Chapter 2

Skull Kid: Three thousand dollars, hmmm.

Link: Yes, for three months.

Skull Kid: For three months, hmmm.

Link: And Mikau shall be bound. If I fault in paying this, he shall exact the penalty.

Skull Kid: Antonio bound, hmmm.

Link: Can you help me? What's your answer?

Skull Kid: three thousand dollars for three months and Mikau bound.

Link: Your answer?

Mikau Enters

Signor Antonio!

Mikau: Link and Skull Kid.

Skull Kid: (to himself) He looks just like a guy who's robbed me but now comes to beg me for a favor! I hate him because he is Christian. But more than that, I hate him because he stupidly lends money without interest, which lowers the interest rates her in Venice. If I can just get the upper hand of him once, I'll satisfy my old grudge against him. He hates Jews. Even at the Rialto he's always complaining about me and my negotiating and my hard-earned profits, which he calls interest. It would be an insult to Jews everywhere to forgive him.

Link: Shylock, are you listening?

Skull Kid: Oh, yes. Three thousand dollars.

Mikau: For three months.

Skull Kid: Yes, I forgot. Three months. Now then, about your guarantee. Let me see—but listen Mikau, I thought you said you don't lend or borrow with interest.

Mikau: Yes, but that's not how I do business. Mark you this, Link. The devil can recite scripture for his own use. An evil soul using a holy story is like a criminal who smiles at you. He looks like a good apple but he's rotten to the core. Oh, liars can look so honest!

Skull Kid: Three thousand dollars. A nice round sum. Let's see… 3 months from 12, so the rate shall be-

Mikau: Well, Shylock? Are you going to loan us the money or not?

Skull Kid: Mikau, often times you've insulted my money and business in the Rialto. I've always just shrugged and put up with it because we are good at suffering. You called me a heathen, a dirty dog, and you've spit upon me. All because I use my own money to make a good profit. And now it seems you need my help. All right then. You come to me and say 'Skull Kid, we need money.' You say that! Even though you spat on my beard and kicked me like you'd kick a stray mutt out your front door. And now you're asking for money. What can I tell you? Shouldn't I say 'does a dog have money? Is it possible for a mutt to lend three thousand dollars?' Or should I bend down low and in a humble and submissive voice say 'Sir, last Wednesday you've spit on me. You've insulted me on this day, and another time you called me dog. And out of gratitude for these favors, I'll be happy to lend you the money?'

Mikau: I'll probably call you those names again and spit upon you, and reject you again too. If you're going to lend us this money, don't lend it to us as friends. When did friends charge interest? Instead, lend it to me as your enemy. If your enemy goes bankrupt, it's easier for you to take your penalty from him.

Skull Kid: Look at you getting all riled up! I want to be friends with you, and forget all the times you've embarrassed and humiliated me. I want to give you what you need, and not charge a penny of interest. But you won't listen to me! I'm making a kind offer. Zero Percent Financing. Come with me to the notary's to make this bond official. And lets add a little clause just for a joke. If you don't repay me on the day we agree on, in the place we name, for the sum of money fixed in our contract, your penalty will be a pound of your pretty flesh, to be cut off and taken out of whatever part of your body pleases me.

Mikau: It's a deal. I'll agree to those terms and say that there is such kindness in the Jew.

Link: You shall not seal such a bond for me! I'd rather dwell in my necessity!

Mikau: Don't worry, friend! In 2 months, a month before this bond expires, I do expect at least 3 times the sum of this bond. Yes Skull Kid, I'll sign the contract and agree to its terms.

Skull Kid: Then meet me straight away at the notary's. I shall retrieve the money you need. But I need to check my home, first. One of my servants is in charge.

Mikau: Hurry up, my Jewish friend.

Skull Kid Exits

He's so kind you'd think the Jew is turning Christian.

Link: I don't like fair terms and a villain's mind.

Mikau: Come on! There's no reason to worry. My ships come home a month before the day.

Both exit

Enter Ganon, Zelda, and Midna

Ganon: Don't hold my skin color against me. I was born and raised in the sun, which is why I'm dark. But I'm as red blooded as the next man. Show me the best-looking man born in the north, where the sun barely thaws the icicles. I'll win your love by cutting myself to prove to you I have redder blood than he does. I'm telling you, madam, my skin color has made brave men fear me and Moroccan girls love me. I wouldn't change it except to make you think of me, my queen.

Zelda: Being good-looking isn't the only way to my heart. There are other criteria for choosing a husband. Not that it matters, because the box test takes away my free choice anyway. But if my father hadn't restricted me like this-forcing me to marry whoever wins his test-then you'd have as good a chance to marry me as any of the suitors I've met so far.

Ganon: Thanks. Show unto me the caskets to try my fortune.

Zelda: You have to take your chances. Either don't choose at all, or swear beforehand that if you choose wrong, never to talk about marriage to another woman again. Think carefully…

Ganon: Alright. I swear that I shall never marry if I hereby choose wrong. Show me the caskets to try my fortune.

Zelda: We shall enter the temple first. You can take your chances after you've eaten. You won't walk away with nothing if you fail.

Ganon: I shall try my luck later, then. I'll either be the luckiest or the unluckiest man alive.

All exit