Crimson Christmas

…

Neal felt like he was drowning. Sounds, one small moment so squealing and annoying, now nothing more than muffled hums. It was like he had fallen into a lake with no water in it. There was nothing he could feel. But still something made him feel like he was going to drown any minute now. His body, sandwiched between thin air, had no change against floating away from the real word. He was now in a different world. A land where there was no 'up' or 'down'. And no gravity at all. Just empty space that smelt like pennies. Tasted like pennies! Yugh. But oh God the crushing pressure came later. Something was crushing him!

A little aware of the surroundings Neal noticed that he was sitting down. Blood was rushing to his head. He was sitting down, upside down. And something pressed against his lungs. As the reality started to sink in slowly, Neal remembered something about today. Today was a special day. Today he wanted to tell two people that he liked them. One eye spontaneously popped open. A flash of hard white light was hurting his head. To bright! To real! To direct! Neal wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to know that he wasn't safe. Then… someone screamed out of pain and confusing. And unfortunately Neal noticed that it came from his mouth. Now both eyes popped open. And he saw blue and red, flashing at him dizzily. 'Oh no!' he thought, finally getting a bit more aware. He just had been in a car accident!

He was stuck. There was no way he could get out of here. His hands were too heavy. His stomach burned. His legs numb.

Now, the only thing he could hear was the sound of crackling and shattering glass under moving feet. Along with a weird crunchy sound, like someone was walking on… The Snow!

"Hey, we got a life one in here! Hurry, get the stretcher. Oh man that looks… Well. Hold on, Sir." Neal nodded automatically. Then he lost track of everything.

Neal felt very light. He was drifting on air. Cold icy air and small little kisses from the bypassing birds attack his face and hands for no reason at all.

Another wave of cold air made him drift further from his place. Time must've been passed without any notice…

And when his eyes were forced open by a rubbery hand Neal could finally see that he wasn't drowning nor flying away, but in fact very stuck between cold metal.

The cab was turned. Up was down again. The blood flow in his head felt better now.

Voices were calling at him. Very eager to know how he felt and where it hurt. Neal still couldn't quite put his finger on it were he was not okay but knew that something wasn't feeling good either. Hands were all over him now. Someone said something about a 'nasty fracture' and 'major artery'. Then a few men started counted down to do something, whatever that meant. For a moment Neal lost track of time again but noticed how weak he felt, now that he was lying down. Snowflakes were falling on him. And that was the moment Neal knew that he shouldn't be here at all. His short panic attack he was having at the moment was hushed away by a low manly voice. "It's okay buddy. We get you to a hospital soon, alright?" a strong voice caught his ears. A short stabbing pain bloomed up below his right hip and above his shivering knee. "Stop panicking. You are in good hands. Let me take care of the wound, sir. Sir?"

No one told him what was going on with him. He wasn't panicking. He was… but...

Words like: "shock" and "O-neg" got his ears before the noises started to fade again. Replaced by a little voice inside Neal's head that told him this was all a big nightmare.

Until they freed his leg.

…

It had been a crazy couple of months for Peter Burke. After doing some time in prison, being promoted and getting to be Neal's handler again, he could say that it was time for him and his wife to get a break of this. After all the up's and down's they needed this Christmas Eve so much. Enjoying good food. Watching old cheesy movies while getting spoiled with gifts for each other.

Now to think of it, this actually was their first Christmas Eve they spend together for a long time. Without family or friends. And yes… a Christmas Eve without Neal Caffrey as well. It was kind of exiting. But also… kind of strange.

Both of them never expected to feel this guilty without their ex-convict. Not that he wasn't invited, or anything. They both called him too much already. But with no success. His answer was sort of always the same.

"It's a family thing, Peter. I am not family. Not anymore. All I do is making a mess of your life, and Elizabeth's. I can't take another fall. You don't deserve this. Merry Christmas. And I am sorry."

Something had changed between them.

After the years of working together and occasionally having him over for dinner, Neal was suddenly very absent these last few months. And that was actually kind of sad, because Neal was welcome here, Even if his old man framed Peter for the dead of Senator Pratt. Neal probably felt really bad about this. Even though this wasn't his fault, and even though he managed to set things right, Neal had changed around them. And despite the kind words from his wife, sending him tons of messages on his phone, Neal still didn't want to come over.

Of course this hurt a bit. Peter knew how responsible Neal felt for what his own father did to him. And of course Neal obviously didn't care how many times he had told him that this wasn't his fault. That Neal didn't pull that trigger on Pratt, but only his father did.

