Change
The world is coming to an end
Author's Note: I know. Hate me, Edward lovers – I hate me too. However an idea can't be ignored! It calls to me and I must respond and comply… After I finish this, I'll go and beat myself up….
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"Alice!" I called out in surprise. I hadn't seen Alice in such a very long time and launched myself at her happily to hug her – forgetting she was as hard as stone of course. It was like running headlong into a brick wall.
"Bella..." Alice's voice was pained and I looked up and saw her pitch black eyes. Se was thirsty – desperately so.
"Oops, sorry."
I stepped back quickly, but Alice's expression did not change from its set pained features.
"Alice?"
"Bella… It's Edward."
My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat even as it plummeted in dread. "Yes?"
"He's dead, Bella, he's dead…"
I froze and stared somewhat unseeingly at Alice for a while, numb and unfeeling, even as pain seared in my chest.
"Dead…? How?" A memory shifted at the back of my mind. "The…Volturi?"
Alice shook her head angrily, in grief, though she glanced at me in some surprise when I mentioned the Volturi.
"Victoria intended to come and kill you, a mate for a mate, but Edward convinced her to fight him instead and to leave you alone." She let out a hiss between her teeth and drew a deep breath again. "Edward is fast, but even he can't fight multiple opponents at once. They ganged up on him and we weren't there in time to help. He had no chance."
I stared at her again. The thought was almost… well, unbelievable. Edward had been such a strong vampire. It was hard to believe he could actually be dead.
But if it was … The pain that struck me was almost unbearable. To never see him again… I had gone through that once already – I didn't think I could do it again. I could feel the edges of the hole crumble even more.
"Bella?" Alice asked anxiously.
"I'm okay, Alice." It was surprising how calm my voice seemed to be even as the pain reared inside me and the hole seared and throbbed.
Alice arched an elegant brow at me anxiously though, and helped me over to the couch. She stared at me for a while before looking away and saying softly.
"You do know he loved you, don't you?"
"I don't know." I whispered. After all Edward had said, what could I believe now? He had said didn't want me and this just supported that I had always thought myself inadequate for him. He had said I wasn't good for him either. There was no way he could love me.
"Bella!" Alice hissed, angrily – though I had no idea where the anger was directed. "Why do you question the dead? He loved you, alright?" Her tone softened. "He lied so then you could get on with your life and you could be safe. Safe from what danger our presence puts you in!"
I shook my head stubbornly, tears beginning to slip down my cheeks now. No…No.
"Why can you believe the lie but not the truth?" Alice asked sadly, as she watched. "I can't do for you what Edward might have. I'm so sorry, Bella."
I'm so sorry it had to be this way – that it turned out this way – that there is nothing I can do for you now.
I swiped the tears away, but they continued flowing relentlessly.
"Listen, Bella." Alice's eyes were pleading as she tried to make me understand. "Edward wanted to keep you safe. He would rather rip himself up that have you hurt. Edward moped around for ages after he left you. He didn't stay with us; he left us because Jasper was going crazy off the emotions rolling off him!"
I frowned at Alice even as I swiped the last of the tears away. I was listening.
"Jasper told me afterwards. Love, grief, misery, regret. It was such a complex combination and the emotions were so very intense.
"We owe Edward. Every move we've made in the past is usually one of us. When one of us attacked someone accidentally, we would have to move. We couldn't refuse this to him." Then she shook her head again. "And Edward was always the odd one out. He's been alone for so long. We wanted him to be happy and if this was what he wanted, who are we to refuse him of it? He cared more about your happiness than his own."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "I can't be happy, though. I can't be happy without Edward." My thoughts drifted towards Jacob, but I knew in my heart that I would never be whole again without Edward.
"I told him once; I didn't care about my soul. He could have it, because it was his already – just like my heart is his."
You can have my soul. I don't want it without you – it's yours already!
"I don't want a world without him." I sighed, pain tearing at the ragged hole again.
"No." Alice was firm. "He would want you to live. Live on. For him."
I smiled a little.
Goodbye, Bella. Take care of yourself.
I will, Edward.
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I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well, I guess we're gonna find out,
Let's see how far we've come,
Let's see how far we've come.
Well I, believe, it all, is coming to an end,
Oh well, I guess, we're gonna pretend,
Let's see how far we've come,
Let's see how far we've come.
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Author's Note: This is from the heart, actually. I'm just writing as it pours out, just like one reading from a scene, never mind that I did editing. However, I tried to pour out as much emotion in the words as possible.
Why the lyrics? I have no idea… I think it's the idea of things ending – mainly… (The song is 'How far we've come' by Matchbox 20. Okay, fine, it was on the radio when I was typing this.)
Thanks for reading… I'll go and kick myself now for killing Edward… Waah.
Review? Even if it is to… abuse me for killing Edward off.