Disclaimer (READ THIS, I'M WARNIN' YOU!) : This is a disclaimer and also a warning to those weak of heart. You know what I mean by that. As always, I do not own Naruto or the characters and stuff. I also don't own the clothes and various item brands that pop up in here. I take credit for this extravagant story view and all. Now, here comes the warning. As with all my works, this is a very raw and powerful story full of things you may, or may not approve of. So, it's all up to you, buddy! Anyway, i'm itchin' to start this junk up! Oh, and so you know... this is not the normal Naruto. Oh, and the events WILL differ, in order and nature. I dunno, just wait and see.
Naruto: Ala Gangsta
The sun rose slowly over the horizon, the tall buildings of Konoha castings criss-cross shadows. In a tall apartment building, there was a high voice echoing through the big open apartment. Upon closer inspection, it could be seen that it was a blonde-haired boy, eyes pretty much looking closed, and he was doing push-ups, beading sweat sliding down his forehead, as he called out his repetitions...
"Two ninety...eight... two... ninety... nine... THREE HUNDRED!" this boy yelled out.
He stood, wiping the sweat from his forehead and shaking off the hot, sweaty feeling as he went off for a shower. While he's in the shower, let us talk a bit, people... this is Naruto. Naruto Uzumaki to be more exact. Yea, it's his morning exercises. Push-ups. Yea, we already missed the sit-ups and the pull-ups. Anyway, after he got out of the shower, for I have no more details to feed you, he looked through his closet, and goofy grin on his face, as he combed through. He grabbed a hold of an outfit and put it on, giving his youthful chuckle. Next thing you know, he was wearing a orange button-up Dickies his short sleeve shirt open, and his white T underneath. Though it had the leaf village symbol painted, sloppily in red on it, right on the stomach. He knew today, something cool was going to happen to him! If you looked carefully at his outfit, you could see navy blue streaks in it. Anyway, he put on his Du-Rag, since he didn't have his bandana yet. That's a different story. So anyway, he ran through his house, gathering up all kinds of things, like his house keys, a cup of ramen he had prepared to eat on the go, and his Desert Eagle .50, stuffing that into his belt.
"Today is the day... today's the day i'm a gangsta!" He cheered as he went out the door of the apartment complex.
As he took in a breath of city air, he looked to his left, and who did he see, strolling down the street?
"Damn Sasuke..." Naruto grumbled under his breath, playing with his Du-Rag...
Now, Sasuke is different too... man, first of all, he's iced out. I mean, huge Uchiha clan fan symbol bling, platinum, rings on every finger, diamonds as big as quarters, black and red Fubu coat, and black Phat Farm jeans, with his Air Force Ones. Black and red, yo. 'Course he had a shirt with his picture on it, that said under it 'Yea, you know i'm better than you.'
"What the hell are you doing on my block, Sasuke? Peddle your smack somewhere else." He didn't like drugs much, either...
Sasuke slipped his hands in his pockets, awful close to his Uzi in the pants... "Ah shut up. Whatchu gonna do about it?"
Naruto started to think, about how he'd get the biggest drug dealer on the block out of his vicinity... hmmm...
"Sasuke, you 'lil bastard, I challenge you a freestyle battle!" Naruto yelled out, full of energy.
Sasuke looked at him, gritting his teeth, which showed off his grill with diamonds in it. "Hell no. I'll fight ya though. Guns or no guns, your choice."
"Man, either you bust some rhymes, or you ain't worth my time..." Naruto turned to go...
Deciding that nobody decides that they are better than him, Sasuke growled "Wait. Fine, i'ma school ya, bitch. Face me like a damn man, at least."
Naruto turned to face him, a smirk on his face, as he stepped up in front of Sasuke, a faint yell off 'Yo, Sasuke is about to whoop some ass!' being heard from the park, where they both had to head anyway... that's pretty much the equivalent of the academy.
Naruto spun around, and began on Sasuke with "I'm glad ya stepped to me, so ya can face ya doom, step back bitch, I need some room. With all ya bling, and ya brand name clothes, who you think you is? Heh, one-a my 'hoes... I see ya squintin' hard, don't get mad, that's what your mom said, when I was poundin' her..."
some random kid in the crowd yelled "Daaaaamn..." at the end.
Sasuke suddenly burst in, saying seriously "Yo before you get tah dissin', know that i'm da executioner, and there's nothin' you can do, when i'm after ya. You runnin'? Ya can't run, 'cause i'm da Juggernaut, bitch, and if you don't believe me, i'll leave ya laid out in a ditch."
The people oooohhhed, as Naruto took it from there "At least I ain't pretendin', 'cause deep down inside, I know in you, there's a little bitch to hide. You was thinkin' you was the coolest, but believe me, i'll kill ya, 'cause BITCH! I'm da cruelest. Try to spit, but see me, and I tie ya tongue in boyscout knots, whoop ya ass seven times over, with my iced ramen pot. That's right, diamonds, all over what I got, and guess what, mutha fucka, you fuck wit me, you damn sure getting' shot. So Sasuke Uchi-not, whatchu got to say? Nah, you should just turn and run to school today."
The crowd started making all kinds of noise, and Naruto was acting all gangsta and whatnot, until some guy yelled "Yo Sasuke, you schooled dat fool!"
