Autors Note: This is my first shot at a Reba fic. I happened to be listening to this song and the idea popped in my mind. The fic is in Reba's point of view
I take my index finger and slowly circle it around the top of my coffee cup. It's been 3 years since we called it quits, but it still seems like yesterday. Will this ever go away? Will I ever fully be okay with this? Hearing the footsteps of Kiera walking into the kitchen snapped me out of my thoughts
"Mom, the band has to practice tonight, is it okay if we practice here? John's parents are out of town, and since he can't have anyone over a..."
"Yeah,it's fine if you practice here, just don't be too loud and don't make it too la.." I looked up to realize she had already left the house. I guess all she wanted to hear was a yes or no answer, and I'm not shocked. I think eveyone knows that somethings been going on with me, and just have been too nice to say anything. Or maybe they already know, I mean, it's not like it's not obvious. Everytime I even think about him, my face just lights up. Everytime I see them beautiful eyes of his, mine just get lost in them. I want to hide the love I still have for that man, I mean, he did me wrong to the max. The scary thing is, I would give up the world to have it happen again, to be held in his arms on them cold winter nights. I love his wife to death, yes. But, everyone would see a whole new side of Reba if I knew that I could get him back at any costs. I sighed to myself, thinking such silly thoughts, as I got up to put my coffee cup in the dishwasher. I hear the door open in the living room, must be Van coming back from the gym
"Reba, you home?"
Just hearing his voice, I feel a smile come across my face. I just would like to ask anyone this one question, well, ask it and not sound like a total hyprocrite in a weird way
Is it bad wanting to break up a relationship, one that both parties seem perfect in, just to get your ex husband back?
"I'm in here Brock" I replied, putting my coffee cup in the dishwasher, shutting it just as he walked in
"She's driving me INSANE, Reba." he paused for a second, as I kept my smart comment to myself "She thinks that everything we've done, including our marriage, was all a mistake"
"Sit down, Brock, and take a breather. Now what is going on?" I grabbed a seat next to him, as he sighed and started all over again
"She just randomly came out of nowhere this morning over breakfast and said she was thinking that everything we've done was a mistake. I don't know where it came from, so don't ask, but it just took me off guard, because I thought we was truly happy. I mean, I know I made the right choice marrying her" I cringed and bit my upper lip, trying not to let him show that him saying that hit me at the core "but she said that she's not sure if she did the right thing. Something about being the "other woman"
"Well, Brock, I can't say anything really about this without you saying I'm being bias. What I can say though is this-treat her to a night out. A dinner and a movie, then go back to y'alls house and just…relax"
"But wh.."
"I'll take care of Henry, don't worry" I hated I was basically helping him save his marriage with Barbra Jean, but at the same time-if he's happy, I am. I hate love, because the worst part is letting go. But, why hold on when you know that the one you're holding on to already let go?
"Reba, do you know how amazing you are?" I got up out of the chair and shrugged my shoulders, walking to the refrigerator. If I was so "amazing" like you put it, then why did you cheat on me?
"Why am I so amazing?"
"Because, I don't know any ex wife who'd help her ex husband save his marriage to his current wife" I shrugged again, as I grabbed the chicken out of the freezer that I was planning to make for dinner.
"If you only knew how painful it was for me to do it, if you even had a clue" I quietly mumbled, as Brock wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug, and I just went limp. Them arms that held me tight so many nights, that kept me safe so many times, them arms that I haven't be truly happy without in five years.
And like always, she has to walk in and ruin it
"Reb..oh, nevermind-I'll just come back later" Yeah Barbra Jean, come back later, much later.
"No, it's okay-I'm leaving anyway" I let out an extremely quiet sigh, as he let me go and walked out the back door. Sometimes I seriously just want her to leave me the hell alone. But again, if Brock's happy with her, then I'm happy for him.
"Reba, I need to talk to you" I sat down at the kitchen table, not responding to anything she said. She walked in the kitchen and sat down in a chair across from me. "I think I made a mistake"
"What mistake did you make today?"
"Not today, Reba, I think I made a mistake marrying Brock" Well DUH Barbra Jean you made a mistake, I could've told you that one. "I mean, yes I do love him, but I didn't want to break up a marriage" Well, you may not have wanted to, but you sure as hell did.
"Barbra Jean, it's been five years, why start to regret is now?
"I think he's having a affair. Either that or he loves someone else" she saw the confused look on my face, as she continued "every night when he comes home, he just wants to eat, play with Henry, and go to bed. It's like I don't even exist anymore" Either she's lying, or Brock is. And I know how Brock can be, yes, but I can see the pain in Barbra Jean's eyes. And now that the pains there, I'm not sure if I want to do this to her anymore. I mean yes, she did to it to me five years ago. However, I wouldn't wish that heartache and pain on anyone.
"Well, can you think of anyone who he'd have an affair with, or he'd love?" I don't know if it was the tone in my voice, or me even asking that question at all, but I got the worst look from Barbra Jean
"You DO know Reba, he's been spending a lot of time over here as of late" I give her a drop dead look, pissed off that she'd even assume that
"WAIT, are you trying to say that he and I are having an affair? You've got to be kidding me Barbra Jean" she shrugged, then looked at me weird when I gave her a dirty look.
"You could be trying to get me back for him leaving you for me" I groaned loudly, and I had enough.
"Get out" I shouted, as I pointed to the door. She looked at me and shook her head
"I figured you'd act like this" was all she said, before she walked out the back door. Angered as I don't even know what, I stormed quickly upstairs to my room, shutting and locking the door after. Could Barbra Jean be right? I sighed, as I fell on my bed
"No Reba, she's crazy-and beyond not right" I didn't believe it anymore me saying it out loud as me thinking it. I reached under my bed and pulled out this box, and took the lid off. I sighed, as I took out a handful of pictures of Brock and I, the biggest one being our wedding picture. Yes, I still love him, with everything in my being. But, after talking to Barbra Jean, my thoughts on everything, especially him, are jumbled. I just want to know one thing
Does he still love me too?