Disclaimer: I don't own Rave. Hiro Mashima does. This ficcu inspired by Inexorable. Beta-ed by schyra again 3
Warning: Major abuse of eye contact, jaw falling and mentions of asses. Oh, and people being hit by lightning.
Note: Well… I was piqued, one day, to write a Rave version of Inexorable's Snippets of Life, which is a DN Angel one. 3 And since I really couldn't resist it anymore… I have to write them down. And I shall start with our courtroom scenario. Shuda wearing a tutu is still unjustified… I just… can't resist the image of him wearing a tutu… XD Also, do not say anything hurtful about the way I write stuffs happening in the courtroom… because I literally don't know how things go in the courtroom. xP Besides, this ficcu is intended to be fluffy (and in the meantime, a teensy bit perverted xD)

.Snippet 1: Not Uke… Right?

It all started with one survey, about which position you should be in bed that led to an argument, and soon, a case in court.

Everyone was seated in their rightful places, and Shuda couldn't help but keep up his insistent tugging of his collar. He's suffocating, and the glare coming from Sieg on the opposite table isn't helping him. And that doesn't include Haru being fussy.

Finally, the clock struck 1 in the afternoon, and everyone sat upright in their seats as the two lawyers arranged themselves.

Doors opened on one side, everyone standing up to greet the little judge who entered, not entirely surprised with his size. Well, not really. Some are still confused as to why their judge is a little kid with a white wig covering his mop of blue hair and an oversized coat. There were even some blue bangs poking out of the wig.

Coughing, the boy scrambled into his high chair and pulled out a little wooden mallet from his cloak. The essential item needed by a judge.

Along with the mallet came a wooden base with a shallow round hole in the middle, revealing its true nature: a nutcracker.

Smiling, Niebel grabbed a nut and was about to crack it with the mallet when he felt a cold glare in his direction. Shivers ran down his spine from the chill. He turned his head and met cold, piercing, purple eyes and regrets his actions. He quickly avoided them and turned his attention back to the crowd. He sighed and glanced at each and every face with a bored look. He coughed again and motioned for the pink sentinoid beside him to start the roll call.

The pink penguin of a hybrid stood up and pulled an old-fashioned scroll from his red Santa hat. Then, in a squeaky voice, Ruby read the words written in the scroll.

"Ye are all here, witnessing the upholding of justice upon our victim, Shuda, poyo, with his lawyer, Haru Glory, poyo, from our suspect, Sieg Hart, poyo, with his defendant, Lucia Leagrove, poyo, on the stroke of 1 in the high noon here at the High Symphonian Court, poyo, on the 7th day of the 7th month of the 0067th year, poyo, with our honorable judge to bring justice, Niebel, poyo, about whether or not Shuda-san is truly an uke, poyo."

With that said, the penguin resumed his seat beside the boy as Niebel lifted the mallet and struck it down upon its base. "Great. First, a fight between a woman with centers and a guy with man-boobs about a carrot-horned white bald dog, and now two lovers suing each other, one wearing a tutu while the other pink. Gods, why do I always get the queerest cases?"

Everyone stared at the boy until he finally stopped his ranting. Coughing slightly, Sieg glared at the boy. "Can we start now? I have very limited time, just so you know."

Grumbling and huffing, the boy straightened his collar and motioned for Haru to start. "Case, begin." And he brought down the mallet.

"Your honor," the crunch of a nut can be heard, "I'm here asking you to grant justice upon this poor soul here," some knuckle-cracking, "who currently sues his very own lover for saying things that are complete lies!" Thunder is heard outside the courtroom even though it's a very sunny Tuesday.

Shuda twitched and glared at his silver-haired lawyer, not believing he had been degraded into a 'poor soul'. And oh, at the crowd too since they all gasped, as if they didn't know what the case was about.

Hearing this, the blond lawyer scoffed and stood up in objection.

"Your honor, I tell you this and for everyone's information, Shuda truly is an uke in the first place—"

"I object! He lies!"

This time, it's Shuda who has slammed the table with his fist. A long silence occurs. Even Sieg was forced to stop checking his nails and stared at the redhead.

