WARNING: Reading excessive drabbles for extended periods of time may result in brain damage, repeated eye twitches, and stupidity-induced drooling.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Shugo Chara characters. I do, however, own Kimi and Cheyenna~ Heh. OWNED.
Chirping birds, a gentle breeze from my open window, and a cup of instant ramen cooling on my desk next to me made my day perfect. I had occupied myself by reading the latest chapter of Shugo Chara Encore, which I had successfully pulled up on my laptop. I had granted myself a day off to take a break from the harsh realities of a writer's life.
"What the hell are you doing?!" a chibified voice screeched painfully behind me, slapping the back of my head and scaring me to the point of nearly chucking my cup of instant ramen at my assailant. "You're supposed to be working!"
"But-but…." I sniveled, only succeeding in making myself look stupid. "Ri-Ri-Taaaan! I need a break! I've been writing non-stop for God-knows-how-long!"
The blonde chibi-demon glared at me, giving a new meaning to the phrase if looks could kill. "Is lazing around on your butt all day going to make your readers happy?!" she snapped, and I flinched. In all honesty, I was scared of the things Rima was capable of doing. I wasn't scared of Rima in general—I found it impossible to be scared of someone the size of a seven-year old.
"No…"
"Then why aren't you writing?" Her awesomer-than-thou attitude was starting to bug me.
"Because I need a break!" I wailed. "I've got writer's block, and when I have writer's block, my brain stops working!"
"You have a brain?" the little nasty snorted, giving me a disbelieving look.
I glowered at Rima for about thirty seconds, and she returned the scowl, though she didn't look as menacing as (I thought) I did by half.
"Heeeeey!" A loud, obnoxious voice squealed from my doorway, and my head snapped up. Dear God. "How're my two favorite midgets today?!" I suddenly found myself being choked in a vice-grip-like hug, and the only solace I took in this was the knowledge that Rima was being squeezed to death as well.
"Can't… Breathe…" I spluttered, and the newcomer let go of both of us, wearing a sheepish grin. "How many times have I told you not to do that?" I inquired, and Rima let out a small, angry growl beside me.
"Sorry," the redhead murmured. "I forgot..."
"Honestly, Cheyenna," I sighed. "Just because something's cute and fluffy doesn't mean you have to hug it. One of these days, you're going to find out that under the adorableness, small fluffy dogs do, indeed, have fangs." This wasn't the best analogy, but it would have to do.
"You're anything but cute and fluffy," Rima sniffed in disdain. "Dumb and lazy's more like it."
"Says the satanic blonde," I retorted, causing Cheyenna to giggle insanely. Someone needed to put that girl on some sort of medication. Either that, or take her off of the medication she was already on. Prozac, anyone?
"And anyway," Rima said hotly, glaring at Cheyenna. "I am not a midget!"
"Oh-really…" I muttered under my breath, and she stomped on my foot. "Was that supposed to hurt?"
"You stupid, idiotic, reckless, dim, brainless, thick-headed—"
"Oh, look! Ri-Ri-Tan's learning her adjectives today!" I clapped my hands in mock-praise.
"Don't call me 'Ri-Ri-Tan!'"
"SHUT UP!!" Rima and I both fell silent at the sudden outburst from Cheyenna, who had crossed her arms and was glaring at both of us rather nastily. Can you say "Bi-polar?" After a pregnant silence, her voice returned to its honey-sweet tone. "It's not nice to fight," she giggled, and my left eye twitched. One of these days, I was going to snap. She was going to make me crazy.
"Anyway," Rima attempted to change the subject by turning back to me. "Why aren't you writing?" I was wrong—she hadn't been trying to change the subject at all.
"Because you're so evil and nasty that it's practically impossible to show your sentimental side," I volunteered. Rima probably would've hit me if another voice hadn't interrupted.
"See?! I told you that earlier! But you wouldn't listen!" Kimi validated, giving me a look. I fell backward.
"When did you even get here?!" I squeaked in alarm, and she shook her head, making a clucking sound with her tongue.
"Somewhere between 'idiotic' and 'thick-headed'" Oh yay.
"Why do you always have to show up at the most inconvenient times?" I deadpanned, rolling my eyes.
"I brought pocky~"
"WHERE?!" I screeched, lunging for the box in her hand. Sadly, Kimi was taller than I, and able to hold the box safely out of my reach. "You SUCK!!" I wailed, while Rima and Cheyenna looked on in amusement.
"Sit," she commanded, and I glowered.
"No." Kimi shrugged and started to put the box away. I sat down on the floor quickly and gazed up at her with sparkly eyes, sacrificing my dignity for a snack. Kimi tossed me a stick of pocky, which I snatched and proceeded to chew on while muttering darkly to myself.
Cheyenna sweatdropped. "Trading pocky for pride," she chided, and I think I snarled. "Her brain always was in her stomach." The redhead flopped down in my previously-occupied chair and helped herself to my ramen.
"Am I the only sane person here?" Rima wailed, looking frantically from side to side in hopes of spotting someone with a brain.
"Probably," a deeper voice confirmed from outside my window. Cheyenna choked on a noodle, and Kimi looked up, also recognizing the voice.
