A/N: You might be able to tell if you've read any of my other stuff, but I'm a BIG Rose/10 shipper. I also tend to write stories after I go searching for an idea and don't like what I find. So this is another Rose/10 and Rose/Duplicate fic. Someday I want to write an AU where Rose was lying about being pregnant because I've never found one that was finished, but that's not what this is.
Anyway, this is the story, and if you've read "I'm Not Doctor Who, I'm Your English Teacher" you might recognize some of the format, but I'm not going to put up word definitions or anything for this. I don't want to mess with the flow. Thanks for sticking with it this long, I promise to try not to write another Author's Note that's this lengthy.
Paz,
Sydney.
"Often there comes a point in people's lives when, incongruously, someone else is the intrinsic key to that person's survival." Brilliant! It was official. Nothing Rose did was safe. In a desperate attempt to numb the burning behind her eyes that had not stopped since she'd seen the Doctor 10 days ago at Darlig Ulv Stranden, Rose had picked up a book. It was just lying on an end table in Pete's library. That sentence had been the first words she'd laid eyes on. It was like the Universe was trying to torture her. Correction, Rose knew that the Universes were succeeding in torturing her.
The burning, itching feeling was returning with a vengeance. Rose was going through a period of no sleep. That first week in the mansion, Rose had not come out of her room until Jackie had dragged her from the bed kicking and screaming. When she hadn't been crying, she slept. It went in cycles for the first month. Jackie found out she was pregnant, and Rose could barely manage a hug and a smile, but she thought she covered up her despondency well. She was dimly aware that she should be happy for Pete, her mother, and herself really, but life was a fog. Rose was drifting along, unable to see let alone find a way out.
Mickey, of course, saw right through her. His time on his own had broadened his perspective and empathetic abilities. Within the first week that she was trapped in the parallel world, Pete was offering her a job. She didn't really want it. She didn't want anything. Her mum had to force her to sit down at the dining room table three times a day and eat. Rose wasn't starving herself on purpose, she just didn't want sustenance. She didn't care anymore. She refused to take the TARDIS key from around her neck. One night at dinner, Rose got up from the table to go to bed and Jackie insisted that she take the necklace off. "You could choke in your sleep," was Jackie's reasoning. Good, Rose thought, it can choke me and then I'll be dead. That thought stopped her in her tracks. What would the Doctor say if he knew what she was thinking? Just the thought of him made her throat close up; a small sob escaped Rose's lips and she hurried upstairs to the room Pete had given her.
Once there, Rose made her decision. She would be just like the doctor. She would put her skills to use, like he would have wanted, and hide herself inside, just like he always did. She'd started at Torchwood the next day.
Especially after Bad Wolf Bay, Rose's depression had become worse. She hardly spoke to anyone. But rather than cry, she became almost robotic. Her family would have accused her of being a Cyberman if this had been a laughing matter. Rose was diligent and dutiful to her work, but there was no heart in it. There was no heart in anything she did, because she no longer had one.