If you asked James Potter, he would say he never found it weird that two of his best friends were always touchy-feely with each other. In fact, it was very odd to him when they weren't. If you asked Peter Pettigrew, he would agree automatically, not just because it was something that James said, but because he honestly felt it was one of the few things that were right in the world, much like the existence of sliced bread. If you asked Lily Evans, she would grudgingly admit that this was one of maybe – maybe – three things she and James agreed upon. She would also add that the one time Remus Lupin and Sirius Black had honestly fought, the whole school felt out of tune. If you ever thought of asking Severus Snape, he would tell you to fuck off and that there were no two bastards that deserved to be together more than those two. If you asked either of the two in question, they would let you know that they had always behaved as such and that they were merely the best of friends to act as such. Then, no matter which you asked, as long as they were together, and they nearly always were, Sirius would hug Remus tightly and Remus would grin almost apologetically at you and return the gesture.
Which was why it came as such a shock when Remus Lupin announced that, or rather was caught, dating someone and that someone was not Sirius Black. Shock is perhaps a bit of an understatement. It was as if the only two people who were not confused in the entire school were Remus Lupin and his girlfriend, Clarissa Vapris. Even Sirius was somewhat perplexed, though only James was really able to tell, leading the whole school to think that maybe this was just a prank, though apparently not a very convincing one as Severus said that Remus didn't have the balls to be with a girl. However, after a few days of seeing Remus and Clarissa together everywhere, it was becoming hard not to accept that the two of them were honestly dating. Peter soon found himself admitting that the two of them seemed to fit well together, and he couldn't deny that the smile on Remus' face was a truly happy one. A fact that Lily also picked up on as it was a smile reserved only for a select few, and she had always taken pride on the fact that she was the only female who had ever received that smile – at least, she had been until Clarissa appeared. Something that she, very regrettably, shared with Sirius one drunken night when she somehow found herself in his dormitory and he was the only one around.
"You mean you're jealous?" Sirius asked with an eyebrow raised as he poured himself a shot of Firewhiskey.
Lily glared at him. "Shut up," she mumbled as she stole the glass from him and downed it in one gulp. "Besides don't you feel the same way?" She held the glass out and he willingly refilled it.
Sirius had been saving up the liquor for when the Gryffindors win the Quidditch match on Saturday, but he decided that seeing Little-Miss-Perfect-Head-Girl-Lily-Evans drunk would be much more exciting. Unfortunately, she was taking a long time getting drunk.
"What are you talking about?" he wondered as he opened up another bottle and took a swig directly from it.
She rolled her emerald green eyes and sighed. "Don't you play dumb with me, Black," she warmed before emptying the glass and turning a shade of red that severely clashed with her hair. "I've seen the way you look at the two of them when you think no one's watching." Her voice lowered and she stuck out her index finger to wag it at him. "You look at them so forlornly, at her almost hatefully, and at him so longingly. It's pitiful," she spat, snagging the bottle from his lips. "Absolutely pitiful."
Suddenly, Sirius wasn't so sure he liked the idea of Lily drunk anymore. She was pretty mean after a couple drinks.
He placed a hand over his heart and pouted playfully, "That really hurt, Evans."
"Suck it up, Black," she growled. "Why don't you just admit that you have feelings for Remus? You'd both be better off that way and the school can go back to normal."
"Only if you admit your undying love for James first," Sirius snapped back, dropping the nice act. "And what are you talking about 'normal'? Hogwarts is the same as it ever was."
"Hah, I'd sooner kiss a monkey's ass than admit that. And haven't you noticed how everyone seems out of sync these days, how whenever you walk by, people start whispering, and," she held her finger up to silence Sirius' opening mouth, "you know they're talking about you because even I can hear your name and I'm always a good foot in front of you. Besides you can't deny that you don't feel like yourself not clinging to Remus all the time." She took a drink and when she looked up, she caught Sirius looking down dejectedly and pointed it out with an exclamation of "Aha!"He looked up at her with startled gray eyes before attempting to laugh it off, but Lily saw how the laugh stayed only in his mouth. "Oh, who are you trying to fool?" She shook her head and shoved the half empty bottle into his hands. "I'll make you a deal, Black. You get your act together with Remus, and I'll give Potter a chance."
Sirius gulped down two large mouthfuls and laughed again. "Yeah right, Evans. Two reasons why not," he began before she could ask and stuck up his index finger. "One, Remus ain't interested. And two," he held up the next finger, "you ain't gonna keep up your end of the deal."