"Ikurin!" Kimi shouted gleefully, sticking her head out the window while Cheyenna attempted to dislodge the ramen from her trachea. I slunk over and seized the box of pocky that Kimi had dropped before skulking back to my corner.
"Yo," the newest voice greeted to no one in particular. A shape with cat-ears and a tail swung its legs through the window while Kimi skittered onto my bed to avoid being kitty-kicked. "Of course you all decide to gather in a room on the third floor," the voice complained irritably.
"Why should it matter to you?" I asked dismissively, abandoning the box that I had successfully emptied and scrambling over to re-join the group. "You jump up to third-story windows all the time." The way I said it, Ikuto may as well have been a stalker.
"I hit my head on a tree branch," he admitted, batting in an uncannily cat-like manner at a leaf that had lodged itself in his midnight blue hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Cheyenna snatch the discarded piece of greenery from my floor and stick it in her pocket. Creepy stalker fangirl.
Kimi let loose in a fit of uncontrollable giggles, making us all question her sanity, and Ikuto glanced around the room. "I would've thought more of you would have gotten together by now," he observed. I twitched.
"What's that supposed to mean?! I just wanted to take a day off and relax!" I wailed, tears collecting in my eyes. "You all suck!"
Cheyenna flicked her wrist dismissively. "Oh, don't be such a spoiled princess," she scolded, and I fumed.
"Princess? Hm, that reminds me," Ikuto perked up, a sick grin playing on his face. He looked around the room, and then called, "Prince!"
Poing. We could practically hear the onomatopoeia from God-knows-where.
I facepalmed. Of course, Ikuto couldn't go five minutes without antagonizing Tadase, who busted through the door half a second later with fire practically shooting from his eyes. "Don't call me PRINCE! I am the KING!" He shouted maniacally, and proceeded to give his classic evil-chibi-king laugh. "MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Something sounded off about it, though.
"I think you mean "Mua-hahahaha," I pointed out, and the King stopped ranting long enough to stare at me for half a second.
"Don't correct me, PEASENT!" He boomed, but his next creepy laugh sounded more realistic. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
"For God's sake, don't encourage him," Kimi grumbled, shooting me daggers. Kimi was a scary girl indeed, as she was actually taller than I was, unlike Rima, who had fallen silent.
Why had Rima gotten so quiet all of a sudden? I turned away from Kimi's malicious glare to see the little nasty sifting through the numerous documents on my laptop. "Hey!" I screeched, snatching the computer from her with a demonic scowl of my own. "No lookie, no touchy!"
Rima gave me a look. "Whatever you say," she droned, grinning like she'd discovered the secret passage to Narnia. I could only glare in response, secretly fearing what she might've discovered whilst invading my privacy.
Ikuto had assumed a catlike crouch, pawing at a mouse hole that had appeared in my wall seemingly overnight. "Could you shut up?" he hissed at Tadase, who was still ranting like a chibi-psycho. "You'll scare the little bugger…" I didn't even know we had mice—but I had a feeling that by the end of the day, that problem would no longer exist. I kind of felt bad for the mice—being stalked by a ten-pound, fluffy white cat was one thing. Meeting your doom at the hands—paws—of a hundred-and-forty-pound hybrid feline was entirely different.
"Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" Tadase shouted randomly, and I rolled my eyes.
"Yes, we all know what his name is," I pointed out, though the blonde didn't seem to be paying much attention. Suddenly he was seized and hug-strangled by Cheyenna, who had polished off my ramen.
Tadase fumed. "UNHAND ME!!" he screamed, flailing his arms in a futile attempt to get free. Cheyenna turned a deaf ear and simply continued to huggle the Kiddy King, much to everyone's amusement. "IS THIS ANY WAY TO TREAT YOUR KING?! LET GO OF ME THIS—" Slap. Tadase blinked repeatedly, stunned out of his character change. "PWNED" may as well have been written in ink across his face, next to the crimson handprint that now lingered on his left cheek.
Everyone else stared at Cheyenna in total astonishment, none of us able to say a single word. Ikuto was the first to get his voice back, and fell against the wall in a wild fit of laughter. The rest of us joined in while Tadase stood there, eyes wide. Then he did something none of us expected—well, no one except me, and maybe Rima. He started to cry.
"Why'd you hit me?!" he sniffled, giving Cheyenna the "puppy-that's-just-been-kicked" face while nursing the red mark on his cheek. Cheyenna, seeming unfazed by his tears, stared at him evenly.
"You were getting on my nerves," she said unemotionally, switching from happy and obnoxious to her "screw you" attitude at the touch of a button. Definitely bi-polar.
"You didn't have to slap me, though!" Tadase bawled. Beside me, Rima rolled her eyes dramatically.
"Those tears are obviously fake," she informed me, and I nodded in agreement. If anyone knew something about crocodile tears, it was Ri-Ri-Tan.
"I had to do something, before you had an aneurysm," Cheyenna shrugged, and Tadase pouted. "Nothing personal—you were just giving me a headache."
