when I finally spilled into her convulsing center. I jerked against her as she shaked from her own aftermath. I laid there on top of her as we slowly rode our wave of pleasure.

My head was buried in her neck as I tried to gain my breath. I grew dizzy with each breath I took because all I could smell was her. My Clare. My life my love. "Will you stay with me?" I asked pulling away to see a smile on her face. She looked up at me questioningly. "Clare Diane Edwards, will you please make me the happiest man ever. You're having my child that is enough. But promise one day when I ask an important question you will say yes." I finished proping myself over top of her.

She smirks and pushes my hair out of my face. "Under one condition." I raised an eyebrow at her. and she giggles. "You have to crash here tonight." She finished and I exhale in relieaf and crash my lips to hers. I roll over and pull her close to me.

"Hey listen... It's raining." I say kissing the top of her head. She hugs me and curls up beside me tangling her legs with mine. I pull the blankets up over us and we lay there listening to the rain until we both fall asleep.

AN: Well my first ever one-shot. Didn't think it would have lemon is it but I guess it does now. Hope I didn't screw it up. Let me know if it was good!