Cora sat in the drawing room, her back straight as a rod, her neck held high, the perfect specimen of proper ladylike behavior. Her physical body was controlled, molded to sit perfectly still and poised. If one were to walk in the room they would not know that inside her world was falling to tatters, her heart hurting and her blood boiling. Outside she looked serene and calm, yet inside she was a whirlwind of feeling that she couldn't pin down. She was lost within her own body. Feeling a sense of grief she did not know how to deal with. When Sybil had died she had been destroyed at the loss, then Matthew – she had been shocked, saddened … but this was different. The loss of her youngest child had ripped her heart from her chest, bought her to her knees in shear and utter grief, caused her mind to scream at the unfairness of it all. But this … this was different. This was another kind of grief and it had shaken her to her core.
"Cora, I … I wanted to tell you, I meant to … and then I … damn it all, I couldn't"
"You are a coward. How could you have left me to find out in this way? How dare you treat me so insignificantly after all these years, everything we have been through?"
"I didn't see what good could come of it, I thought it would only serve to hurt you more and I couldn't do that. I wouldn't do that to you"
"You already did. You make me sick. Get out. Get OUT of MY room!"
She felt a shiver run up her spine as she replied the conversation she'd had with her husband of over 30 years just a few hours previously. If Sybil's death had ripped her heart from her chest then this had torn it to shreds. The scattered pieces seemed to taunt her that she had once been so terribly happy, yet now she felt the coldness of betrayal taking up residence where her heart had once been. If only he had told her himself, maybe she could have dealt with it. But he had pushed the entire event aside, held his tongue and carried on. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of his hands on her and their many nights and afternoons of lovemaking since his betrayal. Her mind tried to bring to view the image of the maid so long gone from their home. Cora had been distracted during that time, followed by her illness she had not been the most attentive employer and could barely recall the maid. Jane she was told had been her name. She hated her. She could not recall her face yet she hated her and it felt good to do so.
"Cora? Cora?" Violet's voice came across the space separating them with a hint of irritation.
"Excuse me, I was distracted" Cora apologized. She had not paid one jot of attention to Violet or Isobel since they had been there, looking in her lap she saw the tea cup and saucer she held, the tea stone cold due to her extended neglect.
"We can see that my dear. What on earth has your attention so taken?" Violet sipped her tea while her eyes bored into Cora's face. This woman had been her greatest foe for so many years, they had argued, disagreed, spoken harshly to one another, taken offense … and yet now, the years had changed them. Allies, Violet had once called them. Allies, and now Cora felt more than just allies. Violet had seen her through the greatest heartbreak of her life, had stood by her children in their trials and heartbreaks, had become the closest and most constant parent she had. Cora was tempted to break her silence and disclose her hearts most sensitive heartbreak. She wanted someone to talk to about it, someone to understand why she felt as though her entire world had crashed and burned around her. She wanted to explain that her husband had strayed and kept it a secret for years. She wanted to tell her that everything she ever thought she knew had been upended and shaken about as if by a great tornado. She wanted it to have never happened, but as she well knew one does not always get what one wants. Calling on decades of training Cora forced a small smile to her face and told the women none of the things that she wanted to.