Let's just say from that point on, shots started to be shot into the crowd. Oh yea, they pissed Naruto off... clearly, he was the winner! Could nobody see past Sasuke's constant gangsta!? Well, seeing as he just broke up a huge crowd of Sasuke admirers, he turned to yell more trash at Sasuke, to just see that he turned around, girls chasing him, and ran off. Naruto gave a sigh, and just headed on to 'the akademy' as they graffiti it everywhere. Once he got there, a man stood in front of all these wayward 'lil souls, his classmates. The man had a nappy ponytail, and a big scar on his face, wearing an urban camo shirt, and black long shorts, with some Lugz. He as also eatin' some chicken, but that ain't so important, y'know...
"Yo kids, 'sup? 'Aight, here be da deal... look like me. Use ya ghetto powers to look like me. Line up, bitches." and he lazily waved his hand, getting everyone to line up.
Now, as everyone poofed themselves into Iruka, this man eatin' chicken, and pullin' out a '40 now. That's 40 oz, for those who wonder what the hell i'm talkin' 'bout. Anyway it got 'round to Naruto's turn, and he pretty much poofed into a hot, blonde good lookin' babe. Heh, least to say, Iruka's long shorts started doing a 'stretching exercise'.
He yelled out at Naruto "Yo, man, what's yo problem!? I said ME!"
Oh, then he punched Naruto in the head, once he turned back to normal "What the hell was that!?"
Giving a cool chuckle while rubbing his head, Naruto casually said "Yo man, dat's my Sexy Jutsu."
Iruka just slapped a hand to his head, and then instructed everyone to line up again. So they could graduate and become Gangstas. Oh yea, and he grabbed another piece of chicken. Anyway, he told all of them to make clones of themselves now. I know sounds like some kinky science fiction shit, don't it? Anyway, yea, the kids was doin' it just fine, y'know. Oh yea, then it came to Naruto one more time... heh heh... oh he tried to make a clone of himself alright... that thing came out looking like it'd never heard of the sun, and it looked like it had down syndrome. Oh hell no, i'm not done. It also looked like it got raped by a rhino, and like it had a boxing match with Tyson. Yea.
"What the hell is dis shit!?" Iruka exclaimed...
"Yo don't hate... it's my clone... or I could do this..." and yes, he poofed into that ultra hot blonde, again, and yes, Iruka's shorts had a stretching exercise again, and man, he started to have a massive nosebleed too. Hah!
"Y-yo, i-i'm done... class dismissed, yo..." Iruka weakly sighed, as those who passed got their gangsta bandanas as they left.
He got up and went over to Naruto who pretty much already knew he didn't pass... yea, he was pounding the ground, yelling something at himself, I don't know... Iruka loved the kid, though... even though the both of them were quite unconventional...
Iruka helped him up, sighing "Naruto, yo... s'ok... c'mon, let's go get somethin' to eat..."
"Ramen?" That's the only word Naruto ad to really speak, 'cause Iruka already knew...
"Yea, yea." Iruka sighed... man, this kid was such a lost cause, but he couldn't help but want to help him...
They came do that noodle place down the street... no, really, it's called 'That Noodle Place Down The Street'. They strolled on in, doing a back and forth freestyle, 'til they got to the counter, taking a seat, and relaxing a bit. As Iruka began to order the ramen, Naruto spotted two girls walking. He jumped up, excited as could be...
"Hey Sakura! How are ya today!?" he excitedly inquired...
"Back off Naruto... and KEEP UP, Ino!!" Sakura yelled at the other girl...
Ino, in all her blonde glory, hustled to catch up "I'm sorry, mommy..."
Then, almost as if Sakura became suddenly enraged, she just pimp-slapped the shit out of Ino, beginning to yell at her "Shut up, bitch, and turn this trick!"
Ino then reluctantly asked "You mean... Naruto?"
Sakura forcefully growled "Of course, why else would he come over here, you damn 'ho!"
Naruto issued a sweat drop, as he mumbled "I actually came over to see you, Sakura... but, umm... back to my ramen..."
While he walked back over, he could hear Sakura yelling at Ino, and most likely smacking her, as he went and sat down. Damn, it's a crazy world he lives in... anyway, he sat down to some wonderful ramen, not noticing that Iruka was just about to speak. He started slurping up his ramen as Iruka cleared his throat, turning to Naruto slowly...
"Naruto... I know da akademy may be causin' ya lots of aggravation... but it's ok? Yea, yea... it's ok! I'll tell ya what..."
Naruto looked up again, for while Iruka was speaking, he had taken to his ramen again. Once Iruka said 'I'll tell you what', that meant it was deal time! Ohhh, this meant easy street to somethin' and he could feel it! What is it this time, hmmm? Well, it's got to be good... he wouldn't be talking like that if it wasn't... then again... There was the time he traded the only good ramen left in his house for some stupid bubblegum! Well, Iruka knew what happens if he treats him like that...
"Ok, ya listenin'? The Clone Jutsu is quite important, so it's the graduation grade Jutsu that we need completed... so... if you can do at least ONE good one one day, you just might get outta there..." he said it so coolly, like it was nothing...
Naruto got a bright look on his face "Then I would be a Gangsta? YEA! Wait a sec... why do we need that anyway?"
Iruka coolly said "Well... it helps ya look like you're jumpin' a punk or two..."
Naruto and Iruka then went on to eat their noodles... so... master a Jutsu hmmm? Well, that's very manageable... I guess... anyway! You'll see next time.
End of Ch. 1
Well, that was chapter one, and it was probably out of order like crazy, but i'll take care of that in chapter two, and go farther most likely... so... stay tuned for more ghetto fun, baby! See yaz!
