Disclaimer – I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters, just the story that you're about to read.

When You Don't Know I'm Watching


It's the simple things that are so hard to grasp,
Can't find myself in all these days that pass,
But I can feel it when it shines,
Never mind the way they shy,
Turning round along the trail,
My whole world is falling in love with you

- The Fire Theft, "Heaven"

He had once told Peyton he would always have feelings for her. Now the idea was laughable, what he was feeling for the curly-haired blonde was nothing but lust. He realised that. But the girl he did love was asleep beside him now, her auburn hair curling in wisps around her cheeks – he refrained from tugging it behind her ear, not wanting to disturb her in her peaceful state. Everyone said that love was some deep thing that was evident straight away. But he didn't love her at the start; of course he didn't – he was using her. And then he did…the realisation had hit him like a wave of nausea. He loved her. God he loved her. She was everything to him, and he needed her to know that. And so that night at the bus stop, he poured his heart out, confessed his innermost feelings. But then she left. And he was shattered. Feelings of helplessness like never before engulfed him. At first all he wished for was her to come back. He slowly became bitter and resented her for her betrayal. All her things were packed away; he couldn't stand to see the slightest remnant left behind. Every object was his reminder that maybe she left because he wasn't enough. He still loved her though, he always would. But was she worth it? Did he want to go through possible heartbreak again? Did he want to endure suffering of the worst kind? At that stage he didn't know. Then she had turned up on his doorstep, looking heartbreakingly beautiful in a simple white singlet and jeans, her longer hair now reaching below her shoulders. But her hair wasn't the only thing that had changed – she had. She was somehow older, wiser, stronger. He didn't know what to do. So he had put her in the guest room, and tried to avoid her at all costs. Again, she appeared in his doorway, her dark silhouette representing everything he feared. She was fretful, overwhelmed with her guilt and grief – she had climbed onto him and held onto him tighter than ever. She trailed kisses down his lips and neck, and he kissed her back. Raw passion and sorrow exploded between the two; still he knew it was wrong. For months this was all he wanted, he wanted Haley back in his arms, embracing him like her life depended on it. But he knew this wasn't how it was supposed to be, he wanted confirmation that she really, truly loved him, that he could trust her not to break his heart again. With great anguish, he pushed her off – the look in her eyes at that moment almost broke him all over again. He wanted to hurt her, but he couldn't. Instead, he did something worse. Instead, he became cruel by manipulating her and pushing her back to Chris Keller. But could anyone blame him? He was married and his wife had left him by the time he was 17. What was he supposed to do? But Haley James Scott surprised him again and did nothing to break her word, staying true to him the entire time she was with Chris.

He remembered it so clearly, it was the first time in months that he had felt any connection to her at all. He had hit rock bottom, his mum had left and Dan had become mayor. There was no one to talk to, no one to console him, no one to lovingly smooth away the crinkles on his forehead that always appeared when he was deeply stressed. But there was someone, and there always had been. So he did the only thing he could do – he called the woman he loved, who had proved time and time again that she loved him back. Later that night, she appeared in his doorway again. The big empty house that seemed to constrict him released its hold, and it felt like home again. It always did when she was around. He had never been happier to see her. She filled every room she entered with light and warmth. She was compassionate and sincere in her actions, truly wanting to take away his pain. And he let her. He let her take him in her arms and hold him, allowing her love to seep through right to his very core. From that moment on, they had slowly rebuilt their relationship, and here they were, back and stronger than ever. He was shaken from his thoughts when the petite frame next to him shifted a little. He took the opportunity to absorb her appearance. Her beautiful brown eyes, which were now closed in sleep; her rosy cheeks and her cute nose, all the way to her full, plump lips. She was so small, he wanted to protect her. Just her very nature made anyone want to protect her. When she was trapped inside the school during the shooting, he was so scared. He thought he was going to lose her again. But he couldn't, he had vowed to protect her, and he wasn't going to break that promise. Against better judgement, he had run into the school, unarmed and defenceless. But all that didn't matter, she was all that did. And in typical Haley style, she told him that she didn't want him to come because she wanted him to be safe. There was a girlish innocence about her, she was sweet and kind and considerate. He could be selfish, cruel and manipulative. But she had accepted him like no one else had, she made him feel like he was worth something; like he wasn't just around to win the game for his team or look attractive for screaming girls on boytoy auction nights. She didn't judge him for things that he had done, she helped him make that his past and instead look forward to his future. In her eyes, he mattered, his life had a reason, a purpose. He had someone to look forward to when he got home everyday, because she was always there and he knew that whatever happened, she would never leave him again. But that was all over now, in this moment they were safe, they were in love and most importantly, they were together. As if sensing his thoughts, Haley opened her eyes, looking sleepy behind thick lashes.

"I love you Haley James Scott." If Haley was surprised by the way she was greeted, she certainly didn't show it, "I love you too Nathan Scott." They both gazed at each other for an instant. "So," Haley said in between yawns, "what have you been doing?"

Nathan shrugged, "nothing…just watching you sleep." Haley smiled knowingly, as if she knew something he didn't. "What?" he questioned.

"Nothing, I guess I just understand." What exactly she understood, he didn't bother to ask, instead, he settled in comfortably next to her. She slipped in effortlessly to place her head on his chest, and his arm moved to hug her waist. Finally, husband and wife were free to fall asleep together.

The End