One day, the teams were gathered up for missions. The ones left were the groups in Team 7's age group. They didn't have a mission, but Tsunade didn't want them to feel left out. So she assigned them a "mission" to go see Kakashi before he left to find out their mission.
They met Kakashi and he led them to the academy. He led them to the biggest room. Everyone entered the room and he said bye, and left. Locking the door behind him. Everyone was mad at Lizzy, the Authoress, for making sure only certain people could leave and only certain people could come in. But they were at least glad they weren't stuck with the annoying Lee, or the stuck up Neji.
So everyone screamed together--
"CURSE YOU, LIZZY-SAN!!!!!!!!" and Lizzy sighed.
"Great!! Were stuck in here!" Sasuke yelled, disgusted with the Authoress.
"Yeah... God, I wish we could change that somehow!!" Sakura replied.
"I'm hungry!" Naruto and Choji whined.
"No one cares!" Ino replied. ChojiAnime tears. NarutoAnime river tears and Ramen bowls circling his head.
"Ramen!!" Naruto protested.
"Everyone calm down!" Shikamaru said calmly. "Take a seat at a desk." so everyone sat at a desk. Well, except for Sasuke. He was pounding the door and cussing the Authoress out. (A/N: -cries- jk.) He used his chidori, but it didn't help at all. Actually, the door was even more locked then!
"THAT DOESN'T EVEN WORK!!" Sasuke suddenly screamed at the narrating authoress. And yes it does. In my world. "WELL THIS ISN'T YOUR--" suddenly, Sasuke fell to the floor and fainted, because Lizzy said so.
"Right..." Shikamaru said. "Anyway, We, obviously, need to find a way out of here."
"OBVIOUSLY!!" someone yelled.
"Yeah... Thats what I said. Anyway... I don't really care, but everyone must stay calm or... I'll have to kill someone. And that would be OH. SO. TROUBLESOME." Shikamaru said, and sighed some more.
Just then, Naruto remembered something! And he REALLY wanted Ramen!!
"I want Ramen, and 'The Giver', Akatsuki-- please deliver!!!!" Naruto screamed out of no where to the meow mix tune, making everyone sitting around him jump and making Sasuke wake up.
The door burst open and the Akatsuki randomly walked in line into the room. Each next to their partner with the leader... eh... leading.
"Disperse!" the leader said, and they all broke the line and went crazy in the room. The door locked again.
"Crap." Sasuke said, as he had been trying to leave the room.
One of the members of the Akatsuki was running around the room, flailing his arms around, giggling maniacally. Another was glaring at everyone from the shadow of his hat. (They were all still wearing the hats)
Another one was slowly crossing the room on the floor. (Sasori) muttering: "Yeah! I'm running at the speed of light!" when, actually, he was looking and moving like a snail. Someone else was asking his god if he should kill the closest person to him, which happened to be Shikamaru. (How troublesome.)
One of the others was going around asking people if they had 50000 yen, and what they would trade for it. He threatened them all until everyone was poor, and he had all their money. He approached someone else... Someone with a sword. Someone was just standing in a corner, watching.
One was examining a sword. He approached one of the girls (Hinata, for some reason.) and said "Hey... Samehada, here, doesn't cut... it shaves..." He was attempting to flirt, but was failing. "Wanna use it later?" -sigh- stupid, stupid, idiot. Anyway:
The leader looked around at his stupid followers and sighed. (Yes, with the little cloud/mushroom thingy.) He cleared this throat. They immediately stopped what they were doing, stood to attention, and removed their hats. Sasuke immediately yelled:
"AHH THE APOCALYPSE IS COMMING!!" when he realized that the one that was running around flailing his arms, wasn't Deidara, but Itachi. The one glaring was Zetsu. Obviously, Sasori was Sasori... But he took off the puppets also, and appeared in his real form. ( -faints- jk) Hiden stopped cussing Ino out for making fun of his religion, and also removed his hat. Then he continued under his breath. The one with Samehada, was Deidara, while Kisame was counting money, and then handing it to Deidara, who handed him his sword back, who went right to Kakuzu (who was standing in a corner waiting) who took the money and gave Deidara back his clay. (Deidara celebrated.)
"Someone called?" The leader asked. Itachi jumped onto a random stage and revealed a table full of Ramen (cooked and in a bowl, of course.) and a book and Naruto yelled "Yay!!!!" and jumped on stage also.