"Hey, don't you start speaking like you're tough with me. And why wouldn't I keep my word? I'm very trustworthy, you know."
"You honestly want me to believe that after nearly seven years of hating James Potter, you're going to give him a chance if I get together with Remus?" he asked skeptically while taking a hesitant sip from the bottle. He had to admit, he was worried crazy was infectious.
"Yup," she confirmed with a nod before leaning dangerously close to him – so close that he could start to see the orange flecks in her eyes that James was always talking about. "You don't trust me?" she whispered, and he felt the breath on his whiskers that had grown out since his last shave. "How about we make an Unbreakable Vow then? Her normally pale thin lips that suddenly were blazing red and luscious tugged upwards in a mischievous smile and Sirius found himself unable to deny the girl.
"S-sure," he muttered. He would have agreed to anything to get the demon off of him.
Perfect teeth gleamed through the red lips with delight. In an instant, she was off of him and holding her wand in hand. She grabbed Sirius' hand fiercely in her own.
"Wait!" he exclaimed and she growled with displeasure. "Don't we need a witness or someone else to perform the Unbreakable Vow?" he asked rationally.
Lily frowned, not only because he brought up a good point, but because Sirius Black brought up a good point that she hadn't thought about. As she began to find a solution for the problem, the door to the dormitory swung open and in came a very worn out be happy Remus Lupin followed by a disapproving James Potter and a hungry Peter Pettigrew.
"Perfect!" she exclaimed, jumping up before Sirius pulled her back down hastily.
"Are you out of your mind?" he hissed in her ear as James took a moment to register the love of his life in his dormitory being awfully chummy with his best mate. "You can't ask any of them to do it."
Before she could ask why not, James descended upon them with jealousy, rage and confusion, and all hell broke loose in the dormitory despite the fact that there was a Head Boy, a Head Girl, and a prefect in the room. As the three of them (and Peter) would later agree upon, it was completely and utterly Sirius Black's fault.
Though she had been utterly and completely embarrassed by the events of the previous night, Lily was now filled with a new sense of determination to get Sirius and Remus together. Not that she was eager to make good on her deal with Sirius. No. She could have lived her entire life through without going on a single date with James Potter. But she had gotten bored of the daily routine and now to have a project just made her so excited that she was smiling through and through.
"What's with the smile, Lily?" Remus asked from in front of her. She had been too busy caught up in her own thoughts to notice the other boy as she was heading for the library, but she was glad that he had noticed her.
"Smile?" she inquired as she shook her head and tried her best to frown. "What are you talking about?"
Remus grinned his own delightful smile and she melted a little bit inside. Even though she firmly believed that Remus and Sirius belonged together and had believed so since…well maybe even since the first time she saw they together, she did have her own little crush on the sweet boy. He was, after all, the most endearing of the four rowdy boys and perhaps the gentlest, despite his "furry little problem" as James put it, of the most eligible men in the school. She was even willing to go as far to say the only eligible man in the school.
"Did something good happen? Were you able to Obliviate the memories of all who say you inebriated last night?" he teased. "Are you here to Obliviate me as well?" There was a playful tone of mild shock as he went on to say, "If you are, I kindly ask that you not go so far as to erase all my memories from last night. Just the ones that pertain to you, Sirius, James, and Peter."
"What happened last night that you don't want to forget?" Lily asked in return, ignoring his questions, as she caught him by the arm and began leading him away from the library, where he had clearly come from, and the common room, where he was obviously going.
He flushed slightly as he followed her lead. "Nothing important," he mumbled. "Just a kiss," he confessed, knowing that she would not give up until she found out, and he wasn't really in the mood to fight back.
Lily clapped her hands excitedly as her eyes lit up with the knowledge. "Really?" she asked, finding it very amusing that he was so embarrassed over "just a kiss." He really was too innocent for his own good. How he stayed that way despite sharing a dorm with Sirius and James, she'll never know. Thinking of whom, she remembered her initial goal and the light in her eyes slowly dimmed out. "That's so sweet. But, Remus, you know, I've been thinking."
Remus looked at her skeptically. There was nothing wrong with Lily thinking. She was a brilliant young girl and she always thought. It was when she told you that she had been thinking that the real trouble began. "Yes?" he asked hesitantly, not knowing whether or not he wanted to know what she had been thinking, but knowing all the same that she would tell him anyway.
"This Clarissa girl, I don't know much about her, do I? She just kind of came out of nowhere."