Peter wanted to forget this. But this thing was drawing a line between them, and their relationship. It was a very thin and invisible line. And none of them wanted it to be there. But it was.

And Neal probably was a bit more aware of this line than he needed to.

Poor Neal… now he bailed out on that one thing he had beside his uncertain life. And that one thing he needed so much. Friends. A place to be when he was feeling blue.

When Peter first told Elizabeth that Neal wouldn't come for this reason, her face fell. Peter didn't quite understand why she was that sad about it. She had always told him to be careful.

But El was actually kind of worried this thing had something to do with her. She had sort of blamed Neal for turning her husband into one of his kind in order to get what he wanted. Not with these words. But she certainly had mentioned to him, once or twice, that he was in fact a criminal who did some time in prison as well. And also that if Peter would stay in there, Neal would go back there himself. After he managed to get Peter free, with all dropped charges, Elizabeth was starting to worry Neal did something bad and dangerous because she asked him to do so. In order to fix what he broke in their trusting relationship. Again… not with these words… but sadly very close.

And with Neal bailing out on Christmas Eve with them she had her reasons to feel a bit unpleasant about this. Was she right? Did Neal something bad for her? Did he have gotten himself into trouble for her and Peter? Something that was going to backfire any time soon?

Again… a bad feeling was coming over her.

"Hon? Did you check in on Neal this evening?" she asked then. Peter, who was sitting in the living room while waiting impatiently for dinner that El was working on for the whole day, looked up from his case file.

"Elle, I called him two times already. Don't worry so much. Neal is a grown man. He said he wanted to be alone this evening. June is in Italy, visiting family and friends and he has to stay on dog duty for the whole holiday season, he said. And you know how or Satch thinks about small dogs." Peter was playing dumb. Not only for her wife; but kinda more for himself. He wasn't planning on feeling this concerned about his friend this whole day, either. But it just happened. The sad feeling about Neal wanting to be home alone for Christmas sort of sneaked up on him. And he couldn't stop it. Acting like it didn't concern him was a hard thing to do. Especially if his wife wasn't someone to let herself get fooled easily.

"Alright. Then I call him one more time. And I promise I will stop this conversation this whole evening." Elizabeth had her phone ready fast. "It's just that…. Something isn't feeling right." And it made Peter laugh.

"No kidding! Neal is always up to something. But I know exactly what you're saying. He was never been this obvious. Maybe it's a good idea to call him, hon. If you can't persuade him into doing something normal like a normal person would do on a Christmas Eve, then no one can."

She smiled. But her eyes wandered to the TV who was muted down. With a frown she dropped the phone and nodded to the news images. "Peter. Turn it up would you?" she asked a bit dazed. Peter, who never took an interest in the TV finally noticed what was going on.

Apparently a nasty snow storm was hanging over New York. Some of the roads, according to the news, were already unattainable. Five inches of snow already, and at least another seven would come.

Sure they noticed the thick grey clouds all day. But since it was already dark outside, and they weren't planning on leaving their house, they never even looked outside or noticed that it was actually snowing pretty hard.

"Well… apparently Neal is better off at home right now. So maybe you should let it go. Getting through this weather always ends up bad." Elizabeth bit her lip. Peter was right.

She knew that. The weather in New York was always 'all or nothing'. That meant that if it was going to snow… it would snow hard! Neal was never going to be able to get here safely. With a sigh she put her phone away.

"You're right." She sounded almost disappointed. But that odd feeling never left her stomach…

…

As the snow was falling even harder and harder, during their quiet evening, Peter was getting more and more anxious. He had enjoyed his dinner and Elizabeth as well but something kept bugging him.

Neal.

Neal.

Something with Neal.

"That's it. Now I am going to call him. See if he is okay. Maybe Mozzie is keeping him company," Peter muttered frustrated.

Elizabeth smiled fondly while thinking about the same thing.

"That's very fatherly of you, agent Burke. Go call him. Here, use mine. Your battery is getting low, Hon. I keep telling you to buy a new one but you never listen to me." Peter looked at his telephone screen. Revealing her good point. "Yeah. I will buy a new one after Christmas. I promise," Peter muttered. Elizabeth was always right.

Without noticing that Peter called directly to Neal's private number, someone was picking up the phone who wasn't Neal at all.

"Suit," the strong, and yet humorously flat, voice spoke.

