Chapter 1

Jasey Rae

Her name was Jasey Rae. We grew up together back in Baltimore, Maryland. She wasn't the most popular; in fact I was her only friend. She was bigger than most girls; not at all skinny, but still perfect. She had long dark wavy hair that met the middle of her back and the biggest, most amazing brown eyes. She was so talented; she could play anything you gave to her. Her voice was perfection. She sung the worst songs ever written, but when the words came out of her mouth it was pure bliss. She was my first; my first everything; my first love, first kiss, and the first to make love to. But she's gone now, and I'll never forgive myself for the pain I caused. I'll never forget the look on her face the night I left her standing there in the dark, waiting. I never showed. And now… now I regret it with everything I have. I had to choose. Sometimes, It feels like I chose wrong; her or my career? If I chose her I would let my friends down. Everything we worked so hard for. But it wasn't an easy choice. I only ever truly loved her, and I couldn't ever love anyone else again. I promised myself that. I haven't either. My name's Jack, Jack Barakat, and I screwed up.

We met in pre-school. Some kids were picking on her; kid stuff. No big deal. But I stopped them. Whoever said chivalry was dead? Soon, we became best friends. We were inseparable, even our parents became friends. It felt like nothing would come between us. But then, when I was sixteen and my career took off, I lost her. No one saw how hard it was for her dealing with school, family, and just plain society. Her family was the worse though. They abused her; mentally and physically. Nobody saw it; no one but me. People always believed her when she told lies about her scars and bruises. How didn't they see? I promised her though… I promised I'd take her away, forever. I broke that promise. The day we were supposed to leave was the day I made the biggest choice… the biggest mistake; my career…or her?

That night, after we got signed by Hopeless Records, her parents called, "Jasey's gone! We can't find her anywhere!" But I knew exactly where she was. I ran out of my house as fast as I could. What the hell have I done? "Please be there…" I whispered to myself. It kept repeating in my head. I had to find her. There she was; exactly where we'd first met. Right where I knew she'd be. I tried to walk to her, but something held me back. Fear? Why was I scared? I stood, frozen, as if I were paralyzed. I just stood and watched her. She was breathing hard, and her eyes were puffy. She's been crying. But why was I scared? I just had to keep asking myself. I hide myself, standing off to the side. I watch her cry. "What the hell did I do?" I whispered to myself.

I haven't seen her in seven years. I learned to forget, I hoped to God she did too. She should forget me, it's what I deserve. It helps ease the pain knowing I'll never see her again anyway. I guess I'll always be too afraid to face her.

"Jack!" a loud voice called from behind me. I jumped and turned to see Alex. "Hey, you coming?"

"Yeah… um… sorry."

"You always zone out after shows. You smoking something?" I laughed and shoved him. "Shut up dude…" I said, grinning loosely. We walked out into the parking lot. Loud piercing screams pierced my ears; screaming fan girls were pushing and shoving each other to het in front of the crowd.

After signing autographs and taking pictures with the fans, we started towards the car. It was a four door truck, no not a truck with a tail gate on the back. It was black Toyota 4Runner. Lame right? But it was end of tour and we didn't need that big tour bus anymore. I yelled in excitement, "LETS DO THIS SHIT!" The air filled with laughter. I grinned. I loved making people smile or laugh at any cost.

We started to the nearest bar we could find. I was just so ready to get a drink; this night seemed to drag on for forever. The truck was filled with laughing and yelling. It was Alex, Zack, Rian, Myself, and some of the band crew. I laughed as I was shoved in the ribs my Rian, "I dare you, bro." he said laughing. "I'll do it! Don't think I won't, never underestimate me." I said grinning. "Then do it… I dare you!" I stuck my head out the window and lifted my shirt as Alex drove down the road. "My nipples hurt! I HAVE A MANGINA!" I yelled then pulled my shirt back down and sat back into my seat. Everyone was laughing hysterically.

We walked into the bar laughing and I eminently started to dance my way to the bar. The music and conversations filled the room. I sat down at the bar and took a look around studying my surroundings. The only one sitting beside me was a drunken man with a shaggy beard and a baseball cap on. Classic bar drunk I thought to myself as I chuckled under my breath. I asked for my usual, a single shot. I gulped it down without even having a chance to savor it. I ask for another and I did the same; not even savoring it. I felt so anxious. But why? I convinced myself it was all stress and nerves.