"Wa----it!!" Itachi yelled at him, stopping him. "Were not done yet!!" then he took off his cloak to reveal-------- a ballet suit... thingy. (Gasp! I thought it was going to be something totally hot! Lolz, jk.) Everyone "anime fainted" with giant sweat drops.
"Yay!!" Itachi screamed, flailing his arms around again. The whole Akatsuki (excluding Itachi and Deidara(who was running around with Itachi.)) Sweat dropped.
"Ok! Now, before you take it, KARAOKE TIME!!" Itachi screamed. Deidara squealed in delight, making people confused about his true gender.
"Summoning Jutsu!" Itachi yelled, biting his finger and slamming it on a table that just appeared. A Karaoke machine appeared out of no where.
"What the fuck?" Sasuke screamed.
"Foolish little brother... Why are you so weak?" Itachi asked suddenly. "It's because you lack... Self Confidence!!! Oh, and Hatred. Can't forgot that... Oh and there's also the fact that you're missing common sense, by looking for revenge instead of reviving the clan... Oh! And also--"
"Itachi-san!" Deidara said. "Karaoke!!!"
"Oh yeah!!!" So he turned the machine on. He clicked the random button.
"What song!? What song!?" Deidara asked excited.
"Ooh!!! Yay!!" Then Itachi cleared his voice, and prepared to sing. Deidara did the same. They each grabbed a mic. The machine was facing them, so they could see. No one else could see what the song was.
"I'm a little tea-pot! Short and Spout! Here is my handle, here is my spout!" they started singing. Everyone immediately tried their hardest to get out of the room, besides the following: Naruto, who was waiting for Ramen and the book, Hinata, who wouldn't leave without Naruto, Shikamaru, who thought it was too troublesome, obviously Itachi and Deidara, and the leader, who didn't really care, since this had happened so often. Just not with this song.
They finished singing, but no one realized it yet. Someone crashed a hole in the wall, and the following people left: Kakuzu, Shino, Zetsu, Choji, and, well, Sasuke attempted to leave, but the hole disappeared.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL??" he screamed. Itachi sighed, shook his head, and played the next song.
"Ok! Deidara, I'll sing this one, and you'll sing the next! Ok?" he said, Deidara nodded.
"Ooh!!" Itachi squealed. "Yay! But I'm going to change the words!"
So he started. (Credit to my brother for this part, because he thinks Itachi is so self centered and stuff.)
"I'm too sexy for my clan, too sexy for my clan, so sexy I killed them!
"I'm too sexy to kill my brother, to sexy to kill my brother, so sexy I destroyed him(mentally)! (Woot!)
"I'm too sexy for my cloak, too sexy for my cloak, so sexy I don't need it..."
It continued on like that for a while until--
"I'm too sexy for this song!" he finished, dropping the mic, dramatically, and leaving the stage. (The credit ends here. The rest is mine.) He still had the tutu on. Sasuke was twitching with rage. Itachi pointed and laughed at him, then put his cloak back on.
"I thought you said you were too sexy for it?" Sasuke said, sarcastically.
"I can make sacrifices." he replied, readjusting his cloak. Now it was Deidara's turn.
"Damn!" He yelled. "I can't find my song!!"
"Just play the only one Lizzy can think of for you, right now!!"
"But that would be stealing!!"
"How so?"
"She remembers it from a comic she read!!"
"I GIVE CREDIT TO WHOEVER DREW THAT DAMN COMIC!! (That happens to be very funny, to me.)" the authoress suddenly screamed, settling the matter.
"Ok!" So Deidara started singing a Hanuka song. You know, the dradle song, or whatever. "Dradle, Dradle, Dradle! I made you out of clay! Dradle, dradle, dradle!
With my Dradle I will play!!" he sang, while everyone ignored him.
"HELP!!" Someone suddenly screamed, in a horrified voice, out of no where, but from outside the room. Everyone but Deidara stopped what they were doing.
"NO!!" Someone screamed back in less then a second. That settled that. Everyone continued what they were doing.
Just then!!: Saru appeared out of nowhere! (No one realized that Deidara had finished his song.)
"I'm back!" Saru yelled, then grabbed the mic.
"NOOOOO!!!!" Itachi screamed suddenly. Sasuke looked up, surprised. Who was this stranger who caused his brother to scream, and try his best to get away?? Why it was Saru, of course!!! But, wtf! Sasuke doesn't know Saru!! I mean, you don't even know him, if you haven't read my other fic. "Random Foolishness Of Itachi Uchiha."