Clicking his tongue, purple eyes gazed at the red head in a mocking manner.

"And do you have any proof?"

"Yes, I have proof!"

Again, the crowd gasped like their over-reacting selves as the judge continued his picking of acorn pieces, forgetting the case at hand. The penguin sentinoid flushed and nudged the judge in the side, nodding over at the crowd and the fuming victim.

"Er… right... so… what's the proof then?"

Haru just shook his head. This is what you get with 13 year old judges. Anyway, he grabbed the tape handed to him by Shuda and inserted it into the player in the corner of the courtroom. As soon as he turns it on, a huge LCD screen scrolled down from the ceiling, earning another wave of gasps from the crowd. Soon, the video starts playing and Sieg gaped at the images being shown on the sinful tape.

"I demand you to cease that, you perverted bastard!"

Everyone ignored a yelling Sieg and continued staring at the movie being shown. Some were even whistling whenever the image of an ass appeared.

"What's wrong? Can't handle the truth?"

"You bastard! This is a private matter! It's different!"

"Well, it's your fault! You were the one who started it in the first place!"

"But you—"

"STOP, POYO! STOP THE TAPE, POYO! WE HAVE UNDERAGED PEOPLE HERE, POYO!"

"ACK! RUBY! I WANNA SEE!"

"You can't, poyo! You're only thirteen, poyo!"

"But I'm the judge! The honor! I have my own rights! Ruby!"

Everyone lost their focus on the film when they saw Ruby struggling to cover the eyes of the young boy, as Niebel tried his best to get a glimpse. Sending death glares at everyone present in the room, Sieg barked at one of the guards to turn the tape off at once.

Musica was never really the kind of guy to follow anyone's orders, especially that of the suspect, but since he's the guard on duty for today's case, he finds it quite reasonable to turn it off, since the judge himself is also a kid. Still, the ass shots were very lovely to drool over…

Much to everyone's dismay, (well, except Sieg's) Musica turned the power off and the screen returned to the ceiling. Meanwhile, someone got zapped by a lightning bolt when he commented something about 'a fuckable ass'.

Sieg flushed, puffing out his cheeks as he glared at a smirking Shuda.

"That is my proof, your honor." The redhead said, returning to his seat while Niebel stopped his coat from slipping off his shoulder.

"Right, even though I didn't manage to see anything due to the presence of our scribe here," a glare for a pouting Ruby, "…still, the sounds were enough proof."

"Niebel, you son of a—"

"Any objections?"

He's aghast. And furious. Never, in his entire life has anyone backstabbed him like that. First, he got sued by his very own lover, then his privacy got turned into a scandal, and now his best friend is mocking him in front of everyone in the courtroom.

'The world is against me! Gawds!'

Gritting his teeth, Sieg sent another death glare at Shuda and silently vows revenge. If the other thinks he'll win this case, he better prepare himself first.

Not caring about his lawyer, he stood up and directed another harsh glare at the young judge and spoke in a deadly tone.

"I do object, your honor. That tape is clearly a hoax!"

"For your information, that was taped last Christmas!" Shuda chided and earned a gaping Sieg. Really, it was priceless.

"Yeah! I saw a Santa hat on the floor too!"

The crowd gasped again while some shrieked when the man who spoke got zapped again by a lightning bolt.

Cracking a new nut, Niebel realizes that this case will get nowhere if neither of the two will let the other win. He has to do something.

"If someone has a better piece of evidence aside from gay porn flicks, I suggest you to kindly share it with us now. I have an acorn delivery package waiting for me!"

Finally, after watching the entire 'upholding of justice' thing, Lucia stood up, strode slowly in front of the table and faced the judge.

"Your honor, I ask you this simple question. Which of the two will you consider the queerest? He who ballet dances and wears a freaking tutu, or a man who simply wears blinding pink."

"It's fuchsia pink, for your information!"

Niebel ignored Sieg's correction and stared hard at the bowl of acorns just on the corner of his table. Tutu or Pink?

"Well… obviously, it's the guy who wears a tutu! I mean, a lot of straight guys wear pink."

"True, poyo! I am pink, poyo!"

"Then that is your answer, your honor! It is simply enough to say that we can now end this case now that you've heard the unmistakable truth."