"Mozz? Hi. Uh Merry Christmas by the way…"

"Yeah... well. What makes you think that, mister?" Mozzie spoke again. Finally revealing his tipsiness.

One annoyed, and yet amused look at his grinning wife, Peter groaned annoyed.

"Can I talk to Neal, now?"

"… To Neal? What do you mean? Isn't he with you?"

That got them actually quite confused.

"Wait a minute… he was planning to come after all? What did he say?" Peter asked stunned.

Elizabeth had a bad feeling about this.

"He isn't stuck in traffic is he? When did he leave?"

"I… uh. A few hours ago. But the snow wasn't that bad back then. He called me over to babysit the dog." Now, Mozzie was getting worried as well.

"Mozz… what aren't you telling me? Should I be worried? Come on. I have that odd feeling all day," Peter tried. His hand was getting tense around the phone. He almost sounded desperate. This had shocked Elizabeth. Because Peter's intuition about Neal's wellbeing was never wrong. "Is he in trouble?" she asked. The look in her husband eyes showed her that he was almost sure of it but didn't know.

"Sorry. This is where I take off the plane. I will never betray my friend by talking about him behind his back to a suit… Suit. But uhh… I don't think he is in great danger or anything. Probably just stuck in traffic. Call him. And then… call me back, alright? I don't want him to think that I am turning soft about him."

"We'll do." And right when Peter ends the call, Peter's phone rang. The caller ID showed them Neal's name.

Elle got it in a fast motion.

"Neal!" she almost yelled.

Crackling sounds where made. Then a few mumbling voices in which Elizabeth didn't recognize.

"Are we speaking to Mister or Misses Burke?" a male voice spoke. The reception wasn't very good. And that could only mean that they were put onto speaker, or that Neal's phone was damaged somehow.

Either way, it was scary to think about what this could mean. Peter grunted out of concern.

"This is Agent Burke. Go ahead," he spoke flatly; trying hard to not sound too emotional.

"Agent? Well, that explains a lot. Sorry. Hello agent Burke. This is Doctor John Baldwin from the Maimonides Medical Center on 48th Street and Tenth Ave." There was a long pause, probably meant to give him some time to let the word 'hospital' sink in before getting further.

"Yeah," Peter answered, looking frightened at his wife.

"Yeah, we have a man being brought here with an open bone fracture, claiming to be an FBI agent. He couldn't tell his name nor address but said to look up your name in his phone to ask if you would come over in order to remove his anklet monitor device. I think he is going to need surgrey but we have to make a scan first."

"A scan? What happened to him? Did he break something? Is he alright?" Elizabeth gasped. Her hand claps on her mouth.

"Car accident. A cab got hit by a truck, about an hour ago. This poor guy just happens to be in it. His right femur is broken and he lost some blood. But otherwise he is quite lucky to be alive. Cabdriver didn't survive. Uh enough said... I am aware this is sounding very scary over the phone and all. I was wondering however what to do with the anklet? Is there some protocol? Because we didn't know what to do with it. I suspected he was some fugitive or something. That's why I wasn't sure that he was telling the truth about being a cop. Because, cops usually don't wear that kind of jewelry."

It was understandable to be a bit confused about this.

"He isn't a cop. It's uhh… kind of a long story. But Neal Caffrey is my responsibility. He works for the FBI under my supervision. But about that, Doctor Baldwin, if you have to cut off the anklet for medical uses you can just cut it. But before you do there are a few things you should do first, before the Marshals are storming in on you. There is a tracking number on the left side of the anklet. I can give you the number from the marshal office. You have to inform them first before you do anything alright?"

"Sure. Thanks again, agent Burke. This is the first time we get to do that, sir. But… just to be sure, is this man a bad criminal. A violent type, I mean?"

Peter suddenly felt the urge to be there.

"No, he isn't. But you are having a good point there. The procedure of this situation also involves a certain cop to be there at all times, if the anklet is going to be removed. Do you have someone in the building who could stay with him until I arrive? Otherwise he has to be restrained until I get there. I would like to come in and take that responsibility as soon as I can."

"Yeah, we have someone, but… that's not really necessary. The patient has a broken femur. He isn't going anywhere."

"I know, Doctor. But those are the rules. I'll be there soon."

"Well, yes of course, agent Burke. But there is one little problem. There were a lot of accidents on the road already. It's very dangerous. I advise you to come on foot, if that's possible?"

Elizabeth was already in tears but Peter stayed strong, because he was needed.

