Have you ever been a part of something
That you thought would never end?
And then, of course it did
Have you ever felt the weight inside you
Pulling away inside your skin?
And then something had to give
Now the lines are drawn
Is this feeling gone?
The best parts of this have come and gone
And now that is all this is
With the reasons clear
We'll spend another year
Without direction, full of fear
And now things will be different
Rise Against - Everchanging
It was all coming to an end. Tomorrow she would be on her way home, for the last time. She should be glad, but truth be told she was scared.
Not about the real world, no she could handle that. She probably was the most independent and capable witch of her age. It was what she was leaving behind here. Somethings aren't meant to be known. People aren't ready. They won't accept. They never will, so tomorrow it would end. Nobody would know except for her and him. And after tomorrow it would be like it never existed. They would get of the train and real life would kick in. But she knew, no matter how many times she said that to herself, she would never forget. He was it for her, and she for him and they both knew it. The rest of the world just wasn't ready for it.
She looked around her room. Ofcourse she had already packed. Her room was just an empty room, full of memories and unkept promises. Stolen kisses and crushed hopes. She hoped the next girl to sleep here would not have her haunted dreams of what could have been.
Even though there was nothing left but the bare essentials for a room, everything reminds her of him. The way the setting sun falls on her mirror and reflects on her wall with the exact same colour of his hair. These cold stones are just like his eyes. Cold, but if you spend enough time looking at them they open up to you. Just like when you stand long enough in the same place, the stones heat up from your body tempature. She can't even look at her bed for all the memories that linger there.
She knows she is not going to get any sleep anymore in this room. What better way to say goodbye to Hogwarts by haunting it's corridors and empty classrooms? Her hands scrape the ancient walls. Not even a war could bring this place down. It was an ever standing beacon of hope for young wizards and witches. Kids came here to learn and grow up hundreds of years ago and will be coming here for even more hundreds of years.
She let her thoughts wander while she aimlessly walked throught the castle. She still remembered the first time they talked. Well he talked, she was to stunned to say anything back. Never had anybody been able to make her speechless, no matter for what reason. It wasn't nice or pretty like all the other lovestories told. But then again, when do great lovestories, the ones about true love, ever begin or end nice and pretty? And theirs was racing towards it's end. Not even days left, only hours and minutes and seconds.
It was in december of her first year. Icy cold and at least ten inches of snow. She was walking towards the owlery when she felt it. One gigantic snowball right into her face. She fell flat out on her back. She heard laughter coming from a tree up ahead. Apparantly her attacker found it quite amusing that she fell down. When he came closer she thought it was to help her, but instead he threw another snowball in her face. Way to go, kick a dog when he's down.
'Leave the snow on your face Weasley, now people can actually look at you without being disgusted.'
His voice brought chills to her core. Never had somebody been so mean to her. She brushed of the snow of her face and ran to the owlery. As soon as she closed the door behind her she started to cry. She wasn't a girl to cry whenever somebody was mean to her or something didn't go her way, but this boy was just plain out cruel. After a few minutes she got herself together and swore to herself that no matter what, that boy was going to pay for what he did!
And that's how their famous feud started. He would taunt her, she would get him back. To make matters worse, he was the only one remotely smart enough to compete with her. She studied hours and hours to beat him, just like he did. Her best friend Jenny said they could be great together, but like this they would most likely destroy each other. At the time she didn't understand what she meant, but now she saw it clearly.
Fifth year changed everything. Everybody noticed things were building up the something big. Their rows had never been so venomous. Their hatred never more present than now. And then there were also their O.W.L.'s. Night after night she was studying. She was smart, but to beat him she had to give it all.
It was during a potions test in march when it happened. He sat in front of her and was doing something with his foot. It was driving her crazy. He kept on tapping it against the back leg of his chair. She was transfixed with it and than all of a sudden time was up!
She couldn't believe it! The last 20 minutes she just sat staring at his damn foot and because of that she hadn't filled in the last page. She had never been more enraged with him in her entire life. Ofcourse he was done on time since he was like a genius in potions, so he handed his test over the minute time was up. Without thinking she followed him and prepared for the row of a lifetime.
But before she even had the chance to say two sentences he grabbed her wrist and pushed her in a broom cupboard. He pushed her against a wall and looked at her with so much hatred she thought he was trying to burn a whole in her skin. He was standing so close she could feel his hot breath on her skin. His mouth was set in a thin line and his arms next to her like a cage so she couldn't excape. His eyes wide open like a deer in the headlights of a car. But there wasn't fear in his eyes, not one bit. His hair was all ruffled and she saw his muscles tense under his white shirt. She had never seen him like this, so... derailed. Like he was barely holding it together.
Her mind was running wild. She was so angry she couldn't form a straight thought. He must be feeling the same judging from the wild look in his eyes. They didn't speak, they just stared at each other for what felt for hours. When she finally had a clear moment and opened up her mouth to say something his lips were on hers.
She had never felt such passion run through her body. She had been kissed before, but this was something new. Before she could process what the hell just happened he pulled back and practically ran out of the broom cupboard.
It wasn't just that one time that it happened. Sure, at first they avoided each other but soon enough the tension started to build up again and before they knew it they were back to yelling at each other. But something had changed. More and more they found each other in broom cupboards and empty classrooms after such a row. It was like their hatred for each other was the passion that always brought them back together. Only he could make her feel so alive and she knew it was just the same for him. It wasn't long before they found each others beds.