If you have read it, good for you, but if you haven't than i have to recap on what happened. So, for the people who have read it, you can skip the recap because its "copied and pasted" from the other story. It's exactly the same.
----RECAP---
Randomly, a ninja appeared out of nowhere right in front of Itachi.
"Who the hell is this weakling?" he asked Kisame. Kisame shrugged.
"I'm right here, you know. And I'm stronger than you!!" The annoying ninja yelled.
"We're right here, you know, you don't have to yell." Kisame mocked.
"Don't blame me! I'm only yelling because Lizzy-chan is making me yell!"
"Who the hell is... "Lizzy"??" Kisame asked.
"The authoress, of course!!" he replied.
"CURSE YOU, LIZZY-SAN!!" Kisame yelled for no apparent reason.
"-sniffle- you don't have to yell..." i reply. On with the... eh.. "plot", if you can call it that.
"You, weakling, are not stronger than me." Itachi said, his eyes narrowing into an emotionless glare. (Does that even work???)
"Ha! I'd like to see you prove that!" so they fought, and the Ninja won.
"Damn you!!" Itachi yelled.
"I'm smarter than you, also." He replied, smugly.
"Liar."
"Oh yeah? Whats your earliest memory??:
"Hmmmm..."
---FLASHBACK!!---
Itachi woke up to find himself in a crib. He knew what it was, somehow, even though he had only been alive for about a month. He decided that he wanted out. So he stood up, opened the crib, and left.
He walked outside. Imagine that. A little one month old baby, walking like anyone else (not normal for any baby, because they wobble.) in the backyard of the Uchiha's place. You see, he could walk because he was incredibly intelligent. Just then, a squirrel came out of nowhere and attacked the young Uchiha. Instinctively, he whipped out a kunai and killed the creature.
Don't ask me where a baby got a kunai, and don't ask me why he already, at one month, knows instinctively to kill anything that lunges at him that suddenly.
You know, people wondered why one of Itachi's baby sitters was found dead on the floor in his room the next month next to an empty bottle of wine, with Itachi being the only one in the room. No one would have thought a baby would do that. The baby sitter had tried to stop Itachi from drinking the wine... Itachi didn't want to. No one, and I mean no one, would suspect a cute, sweet little Uchiha baby. Oh well. Sweet, sweet innocence.
---FLASHBACK OVER---
"Really?" the ninja asked, amused. "You only remember that far back?"
"Oh, and you can remember further for yourself?"
"Actually, yes i can."
---NEW FLASHBACK!!---
"Look! I think he's waking up!!" a woman's voice said, as the 27 minute old boy opened his small eyes. It was his mother he was looking at, he realized.
"His eyes... They're blue?" the boy's father, most likely, replied.
"The doctor said that they sometimes stay like that for the first few days, or even a bit longer. But they might change. Which is likely, since we both have emerald eyes..." the mother said.
"What are we going to name him?"
"Hmm... The moment of choosing..."
"How about 'Kip'?"
"What does that mean?"
"Well... birds are just so cool, aren't they? So it means chicken!"
'Chicken?' the boy thought, disturbed with his parent's stupidity. 'I'll be teased all my life!!'
"No... He'll be teased." his mother voiced just what he was thinking. He gave a tiny sigh in relief. "Plus, I like ducks much better! We should name him after Donald Duck!! Hmm... Maybe... Ducky!!!! Yeah! I love ducks!!" She squealed, happily.
The kid was revolted. His parents were absolute retards. Morons. They were asking the be killed. But the least he could do, was inform him that he hated both names they chose.
He started to mumble. He had a song in his head, perhaps he heard it from inside his mother's stomach. It was the perfect song for this moment. The woman and man both leaned in, as the mother said,
"Shh! I think he's trying to talk!!"
He hesitated, but started to sing as quietly as he could, but making sure he was loud enough so that at least they could hear him.
"I don't wanna be a chicken, I don't wanna be a duck, So kiss my butt, quack quack quack quack.." and he repeated a few times, to get it through their thick skulls.
"Ok, that's enough... We understand." the father said, slightly sickened by the fact that his son was so smart, that he could talk at 33 minutes old. Just then, a comedian came on the tv in the room. He was carrying a monkey with him. The father smirked. So did the mother.
"For your smart mouth, I think you deserve punishment." the mother said, softly.
He looked at her, quizzically.
"From now on," his father continued, "you're name will be 'Saru', or 'Monkey', you little twerp."
So that started the torture. Then, at the age of 4, he murdered his family, excluding his little sis, who was 3, and who he was very close to. She shared the hatred for their parents.