"That hospital should be not far from our house. It's maybe a ten to fifteen minute walk. Is Neal still conscious?" Peter had to ask. Because he was pretty sure he heard him moan in the background.

That made the doctor chuckle a bit.

"Yeah he is. Your friend was pleading to put you onto speaker. I couldn't ignore those pleading eyes. And I'm actually glad I did. He is finally calming down. I think it's because he is listening to your voice."

That was reassuring. Peter took a deep breath and gathered his coat in the meantime. Elle helped him to put it on.

"Can I talk to him?" he asked hopefully. The phone made a few crackling sounds that indicated that it was being moved. Then, a faint chuckling sound was being heard.

"Hey, Pet'r. I bought you a-a gift.. b-but it broke… sorry," a faint voice started talking immediately.

It was Neal's. He was okay! Peter stopped whatever he was doing and looked up at his wife with a great smile on his lips.

"My God. You almost gave us a heart attack, buddy. What happened? How bad is it?" Neal laughed over the phone. But somehow he ended up groaning in pain. Then the phone got passed to the doctor.

"Yeah, he is fine but… we need to get him under soon, in order to restore the fracture, agent Burke. We will take good care of him. But, seriously… I don't think Neal is going to last any longer with this amount of morphine. See you soon. He is getting really tired now."

"Alright alright. Thanks for calling us. And tell Neal to relax, we are on our way."

El was rolling a shawl over his neck and handed him a pair of warm hand cloves. " Ow hon, wait. Don't forget about the booths I bought for you." A package was pulled from under the tree. She had bought it as a gift he would get this evening but since this evening was a bust she had to give it to him now. Now he would need it this.

Peter looked at the wrappings being undone by herself and smiled fondly. "They look nice, Hon. Thanks. Very thoughtful of you." She smiled halfhearted, her mind was on the horrific image of Neal being hurt and alone somewhere in the hospital.

The door was locked and they got down the step together. Snow was already coating them. And the cool air made it very hard to breath. My God, this weather was awful.

…

Finally arrived at the hospital, both Elizabeth and Peter were shivering like leaves from the extreme cold. It took them nearly an hour to get here and just like the doctor told them, it was a hell out there. However, it was very warm inside the hospital. Snow was already melting from their jackets when they walked further; leaving a wet trail behind them.

But there wasn't time to think about anything of that, and Peter walked straight to the reception desk. With flashing his badge he got the floor and room number where he and Elle could find Neal.

Soon Peter found out from the same doctor that Neal was already getting prepared for surgery.

"I'm very certain that a few of his nerves are damaged in the process. And that's something we can't fix. Also one major artery was hit by the bone. Mr. Caffrey had lost a few pints but we manage to stabilize him this long. You can still see him before the surgery starts if you like, but it has to be very quick. He needs this surgery."

El nodded while grabbing into Peter's arm.

"We would like that, Doctor."

The doctor pointed the way to a small darkened room where Neal was waiting for a surgeon who still wasn't available. In the meantime Neal was sleeping deeply and wasn't even aware that he had visitors to wish him luck.

El eyed the big crimson dot under a thick layer of bandages. He was stripped down to only a gown that didn't even cover everything. His chest was still visible. But a baby blue sheet was covering the rest of him. If Neal had been awake he would scream ashamed of how near he came to naked affront of his wife. El didn't even care about the chest. She only had eyes for the scratches and bruises around the side of his face. It where all cuts from shattered glass. His hands were injured as well, they both were bandaged tight. But the scariest thing of all was the leg. They made a cast from cardboard and ducktape to hold everything together while they waited for an available room and a capable surgeon who could fix this mess up, properly. The nice doctor already said it was a nasty fracture. And all of his words finally started to sink in.

He grabbed a bandaged limb hand and squeezed it carefully. He didn't know what to say when Neal was kind of reacting to his touch. But he didn't had a change to reply because a nurse came in with a chard.

"There is a room available for mister Caffrey. The Surgeon is coming to get him as soon as he can." El nodded briefly. Then watched her husband smile while bending forward, over the sleeping young man. As careful he could be, he placed a tiny kiss on Neal's forehead, like a father would do by his own child.

"Good luck, buddy. We will be here."

AN: I had this chapter hidden in my files, for one whole year. (Well, obviously I made it a bit different, because of the spoilers form this season 5. Sorry guys!) and translated it in English. This is the first chapter. One other will come very soon! Please read it and let me know if it is okay enough to keep it up here.

X

Josie