"What do you mean, Lily? She's a Ravenclaw, brilliant, much like you, and funny. I'm surprised you don't remember her. We've had many classes with her before and I'm pretty sure both of us have partnered up with her before."
Lily ginned at the comment before shaking her head. Of course she knew who Clarissa Vapris was, she just didn't know about her or, more specifically, how Remus knew her in such an intimate manner. "Right, right, I sort of remember her now," she lied. "How did you two get together though? Before your great revealing, I don't think I had seen you two together before."
The great revealing Lily mentioned was when Sirius, James and Peter "accidentally" caught Remus and Clarissa one a date in Zonko's Joke Shop and as a result were so shocked that they "accidentally" fired sixteen fireworks, let loose eight cans of fake snakes and spiders, popped ten festive crackers, and set off five large booby traps, giving the students at Zonko's a trip to remember. Though there were minor injuries, Remus was able to quickly heal them and James was able to pay for all the damage they caused and some, to keep Zonko from complaining.
"We just started studying one day and after about three months of meeting each other in the library and studying, she asked me out. It was actually our first date when Sirius, James and Peter found us in Zonko's," he admitted with a sheepish grin. "Don't tell anyone, Lily," he began as she leaned in. Lily loved it when anyone ever told her not to tell anyone or to keep it a secret or to promise not to tell, "but I wasn't sure if I really wanted to date her. See, there was someone else I had liked. But after the 'great revealing' we just decided to stick with it. Everyone was already watching us anyway, and I don't regret the decision at all."
"Who was this someone else you had liked?" she asked carefully, though she already had a sneaking suspicion of what the answer would be.
"Not telling," Remus teased. "It's all in the past anyway." He smiled widely as she frowned to show her displeasure. Though Lily was more upset that Sirius was the one who had ruined his own chances than she was at Remus who wouldn't tell her he had liked (and still probably did, at least in her mind) Sirius. "Where are we going anyway, Lily? It seems to me that we've just been walking around in circles."
She looked up at him and then at their surroundings to see that they were in the same spot that they had started off in. "Not telling," she mocked as she continued to walk him around.
Sirius Black was well known for his skills of secrecy. Ever since the age of four, he had learned how to keep his mouth shut and, he had to say, he was pretty proud of being able to. In fact, anyone who knew anything about Sirius Black knew pretty much nothing other than what they saw of him, unless they went by the names of James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Lily Evans. How Lily Evans ever got on that list was a mystery to him, but he liked to think it was the fault of James Potter and Remus Lupin. The only thing was that Sirius had some issues keeping large secrets from his best friend in the entire world, James. There were some things that he absolutely refused to tell James, but when James began pestering him non-stop about what he and Lily discussing the other night, Sirius decided it wasn't really worth keeping secret. After all, since they hadn't made the Unbreakable Vow, it seemed rather futile to him to even bother, especially since he could see how happy Clarissa made Remus and he didn't want to break that.
"If you'll just shut up for a second," Sirius growled through the bathroom door as he stepped out of the shower and patted himself dry, "I'll tell you what the hell we were discussing and I assure you that it was nothing of the sexual manner."
Obediently, James shut his trap and sat outside the door waiting patiently like a little puppy waiting for a meal, which was only slightly ironic. Five minutes later, just as James was about to whine again, Sirius came out looking incredibly handsome, as he always did, wearing flannel pajama pants and a towel draped around his bare shoulders. An effort, that he put very little into, that was wasted on James who trailed him all the way over to his bed and sat down on the edge as Sirius shuffled toward the center.
"So?" James prompted after three minutes of Sirius drying his hair in silence.
Sirius looked up, as if just noticing James on his bed for the first time. "What?"
"What were you talking about? Why can't Remus know? If he can't know, you better tell me quick. He can't be out all night, you know." James paused and thought about that for a second. "I mean, he could, but he's Remus Lupin, the boy who just had his first kiss the other night."
If Sirius was surprised by the statement, he ignored it and sighed. "Well, we were talking about Remus. And you, for that matter."
"You were talking about me?" His hazel eyes lit up with excitement and he leaned towards Sirius on all fours. The other boy was disturbingly reminded of the similar action Lily had done the night before. "What were you talking about? What did you say? What did she say? Did she talk about my good looks? My dashing wit? My wonderful muscles? Or did she mention something about our patrol walks together as Head Boy and Head Girl?" He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Sirius pushed him back.