"I object!"

Everyone turned their heads towards Haru, who was beside Lucia in a flash. (Must be Ju Roku Ban…) Private joke between Umi & schyra, desu..

"Just because a man wears a tutu doesn't mean you're an uke! I mean, my dad doesn't wear tutus but he's an uke! See!"

"I… don't get your point." Niebel blinked, and reached for another acorn to crack.

"He simply objects Lucia-san's statement, poyo." Ruby whispered, and Niebel mouthed an 'Oh'.

Scowling at the silver-haired boy, Lucia glared at him. "That's because it's in your blood to be an uke, baka."

omfg! Is my Haru-chan just going to sit there and -take this-!

Flushing, Haru glared back at the blond and quietly but quickly went back to his seat. Lucia grinned at this and turned towards the judge.

…apparently, yes.

"Well then. Is the case closed?"

"I suppose…. I mean, there seems to be no objections…"

"WAIT! I have something to say too!"

Sieg stopped his filing of nails and glared at the redhead again. Great. Why is he so persistent?

Nut-cracking again, Niebel glanced at Shuda, anticipating. Is it something big? Vulgar? Even if he's Sieg's best friend, he barely got detailed information from the guardian about his sex life. Especially information that included Shuda.

"What is it then?"

"He attends fancy gay tea parties!"

Everyone gasped again. Even Lucia turned his head and gaped at Sieg. But said man just rolled his eyes and pocketed his nail file. Eyeing Niebel with cold eyes, Sieg replied in a monotone voice. "I merely attend these tea parties because they raise my social ranking."

Now, it was Shuda's turn to gape. And gape. And gape. And gape some more until he looked stoned. Petrified stoned.

Poor guy.

Realizing that it's already past 3, Niebel brought down the mallet because… well, admit it. You can't let the delivery man wait on your doorstep, especially when the packaged acorns are freshly picked by top-notch chipmunks.

"I hereby dismiss this case with my given authority and conclude that Shuda is wronged for accusing Sieg Hart just because the latter wears pink. Shuda, you are charged to pay Sieg Hart 10,000 Edels for suing him. Case closed."

Bringing down the mallet for the last time, Niebel jumped off the high chair with the bowl of acorns in hand and walked out of the courtroom.

Haru sighed and looked at a still stoned Shuda with a forlorn look. Another case down the drain. He's so going to quit this job.

"Oh don't worry, Glory. At least you let me win."

Lucia approached him and snaked his hands around the other's waist, ignoring the other's soft groan. "Come on, let's get some drinks and go home to get the kinks on."

Haru sighed again as he was pulled towards the exit by a rather giddy blond. At least he gets good sex after every failed case.

He stared at the two exiting lovers with a bored gaze, then at Shuda. The red head was still stoned.

'I guess lying really is a bad thing to do…'

Mumbling guiltily, Sieg walked towards the red head and gave him a soft peck in the cheek.

"Come on. I'll treat you for a snack and forget about all this. I'll even wear that French maid outfit you ordered last week."

Revived by the other's promise, Shuda quickly forgot about today's event and stared at the guardian.

Not able to resist the other's pitiful gaze, a small smile finds its way on Sieg's lips as he grabbed the other's hand and pulled him towards the exit.

"Oh Shuda, you're the most idiotic man alive! Heavens, come on! I want to try that cheesecake in De la Café de Francé!"

And the two remaining people left the empty courtroom, thus ending today's case.

---

"Neh, Ruby…"

"Doushta no, poyo?"

"…Do you think I really should be a judge?"

"Poyo?"

"I mean… I don't think I'm really quite capable of 'giving justice'."

"Well, you did great, poyo, and we have no complaints from anyone, poyo, so I guess it's okay, poyo."

"I suppose…"

Niebel licked the last drop of lemon on his spoon and set it down. Motioning for Ruby to call the cheque, he turned his head and gazed at the clouds, realizing that he is, indeed, lonely.

END OF SNIPPET 1

Preview of Snippet 2: Haru wants a cat. Lucia doesn't care a damn. Haru does what he wants most. Lucia get the shock of his life... and maybe the worst rival ever.