---FLASHBACK OVER--
"Grrr..."
"See? I'm much smarter. You couldn't even talk by one month!! I could talk within my first hour. How foolish of you."
"Don't steal my lines. I own the word 'foolish', so you can't use it!" Itachi said defensively.
"Foolish, foolish, foolish, foolish, foolish, foolish," ect. Saru started saying it repeatedly. Itachi yelled, but he didn't stop. So he ran. Saru chased him. A random mulberry bush appeared out of no where, and Itachi started running around it. Saru chased him. Kisame turned on a tape.
"All around the mulberry bush, the Monkey chased the weasel!" it played, over and over.
---RECAP OVER---
"DAMN YOU, SARU!!!" Itachi screamed, when he realized he couldn't leave. Saru smirked and turned on his favorite "Itachi torturing" song. He sang into the mic.
"All around the mulberry bush, Saru chased Itachi, Itachi ran until he was dead. POP! Goes Itachi!!" then he laughed maniacally.
"THAT DOENS'T EVEN RHYME!!" Itachi screamed.
"It doesn't have to. I'm just that awesome." he replied, placing the mic down on the table. "You foolish, foolish Idiot."
"Don't steal my word... ass..." Itachi said, anger raging through his voice. He attacked Saru and failed. (Noo!!! I hate Saru!! . )
Saru punched Itachi. Itachi ran. Because a random mulberry bush appeared out of no where again. He ran around it, and Saru chased him.
"What complete Bakas..." Sasuke muttered. Sakura and Ino nodded, sweat dropping.
"Shut! Up! Foolish! Little! Brother!" Itachi yelled, running around and around.
"NO!!" Sasuke yelled. Then he got a face full of fist. Itachi punched him, and continued to run. "Owwie!" Chibi Sasuke squeaked, with Anime tears. Ino and Sakura comforted him.
Naruto was busy eating some Ramen and reading his book.
"Um... N-naruto-kun? W-why 'The Giver'?" Hinata asked.
"Iz uh gregh buhk!! (It's a great book!)" Naruto said, eating Ramen.
"Oh..." Hinata said, pretending to understand.
"Wha suh rahmahn? (Want some ramen?)" Naruto asked, handing her a bowl.
"A-arigoto, Naruto-kun." Hinata said, sitting next to him and eating also. (But much more neatly and slowly.)
"So... Shikamaru-chan... What do you think of this whole situation?" Ino asked.
"..." Shikamaru replied.
"Shikamaru?" Sakura nudged his sholder.
"Eh, Shikama----ru?" Sasuke said, shaking him.
"SHIKAMARU, WHY ARENT YOU TALKING???" Ino screamed.
'Gah... its too troublesome to talk...' Shikamaru thought, giving them weird looks.
"YOU DOBE!! WE CAN'T HEAR YOU THINK!!" Ino, Sakura, Sasuke, and, for some reason, Hinata, screamed at him.
'Why not? Hmm... it's also too troublesome to think...' Shikamaru's face blankened.
So Shikamaru turned into a vegetable. Tsk tsk, thats what you get, Shikamaru... -shakes head in disapproval-
Everyone slowly inched away from Shikamaru.
"Now what are we going to do?" Sasuke asked. "Were stuck in here!"
"Dobe, we know that!" Naruto said. But it came out "Falarg maharg nirmina!!" because 1.) he's still eating and 2.) he seemed to forget how to talk...
"What the hell, Naruto? I mean, I understand food talk, but if that was food talk you just said "Flaging Malarg Nirvana." and that doesn't make sense!!!" Sakura said. Naruto finished his bowl of ramen and spoke again.
"I dlae: galarg maharg nirmina!!" he replied. Everyone stared at him.
"Naruto? Whats wrong with you?"
"sklhjtoa!!!!"
"Naruto! Make sense, will ya!!"
"KSIKAMALAGOOOO!!!" he screamed. Then Sakura punched him in the head, knocking him out.
"The Baka forgot how to talk..." He told everyone else. Everyone sweat dropped. Hinata fainted.
Lizzy: OMFG!! I am soooo sorry for that, but i was so hyper so I wrote whatever came into my head at the time. This is a series. The next one will be out if people leave reviews. :P Oh... I forgot this, also
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto-sensei does.
Please leave reviews!!! I love reviews!!!
I love writing for people who love reading what I write!!!
And I think flamers are funny. Lolz. So, to the people who hated my story: I'm happy you at least took your time to read it!! Yayz!!!
-Lizzy