I Just Wanna Run

A/N: I was listening to my youtube playlist and the song 'I Just Wanna Run' came on. Then I got an idea that stuck in my head and wouldn't get out, so here's the story!

Chapter 1: Running

Dean felt trapped. Sam, with his devastatingly beautiful body and innocent soul, tempting him, arousing him, making his hormones surge, was always around. John and his insults, glares, and beatings was merciless with training and hunting, especially with Dean, because Sam was 14 and he was 18. Dean wished. He wished he could run away from the feelings he knew were wrong, away from his father who didn't want him. Away from the cursed life he was 'destined' to live.

"Dean! Get out of your damn little world and pack up! We're leaving for Utah in 20 minutes!" John bellowed. Dean gulped.

"Yes, sir. Where's Sam?" Dean asked.

"Don't worry about your little brother, he's in the car."

Dean nodded and started neatly folding his clothes and putting them in his duffle. He safely tucked his diary in the bottom, where his father would never find it. Dean fingered the little baby blue book one last time, remembering the first time he ever tried writing down his thoughts, feelings, and secrets.

-FLASHBACK-

"Dean, try it. You obviously need to. I even got you a blue one." Sam said, thrusting the book it Dean's hands.

"Sam, chicks write in diaries, not men." Dean said.

"Please, Dean? I want you to have a healthy way of letting your emotions out."

"Fine. ONE time."

Dean had kept writing, even after he said only one time. It made him feel good, letting out his emotions, secrets, and fears onto a piece of paper no one else would ever read. Dean finished packing and headed out to the Impala.

"Hey Dean!" Sam exclaimed, scooting across the seat to give Dean room to be beside him.

"Hi, Sammy." Dean replied.

"What's wrong, bro? You seem sad."

"I'm not. What'cha gonna do on the way there?"

"I was thinking about talking to you. Or sleeping. Maybe both."

"Oh, well I'm pretty tired…ummmm….I mean, I think I want to talk, too. What's up, Sammy?" Dean didn't want to go to sleep somewhere where his face could be seen by John. Dean did something in his sleep John considered weak. He sucked his thumb.

"Sleep if you're tired, Dean. I can entertain myself." Sam said.

"I'm fine, Sam. " Dean said.

"But-"

"Sammy, I'm fine. I-I just don't want to sleep in the car. If I drool, I'll leave spots on the seat."

"Okay, Dean. Wait, is it because-" Sam shut his mouth as soon as he saw John. He didn't want to get Dean in trouble, not after everything he'd done for him.

Dean slowly drifted off when they were about an hour away from White Mesa, Utah. Sam tried hard to keep his dad's attention on the road, but he failed when John turned to ask Dean a question.

"What the- DEAN! WAKE UP!" John yelled. Dean jumped and became alert, sitting up straight and rubbing at his eyes quickly.

"Yes, Dad? Are we there?" Dean asked, hoping the answer was 'yes'.

"Dean Tristan Winchester! We are not there! But me and you are having a chat when we do get there! I always knew you were weak, and you just proved my point." John exclaimed furiously. Dean gulped, wishing he could disappear into the seat. He wasn't planning on even going to sleep. Now John thought he was weak.

"I-I'm sorry, Dad. I wasn't trying to be weak…I don't even know that I do it."

"Dean, do not speak the rest of the way there. I am disappointed in you. How dare you set such a bad example for Sam."

Dean nodded and stared out the window. He felt like crying. He didn't want to be a bad example, or weak. Dean ached to just run away from it all. But Sam was the only reason he stayed. He loved Sam in a not so brotherly way, and he hoped if he stayed, they could develop a relationship. 10 minutes later, they pulled up to the Dusty Roads Motel. Dean jumped out quickly and grabbed all the bags.

"Here, Dean. Let me take me bag." Sam said, reaching for his duffle.

"No, Sammy. I'll do it. Go up to the room and read or something." Dean replied.

"Dean, look, I'm really sorry that Dad knows about your habit. It's okay, Dean. Everybody has a quirk."

"Sam…just do what I say, please. I'll be in Dad's room for a bit, then I'll do something with you."

"But, Dean-" Dean was already walking away. He walked up to John, who grabbed him by the back of the neck and led him away.

"Now, what am I going to do with my weak, pathetic son? You always were your mother's boy. I'm surprised you're not crying yet." John said. Dean gulped again.

'I just wanna run.' Dean thought.

A/N: ok, cheesy ending. Probably a terrible first chapter that went no where…or did it? Maybe John will find Dean's diary. Oh, well. I'm sure you know what's gonna happen in the next chapter, but here's a hint: John reprimands Dean.