"Get the hell out of my face!" I heard a man yell from behind me. I turned around to see a slender man about 6 foot 3 inches hovered over a more petite girl maybe around 5 feet 10 inches. He was at least twenty-five and she had to be twenty-three. The music had almost gone silent. I watch for a while as they fought back and forth. Just probably a girl dancing with another guy and her boyfriend getting all pissed, typical, I thought to myself. I turned back around and asked for Corona and I chugged half of it down.

I heard the girl yell at him in ranging anger, "Fuck you! I'm tired you treating me like this. I haven't done anything to you and all you do is whore around." I turned back around to see the show. I grinned as I thought bar fight mother fuckers. I took a swallow of my ice cold beer and watched in interest. Then suddenly I felt enraged with anger, the man had grabbed her by the arm as she turned to walk away and jerked her back. He was squeezing her arm; I could tell his grip was tight. She winced in pain then jerked her arm free and walked out the door in fury; he followed behind her.

I felt my body being lifted out of the stool I was once sitting in. I pushed my way through the large crowd pushing and shoving each other; dancing with strangers. I finally made my way out the door into the fresh cold air. I saw the couple go behind the building out the corner of my eye. Should I follow them… or should I just stay here? I thought to myself. Finally I felt myself walking towards them once more.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" I heard the man ask in a harsh deep voice. "Away from you and your bullshit, I'm done!" The girl yelled bad in fury. The man laughed as if she had just told the funniest joke he had ever heard. "You're not goin' away, Rae," He said in the harshest tone possible, "You're mine…remember?" Hesitatingly I slowly walked towards them; a little scared. Am I really going to take up for someone I've never met in my life? I questioned myself.

The girl turned to walk off but the man grabbed her by the arm and jerked her back fiercely. "Let me go! You don't own me, Riley!" She yelled; her anger turning into fear. "Oh but I do…you stuck with me, now you're mine." He grinned so devilishly. She started to squirm in fear, I could tell she was about to cry. He shook her furiously. "Stop fighting, Rae! You know you won't win, you never do. I always get what I want, and what I want is you." He grinned and jerked her into his arms, slowly siding his hand down her side.

"Hey!" I yelled. The man turned his attention towards me. "Let her go…" I said my voice cracking. He jerked her away and turned his body toward me. "Who the hell are you?" His voice was low but challenging. "That…doesn't matter… Just leave her alone… she obviously doesn't wanna have anything to do with you… so just go on your marry little way." I felt myself starting to shake in fear. He grinned as he started to walk closer to me. I felted my body move backwards as I raised my hands in front of myself. He was much taller than what he seemed. "I don't want any trouble I just want you to leave her alone…please?" Please? Really? What are you, in pre-school? I felt his hands force me back. The force was strong. I could feel myself getting angrier each time his shoved me.

Suddenly I felt my fist being slammed into something hard; his jaw. I must have hit him harder than I thought because he had hit the ground hard. I was still so angry, as if something had taken me over. I just kept kicking him. Why was I so angry? "Stop!" a pitiful voice yelled; it was the girl. Somehow I finally found the strength to stop kicking him. Why was I so angry? I kept asking myself. I just stood there hovered over him; staring him down, as if he was still challenging me. But he wasn't, he just laid there wincing; holding his stomach.

I slowly raised my head up until my eyes met her face. She was standing in the dark all I could see was her silhouette. All I could hear her whimpering. She slowly walked towards me staring at the body that lay on the ground. "I called the police…" She muttered, as if she didn't want anyone to hear. Shortly after she muttered those words police sirens felled the air.

After about an hour trying to explain what happened to the police they finally let us go.

"Riley Joe Humor, you are under arrest for drug abuse, attempted murder, and running from the law for six years." The police said as they handcuffed the man. Wow, I thought to myself, I took down a fugitive… I thought proudly.

"You were seriously dating that guy?" I asked her as we walked back towards the bar. She chuckled softly as if to say Crazy right? "Yeah but he wasn't like this when we first met… believe it or not he was actually sweet… well at least that's what he led me on to be." We were so comfortable in front of each other. Maybe it was because we just kept staring ahead instead of awkwardly looking at each other. "He obviously never got Citizenship in school." I said. She let out a soft, quiet laugh. "What about you?" I asked. "What do you mean?" she said turned her focus towards me. "Did you ever get Citizenship in school?" I said trying to make her smile. Successfully it worked, she was grinning from ear to ear. "Actually yes I did." she said turning her head back facing the sidewalk in front of her.

We finally made our way to the front door of the bar. "Well, bye." She said walking past the door not even stopping. "Wait." I said reaching out to her. She stopped and turned to me. "Do you want a lift back to your home?" she just smirked and turned back around and started walking.