A chill ran through her body as she suddenly realised were she was. Ofcourse her subconsious mind had let her to the dungeons. Where else was she to go on this last night? It were his arms that she sought tonight. She knew it was just a last attempted to feel alive again before they had to say goodbye forever.
When she came to his room he was standing at his window in the exact same place she had been standing just an hour ago. He knew she was here but didn't turn around. She came up behind him and placed her arms around his waist. Together they looked at the night's sky. He turned around wordlessly and kissed her.
A kiss full of passion, but not anger. Tonight was not a night for anger and hatred, but something to remember. He pulled back and looked in her eyes, still not saying a word. He brushed back a lock of hair behind her ear and brought his lips down on hers again. Their kiss was slow and meaningfull. When she nibbled on his lower lip he knew what she wanted. His tongue brushed over her lips and she instantly opened her mouth to gain him acces. They danced a slow dance of dominance.
Suddenly fear washed over her. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. She wasn't ready for this to be the last time they were truly together. Her kisses become more aggressive and stronger. He felt her change and gripped her waist more tightly. He too wasn't ready to let go. His fingers were digging into her hips, desperate to feel everything of her for the last time.
He backed her up against the wall. His hands roamed to her backside and lifted her up. Her legs fitted perfectly around his waist. She felt is excitement against her thigh so she bucked her hips forward, desperate for more contact. His mouth descended to her troath. Her hands went up his hair and pulled the roots. He groaned at the sensation it send down his groin. He liked it rough, just as she. She felt his tongue leave a wet trail along the way. His teeth bit down her neck, marking her as his.
She needed more and she needed it now. Again she bucked her hips forward, hoping he would get her meaning. Ofcourse he understood what she want. He trusted his hips into hers, creating the friction she needed. A loud moan escaped her mouth. They needed to get their clothes off. She pulled up his shirt over his head and felt the hard muscles of his chest. He didn't have the patience to undo every button of her shirt so he just ripped it open. Who cares about those damn buttons anyway if this is the last night they could be together? His hand was at her breast instantly, roughly massaging it through her bra. She loved it when he pinched her breast like that. It sends shivers of pleasure down her spine.
She needed to get his pants off. While struggling with his belt, he unhooked her bra and her breast were finally free. When he brought down his mouth to her nipple, she thought she was going to die. All the while he kept on thrusting his hips against her, making her almost come right here and now. He knew he was driving her crazy and he knew she loved every minute of it.
When he was done with her breast he brought her over to his bed. God she was beautiful, laying half naked on his bed. Her lips all swollen from his kisses, her hair all wild and messed up. A dark mark in her neck. His mark. She looked at him with eyes full of lust. They couldn't waste any more time. He practically ripped of her pants and knickers while she helped him out of his boxers. Within seconds he was finally inside her.
She hissed at the sudden feeling of him inside her. His hands gripped her hips possessively when he started trusting into her. She raised her hips to meet him and soon they were panting. He kissed her again, hungrily biting down her lips. She moaned inside his mouth and asked for more, for harder and faster. Who was he to deny her request?
It didn't take them long to finish, not when they were both so full of passion. With one last thrust he spilled his seed deep inside her while he felt her walls contract around him. Still breathing heavily he pulled out of her and collapsed next to her. She turned her back to him so he could hold her. It was a ritual well practised.
'Good night Rose.' He said with a exhausted voice and before she could say anything back he was already asleep.
'Goodbye Scorpius.' She said softly to herself. She closed her eyes before a tear could escape.
When she woke up he wasn't in the shower as he normally was. But this was hardly a normal morning was it? She felt his strong arm around her, his hand on her stomach. She could tell from the way he was breathing that he was also awake. She felt him press his lips to the nape of her neck. His other hand was softly stroking her hair.
He had no idea what he was doing. He should be in the shower right now but he just couldn't get himself to let go of her. He wanted to hold her. Not just this morning, every morning for the rest of his life. But he couldn't. He knew it and she knew it. So he stayed with her for as long as he could. He kissed her neck, he stroked her hair, but he knew it was all coming to an end.
'You need to leave Rose.' He said with all his willpower. 'You need to leave now.'
'I know. ' For a second there, Rose had hope. For something more, for something real. Who cares about other people, who cares about her parents? All she needed was him, and then she would be just fine. But the world isn't that simple, so with a deep sigh she unhooked herself from his embrace and left.
So this is it than? Their final minutes together? Her heart was beating so fast, like it knew it would never feel it's true companion again. She dressed with her back to him and quietly left the room, even though with every step she felt her heart breaking.
When she was back at her room she thought she would cry, but not a single tear came from her eyes. She packed the last of her stuff and left. There was nothing left here for her anymore.
When she was walking to the carriages she felt his fingers brush her hand. She gripped his fingers with her own and hoped he wouldn't let go. But ofcourse he did, and she knew that was the last time she would ever feel his touch on her skin again.
Before she knew it, the Hogwarts Express was slowing down and stopping. She had no idea what she did these last hours on the train and she wondered if this was how her life was going to be from now on. With a last look at the train she got out and went to search her parents.
She saw him get of the train. His mother hugging him, his father looking stern. As if sensing her, he looked up in her eyes. His eyes betrayed nothing, as usual. No last-minute romantic declarations of love, no dramatic revelations before their family. Just one look and then she turned around with the knowlegde of never setting eyes on him again. But deep inside she hoped.
Maybe, one day the world will be ready for them. Maybe.
A/N: Please review. Thanks for reading.