"We only mentioned you about twice in the conversation, you big-headed egotistical dimwit," Sirius replied before going on to say, in a softer voice, "We actually sort of made a deal that involved you and Remus."
"Sort of made a deal," James repeated with genuine interest and a mischievous glint. "What sort of a deal did you guys make while being inebriated?"
"Only Evans was inebriated." Sirius flopped down on his back and looked up at the red canopy before answering. "Well it went along the lines of if I admit to liking Remus, she'll go on a date with you," he mumbled, hoping James wouldn't catch it, but he should have known better.
"Then what are you waiting for?" James shouted eagerly. "Go tell him now!"
"It's a little more complicated. You see, Remus has to return the sentiments and agree to go out with me," Sirius amended quickly. "But the deal doesn't mean anything. We didn't make the Unbreakable Vow, and Lily probably regrets even saying that now. She had a lot to drink."
James rolled his eyes and lay down next to Sirius. It was a little cramped, two seventeen year old boys lying side by side with their arms propped out underneath their heads, but it was tradition for whenever they spoke of something serious, and tradition was not to be tampered with.
"So what if it doesn't mean anything? I don't get it Sirius. You've been waiting forever to find an excuse to tell Remus, and then you lost your chance. But now you have another one. It's practically being forced upon you." Sirius had to disagree with James about that. It wasn't as if he absolutely had to go tell Remus. It was just that in James' point of view, this could be his only shot at getting a date with Lily. And, to Sirius, that was a little bit pathetic, so he bit his tongue and let James continue. "You know, if Remus ends up telling you that he just doesn't feel the same way, then you can tell him that you didn't mean it and it was just a plot to get me and Lily together." He grinned at the thought. "Remus can't say anything about that. He knows how much Lily means to me and how much I mean to you."
"You think much too highly of yourself, James," Sirius muttered, but James heard it anyway and whacked Sirius upside the head. "Ouch! What was that for?"
"Just a sign of affection."James smiled innocently and Sirius returned the gesture and smile.
"Right back at you."
After which a little brawl started between the two and only ceased when Lily burst in upon them angrily demanding why James was shirking his Head Boy duties and not meeting in the Gryffindor Common Room at exactly a quarter to eleven so they could begin their rounds at exactly eleven.
"So, Lily," James said, drawing out each syllable in a sort of tune as they passed down yet another empty hallway with lit wands.
"What, Potter?" she snapped back, clearly still vexed at his tardiness, or perhaps just vexed with him in general. He could get pretty annoying at times.
"I heard something really interesting from Sirius earlier." He kept up with his irritating sing-song voice, making the stone walls echo with his voice.
"Care to share?" she asked nonchalantly though her heart was actually racing, afraid Sirius had told James their discussion.
"Well, it had something to do with him saying that you two made a sort of a deal which involved you and me on a date provided that Sirius and Remus go on one as well," he blurted out and it was rather strange that the only words that resonated were "you," "me" and "date." James thought it was fate trying to tell them something. Lily thought it was James being stupid.
Secretly furious at Sirius who had told her that it was absolutely idiotic to ask James to perform the Unbreakable Vow, she replied matter-of-factly, "So I did."
James grinned a grin so wide, that Lily thought his face would split in two. "Wonderful!" he exclaimed. She waited for him to say something more, but he merely strode along with a skip in his step and that moronic smile pasted on his face.
"What? Was that it, Potter?" she prompted, wanting to get to the bottom of his game.
"Oh?" he sang once again as he turned to face her with a wicked smile. "Were you expecting more?"
She immediately slapped his cheek and strode forward as he clutched the wound as best he could. "No," she replied frigidly as he hurried to catch up to her with the right side of his face burning red. "Just wondering if you were ready to shut up yet."
"I see," he drew out as he strolled next to her. "Well, you know, Lily, light of my life, there was something else."
"What was it?" she asked as patiently as she could, even choosing to ignore the comment about her being the light of his life, which he happened to notice and caused him to smile even more. It seemed to her that he had not stopped smiling since they started talking.
"I would like to offer you my aide in fixing up Sirius and Remus. After all the two of them are my best friends and I know them pretty well. Not to mention they both trust me, and if you want them to go anywhere together and alone, well, I think you'll need my help," he said rather pridefully, but he wasn't wrong in anything he said and it pained Lily to know so. In fact, she even made a face of agony, causing James to inquire if anything was wrong with the sweetest sugar plum he had ever seen. Another slap to the opposite side of his face reassured him that all was right with his darling flower blossom.