"Meanie…" the blonde sniffed, and Cheyenna grinned and hugged him. Happy pills!
"Anyone else cold?" I questioned, shivering, and Rima raised her hand. I shut my window, cutting off the breeze that had been cooling the room, then spun around when I heard a loud, terrified squeal. Ikuto was sitting on the ground, looking especially triumphant. Rest in peace, little guy…
I noticed that Tadase had retired to an emo corner, despite Cheyenna's clinginess. I had never thought it possible to be emo while someone was hugging you, but Tadase had proved me wrong. I was idly observing them when a loud, shattering crash sounded behind me and something smacked into the back of my head, knocking me forward so that I fell flat on my face.
I scrambled to my feet and turned toward my window. Ikuto, distracted by the loud noise, looked up, the deceased mouse dangling from his mouth. Before I had time to think oh God, EW, I noticed the huge, jagged hole that had been smashed in my window. A soccer ball that hadn't been there five minutes ago sat on the floor at my feet, and I assumed that that was what had nearly caused blunt trauma to my head.
Seething, I threw up what remained of the window, and the surviving glass crumbled and fell from the frame in fragments. "ALRIGHT, WHO'S THE IDIOT THAT JUST DID THAT?!" I snarled, thrusting my head outside and glaring murderously down into my yard. The window would be expensive to replace, and I was not a happy poptart—or so Cheyenna said; I would never know how I earned that nickname.
"Dangit, Kukai!" an irritated voice called. "I told you I was bad at soccer! Now look what you made me do!" I recognized that voice, and immediately regretted being so harsh—the window didn't seem all that important anymore.
"Well sorry!" another voice responded, sounding not sorry at all. "I was tired of you beating me at basketball! It's not my fault you can kick a ball three stories high with enough force to break a window!"
The owner of the first voice looked up at me. "I'm really sorry!" he called, and I shook my head quickly.
"Don't worry about it. But maybe you two should come up here so you don't break someone else's window." The boy nodded sheepishly, and I pulled my head back inside what used to be the window.
"Who was it? Are you going to call the police?" Rima questioned, lying flat on her back on top of my bed and examining the patterns on the ceiling with mild interest. Her voice sounded hopeful for reasons I could only guess at.
"No, Rima. I'm not pressing charges," I assured her, flopping down next to her on the bed. Several moments later, my door opened and two boys stepped in, one of them grinning, the other looking like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
"C'mon, man!" The overly-happy one said, slapping the other's shoulder. "It was an accident! Although," he added, "it wouldn't have happened at all if you were a little better at soccer."
"Says the guy that can't make a basket to save his life!" the second boy retorted hotly, tossing his long violet hair back with a flick of his wrist. Rima sat up, no longer interested at staring at the ceiling, and smirked at me, noticing the newcomers.
"Alright, you two, that's enough," I called, and they both looked at me. "Instead of arguing, why don't you give me a good reason as to why I shouldn't murder the both of you?"
There was a short silence. "Because you love us?" Kukai, the redhead, volunteered hopefully. I laughed.
"Fair enough," I granted. "I'll let it slide, but be more careful."
Kukai grinned. "It wasn't my fault," he insisted, pointing with his thumb at the boy next to him. "Fujisaki has the aim of a blind grandma!" Beside him, the violet-haired boy hung his head.
I couldn't help but laugh. "Nagihiko, I said it's alright," I assured him. "I'm not mad." Nagihiko smiled in response. "And you—" I directed at Kukai. "I've seen you try to play basketball before—you know it's not pretty." Kukai sweatdropped.
"The truth is," Rima chimed in from beside me, looking at Kukai. "If Nagihiko wasn't here, she probably would've skinned you alive." Kukai laughed nervously, and Nagihiko blinked in confusion. I slapped my hand over Rima's mouth.
"That's our Ri-Ri-Tan," I muttered darkly. "Isn't she cute?" The little nasty. Rima pried my hand away from her face.
"Can't breathe, thanks."
"Stupid blondes," I hissed through clenched teeth, and she shot me a glare. I decided to have a little fun and show off my sense of humor. "Kimi-nin," I called, and Kimi looked up at me from where she'd been watching Ikuto playfully mutilate his mouse. "How do you drown a blonde?"
Kimi gave her trademark smirk. "I dunno," she sang, and started to giggle.
"Glue a quarter to the bottom of a swimming pool," I concluded, and Kimi burst into a fit of giggles. From his emo corner, Tadase twitched, and I sensed a dark aura emanating from Rima. Nagihiko let out a small chuckle, while Kukai laughed next to him. Cheyenna continued to cling to Tadase like a baby monkey.
"Hey, shrimp." Ikuto looked up from prodding the dead rodent and turned to Rima. "Why are there so many blonde jokes?"
There was a short silence. Rima shrugged, and I glanced at Kimi, who was watching Ikuto, waiting for him to speak again.
"So the brunettes will feel better," he stated, and everyone but Kimi and I burst into giggles.
"BURNED!!" Kukai shouted, grinning like a madman. Even Tadase gave a dark little laugh from his emo corner, which was a bit scary.
I could tell that this was going to be a long day indeed.